{"id":399,"date":"2015-01-15T05:00:23","date_gmt":"2015-01-15T10:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ohwelltoobad.com\/?p=399"},"modified":"2025-04-28T08:46:25","modified_gmt":"2025-04-28T12:46:25","slug":"ohwelltoobad-com","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ohwelltoobad.com\/?p=399","title":{"rendered":"“Five Twenties, A Life Of Living Dangerously.”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

A <\/strong>Pulp-Noir Novel..\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/h1>\n<\/header>\n
\n
\u00a0<\/h6>\n

“Five Twenties, A Life Of Living Dangerously, is an emotional, dark, suspenseful story. The subject is raw, disquiet- disturbingly unsettling. Inspired by true events, however dates, most names have been changed throughout this story for obvious reasons and to protect the innocent. Some <\/em>incidents have been <\/em>fictionalized<\/em> for dramatic purposes.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Chapter: 1\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Five Twenties:<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“My life is merely a smattering of circumstances. If any of those circumstances had been changed in any way anywhere along the way, so would my life be changed.”\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0jennifer furner<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
\n

One afternoon, I ran into Eddie at the Bodega over on 159 St. and Melrose Ave in the South Bronx while I\u2019m buying a couple of beers. He\u2019s a tall, white Irish guy who I knew through my friend, Moe. I hadn\u2019t seen him since I left for the Army over two years ago.<\/em><\/p>\n

What I had heard about Eddie when I got home\u2014he had been doing a life term at a prison in Alabama, or a chain gang, as we called it, for participating in a bank robbery that resulted in the double murder of two tellers.<\/em><\/p>\n

The best way I could describe Eddie is that he was flagitious, extremely wicked.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Just, Criminal\u00a0..<\/em><\/p>\n

We head over to a basketball court over on 158 St. to drink our beers. We got to\u00a0 talking, exchanging stories about what we\u2019d been doing. Neither one of us has been up to anything productive. He tells me he\u2019s on the run, that he\u2019s a fugitive.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHow did you escape dude,\u201d I ask him in between sips of my Schaefer.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI fake being sick. I throw up after eating a bar of soap and I shake like I\u2019m having convulsions. They took me to the med unit off the prison grounds,\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He tells me..<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThey handcuffed me in front and I undid them in the back of the unmarked patrol car, with a paperclip I had in my mouth. I let the cuffs sit loosely unlocked on my wrist.<\/em><\/p>\n

When we pulled up to the med unit, the passenger guard got out to help me out of the back seat and I pretended that I was still in a daze.<\/em><\/p>\n

As he started to help me get out of the back, I slipped the cuffs off and I was able to take his gun. I quickly hit him across the head, knocking him to the ground. By the time the driver realized what was happening, I have him in the sights of the gun.<\/em><\/p>\n

I yell at him not to move and tell him to keep his hands on the steering wheel. I get in the passenger side, take his gun, force him out and speed off towards the interstate.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

A short time later, he was spotted, a chase ensued by the State Troopers. He said that the chase was intense: He had finally lost them for a bit, but they ultimately spotted the car and picked up the chase.<\/em><\/p>\n

He got off the main road in a panic. He took a back country route hoping to lose them, only to realize that it was a dead-end. But the dead-end was just after a small bridge.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cMy only chance of getting out of that was to drive the unmarked police car off the fucking bridge,\u201d Eddie says with a smile, a glint of crazy peaking through his deep, blue eyes.<\/em><\/p>\n

When I came to the bridge, I drove that piece of shit Ford right into the river. I was hoping it would look like an accident\u2014like I had lost control and drowned.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Moments before the car went hurtling into the water, Eddie said he opened the door and rolled out, clutching the cop\u2019s guns against him.<\/em><\/p>\n

He swam and floated downstream for a day, being careful to stay off the roads and paths, avoiding contact with anyone.<\/em><\/p>\n

After a week, he made his way back to New York City. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Now here \u2018He was\u00a0 in the South Bronx, strung-out-as-can-be, hiding\u00a0 from U.S. Marshall service. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He might have been the fugitive, but we were both on borrowed time. We decided to hang out and hustle together, to pool our resources.<\/em><\/p>\n

A few nights later he tells me he hasa mark for us.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a two-man job\u2014we can take down this heroin dealer up on the Grand Concourse,\u201d he said, we can do it, it\u2019s just a guy and his wife. They\u2019ll be home late, maybe at 3:00 in the morning.<\/em><\/p>\n

They deal at the club on Jerome Avenue on Friday and Saturday nights. I know they\u2019ll have a shitload of money, maybe some smack we can split.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I tell him I\u2019ll think about it. I\u2019m not comfortable with it. A lot can go<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m in. Tell me the plan, I say to him two days later.<\/em><\/p>\n

The plan is simple; he says..simple;<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThey get in at about 3:30 in the morning, we\u2019ll be waiting for them on different floors.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll run down from the 5th, you\u2019ll run up from the 3rd floor when we hear the elevator coming up. As the doors open, we take them.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I must have shown my hesitance on my face because Eddie assured me that it would all be OK\u2019.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know they\u2019re not going to call the cops,as he takes a deep drag off of his cigarette. What are they going to do? Call the police and say, \u2018Hey we were just robbed at gunpoint for our dope and drug money.? \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Well, how do we get away.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll steal a car the night of\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He says.<\/em><\/p>\n

Which night.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s do Friday night I\u2019m desperate.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

So am I’.,<\/em><\/p>\n

Will need weapons, I can borrow a gun form \u201cFlaco\u201d for myself but what about you.?<\/em><\/p>\n

” I think, I can get a piece’ but I’m not 100 percent sure. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019ll take them and then head back to the neighborhood, relax, it\u2019ll be easy.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

We hash over the plan. We\u2019re all set. Friday night is two days away. I\u2019ll finally have some money and some smack to sell\u2014maybe enough to get away from the ghetto.<\/em><\/p>\n

Friday night I\u2019m down and out, drinking a bottle of pluck in the front foyer of my mother\u2019s building while I wait for Eddie at 2:30 in the morning. .<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s February, it\u2019s 10 degrees outside. <\/em>I\u2019m wearing an Army green field jacket over a T-shirt with a light sweater over that. <\/em><\/p>\n

A pair of old sneakers and some blue jeans. I have the gun and a 10 inch knife for Eddie, just in-case he comes up empty-handed.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve tucked them both in my jacket and jeans. Leaning against the door and I can hear the cold winter wind howl. My breath fogs up the glass as I stare out onto the street.<\/em><\/p>\n

All I need now is to be seen in the entrance by a patrol car and I\u2019m fucked. <\/em><\/p>\n

Standing in the shadow of the dimly lit foyer.<\/em><\/p>\n

I start pacing back and forth, stopping periodically to look out onto the cold street through the small window panes.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m shivering. My feet and hands are numbing up. \u201cWhere the fuck is he?\u201d is all I can think.<\/em><\/p>\n

Twenty minutes have pass when he finally shows up. I can barely make out his silhouette through the grimy passenger side window of the dark gray car.<\/em><\/p>\n

It looks like its days have come and gone.. .<\/em><\/p>\n

Rust runs from one end to the other along the panels. It\u2019s a piece of shit. I\u2019m surprised it\u2019s even running, couldn\u2019t he have done better?<\/em><\/p>\n

He had pulled up to the curb in front of the building. I came out and ran up to the door, which strained and squealed as I yanked it open. <\/em><\/p>\n

I was expecting to feel the warmth of the car when I got in, but it was just as cold in the car as it was outside.<\/em><\/p>\n

There\u2019s a screwdriver handle sticking halfway out of the ignition. The interior is tarnished and shredded. All the windows have the same layer of grime throughout.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dude,I start complaining. My man, could you have gotten something with a heater that works.!?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI was stealing a car, not buying one,\u201d he says sharply, his eyes bloodshot and bulging, even though the car is ice cold, he\u2019s sweating. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019re there in 15 minutes. We drive around the block to scope out the surrounding area in case we can\u2019t use the car for a getaway. <\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019re near the 167th St. train station on Jerome Avenue. There\u2019s a small-park Two blocks away.<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s not big enough to hide in, but we could use the cover to make our way to the South side of the Grand Concourse if need be. We swing our way back to the front of the building. <\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019re lucky\u2014there\u2019s a spot just off the front of the entrance.<\/em><\/p>\n

We park. He turns off the engine and we sit in the car for a few minutes to get a feel for the street. It\u2019s quiet, except for that howling winter wind. If all goes right, it will be a quick getaway back to Melrose Avenue. <\/em><\/p>\n

We go over our plan once more. He insists on having the gun even though I had offered him the knife first.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI need that gun man,\u201d he says. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m the one that\u2019s fucking going to take the man. You\u2019ll be able to keep that bitch at bay with the knife.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cFine, fine,\u201d I say somewhat reluctantly. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cBut no one is to get hurt, do you hear me? At all, No one.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He smiles that smile again as he reaches for the door handle. He must\u2019ve done some Blow before because his eyes look, wide and crazier than usual while white saliva starts to built up in the corners of his mouth. <\/em><\/p>\n

I can smell him now. He hasn\u2019t showered in days.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI doubt they\u2019ll put up much of a fight at all,\u201d he says.<\/em><\/p>\n

Turns<\/i> off the engine leaving the screwdriver in the ignition. <\/em><\/p>\n

The clock on the dash says 3:15. It\u2019s time to do it, we\u2019re set.<\/em><\/p>\n

Walking<\/i> up to the building the door, it isn\u2019t locked. We quietly walk in and close the door behind us gently. The lobby of the building is spacious, but it reminds me of a sunken living room.<\/em><\/p>\n

The floor is checkered with old black-and-white tiles. The ceiling is high and adorned with huge bright chandeliers at the center.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m trying to take in as much detail as I can so the way out will be a quick exit. The elevators are directly to our front; the staircase is to the left. <\/em><\/p>\n

We walk towards the stairs quietly\u2014our footing is soft and deliberate all the way up. No one must hear us as we get to the 4th floor.<\/em><\/p>\n

There are four units on every floor, there is one\u00a0 closest to the stairs and furthest from the elevator.\u00a0 I go down to the landing between the 3rd and 4th floors while Eddie goes up between the 4th and the 5th. <\/em><\/p>\n

I have done nothing like this before. I\u2019m nervous about the whole thing. So much can go wrong, but it\u2019s too late for second thoughts.<\/em><\/p>\n

About 10 minutes go by and we hear the elevator coming up.<\/em><\/p>\n

They\u2019re right on schedule. Eddie comes down and I go up as we hear the hum of the ascending elevator. <\/em><\/p>\n

My heart pounds as I hear the elevator pause on our floor. We both wait until the door opens and then we’ll spring on them.<\/em><\/p>\n

Moments later the doors open. They\u2019re both dressed in party attire..<\/em><\/p>\n

She has on a mink fur coat with a silk scarf wrap around her neck. Her dress clings to her thin body, the keys of the apartment dangle from her right hand, while her left grips a black and gold clutch . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s wearing a fedora, a black suit and tie, a pink shirt, wing-tipped shoes, and a heavy overcoat with the collar pulled up around his neck to protect him from the cold..<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019re on them in seconds. Eddie grabs him by the throat and puts the gun to the side of his head. His fedora gets knocked off. <\/em><\/p>\n

The woman screams. In an instant, I have her by the throat with my left hand. With my right, I bring the knife to her face.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cShut the fuck up bitch or it won\u2019t be good for you!\u201d I yell at her repeatedly.<\/em><\/p>\n

I, have the knife right in her face, that\u2019s all she\u2019 sees. I can see her reflection in the 10 inch \u00a0blade as she whimpers. She\u2019s terrified.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/strong>Please don\u2019t cut my face, she says between cries”<\/em><\/p>\n

She drops her keys on the floor; I kick them across the hall.<\/em><\/p>\n

Eddie has the man against the elevator door. The man is very calm, or at least he seems a lot calmer than the woman.<\/em><\/p>\n

Too me, he looks like he\u2019s very surprised that this is happening to him..<\/em><\/p>\n

Eddie tells him to take everything out of his pockets. He stretches out his left hand. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cGive me everything!<\/em><\/p>\n

Eddie yells, his crazy eyes bulging, spit flying from his mouth. <\/em><\/p>\n

Whatever dope and money you have\u2014give it up now.!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m going to search you mother fucker.!<\/em><\/p>\n

If I find you\u2019ve got something hidden, I\u2019ll shoot this bitch in the face! \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The woman instantly starts to cry more hysterically.<\/em><\/p>\n

I tighten my grip around her throat, her eyes fill with fright<\/em><\/p>\n

I whisper in her ear she needs to shut the fuck up.<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t like what I\u2019m doing here. I\u2019m worrying that Eddie might shoot them both. I want to get going.<\/em><\/p>\n

Within a few more moments the man has emptied his pockets and Eddie is stuffing his left jacket pocket with wads of cash and small glossy plastic bags of dope.<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s still holding the gun to the man\u2019s head with his right hand. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s it! That\u2019s all I\u2019ve got!\u201d the man yells.<\/em><\/p>\n

Eddie does a quick pat down and looks over at me and screams \u201cGO.!\u201d\u2014the magic word to run out to the car. <\/em><\/p>\n

I turn and run down the stairs, glancing back at Eddie, he suddenly starts pistol-whipping the man, <\/em>hitting him with three quick successions of the gun barrel across the side of his head and face. <\/em><\/p>\n

The screams are loud as I reach the 3rd floor landing. I am racing down the stairs, taking the steps three at a time.<\/em><\/p>\n

I hear Eddie, he\u2019s just one floor behind me, laughing loudly as he’s running down’ ..<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m in the lobby and running towards the door when my sixth sense tells me to look back. <\/em><\/p>\n

I see Eddie come off the stairs and see the gun come up from his right side.<\/em><\/p>\n

As the gun fires\u2014at that very instant\u2014I fall forward. I had forgotten about the sunken floor in the lobby and I missed that step.<\/em><\/p>\n

The bullet misses me by centimeters.<\/em><\/p>\n

It hits one of doors in the wrought iron frame, shattering the glass. Just as he reaches me, I spring to my feet quickly enough to jump up and thrust my knife up to his neck. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou tried to kill me motherfucker!!\u201d I scream. <\/em><\/p>\n

My body is shaking but the hand pressing the knife against his throat is steady.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo dude, I didn\u2019t! It just went off! I swear!\u201d he screams. \u201cCome on, let\u2019s get the fuck out of here!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

That mother fucker tried to kill me, it\u2019s as simple as that. If it had not been for the fact that I didn\u2019t see the step down into the sunken lobby, I would\u2019ve gotten one right to the back of my head.<\/em><\/p>\n

I let him go and we dash to the car. We peel out. This time, the screeching tires are the only sound in the night. We drive without talking.<\/em><\/p>\n

I keep wondering if he\u2019s going to shoot me when we pull up.<\/em><\/p>\n

I grip the knife handle in my jacket. If he makes a move to shoot me, I\u2019ll somehow need to be quick enough to plunge it into his chest before he can pull the trigger.<\/em><\/p>\n

I might have the advantage: He\u2019s driving and the steering wheel might be enough of an obstruction.<\/em><\/p>\n

We pull up in front of my mother\u2019s building 15 minutes later. It\u2019s almost 4:00 AM and the streets are deserted in the South Bronx. Eddie turns off the engine and kills the lights.<\/em><\/p>\n

I need to relax\u2014my life might depend on it.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cGet out of the car,\u201d he says calmly.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about my cut?\u201d I ask.<\/em><\/p>\n

Suddenly, the gun is in my face. His bloodshot eyes are crazier than ever. His lips are cracked and the white saliva is back in the corner of his mouth. He doesn\u2019t waiver. <\/em><\/p>\n

‘He tells me again to get out.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

At that moment, I remember that he\u2019s wanted for a double homicide in Alabama. But I\u2019m desperate for the money.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI need my cut man,\u201d I say, staring at him dead on. I don\u2019t blink. I say it again. \u201cI need my cut.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He goes into his left side pocket, crumbled bills with clear glossy envelopes (I assumed was heroin) appear in his hand. He puts the gun on his lap and starts to count the money.<\/em><\/p>\n

As he\u2019s counting, I think that this might be my chance to kill him, but I think about it too long. The moment passes. He looks up at me and hands me five twenties.<\/em><\/p>\n

I look down to recount the money.<\/em><\/p>\n

When I look up, the gun is raised again, just inches from my face. I hear it cock.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m looking at him down the barrel of the gun.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c Get the fuck out.! \u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

As I go to open the door, he says,<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cFor what it\u2019s worth, that dude knows me, he\u2019s Mob, Connected.<\/em><\/p>\n

You\u2019d better lie low because they\u2019re going to come looking for us.<\/em><\/p>\n

And they won\u2019t wait long.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter: Two <\/strong><\/em><\/span>Escape:<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

“I fear death. <\/b><\/i><\/span>I think I must learn to <\/b>romanticize<\/b><\/span> death so I can cope with its <\/b>brutal<\/b><\/span> irreversible numbness.” <\/b><\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Lukhman Pambra..<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

I standing alongside the car as it pulls away. The rear lights go up Melrose Avenue they take a right on 158th Street, vanishing around the turn.<\/em><\/p>\n

I stood there frozen in the moment my right hand shove into my pocket holding the Five Twenties.<\/em><\/p>\n

The ghetto taught me, awareness of my environment., My surroundings require me to be aware of the eminent possibility of violence. I knew what I would do, before it happened. It had eliminated my fear of not living forever.,\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Add to that, the hard lesson I\u2019ve learned here tonight is, I must<\/span><\/span> become more proficient at what I do, with fewer tools. . . with t<\/em>he opportunity to finally spit the ghetto out of my mouth: ‘knowing escape\u00a0is in my pocket’.,<\/em><\/p>\n

My mind clicks over. If I had known they were connected, I would not have done this take-down tonight, Eddie had handed me a death sentence. <\/em><\/p>\n

Maybe the reason he shot at me in the building lobby was to keep me from giving him up if they caught up to me first?<\/em><\/p>\n

The adrenaline rush is gone, it feels like the temperature has dropped. The chill is back in my body, as walk over to the building going into the foyer to recount the five twenties.<\/em><\/p>\n

Not enough to do much with. I have to weigh my options or I\u2019ll be fucked again. My mind is racing, what am I going to do? Where will I go?<\/em><\/p>\n

Suddenly I remember borrowing the gun from Flaco \u2014 I promised to return it with a $50.00 surcharge, except Eddie has it. <\/em><\/p>\n

Getting it back will not happen. I must pay Flaco, the full price of the gun, $200.00 dollars.<\/em><\/p>\n

I have to get lost before sunrise. . . <\/em><\/p>\n

They won\u2019t wait to come looking for us. Eddie has really fucked me!<\/em><\/p>\n

Realizing I still have the knife in my jacket, my mind screams, \u201cGet rid of it!\u201d I step out of the foyer, into the howling wind and glance up and down the avenue to make sure it\u2019s all clear.<\/em><\/p>\n

I take a right and I hug the building; walking alongside of it, towards the alley making taking right into it.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I go over to some garbage cans, lift the cover off one and shove the knife deep into bottom side of it, shuffling the trash on top around.<\/em><\/p>\n

My hands feel like icicles as I re-cover the can, pushing the lid down tight. I shove my hands into my jacket pockets walk back towards the street.<\/em><\/p>\n

Though my mind is still racing. It dawns on me in that garbage filled alley., The only place I can go and be invisible is Puerto Rico \u2014 my Aunt\u2019s family is my only option or I\u2019ll surely be dead within 48 hours?<\/em><\/p>\n

As I step out of the alley, my legs control my mind. They carry me out of the ally to the edge of the sidewalk. I step off the curb and stand there between two parked cars. I look up and down Melrose Avenue.<\/em><\/p>\n

How do I get away? As I look left, towards 161st Street, I see a yellow cab take a right onto Melrose Ave.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the fuck is a Checker doing here? <\/em><\/p>\n

A drop-off maybe?<\/em><\/p>\n

It cruises towards me. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Stepping out from the two parked cars, I watch the taxi roll slowly down the avenue. I realize I stretch my arm out above me. I\u2019m hailing it.<\/em><\/p>\n

As it slowly pulls up to me, stopping\u00a0besides me. I lean into the passenger window, which is cracked open just two inches.<\/em><\/p>\n

I feel the warmth of the airflow-soothing my face.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere are you going.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The airport\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou have money,\u201d he says with a curt smile.<\/em><\/p>\n

I pull from my pocket the five twenties and flash him the money:<\/em><\/p>\n

The door clicks open. <\/em><\/p>\n

As I get into the cab, the warmth within, immediately eases the feelings of <\/em>distress in me.,<\/i><\/p>\n

Looking back at me through the rear-view mirror-asking:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhich one \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

I snap back.,<\/em><\/p>\n

The fucking airport man!<\/em><\/p>\n

I am still on edge from the events of the night.<\/em><\/p>\n

He glares back at me with a sideways stare. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhich\u2026 ‘One.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He doesn\u2019t seem to be entertained.<\/em><\/p>\n

Idlewild- PAN-AM.<\/em><\/p>\n

Keeping his eyes glued on me through the rear-view mirror, he brings his hand up to the meter turning on the inline odometer. As we pull away, I vanish into the night from the South Bronx. . .\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

We don\u2019t speak on the way. I can tell he doesn\u2019t want to know what I\u2019ve been up to..<\/em><\/p>\n

The cab pulls into the departure ramp 45 minutes later. It\u2019s almost 5:00 AM. The fare is $3.50. I hand him one twenty and he gives me back the change.<\/em><\/p>\n

I give him a $1.50 tip; I pocket the remaining $15.00-quickly bolt from the cab and run into the terminal. I step through the doors and come to a dead stop at the entrance.<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s virtually empty and eerily quiet. <\/em><\/p>\n

As in Marcel Proust\u2019s novel, \u201cSwann\u2019s Way: In Search of Lost Time.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The clock that hung above the counter drew me in like the the madeleine cookie that brings forth his ability to capture the subtlest nuances of human emotions \u00a0and the slightest variations of the mind and the soul<\/em><\/p>\n

A rush of memories flood my mind. Though I\u2019m stepping through the doors of the Pan-Am-entrance, I am also stepping into my past. <\/em><\/p>\n

Now years later, I prepared to make the journey back.<\/em><\/p>\n

I quickly looked for someone behind the few airline counters that stood before me. They seemed to stretch down the length of the terminal. <\/em><\/p>\n

Behind the PAN-AM counter were three ticket agents \u2014 two men and a woman \u2014 they\u2019re sipping coffee as the sun rise, breaking through the towering windows.<\/em><\/p>\n

The woman looked like a Latina \u2014 deep brown hair, amber eyes, red lipstick that makes her olive complexion shine with a tint of gold. I like her smile. I gravitate towards her.<\/em><\/p>\n

I realize myself: I\u2019m unkempt, my clothing looks tattered and surely must smell like the homeless person I look like.?<\/em><\/p>\n

I step up to the counter, and she steps back slightly.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cChecking in sir?\u201d she asks in a light tone.<\/em><\/p>\n

I look at her quizzically. Other than my time in the Army, this is my first time in an airport since I came to New York all those years ago.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo miss, I say, looking down at my feet, a little embarrassed. I want to go to Puerto Rico on the next flight. How much is it?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

She looks me up and down and smiles with added empathy in her eyes.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOne moment please,\u201d she says as she starts to tap on her keyboard.\u00a0\u201cThe earliest flight is leaving 7:30 am, that\u2019s almost 3 hours from now.<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a nonstop flight to Puerto Rico, arriving in San Juan at 11:00 this morning. Can I book you on that flight?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I swallow hard, my throat is dry. \u201cHow much is it?\u201d .\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThat would be $99.50 one way, do you want me to book you on that flight?\u201d she asks again.<\/em><\/p>\n

I reach into my pocket and count what I have left \u2014 $95.00. I put it on the counter and push the money towards her. She looks down at the money on the counter.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIt looks like you\u2019re a bit short. It\u2019s $99.50.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s all I have,\u201d I say, as a pang of fear flashes across my face.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry. It\u2019s it $99.50,\u201d she says.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0I quickly reply with a dry rasping voice as my eyes swell with tears.<\/em><\/p>\n

Please! if I don\u2019t leave on that\u00a0<\/em>flight, I’ll never be able to leave New York again, it’s a matter of life and death!<\/i><\/p>\n

Someone must be watching out for me:<\/em><\/p>\n

She says:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll give you the difference so you can get home.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

It would be a few years before I come back to New York. I would not wait for death, I\u2019ll pull it back together by becoming someone else; by leaving that stranger behind me.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

” So I hoped.,<\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter: 3 <\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

My \u00a0Earliest \u00a0Memory, Is \u00a0Terror . . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWords have no power to\u00a0<\/b>impress<\/b>\u00a0the mind without the exquisite horror of\u00a0<\/b>their\u00a0<\/b>reality\u201d<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Edgar<\/i><\/b><\/span>\u00a0Allan Poe\u201d<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

My return to the Island, starts me thinking about who will I reach out to? How will, I’ become invisible? Whom; am I going to reach-out to?\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

With only three choices the odds are not good: <\/em><\/p>\n

1st. ‘Best choice: My Aunt? <\/em><\/p>\n

2nd. least Worst:<\/em><\/p>\n

My half brother and Uncles, Aunts, who, all try to kidnap me and Louis as children. <\/em><\/p>\n

“There’s a lot of animosity there! <\/em><\/p>\n

Choice number:<\/em> 3. The worst!<\/em><\/p>\n

‘The Street.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

‘Everything I’ve learn has to come into play now, or it’s my ass.,<\/em><\/p>\n

I start thinking <\/em>of growing up on the Island and my first\u00a0memory as a child. <\/em><\/p>\n

Growing-up my home was not’ like most homes, most people grow up in. Never mind the size’\u2014it was built of weathered boards, with a zinc sheet metal roof that it rested on wooden\u00a0pillars to prevent it from shifting when sheets of water came down during the Puerto Rican rain season.<\/em><\/p>\n

It was a 400-square-foot tiny one room structure that had a porch with an overhang that was made out of plywood planks, the front door had a makeshift screen to keep the mosquitoes and bugs out.<\/em><\/p>\n

My father built this blue and white house with its crooked roof on an eighth of an acre of land at the edge of a sugarcane field for his new bride, my mother.<\/em><\/p>\n

There was no front yard, just a stretch of black dirt that went out to the beginning of the sugarcane fields. The air was sweet with the smell of mango\u2019s, thanks to the grove to the right of the sugar cane field.<\/em><\/p>\n

When the sun would fall around us and the moon would rise into the sky, we were surrounded by the dim light of lanterns or candles\u2014electricity was a utility reserved for the rich.<\/em><\/p>\n

We were dirt poor and lived in total impoverishment, but at almost 4-years-old, who knew. All I knew was that in this home, we were happy.<\/em><\/p>\n

My father was born and raised in Spain. Before my mother, he was married to a Dominican woman and had three children. He was somewhat of a big man\u2014about 230 lbs and 6’5″feet tall, with light green eyes. He always had a full head of white hair.<\/em><\/p>\n

He was 24 years older than my mother\u2014when they eloped, she was just 20-years-old, and a real beauty with eyes of amber and jet black hair to her waist.<\/em><\/p>\n

She had already had a son, my half brother Johnny, who was almost 4-years-old when she met my father.<\/em><\/p>\n

My mother was born on New Year\u2019s day in 1914. She was born \u201cporpa\u201d and went through life with only a second grade education.<\/em><\/p>\n

She could barely write her own name, never mind read. She was from southern Puerto Rico, from the town of Sabana Grande.<\/em><\/p>\n

She was the youngest of 10, and was among the luckiest\u2014eight of her siblings had succumb to the deadly influenza of the early 20th century.<\/em><\/p>\n

Her and her sister were called the socorros\u2014the soul survivors.<\/em><\/p>\n

When I was an adult, she told me that when she was 7-years-old she was pulled out of school and put to work on a coffee plantation, a place that she would call home until her mid teens. <\/em><\/p>\n

She was the youngest at the coffee mill that was on the outskirts of the plantation.<\/em><\/p>\n

Everyday she would get up to grind the beans to take to the market at 5:00 AM and work until 3:00 PM. <\/em><\/p>\n

When she got older, she was introduced to the kitchen. A shifted, that demanded her time from 4:00 PM to 7:00 PM.<\/em><\/p>\n

She did this until her mother married her off on her 15th birthday for a dowry of $10.00 and a goat. She went off to live on a sugarcane plantation with her first husband, and bore him a son.<\/em><\/p>\n

My half brother Johnny. <\/em><\/p>\n

Just three years later at the age of 18, she was introduce to the man that would be my father. A secret affair ensued . . .\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Unhappy, she ran off with my father at the age of 20. Over the next few years she bore him two sons, me and my brother Louie.<\/em><\/p>\n

As a toddler I had reddish hair and dark green eyes, with a light olive complexion. Louie had jet black hair and amber eyes like my mother, also with a light olive complexion. <\/em><\/p>\n

Louie and I look more like my father, whose ancestors were of Spanish heritage.<\/em><\/p>\n

Johnny was darker in hair and eyes, and he had a darker olive complexion, All I knew of his father was his first name, \u201cMarin,\u201d a field hand or laborer of some kind.<\/em><\/p>\n

My father had three grown children from his first marriage, Manny and Juan. Both were tall, dark, and handsome Latino men when I meet them both some years later. <\/em><\/p>\n

My father also had a daughter who I have never met, nor knew her name\u2014she was kept secret and refused to acknowledge ‘Us.<\/em><\/p>\n

He and his first wife had ran off to the Dominican Republic and went into hiding to escape the U.S. government\u2019s World War 1 draft.<\/em><\/p>\n

While visiting family in Sabana Grande in 1934, my father met my mother. He courted her for almost Two years, on his bi-monthly visits, before she left her husband and ran of, with my father.<\/em><\/p>\n

It was a scandal among both families and in the Latino\u00a0community and other social circles because of their age difference.<\/em><\/p>\n

What I knew of either of my grandparents was that my mother\u2019s father was a revolutionary who rode a white horse and was shot down during the rebellion of Lares by the Spanish colonial system\u00a0in the mid-19th century.<\/em><\/p>\n

I never met my grandparents on either side.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

From what I understood, my mother saw her mother one last time to say goodbye before we migrated\u00a0to the United States. She never returned to Puerto Rico or saw her again.<\/em><\/p>\n

I was almost 4-years-old and Louie was 2 1\/2-years-old at the time of the sugar cane incident, while Johnny was about seven years old.,<\/em><\/p>\n

This is how I remember my earliest memory, a memory filled with terror <\/em>at almost 4 year old:<\/em><\/p>\n

‘One hot summer morning my Mother tells my brother Johnny to go over to the mango grove and pick some mangos for her. My brother Louie and\u00a0 I’ tag-along to the grove that sat next to the sugar cane field.<\/em><\/p>\n

The heat of the sun shone on our faces as we walked barefoot through the lanes of the sugarcane:<\/em> I could hear the crunching sound of trampled sugarcane under our bare feet among the cut stalks, as the high humidity clung to our skin..<\/em><\/p>\n

Johnny was ahead of us by a good five paces as we reached the edge of the sugarcane field.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThe dogs! The dogs are coming! The dogs are coming!\u201d he screams in a panicked that cuts through the air.<\/em><\/p>\n

He took off towards us into a full sprint, screaming \u201crun, run, Carlito’! Run Louis! Run the dogs are coming!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Terror infused our soul as \u00a0children.<\/em><\/p>\n

As we ran back towards the safety of the house, I looked behind to get a glimpse and I saw the pack for a brief moment, moving swiftly and stealthy through the cut stalks of the sugarcane field.,<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe are being hunted!\u201d Johnny screams with such terror and fright that we are all engulfed in the wave of horror within a matter of seconds.<\/em><\/p>\n

As we ran back towards the house behind Johnny, Louie is crying and screaming \u201cMami! Mami!\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

I glance up as I’m dragging\u00a0Louie by his hand, who seems to be getting heavier to drag by the second.<\/em><\/p>\n

I see our mother standing on our porch in the distance, her arm outstretched\u00a0as her scream comes piercing through the air. She\u2019s too far to save us, to run and comfort us.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m screaming at Johnny not to leave us behind, while pulling Louie by his hand alongside me as fast as my feet can carry me.<\/em><\/p>\n

But we\u2019re not fast enough.<\/em><\/p>\n

As I\u00a0 look towards my left I notice that the biggest dog\u2014a dark beast with red and brown hair and a large snout, showing its snarling white teeth\u2014begins to pick up speed.<\/em><\/p>\n

The dog gains speed and leaps into the air, just as a pop of thunder rings out across the field. Blood squirts from Johnny\u2019s neck as the dog\u2019s belly gushes out in a massive burst.<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019re all covered in the warm red liquid.. .<\/em><\/p>\n

I turn to my left to see, where the sound of the thunder had come from.<\/em><\/p>\n

Seeing my father\u2014 Standing a short distance to the left of me and Louie, his gun pointed straight out from his raised right arm. <\/em><\/p>\n

He had shot at the dog, at the very moment that it had leap into the air.,<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Not soon enough to keep it, from ripping at his throat, by sinking it\u2019s teeth \u00a0into the back of his neck, just missing his carotid artery by centimeters.,<\/em><\/p>\n

My mother appears seconds later, gripping a few kitchen towels so tight that her knuckles are white. She wraps them around Johnny\u2019s neck.<\/em><\/p>\n

Tears and screams are pouring out into the field. The rest of the dogs, had scatter in all directions towards the mango grove.<\/em><\/p>\n

While the sun bakes our back, the air is sweet with the smell of mangoes and blood.<\/em><\/p>\n

My father takes Johnny to the local country medicine practitioner\u2014a doctor of some kind by the name of Do\u00f1a Carmen. <\/em><\/p>\n

She stitches his skin together with a needle and fishing line and no pain medication.<\/em><\/p>\n

That same day, my father and a few of the other farm hands, tracked the dogs down. The hunters become the hunted, and are executed for their crimes. <\/em><\/p>\n

Some were shot, while others were strung up for good measure and left to die hanging from the trees.<\/em><\/p>\n

I later learned that the wild dogs had been attacking the chickens and other small farm animals for months.The farmers had had enough. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Johnny will have that scar until his death.<\/em><\/p>\n

Five Twenties . . . \u00a0<\/strong>Part \u00a0Two.\u2019<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Chapter: 4<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Vanishing Act\u00a0 . . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201d People will stare. Make it worth their while\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Harry Winston . . .\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

During the fight I decided it, would be best to stick to my plan to call my Aunt Socorro when I arrive in Puerto Rico: She is the only one of the family with any connection to me.,<\/em><\/p>\n

I arriving\u00a0at San Juan International Airport late morning. I\u2019m tired, dirty, scare, hungry, probably smell like I\u2019ve been living on the streets and look it.,<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

‘Paranoid, anxious about the people that will be looking for me? <\/em><\/p>\n

How long will they look? <\/em><\/p>\n

‘I head over to the departing flight terminal to panhandle.<\/em><\/p>\n

All the tourist are tan and happy there.,<\/em><\/p>\n

Within 30 minutes I have $5.00 dollars. I go back into the arrival terminal; get something to eat. Right after I\u2019m at the phone-bank calling information.<\/em><\/p>\n

Aunt Socorro\u2019 number in the County of Bayamon is unlisted. <\/em><\/p>\n

Instant Bummer.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Not being able connect with her; I have to try to connect to my Half Brother Manny.<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s not a choice; ‘But he is my only choice. In spite of the of major apprehension and animosity just under my skin towards him . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He’s a Hairdresser: <\/em><\/p>\n

I try to remember the salon name.? Manny\u2019s salon,? \u00a0Manny\u2019s Beauty Parlor.?\u00a0 Maybe.? \u00a0Or something along those lines .?<\/em><\/p>\n

Minutes later, the operator connects me.<\/em><\/p>\n

His Salon is in the exclusive Condado area, on Park \u00a0Avenue off\u00a0 Ashford Boulevard. Where Soaring Condos stand alongside-Waterfront Hotels that line-up side by side. . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

The phone rings on the other end\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m nervous. I haven\u2019t spoken to him since he came with Police-in-tow to remove me from my Mother\u2019s Custody some ten or more years’ ago . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We were told of his success through the family grapevine, specifically\u2019 from our aunt when she visited with Us in the Bronx.<\/em><\/p>\n

The receptionist answers the phone, in a soft feminine voice . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cGood afternoon’, Salon Manual, this is Marisol how may I help you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Marisol \u201d Can I speak with Manny please.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u2019m sorry he\u2019s with a client, may I take a message, or if \u00a0you would like to schedule an appointment with him.? \u00a0I can do that for you.\u201d?<\/em><\/p>\n

This is his brother Carlito\u201d \u00a0from New York City. I need to speak with him, it\u2019s urgent\u2019 ..<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cPlease hold a moment\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

A few moments later Manny gets on the \u00a0phone.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c Carlito\u201d.? \u00a0He sounds surprise\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

Yeah \u2018<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Carlito \u201c.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Yeah it\u2019s me\u2019.!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you .? Where are you.? \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m good. . . \u00a0 I\u2019m at the airport, here in Puerto \u00a0Rico\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018There\u2019s what seems to me a long pause at the other end . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Like that needed to sink in . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you serious.?<\/em><\/p>\n

What are you doing here in Puerto \u00a0Rico.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018His voice showing concern. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

My reply is ridiculously nonchalant as possible ..<\/em><\/p>\n

I needed to get out of the Bronx due to some personal life issues, so I decided to come to Puerto Rico to get a clearer perspective on how to handle them.?<\/em><\/p>\n

“Moving the conversation right along, from further explanation’\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I was wondering if you could give me, Tia Socorro\u2019s phone number-adding<\/em><\/p>\n

I need a place to stay\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d I can\u2019t believe it\u2019s you !!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah, I\u2019m here.!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cMy god I haven\u2019t seen you in years.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Yeah, I thought it was time for a change in my environment ,<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018So I need, Tia\u2019 Socorro\u2019s phone Number\u2019 please ? . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201dForget that! I\u2019ll come and pick you up, give me 45 minutes to finish-up with my client and I\u2019ll be right over. <\/em><\/p>\n

What do you look like these \u00a0days\u201d.?<\/em><\/p>\n

I give off a nervous laugh:<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 look like Jesus Christ, without the Stigmata; below the shoulder, down the middle of my back Hair, a full- beard, tattered clothing.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018You can\u2019t miss me in a crowd:\u00a0you\u2019d-be-staring\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I follow through with What kind of car to you drive .? <\/em><\/p>\n

Wanting to get off my appearance<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI have a small car an MG, you know, a MiG, it\u2019s Blue\u2019 with a White Racing \u00a0Stripe down the middle. I\u2019ll be there soon, wait for me,stay there, I\u2019ll be right over within 45 minutes\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Pick me up at arrivals.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cStay there\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I will:<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m thinking where else am I going to go.? \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

While I\u2019m waiting: I give some thought to how he,will react when I tell him I\u2019m running from Mobsters, Drug & Gun Dealers; the cop\u2019s, the stolen car.!<\/em><\/p>\n

If anyone is even looking for the piece of junk\u2019 .? \u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I wonder how it\u2019s going to go.?<\/em><\/p>\n

What will I\u2019 do if it doesn\u2019t go.? \u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m fuck\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

An hour later I see the Blue MG with it\u2019s White Racing Stripe down the middle come around the arrivals ramp\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I wave at him, he’s smiling broadly, as he pulls up to the curb. (The car is mint) Jumps-out over the side without opening the door hugs, kisses me on both\u00a0 cheeks a few times.<\/em><\/p>\n

My apprehension and animosity falls by the wayside\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSo how are you.? You don\u2019t look good\u201d \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

( Nothing like pointing out the obvious\u2019 )<\/em><\/p>\n

I know, it\u2019s a long story \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s get you back to my place you can tell me all about it on the way; first will stop at the Salon I\u2019ll close out \u201d \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Where are your Bags\u201d.?<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t have any . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He Looks at me confusingly and doesn\u2019t seem to believe it. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 Don\u2019t have any Bro.!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cCome on get in, people are staring at us” \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Fuck\u2019em\u00a0 . . . \u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Coming into The Condado, towering palm trees line the avenue. Gleaming white High-Rises-Condos, Hotels dominate the boulevard, silhouette of the palm trees fills the empty Blue sky above Ashford . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

An hour later we\u2019re on our way to pick-up Highway One which connects to Rio Piedras.<\/em><\/p>\n

We head Southwest.’<\/em><\/p>\n

The Tropical Mountain Jungles hangs as a backdrop in the distance.The air sweetens as we’re’ headed further South of San Juan\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

With an edge of sarcasm he says to me \u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSo talk to me, tell me about these personal life issues\u2019 that sound like a lot of bull-shit: No offense \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

None taken\u2019 . . . \u00a0I\u2019m not sure if you\u2019d want to hear it .?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201dYes I do what to hear it-just tell it \u201d . . .\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I had started with my Stitch in the Army, my inability to find work when I got back to the Bronx-that would lead to a solid job. Being unable to get back into school. How all that help cause my downfall into the street.<\/em><\/p>\n

Saying to him, I know none of it sounds good, but I did not have many options. I had to do what I needed to do, to survive on the street \u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve realize, I\u2019 haven\u2019t accomplished much of anything positive at this point.I’m hoping that\u2019s all going to change?. . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you reach out to me or the family.? Why did you wait till things had gotten so bad\u201d.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Simple\u2019 After the last time I saw you; what.? Ten-years ago.? \u00a0The last memory I had \u00a0of you\u2019 was, \u2018You showing \u00a0up at my mother\u2019s apartment in the middle of the night with Cop\u2019s. !!<\/em><\/p>\n

That didn\u2019t exactly inspire me. The rest of the family wouldn\u2019t had been able to help me or us\u2019.! \u00a0They\u2019re the ones we were hiding\u00a0 from.! \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Call them.? <\/em><\/p>\n

‘Really?<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think so’ . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

After that night they never indicated that they could or would or even offer to help.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cBut, your mother or you\u2019 never ask, did \u00a0you.\u201d .?<\/em><\/p>\n

We \u00a0felt we were alone, that you-all had turn your backs on us. It felt like that anyway\u2019\u2026 When Tia \u00a0Socorro was visiting over the years, she visited with us.’\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

All she would say was, \u201cSend the boys back with me.\u201d Not come back with us. ‘She was good to us nonetheless with support and monies..<\/em><\/p>\n

Anyway I\u2019ve \u00a0gotten myself \u00a0into some heavy trouble back in the Bronx That\u2019s why I\u2019m here to hide-out\u2019\u2026 He pulls the car over onto the shoulder of the road, throws it into neutral \u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Faces me in a very serious voice he say:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAre we going\u00a0to need a lawyer\u201d.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018No, that would not help at all \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201dWhy Not.? \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I give him, a soft version of the take down from the night before, leveling-out some of the violent details or being shoot at\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

‘Within-a-2-minute span, he starts making facial expressions that indicate disbelieve, moments of disgust,combine with back and forth head shaking. .<\/em><\/p>\n

Ending with the drug dealers connections to the Mob, that being the why\u2019 I\u2019 had to flee from the Bronx!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>He yells-out!\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHoly shit! are you \u201cFUCKING \u00a0NUTS.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Who knows you\u2019re here\u201d.??<\/em><\/p>\n

No one, not even Mom. No one knows I had family on the Island.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll need to call her and let her know where I am, as soon as I can.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, Okay . . . When we\u2019 get back to my place you\u2019ll call \u00a0her; then you need to take a shower. \u2018You smell \u00a0\u2026 \u00a0(Laughingly) \u00a0I\u2019ll order Us’ something to eat.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I continue telling him some of \u00a0the previous mis-adventures of the family. Johnny goes into the Air-Force. \u2018Disappeared.<\/em><\/p>\n

Louie\u2019s issues adjusting to life in general and finally leaving for the Marine Corp. My mother\u2019s continuous struggle of making ends meet, still happy to be where she is.?<\/em><\/p>\n

45 minutes later we arrive at a gated community in an upper-middle-class subsection of \u00a0Rio Piedras, 20 minutes from it\u2019s downtown. We\u2019re stopped at the Gated \u00a0Front Entrance. He\u2019s welcome by the guard by, Mr. Manolo. Is waved through. I\u2019m \u00a0in amazement. . . \u00a0After a few moments he tells me his house is around the next turn.<\/em><\/p>\n

The \u00a0place is another world far from the rooftop and streets of\u00a0 he South Bronx. Palm tree lined streets stand guard in front of\u00a0 Gated \u00a0Homes sprawl out along them.<\/em><\/p>\n

Pulling up to his Ranch Style House; it\u2019s as lavish as the others.<\/em><\/p>\n

The scheme of the house immediately grabbed you with It\u2019s tropical setting: Stark White Walls, Terracotta Tile Roof. The landscape is dotted with Tropical flowering bushes, Plants.<\/em><\/p>\n

We head in through the side door, into a vaulted Ceiling Open-Floor Room. It encompasses a dining table with a Caribbean style kitchen just outside the sitting area.The Back Patio is like an enclosed Tropical Lagoon,Topped’ with a blue sky.<\/em><\/p>\n

A few hammocks are strung from overhanging Palm Trees. Small Lounge Tables and Chaises surround the ingrown pool. An ingrown Barbecue Fire-Pit,with an above ground\u00a0grill, while the Jacuzzi is right off the back entrance of the house bye the Bar \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

A large hedge fence of thick,Tropical Bushes\/ Plants offers total \u00a0privacy from \u00a0the neighbors. . . \u00a0I sit at the Bar with its Straw-Palm-Tree Overhang \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

He goes behind it, pulls a couple of beers from a fridge under the counter Wet Bar, pop\u2019s the top\u2019s,we toast.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d I\u2019ll order some food, you can call your Mother. Please take a shower before we talk and eat. You\u2019ll tell me more.? \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

We spend the rest of the weekend catching up on family history and our personal lives. I tell him a big chunk of mine and my family\u2019s life. Two days later, he cuts my hair and I’ shave off the beard.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

He takes me shopping for all the necessity that I need to be out in public, as he put it. Over the next few days I start to feel like the me, I\u2019 was after I had left the Army..<\/em><\/p>\n

At the end of the week he asks me:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Do you want to stay with Me\u2019 for a while or leave .?<\/em><\/p>\n

It would be No-problem. I would be happy to help you get back on your feet. Otherwise I\u2019ll call Tia Socorro\u2019 and have her pick you up or I can bring you over to her in Bayamon. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

But know that she\u2019s running a household, as your cousins, are still living home while they finish-off their senior college year; That situation may not be a good fit for you\u201d .?<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 humbly accept his offer..<\/em><\/p>\n

A few weeks pass and I can\u2019t believe how well I look for a borderline alcoholic \/ pothead. During those first few weeks, my mind started to defog. <\/em><\/p>\n

The withdrawals are minuscule. I decided I would only drink socially.<\/em><\/p>\n

Wanting to reconnect with other family members some I hadn\u2019t seen since I was a boy, I reach out to m<\/em>y cousins Victor & Hilda who were born a year or two apart from me and Louie; so the bond was strong when we were together all those years ago in New York\u00a0 City. I wanted to rekindle that bond . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

One evening after dinner, Manny\u2019 wants to have a talk,he starts by asking:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cCarlito how are you \u00a0feeling about your situation\u201d?<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m happy, why.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not feeling like you want to go back to the Bronx\u201d.?<\/em><\/p>\n

No.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Absolutely Not.!<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m thinking: Certainly they haven’t not stop looking for me or Eddie, if they haven’t found him, it’s only been 3 weeks.?<\/em><\/p>\n

If they have already found him, he’s dead.,\u00a0 et.?<\/em><\/p>\n

If they haven’t.?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

‘Then, they\u2019re still looking for me too’ . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Manny:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Great, I\u2019m happy to hear that. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Let me ask you. <\/em><\/p>\n

Have you given any thought to what you want to do.?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

‘If you\u2019re planning on staying on in Puerto Rico .? \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0I’ would like to look at some Job options? <\/em><\/p>\n

Before I make the decision of staying on in Puerto Rico’ .?\u00a0 . \u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

As Manny, drifts back into the living room to answer the phone: I begin assessing my situation.<\/em> Reflecting on where I\u2019ve been and where I’ am’\u00a0 \u2026 \u00a0Nothing was worse than my childhood; even the recent events of the last two and a-half years weren\u2019t as bad. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter: 5<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u2018\u00a0<\/b>A New World, A New Terror\u00a0 . . .<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe basis of optimism is\u00a0<\/b>sheer<\/b>\u00a0terror\u201d<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Mark Twain<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Continuing<\/i> to reflect on my life, the memory that still stay with me, was when at almost five years old, was, of Louie and I’<\/em> running-up and down along aisles of seats. Johnny wouldn\u2019t\u00a0 join us \u2014 even at Eight he was embarrassed.<\/em><\/p>\n

That year brought so many firsts: Louie and I got our first pair of shoes. We rode in a car, on the \u00a0way to the Airport. We arrived at our new home in Miami \u2014<\/em><\/p>\n

It was as big as a \u00a0palace, with four separate rooms, a kitchen, a large bathroom with running water where we would bathe in a tub for the\u00a0first time. Everything was new to our minds\u2019 eyes.<\/em><\/p>\n

My mother had never left her hometown or went farther than a few miles from where she grew up.<\/em><\/p>\n

Except for when she gave birth to me in an apartment in Old San Juan that was on the corner of\u00a0 La Calle Luna & La \u00a0Calle Sol. My father and my uncle brought her to the hospital after my birth.<\/em><\/p>\n

It was the only time she had ever been at a hospital and the only time she had \u00a0ever left \u00a0the countryside. Both Johnny, Louie and my mother were all born on plantations with a midwife to assist in their births.<\/em><\/p>\n

Having been living in Miami for almost a year. My father comes home one day, tells my mother that we were \u00a0headed to New York City.\u2019 He had landed a new job, as a Sous Chef, at the Hilton Hotel on 6th Avenue.<\/em><\/p>\n

We had heard the adults talk about this place. It sounded like it was a magical place to live. Maybe the beatings would stop if we were to go there to live.? little did we not\u2019 realize that, a new terror, was waiting for us, In The \u201cMagical City Of Glass \u00a0\u00a0. \u00a0. \u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

Manhattan<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

We drove up to New York City, that early autumn, moving into an apartment on 96th street off of Central Park West. <\/em><\/p>\n

That first Christmas, I remember it being great. <\/em>It was filled with lots of happiness, laughter and gifts. Relatives came and stay for days.That Christmas was the only Christmas that I can remember celebrating as a child.<\/em><\/p>\n

That was the same Christmas that we met our fathers sons.Our half brothers,Juan and Manny. Arriving from the Dominican Republic.They were both tall, lean with dark tans. According to my mother both had been sickly.<\/em><\/p>\n

She told \u00a0us that she spend \u00a0weeks nursing \u00a0them back to health. They spoke no English either.We were excited to have them. \u2018Yes they would draw attention away from us we hope.?<\/em><\/p>\n

We had been getting \u00a0beaten for the smallest of infractions.Whether because we would ask a question while he read the paper or ask to change the TV channel while he slept in front of the Television.<\/em><\/p>\n

If we play too loudly; He uses a belt on us, with a large buckle. My mother rarely intervene during his rage. She was afraid for her own well being. \u2018<\/em><\/p>\n

About a week following that Christmas me and Louis were playing with one of our New Presents, a cut-out book with \u00a0scissor, crayons, number colored pencils, for activity for Four to Six year olds. .<\/em><\/p>\n

While my mother had been cooking dinner in the kitchen,<\/em><\/p>\n

We were in the living room and unsupervised, somehow I nip’ Louis with the scissor on his lip and drew blood. It trickles down his chin. It was minor he was laughing and so was I\u2019. .<\/em><\/p>\n

My mother comes out from the Kitchen \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

to see\u00a0\u00a0what it is that we\u2019re doing and what\u2019s so funny.? She at first went nuts screaming at me for doing this, but quickly realize that it was minor. She tells us that we must be careful.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

When my father gets home \u00a0that evening at dinner time, he walks into the kitchen (we\u2019re all \u00a0sitting ) ..<\/em><\/p>\n

He \u00a0sitting \u00a0down \u00a0and \u00a0joining\u00a0 us. After a short time he notices Louis lip\u2019 and ask my mother what had \u00a0happen to it? She tells him what we were doing and how it\u2019s a more of a minor scratch.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Without saying a word he gets up and walks over to where I\u2019m sitting; punches me in the mouth, ( while I\u2019 was chewing)<\/em><\/p>\n

Hitting me hard enough to knock me off my chair, follow by a swift \u00a0kick to my stomach. As I lay on the floor, he drags me by my arm into the bedroom leaving me laying on the floor \u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Yup\u2019 That\u2019ll teach me to play with scissors\u201d..<\/em><\/p>\n

When \u00a0Johnny is enroll in school a short time later, he\u2019s gone most of the week. All I\u2019 can say is that the beatings intensify thereafter. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We started to become terrified of our father. When he came home after work, we would hide under the bed\u2019s. Staying out of his sight. Not heard, nor seen was the norm. .<\/em><\/p>\n

As I said my Mom rarely intervene. I understood; \u00a0Intervene and get beaten yourself. Which in her defense I\u2019d have to say, when she did the times that she did, he would beat her severely.<\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter: 6<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

My-Americanization\u2019<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201d How do we submit.? By being more radical enough. Or by not being\u00a0<\/b>thorough<\/b>\u00a0enough, which is the same.\u201d<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Wendell Berry.<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

We moved from East Harlem to Washington Avenue & 174th \u00a0Street in The Bronx. That January after I had turn Five.\u2019I\u2019m was enrolled in public School\u00a0 P.s. 4.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

“My Americanization had begun.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

That \u00a0first year, not understanding what was on the blackboard, while trying grasp a new language, was next to impossible.With no one to instruct me on the nuances and proper use of the alphabet.<\/em><\/p>\n

My \u00a0father never or rarely ever spoke English.There were very few Puerto Rican families that had yet to emigrate and create enclaves to network with, which meant fewer children of Puerto Rican descent in the neighborhood.<\/em><\/p>\n

We \u00a0did not own a Television till \u00a0years late. So going to class where you were the only child who didn\u2019t speak English. It was not easy.<\/em><\/p>\n

Of course it was my fault according to my father even though he himself spoke only Spanglish, my mother zip! Yeah, you guessed it I got a beating for that. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

That\u2019ll teach you to not understand a language you never heard before!!<\/em><\/p>\n

The \u00a0dyslexia was a bonus that had not kicked in at \u00a0full speed yet I would \u00a0see the words \u00a0in my mind\u2019s eye, but could not write them down in a correct descending order.\u2019\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I had what \u00a0turn out to be an ass kicking case of Dyslexia. No one knew till I was diagnosed 15 years later. Needless to say, that I was just considered of being \u00a0just plain stupid.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

We continue to do poorly at school. I just didn\u2019t get it, the words were always moving around in my \u00a0head.<\/em><\/p>\n

I could not make them stop,to be able to read them no matter how hard I try. Verbally I knew the lessons, writing them down, I\u2019 just couldn\u2019t get them in the right order and make any kind of sense of them on paper.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

My ability to deal with academic failure would become highly developed by adulthood.<\/em><\/p>\n

Louie was just as bad at math. I was good at history, science, But not understanding the 3 fucking \u201cR\u2019s.\u201d At report card time was a definite beating day for both of us.<\/em><\/p>\n

Grammar School, Jr. High, High school all three schools were a living hell.<\/em><\/p>\n

A decade or more later after watching the movie \u201cOne flew over the cuckoo\u2019s nest\u201d I was able to compare my first grade teacher who was a racist.<\/em><\/p>\n

The antagonist, \u2018within the movie character \u00a0(\u201cNurse Ratched\u201d) \u00a0who acted as nice as apple pie in \u00a0front of the authorities and patients \u00a0families, (in my case my parent\u2019s ) ..<\/em><\/p>\n

More vicious with her discipline with the wards patients, when no one could see or hear her\u2026 \u00a0You would think that having a Masters Degree in Education would at the minimal have given her some insight that; there\u2019s an issue with this \u00a06-year-old \u00a0ability to understand the English language.<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s an \u201cImmigrant\u201d and only in the country\u2019s school system \u00a0a year and a half!!. Obviously he doesn\u2019t know what\u2019s was going on, with the lesson plans, but it was easier for her to just say \u00a0\u201cYour \u2019s just stupid.! \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

When I fail a meaningless first grade test, she has my father come in and tell him that I made no effort to do better.. you guess it, I\u2019d \u00a0be getting a beating when I got home or worst..<\/em><\/p>\n

She would humiliate me in front of \u00a0the class at every opportunity and \u2018yes she would hit me with a ruler across my hands or knucklehead me in the back of my skull\u2019 or kick me in the shins! with my \u00a0father\u2019s blessing,she was going to beat the smarts into me! \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

This \u00a0type of \u00a0discipline went on\u00a0 during most of my time at elementary school, for 4 years!\u00a0 During the formative years of childhood development.. I\u2019 learn to be violent to others. <\/em><\/p>\n

In \u00a0Jr. <\/em>High School starting in the 7th grade I\u2019 refuse to let the teachers bully me any longer, and start hitting back, and hitting back \u201cHarder\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Home, Was A Dangerous Place . . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

One night that I did not get a chance to finish dinner because I didn\u2019t finish my homework. My mother makes me stop eating dinner and am told to go and finish my homework after I\u2019m done, I\u2019 ask my mother if I could \u00a0finish my dinner.?<\/em><\/p>\n

My father hearing this and comes into the kitchen from the living room.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve already have eaten enough.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I say to him: I didn\u2019t\u00a0 finish.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cso you\u2019re still, hungry.\u201d?<\/em><\/p>\n

Yes Dad, I didn\u2019t finish. .<\/em><\/p>\n

He tells me to sit on the floor in front of the stove and do so quickly which I do I do, then takes the pot of rice off the stove and puts it in front of me on the floor like I was a dog;\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cEat what\u2019s left in this pot, if you don\u2019t finish it all I\u2019ll beat you with the belt so that your mother will have to take you to the hospital from the ass wiping am going to give you for being hungry.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The pot was one of those kettles \u00a0that you make enough rice in it to last a week or to feed 20,others, it was 80% full.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c Eat it all or else\u201d \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I sat on that floor and ate till I threw up in the kettle. For throwing up, \u00a0he made me \u00a0kneel on a \u00a0grader he kept \u00a0to punish us with,kneeling on it till my knees bled. At around midnight I pass out on the floor from exhaustion and pain. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

My mother wakes me on the kitchen floor the next morning. My knees have dozens of pin size holes, with \u00a0my knee caps were cover in crusaded blood. I was told to go wash up get dressed and \u00a0ready for school \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Now off to school too face your tormentors! \u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019 still beats me and Louie at every turn, during one of his beatings ( He Got Creative) when me and Louie were 8 and 10 years old now.<\/em><\/p>\n

One night we were late coming up to dinner and we walk in expecting the usual beating but he said sit down and eat, after you\u2019re both going take baths, then right to \u00a0bed. Yes sir\u2019.. We ate while he fill the tub.<\/em><\/p>\n

After dinner, were both to take our bath together when we\u2019re done eating we would never protested.. We finish our dinner we both head to the bathroom get undress get in the tub.<\/em><\/p>\n

A few minutes after we\u2019re in he comes in with an electoral extension \u00a0cord, dips it in the bathtub water.We beg for mercy\u2019 not to beat us that we\u2019re sorry we were late.<\/em><\/p>\n

it fell on deaf ears.. He \u00a0beat us till the skin peels off our backs, buttocks and arms\u2026. Agonizing pain is an understatement\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

That night as I cry myself to sleep, \u00a0all I do is hope and pray to \u201c God\u201d for his death. God is deaf \u00a0\u2026 He\u2019s was still alive in the morning.. He had not been to work in more than a year now so he was home all the time.<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019d \u00a0beat us more often and use \u00a0many different ways to beat us. Once he made me strip naked on the rooftop stairwell \u00a0landing; beat me with his favorite toy the white electrical cord. I ran past him down the stairs to the apartment..<\/em><\/p>\n

He had lock the door so as to beat me at the front of it \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

As I said my mom rarely intervene. I understood; intervene and get beaten yourself. Which in her defense \u00a0I\u2019d have to say\u00a0 when she did the times that she did \u00a0my father would beat her severely. Years later \u00a0I learn the why of his behavior.<\/em><\/p>\n

Inexcusable as it was \u201dHe was raging \u00a0alcoholic, that made him an abuser. Unable go back to work because of the drinking.<\/em><\/p>\n

He takes early social security retirement. So much for \u00a0planning your retirement. life had made him bitter. Regret for maybe running off with our mother.? \u201cNothing but a coward.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

One morning during one of his rants before school. He had kick me in the back of the neck, as I had scrambled away on the floor from him. The reason.? Did he really need one.? At school that \u00a0late morning I was sent down to the nurse.<\/em><\/p>\n

The Nurse sends me home with a note to take me to the hospital right away. My neck and head was turned to one side of my body; from a beating he had given me the day before.\u00a0 I could not move or turn it forward.\u00a0I was hospitalized for\u00a0 two months till that Christmas morning.<\/em><\/p>\n

One of the few times I was happy to be going home. He waited: A month before, he administer the next beating . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

My half \u00a0brothers \u00a0moved \u00a0back to \u00a0 Puerto \u00a0Rico after \u00a02 year of \u00a0living with us, to be \u00a0with their mother. Who had finally \u201cImmigrated to Puerto Rico\u2019 that same year.<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t not remember a lot about my half brother Juan,he\u2019 seem to be this person that came into our lives, the vanishing just\u00a0as quickly as he had appear. He\u00a0\u00a0never \u00a0really interacted with us much, that I can\u2019 remember.<\/em><\/p>\n

We saw him at my \u00a0father\u2019s funeral some years later and we never saw him after that.What I learn of him as an adult; he was Math Professor in Tennessee or Kentucky some fucking where.<\/em><\/p>\n

The last thing I had heard about him was, back in 1989 when I was visiting my cousins in Puerto Rico. That he\u2019 had died, from a heart attack; but who knows.? He was maybe Twenty\u00a0 years older than\u00a0 me. \u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Post Note: They were never beaten when they lived with us:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018 Fuck\u2019em . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter: 7<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\n
Fort Apache, The Bronx\u00a0<\/b><\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\u201d Growing up on the streets, I\u2019 at first was afraid of \u00a0them \u2026Then \u00a0I\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
\n
saw hope in them, hope that when I died It\u2019s wasn\u2019t on them.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
C.M. \u00a0. . .\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Watching Death Pool on the sidewalk: <\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Street Justice was a way of life. Creating a virtually unnoticeable ripple in the daily life of the South Bronx.<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Death has its own face. It makes its point with the violence that lived in that impoverished neighborhoods.<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\n
Wearing layers of\u00a0 death add, Fear, Poverty, coupled with the mistrust of Law Enforcement, you have a\u00a0 cycle of\u00a0 violence; that\u2019s filled with feuds spanning generations among Puerto Rican\u2019 African Americans, the Italians.,\u00a0<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
When you look at the ghetto, the ghetto looks back at you with death. Death has no face in a war zone.<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
All of it, overshadowed by the injustice that held sway over much of the delineated geography, that was the South Bronx of the early 1960\u2019s.<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
A day of \u00a0terror in the neighborhood:<\/strong><\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
A child molester and repeat sex offender arrested for the rape and murder of a \u00a06-year-old girl; \u00a0Is let go due to lack of evidence or witnesses.<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\n
Police can do nothing but turn him loose knowing, he\u2019d go back into the neighborhood, where a sure death sentence was waiting for him.<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Now in those days if you did shit like that,in the ghetto you are not innocent until proven guilty.<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
In that ghetto you\u2019re guilty.\u201d End of story.\u201d On the street, everyone knew you did it or did not\u2019 do it\u2019.?<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Justice would be swift and certain. Self-perceive Vigilante vengeance was a way of life.<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n

Three days after his release, His naked headless body is seen hanging \u00a0from a streetlight on the corner of Washington ave & 174th Street.<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s strung up\u2019 by his underarms naked to the world from the corner streetlight for all to see, before his cadaver is brought down.<\/em><\/p>\n

It appeared that his Balls and Cock were also removed. <\/em><\/p>\n

“Rumor was he had allegedly, been Left to bleed-out in the basement of a tenement”.<\/em><\/p>\n

His clothing appeared a day later out of nowhere, stuff with rages to resembling a Halloween Scarecrow.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dry-Blood ringed it\u2019s shirt collar,that ran down from were his head had been cut off. A huge blood stain spreading downward across the chest of the shirt. <\/em><\/p>\n

Running down the pants legs are blood stains were his genitalia would had been. <\/em>His genitalia nor his head were ever found, that I\u2019 knew.?<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Rumor was that they fed them to the Three Foot Rats. <\/em><\/p>\n

No one ever knew what had happen to his body-parts; No one cared. \u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

Two days later a rope is tied to the back of its shirt. The kids ‘happily could now drag the headless Scarecrow through the streets for another day’. . .<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n
Chapter: 8\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
\n
\n
Clark Kent, was not the only one who used a phone booth. . .\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\n
\u201cThe act of \u00a0dying \u00a0is the act of\u00a0 living.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
Marcus\u00a0\u00a0Aurelius.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\n
\n

My childhood best friend was George.We\u2019re both 11-year-old- pre-pubic-boys. George and I\u2019 did everything together.<\/em><\/p>\n

The weird thing about George was that George look, like that kid in the snoopy character \u00a0\u201cpigpen\u201d unkempt with a massive head of tight curly black \u00a0hair.<\/em><\/p>\n

A dark cinnamon complexion; like the Taino\/ Arawak \u00a0Indians of\u00a0 Puerto Rico. Like the ones Columbus discovered when he first visited the Island.<\/em><\/p>\n

Depending on which account you believe (He had \u00a0a lot of them killed before he left the Caribbean. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

History say that most die from disease brought over from Europe.?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

When George would came over to play, my mom would try to get him in the bathtub. George did not seem to bathe often.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

He stops coming bye during the school week.<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Embarrassed that my mom would ask him about the huge black-blues welts all over his body.<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\n

(From the beatings his dad gave him.) <\/em><\/p>\n

Whenever I ask about the bruise.?<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019d say:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d I bruise easily when I’ fall.\u201d It was kind of hard to tell since I had never seen him fall much. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019d giggle about everything and talk about sex all the time, or what it was.? Like all boys of \u00a0this age we\u2019d share baseball trading cards, building airplane models, collecting Comic books, watching the 3 stooges,monster movies.<\/em><\/p>\n

A favorite pastime!; Trying to get a peek up girls skirts\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Bottom Line? \u00a0\u201cWe were afraid of them. . . Funny \u00a0Shit\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Every week we\u2019d set times to meet each day after school in front of the building or down the block at the Soda Shop. Our favorite places to go to hang-out-at.<\/em><\/p>\n

As you walk in, to your the right, there was long narrow counter with ten stools that ran the length. On the left where magazine racks with rows almost to the ceiling with periodical publication containing articles, Illustrations, <\/em>Sport, Comic-Books, Novelties. <\/em><\/p>\n

On the very top racks were the; Girly-Magazines!<\/em><\/p>\n

“Way-out-of-kids-reaches!!<\/em><\/p>\n

Midway on the left, pass the racks was a phone-booth the kind with the accordion doors that are half-glass and half-wood,the kind Superman used\u2019 to change in.<\/em><\/p>\n

There were two side by side rows of red booths of five each. A Jukebox against the far back wall. You could order 6 flavors of ice cream,<\/em><\/p>\n

4 different sundaes, malts, egg-creams, hot dogs, hamburgers, fountain sodas. (Lime Rickey was my favorite)<\/em><\/p>\n

Different types of penny & nickel candy. The Soda Shop was a media outlet, for Bookies who came to place their bets. Gang members, who call their drug dealers. <\/em><\/p>\n

Follow bye the junkies who would try to steal the phone out of-the-phone-booth!. ‘No shit! Or they were always trying to hustle us for anything we had on-us.’ <\/em>Most of the time the Owner “Ray” would chase them away with his Black-Tap-Up-Baseball-Bat or we’d just run out of the shop.,<\/em><\/p>\n

All of it right down the block from where we both lived in the tenements. We\u2019re fixtures there\u2019\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

On a rainy Saturday morning when I didn\u2019t have to shine shoes,George and I\u2019 met at the soda shop and plan on\u2019 catching a matinee on Tremont\u00a0 Avenue; playing a triple feature.<\/em><\/p>\n

Sitting at the \u00a0first couple of stools near the entrance front door; having been there maybe fifteen \u00a0minute and counting our change, making sure we’d\u00a0 have enough for popcorn, candy, soda, maybe even splitting a hot-dog, all that for about a dollar.,\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

When some older kid, maybe seventeen comes running in; running right into the phone booth. <\/em><\/p>\n

Slamming the door shut, quickly ducking down into the booth\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

We\u2019re like; He must be running from the cops.? <\/em><\/p>\n

George whispers . <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNot such a great place to \u00a0hide.,\u201d We giggling. <\/em><\/p>\n

We go back,to our planning. . .\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Within a few minutes two of the neighborhoods most fear guys come and stand at the open entrance of the door.<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019re afraid of them right away.<\/em><\/p>\n

They\u2019re killers, Enforcers for the Scorpions from 149th Street & Courtland Ave.. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

These two guys were rumored to have been the ones who did the rapist of that little girl over last year\u2019s summer, among host of other deeds that were infuse with terror, fright will be all you know, if they come to talk to you,<\/em><\/p>\n

your life is in peril.,<\/em><\/p>\n

Looking inward, as rain drips from their fedors and raincoats onto the entrance doorway, t<\/em>hey look at us and past us; looking towards the back, uninterested they started to turn too walked away.<\/em><\/p>\n

One of them brings his arm up to the other guys, chest halting him from walking back into the rain. Nodding with his head toward the phone booth, as if asking.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about there\u201d??<\/em><\/p>\n

The one at the far end of the door,looks over at ‘us, brings his index finger to his mouth: indicating quiet’\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

We both nod yes. .<\/em><\/p>\n

Ignoring them is our best option.<\/em><\/p>\n

We realize they\u2019re there for that kid…<\/em><\/p>\n

‘A bad place to hide . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Johnny Mathis hit song Smoke; gets in your eyes is oozing in the background. It\u2019s his \u00a0new \u00a0#1 hit Single\u00a0‘..<\/em><\/p>\n

They step farther into the store, both walk towards the phone booth. Time seems to move slowly, with each step forward they took, their footing is deliberately soft \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 and George are terrified, our hands sweat from holding the change. Our eyes are open wide as we look, at each other with\u00a0 fright. . . \u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Whatever happens don\u2019t make any sudden moves. try to run and get shot.\u00a0 I know they know who I\u2019m.<\/em><\/p>\n

They\u2019 know who my brother Johnny\u201d is\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m still afraid \u00a0because that won\u2019t make it safe. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

They\u2019ll shoot us both; if we get in the way\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

The store owner ‘Ray, who\u2019s sitting at the back having his morning coffee while reading the Spanish Paper, El-Dario. Gets up from the red leather booth where he\u2019s sitting, holding his Bat’\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Is signal with a hand gesture to be quiet and sit back down.<\/em><\/p>\n

He does. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018 Yes, he\u2019 also knew who they were. He slowly sits, continues to read his paper. As they reach the phone booth-without making a sound, they both peek in. . .\u00a0 .<\/em><\/p>\n

In unison, they both take a step back to either side of the booth. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

From under their raincoats come sawed-off shotguns. Both come up to the side of the Phone Booth, both are pointed downward and empty into the booth. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

The explosion is deafening, instantly smoke fills the store.<\/em><\/p>\n

The \u00a0front window panes of the booth shattered outward while blood cover wood splinter from the sides. Followed by s<\/em>hards of\u00a0 blood covered glass, body-parts, all erupting and discharging<\/em> outward, being flung onto the counter-top and floor.,<\/em><\/p>\n

Ringing \u00a0from the blast echoes in our ears,we remain sitting noiselessly, terror-stricken.,<\/em><\/p>\n

They calmly put the sawed-off \u00a0back under their, blood spattered raincoats; walking out swiftly into the pouring rain.,<\/em><\/p>\n

They say you die twice: Once when you stop breathing a second time when somebody says your name for the last time. . .<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

Chapter: 9<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

My First Death, Is My Freedom.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201d We look at the world once, in childhood. <\/strong>The rest is memory.\u201d \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Louise Gluck . . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Distance horizons from the Bronx roof tops, was where the world went flat and ended. Never travelling further then the radiance of the Skyscrapers that oozed with light\u00a0then vanished into the twilight\u2019s stars.<\/em><\/p>\n

The endless summers for us were spend, swimming or line fishing in the Bronx River. The water was always murky looking yet-seem clean leaving no residue on our skin unlike Orchard Beach.<\/em><\/p>\n

The smell of rot, had not permeated the river with industrial waste yet. The Botanical Gardens, was an urban kids countryside with The Bronx Zoo, just steps away. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

On Webster Avenue on 168th street that was undeveloped wooded area . Which we call “Sneaky Hill”. This area arch up from the back of the stores above the street for over\u2019 300 yards.<\/em><\/p>\n

Behind the strip of storefronts where all Factories and warehouse that stretch \u00a0for about 2 blocks.It was perfect for running and hiding. <\/em><\/p>\n

Playing War Games, Cowboys and Indians, building forts out of trees and branches \/ plywood and anything else we\u2019d find.<\/em><\/p>\n

At the back of the factory warehouse on the way home, we\u2019d dumpster dive on\u00a0 Fridays, behind the plastic\/ rubber \u2018Toy Factory.\u2019 Friday was the day they, throw out all the defect or damaged toy pieces.<\/em><\/p>\n

We collect as many as we\u2019d find, that we felt had minor defects. Bringing them back to the neighborhood, we\u2019d sell or trade for \u201d Prize Baseball cards.\u201d even-maybe; get a \u201cMickey. \u201c. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

One Friday afternoon, Louie heads home earlier to get a jump on dumpster diving. We\u2019re maybe 10 minute behind him. Coming to the back of the Toy Factor, getting closer we see a police car by the Toy factory.<\/em><\/p>\n

Someone is in the back of the cruiser. Getting about twenty feet from it, we can now see who\u2019s in the back.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018 It\u2019s Louie.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Running over to the cruisers, I ask him what happen?? He\u2019s crying, he say<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d I don\u2019t know. I was in the dumpster and the cops pull me out \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

He shows us that he\u2019s handcuffed, because as you know, handcuffing a 70 Lb. 8-year-old, who could be very dangerous is the right thing to do.<\/em><\/p>\n

The cop ask me:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWho are you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I tell him, a<\/em>sking why is he\u2019 in the back of the police car.?<\/em><\/p>\n

They\u2019 tells us.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHe was arrested\u2019 for Burglary.”<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019re like: What\u2019s that.? \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cStealing\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The three of us, breakout laughing.<\/em><\/p>\n

(we\u2019re \u00a0kids. The oldest is, 11-1\/2\u00a0 years old .? )<\/em><\/p>\n

They weren\u2019t kidding.!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

They say to me:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cGo tell your parents he\u2019ll be at the 42nd precinct on 3rd Avenue.”<\/em><\/p>\n

We stood there with our mouths hanging open in amazement. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cTo serve and protect everyone from \u00a08-year-olds.<\/em><\/p>\n

I ran all the way home, to tell about Louie\u2019s dilemma\u2026 I got a few hard whacks from my father; I was in the vicinity.<\/em><\/p>\n

That puts me in the crime zone according to my father. He brings me with him over to the precinct. While on the way there he\u2019s telling me he plans on leaving me there and have me put away with Louie, because we don\u2019t listen to him.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m terrify all\u2019 the way over there. The Police\u2019 whole thing was \u201cWe will teach you a lesson\u201d if you get and ass kicking from your parents, so be it. <\/em><\/p>\n

The lesson we learn was \u201cNot\u201d the one they wanted us to learn\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Learning\u2019 to mistrust them even more. Terrifying an 8-year-old child by shackling him, then putting him in the back of a patrol car. Because dumpster diving for discarded toys, is illegal.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Driving him home to his parents and explaining the dangers of this activity would had been a lesson well taught, Priceless.<\/em><\/p>\n

Not the beating and the mental abuse, we both recived from him.<\/em><\/p>\n

Louie was beaten so badly, he had to stay home from school for a week.<\/em><\/p>\n

lesson learn.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Thank You NYPD.!<\/em><\/p>\n

If he\u2019d had been black, he\u2019 would have been-shot dead while trying to escape from the crime scene.?<\/em><\/p>\n

So\u2019 we were lucky\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A New Way Of Seeing.,<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\n
\n

Growing out of the Baseball-Card-age and into my’ pre-teen’s, some of the older Kids on the block took me under their wings and taught me, the in\u2019s and out\u2019s of the ghetto as I started to grow up round them.,<\/em><\/p>\n

I would learn how to survive on the street and at home, where I\u2019 was never safe.,<\/em><\/p>\n

One of our other favorite things to do was to go to Yankee Stadium. The Jerome Avenue station is next to the Yankee Stadium.<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019d wait for a train to pull into the station and as it roll in, 5 to 10 of us would rush and jump the turnstile rushing up-stair.We\u2019d run to the end of the platform, climb up to the street overhang and watch the game.<\/em><\/p>\n

The best seats in the house were these seats. At the top of the 7th inning we go \u00a0down to the entrance of the stadium, they let us all in. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Post Note:<\/em><\/p>\n

After the major Yankee Stadium Renovation in 1973 \u00a0where the wall was made taller to add more seating tiers.Those seats on top of the overhang where lost forever. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

At about that time, Johnny was Sixteen years old. tall solid muscle.The War Lord of the Scorpions, one of the most notorious Gangs of the South Bronx. of it;s day. .<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

One oppressive hot Summer night running late, coming from the Public Pool \u00a0on Crotona Avenue. Walking in the door he\u2019s scolding, threatening to beat us with a Baseball Bat.<\/em><\/p>\n

Johnny, squared off on him. Standing between him and us,up front in his face, saying to him<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIf you swing that bat at me or them tonight, I will beat and hospitalize you or I\u2019ll have you thrown off the fucking roof before dinner . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He never touches him again. That privilege did not extent to Louie and me so we became more resilient at avoiding being beaten by him as often. .<\/em><\/p>\n

Pass-out-Drunk, he did not notice or see us leave the apartment for most of the day.<\/em><\/p>\n

He’d would ask my mother; Where were we.? <\/em>She say we were at The Boys Club Of America a few blocks away.<\/em><\/p>\n

He \u00a0would not ask her again for a few more days . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We \u00a0had \u00a0been playing at the Cross \u00a0Bronx \u00a0Expressway \u00a0construction site (it was still being\u00a0 built). We\u2019d dug tunnels forts in the giant mounds of dirt. I coming \u00a0home two minutes \u00a0late one evening, Louie had left ahead of me.<\/em><\/p>\n

I was 2 minutes behind him. ( I saw him enter our building.) Running as fast as I could, I run-up to the to the 6 Floor landing and into our apartment. As I walk through the door, I\u2019m sucker punch in the face with such \u00a0force he KO\u2019s me. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

My mom wakes me in the morning, gets me ready for school. The man was brutal, he must\u2019ve hated me to have treated me like that?<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m fucking 10\u2019 years old!! Anyone that beats their children like this should be put to Death\u2019 period.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2019Too many laws and rights for these criminals are in place that help protect these people. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Put a Death Sentence on the books, maybe with Public Executions, \u201cChild abuse will come to end quickly<\/em><\/p>\n

Early Summer Johnny, Louie and I\u2019 go to Crotona Parks Public Pool, Just opening for the summer season.<\/em><\/p>\n

We climb the 10\u2032 foot fence. After spending the day, head home for dinner. I walk in through the door to see my Mother crying, she has me sit down.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cMe and your father are going our separate ways.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

That was the good news: You would think I\u2019d jump for joy,?<\/em><\/p>\n

In the same breath she also says, \u201cI\u2019ve been chosen to go live with my Father, my tormentor & abuser.! \u00a0I\u2019m filled with \u201cdespair for, I was just given a Death Sentence by my very own mother.<\/em><\/p>\n

As tears ran down my face from his news.<\/em><\/p>\n

She continues:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll be living with your father and your brother Manny.<\/em><\/p>\n

‘Who I haven\u2019t seen since I was 5 years old.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll be moving to Long Island\u2019 to an area call Long Beach.<\/em><\/p>\n

Where is that.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s right down the block from the Ocean. The schools are better than any of the schools in the Bronx.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah, comforting to know.. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve already have packed you a bag with some of your things, pick out a few other things too bring with you tonight. Manny will be back next week to get the rest\u201d What about Louie and Johnny? I ask her through my tears<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re staying here with me; \u00a0Manny will be here after dinner so you\u2019ll be leaving tonight\u201d\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m thinking..<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 will have to kill him in his sleep. This is not what an \u00a010-year-old should think of when he gets home from school \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

My life\u2019. . . \u00a0For Her Freedom. . \u00a0.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Long Beach, Long Island N.Y.<\/em><\/p>\n

I had not been in a car since we drove up from Miami when I was\u00a0 4 1\/2 years old. It was dark when we arrive to what seem like a small building half the size of the ones in the Bronx, that where just three stories tall.<\/em><\/p>\n

The \u00a0smell of urine is not in the hallway, the apartment is on the ground floor, it\u2019s even \u00a0nicer on the inside. There is furniture without the plastic covers, a huge Television faces the sitting area.<\/em><\/p>\n

My mother kept our place clean\u2019, but it was just different.\u2019 There are no cockroaches or rats that came out to greet us anywhere. I\u2019m thinking strange? where are they.?<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m shown to a room in the back of the apartment . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

My father:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s your own-room son.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m confused: Since I slept or share a room with my other brothers my entire life.<\/em><\/p>\n

There are posters on the walls of people, I\u2019ve never seen or heard of.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou have a desk to do your homework on\u201d \u2026 Manny tells me\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

Good luck with that. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

A nice size bed against the wall,I don\u2019t have to share, with a rug in front of it. A small three drawer dresser with a lamp\u2019 on it. Weird.? I even have my \u00a0own 17: inch black-and-white TV on a separate table.<\/em><\/p>\n

The biggest and most amazing thing in the apartment was that they were:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Steel-Bars on any of the windows.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

This could be good.?\u00a0 I might like it here.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018What about the Boogeyman.? . \u00a0. \u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

When will the first beating take place.? . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

It won\u2019t be long now.? . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

That weekend went well, Manny treated me great and took me on a sightseeing tour of the area. My father had stay back at the apartment. It gave me a chance to open-up to him. I told him how, I\u2019m afraid to to be alone with my father.<\/em><\/p>\n

He tells me not\u2019 to worry that the beatings have now come to an end he would have a serious talk with him. I pleaded with him not too, just keep an eye out for me.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d No, I must have a talk with him.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He did not realize how bad it was, for Louie and me and Mom. <\/em><\/p>\n

That night after manny spoke with him. <\/em>I\u2019m call into the living room, in front of Manny, he calls me a liar and a storyteller; Telling Manny that he only reprimanded us when we disobey.<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t believe Manny believe him.<\/em><\/p>\n

The subject was close, sent to bed. Tomorrow is my first day of school and my first beating at the new place would now come much sooner than later\u2026..<\/em><\/p>\n

Manny took me to school; I get registered. An hour I was in a classroom, my classmates were not friendly, they kept their distance.<\/em><\/p>\n

One kid brave enough to asked me if I spoke English.? To which I told him in plain English I only spoke Spanish.<\/em><\/p>\n

I had never learned it in the Bronx because most of the time they kept me in the closet at school. Only being let out to eat or go to the bathroom and recess..<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m looking at him with a deadpan stare the hold time. He turns around and walks away. saying go to a group of my other classmates. .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019 can\u2019t speak English\u2019 so stay away from him \u201d \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I could love it here \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

After school I headed home it’s a 10: minute walk. I had forgot about my brothers conversion with my father. <\/em><\/p>\n

That was a mistake bye Manny, having a talk with him’.<\/em><\/p>\n

Had I remembered I would not had gone back to the apartment by myself. I would just had awaited down the block or walk over to the beach until I saw Manny\u2019s car pull up.<\/em><\/p>\n

As I walk in through the door, he hits me across my back with\u00a0with three quick strokes of his belt. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Followed by a swift solid kick to my ass. I run towards my bedroom. I don\u2019t make \u00a0it. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He beats me for about 5 minutes and tells me that\u2019s for lying to your bother about me beating \u00a0you. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Right\u2019 this beating was my imagination. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Telling me:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0 “When you\u2019re done eating go back to your room and do your homework and dont come out till tomorrow morning\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Things stay about the same over the next two month. The beatings did become \u00a0less frequent, but on heavy nights or days of drinking when Manny was out, I get a good one.<\/em><\/p>\n

I \u00a0had never seen him drink before. He was drinking in front of me,drinking one bottle after another bottle. He would consume daily at minimum Two to three bottles of rum until he\u2019d passes-out\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

One night after, I\u2019ve\u00a0 one to bed. I\u2019m awoken in the middle of the night by a commotion in the bathroom hall. I crack my door, take a peek out onto the hall. What I\u2019 hear is Manny in the bathroom telling him.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019 need to go the hospital to the emergency room.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I come out stand at the open bedroom door watching. I ask Manny what\u2019s <\/em>going on he screams at me to go back to \u00a0bed. I do, I\u2019m \u00a0not concerned about what\u2019s happening \u00a0to him..<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m awoke by the phone ringing the next morning.<\/em><\/p>\n

I go into the kitchen, I answer it, it\u2019s Manny he tells me\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cDad is in surgery, eat something go to school. When dad is out of surgery and done at the hospital, I\u2019ll see you back at the apartment after school.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I say okay, hang up. I go into the bathroom to pee.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

I open the door and there\u2019s \u201cBlood! everywhere I mean everywhere! The toilet was fill with blood the walls were\u00a0covered.. \u00a0It was everywhere, reminding me of some horror movie scene where the person gets chop up with an Axe.!<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 pee in the tub, then walk out closing the door behind me.\u00a0I wash up in the kitchen sink. I eat something, dress and I head out the door.<\/em><\/p>\n

Skipping all the way to school; the beatings are over.? I hate to sound cold, but I did not react in an other way. .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0A new world awaited me.<\/em><\/p>\n

Later that early afternoon, I\u2019m removed from my classroom broth over to the office. Manny\u2019s talking to the principle, Ten minutes later were out the door head back to apartment. Once there, he gives me the bad news.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOur father die of \u00a0Cirrhosis of the Liver, during surgery; his liver had exploded inside him. Pack a small suitcase, You have to go stay with your mom for a while.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m thrilled at the news.! He\u2019s finally dead.! . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019re out of the apartment, in his car fifteen minutes later.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m back in the Bronx after about 2 hours. Arrive at Washington Ave, pulling up in front of the apartment building; I jump out of the car and race into the building and up the stairs.<\/em><\/p>\n

My mother shocked to see me; screams in joy at seeing me, In the same breath she asks,<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cwhat are you doing here.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Manny will tell you.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, tell me\u201d.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Manny will tell you.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

Manny walk in the front door and tells my mother about his death. My mother becomes hysterical. The next few days are fill with relative coming over. The funeral takes place a week later. I\u2019 Louie and Johnny haven\u2019t shed a tear, Not \u00a0a\u2019 One. .<\/em><\/p>\n

Family members tell each other that\u2019 were in shock, \u201csure we were. To this day I\u2019ve never been back to his grave, what for.? His death gave us our freedom. He die,violently, brutally, fittingly in his own, blood. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

When I had my first born 25 years later, I cry at his birth; Forgiving my Father\u2019s brutality,<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u2018It made me a better man and the Father,he should had \u00a0been. . .<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Chapter 10:<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The Streets & Harder Times.<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAs I grew from a child \u00a0into a man I gave away my innocence to the streets,v<\/strong><\/em><\/span>anishing my childhood from my soul, <\/strong><\/em><\/span>I felt like an orphan: I miss that me\u2019 since then\u201d \u00a0. . . \u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Carlito Monolo.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

A week after my Father\u2019s death Aunts,Uncles along with Manny, tell my mother they felt that:<\/em><\/p>\n

“The \u00a0Children, would \u00a0be better off with them because she can\u2019t support them.”<\/em><\/p>\n

It would be in Her\u2019 best interest too give them custody, if she declines. The State of New York will reward them custody. There\u2019s nothing she can do about it.<\/em><\/p>\n

To avert any legal challenge, she could not afford against them or the State Of New York.<\/em><\/p>\n

They prepared to offer her \u201cTwo Hundred Dollars for her cooperation \u201d . .\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what she might had said to them but they were not cheerful about it when they left.<\/em><\/p>\n

Two uncles and Manny show up at our apartment again a few weeks subsequently, one evening during dinner time, with a letter they handed it to my mother.<\/em><\/p>\n

She can\u2019t read a stitch, she hands it to Johnny. Reading it, explains to her what it said. It\u2019s from family court and child protective services. It says they may take us from her.<\/em><\/p>\n

Now \u00a0Johnny is maybe 17-year-old; he\u2019s 6.ft tall athletic: he\u2019s a member of one of the most feared gangs in the South Bronx. He\u2019s the Warlord of a Gang call, The Horsemen”\u00a0\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

There are two other gang members there at the apartment. My mother was feeding them dinner,\u00a0 (she fed all the gang members of\u00a0 The Horseman ) She said she was paying protection from not being rob or Mug. . . \u00a0Smart\u2019 \u2026.<\/em><\/p>\n

They start out telling my mom they have been granted full custody of us by the court, they\u2019re there to take us with them, their Insist\u2019ve about it. Manny, instructs me and Louie go pack your suitcases.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Yeah, right away! . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

It appears not to go easy for them at all.. Johnny takes the letter after reading it,rips it up and throws it in their face. Explains to them; they should leave if they value their lives\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

A confrontation ensued.. What I recall is that both Uncles & Manny left running and bloody down the 6 floors of the building. My mother was not please that they were struck, she yells at my brother and his buddies the whole time, to quit hitting them. <\/em><\/p>\n

Johnny said they “Swung first” ..<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 didn\u2019t believe it\u2019 \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

They had said they be back as they raced away. Sure enough they were just two nights afterward.<\/em><\/p>\n

There\u2019s banging at the door, it\u2019s 2:AM in the morning:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d It\u2019s the Police open the door, we have a court order to serve you with\u201d.!<\/em><\/p>\n

My mother had the prudence to prepare for this, had made preparations with friend\u2019s down the block in case she had to protect me and Louie.<\/em><\/p>\n

We knew the plan..<\/em><\/p>\n

She gets us up,we get dressed and out onto the fire escape.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Being at the back of the building, of the six floor pay off. .<\/em><\/p>\n

It was the quickest way for the two little kids to escape; to the rooftop, then over the connecting Buildings to her friends apartment. Down the block in under five minutes, at Two- a.m in the morning \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

We dissolve into the night. Two days afterward she shows up at Carmela\u2019s apartment where were staying. She carries with her two small suitcases. She informs us we headed to summer camp for three weeks.<\/em><\/p>\n

Were each to go to different camps in case they try to track us. She had it all arranged with Saint Joseph Church on Tremont Ave.<\/em><\/p>\n

When we got back from camp Three weeks later, she tells Us’ what has happen that we where now safe from being removed from our home.<\/em><\/p>\n

Telling Manny \u201cI\u2019ve made arrangement with \u2018 her sister Socorro to take full legal custody of us. If he wants them.?<\/em><\/p>\n

He would be require to challenge their New York State Custody Court Order in Puerto Rico. Where they would inevitably lose. We never heard from my father\u2019s family again \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

In a city where no-one spoke Spanish outside the ghetto. I think the two expressions of English my Mother knew were expressions my brother Johnny taught her, they were \u00a0Fuck You\u2019 and Fuck-Off. No spiky the English.<\/em><\/p>\n

It did not matter we\u2019 would all have to step up. We would not go hungry nor become dispossessed. We had experienced misfortune and hardship all our lives.But we still had each other . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018 Things would be as they always\u00a0were, just another stone\u00a0in the road \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter:11<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The Streets Were Filled With God..<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201d Identify the dominant philosophy of a society<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

and you can predict its future\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2026\u00a0Ayn Rand<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Growing up in a true ghetto setting; made the <\/span>summer\u2019s hotter in the South\u00a0<\/span>Bronx. When apartment, temperature\u2019s were-110. degrees\u00a0 Fahrenheit add to that humidity in the \u00a090\u2019s\u2026<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

The\u00a0<\/span>streets where a welcoming-Bizarre.<\/span>\u00a0. .<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

The Street up-side was, Salsa Music that blared from everywhere. Congas, horns, hajos, timbales, metal drums, cowbells \u00a0played the sweet Salsa sounds of \u00a0the Caribbean Islands. We had \u00a0brought Puerto Rico to the Bronx, those early years of the, 40\u2019s, 50\u2019s and 60\u2019s.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cLatino\u2019s are sociable people friendly to boot. People hung-out on the fire escapes, or out the windows. Drinking beer, Cuba Libre\u2019s on their stoops.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Bodegas, where our social gathering information centers. In front of one you\u2019d be able to find out all you needed to know about almost anything .\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

You could play a game of domino\u2019s, numbers with a bookie. Find out where anyone, lived, worked, fuck, shot-up. Whatever it was; all you needed to do was walk up the block to one of the four bodegas. \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Someone knew about it or can tell you about, or who could can get it for you.? A<\/span>dd the street violence and vicious petty-rivalries and you had a front seat to a true crime-double-feature\u2019. . .\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

On hot muggy nights the Fire Hydrants were open up and down the Avenue to cool everyone off. Kids play games of \u00a0Johnny-on-the-pony. Ringo- levee-O.\u2019 A game the bigger kids play was Manhunt.\u2019<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

It would take hours to play one game of Manhunt, played within a five square block radius with 10\u2019 kids. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

To this day in 2020,\u00a0 I hear it\u2019s still being play upon Washington Avenue.’<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

The cops would come to close\u00a0 them; as soon as they left they\u2019d open them up again. They stop coming to close them after a while. From <\/span>the rooftops some would throw, debris down at them. \u00a0. . \u00a0.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

One \u00a0night; witnessing a fight with some men on the corner. These two guys beat this One dude on crutches with a cinder block, over a $5.00 pot deal gone bad. Selling oregano\u2019 as Chiba was very <\/span>bad for your health.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

( \u201d Chiba: was a Caribbean Grown Marijuana,\u201d )<\/em><\/p>\n

Living in the tenements was a reality horror Show or movie: <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

At bedtime,we had to deal with the rats crawling up-onto the beds. \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

By covering-up from head to toe,so when they got on the bed you\u2019d feel them crawling around on top of you.We would just shake them off then go right back to sleep..\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

It also help keep the cockroaches from getting into our ears or mouth. Kids who should had been afraid, we weren\u2019t. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

It was just,part of our living arrangements.,<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

There were so many cockroaches that when you sat down to eat dinner, they run over to your plate as you ate; trying to run off with the crumbs from the table.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Peeing in the middle of the night, was also a hassle,\u00a0you\u2019d have to go through the kitchen to get to the bathroom. You\u2019d turn on the kitchen lights, like a horror movie the floor <\/span>was\u00a0<\/span>moving, with thousand of these vile cockroaches, the color of excrement. . .<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018 Yeah, Peeing at night was such a hassle’. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

One Saturday a month after coming home from camp, my mother wakes me early. She takes me over to the local gobble: <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Greeting him<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Ola Don Carlos”\u00a0 after exchanging pleasantries:<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Hands the cobbler a $10.00 \u00a0bill. He hands her a shoe-shine box, which she hands to me. Inside the box are two brushes a few different polishes everything a boy would need to shine shoes.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m \u00a0excited, but very confuse why is she giving me this shoe shine box.? Who is it for.? <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0As we leave she say: \u201d You\u2019re all set now\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

She walks me over to\u00a0 Third Avenue, beneath the 3rd Avenue El Train exit, at the corner of 146th street.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

On that corner she say: \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d You will shine shoes on this corner from 9am till 2pm on Saturdays and Sundays. You will charge, 15 cents for shoes and 20 cent for boots.\u201d <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0I look at her with astonishment!..<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

What.?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Why do I\u2019 have to shine shoes.? \u00a0\u201cSomos \u00a0pobres\u201d \u00a0(who knew)\u00a0 that\u2019s why. Don\u2019t head home until \u00a02pm. You\u2019ll eat lunch then afterwards you can go out to play till it’s dinner time\u201d.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Everyone has to work from now on or until I can find a way for you not to shine shoes,\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I ask; what about Louie and \u00a0Johnny..? \u201cThey both have jobs. Johnny told me he has a job at the C-Town \u00a0Supermarket. . .\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Louie is almost Nine years old so he\u2019ll be working with me cleaning apartments. If \u00a0you want to live where we live now this is what you must do until I tell you; you don\u2019t need to do it anymore. \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Do you \u00a0understand.? \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

If you don’t do what I ask of you and you go off\u00a0 to play instead of shining shoes I\u2019ll know about it, it won\u2019t be good \u00a0for you at all.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

But I don\u2019t know how to shine shoes.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll learn, there are a few others boys who will be here soon watch them. Ask them \u00a0questions. \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

You also must learn how to shine different shoes.You\u2019ll get good at it and you will, and you better’.. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

“B<\/span>elieve you can do it” and it will be easier for you to learn”<\/em><\/p>\n

She turns and walks away headed back to the tenement. . . \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

In the summer of 1962. at the age of Ten- Half, \u00a0I had started my first job.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

That first day I watch the other kids, I\u2019 tried my hand at it maybe twice with disastrous results that first day. Both men still paid me out of pity, the other man told me to learn to do something eles becouse I’suck! <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

So from 9: am till \u00a02: pm.. I\u2019 made .30 cent it was not\u201d a good paid-day\u2026<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Getting home telling my mom, I was just not good at shining shoes. I\u2019 Repeated this to her over and over as I cry.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll get better at it because you have no other choice, you must stand up for your family.<\/em><\/p>\n

My Mother taught me: Tough Love along with persistence, determination, but most important perseverance.<\/em><\/p>\n

She went on to tell me.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIn your life your body and mind may bent in ways you never thought possible. <\/em><\/p>\n

The pain will be unbearable at times, but your mind will\u00a0 be aware of the illusion.<\/em><\/p>\n

You\u2019 wont be made of steel, but you\u2019ll be made of hardened emotional determination one day; by becoming one with your life. <\/em><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be ashamed to expose your ignorance learn from it\u201d \u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 was at it then next day. I did get better at it; She was right. Bye the end of that summer I was excellent at it. I build a customer base on the weekends.Shining a <\/span>pair\u00a0<\/span>of shoes in under 15 minutes.<\/span>.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Making about $10.00 to $15.00 dollars on weekends, in Nickels,Dimes and Quarters!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

On Sundays, I learned about catching the church crowds from St. Joseph\u2019s Roman Catholic Church on Bathgate off\u00a0 Tremont Avenues.<\/em><\/p>\n

The Nine : A.m. Mass was where you made the best tip\u2019 money. <\/em><\/p>\n

They felt the most blessed.<\/em><\/p>\n

Then there\u2019s The Ten A.m. Mass; <\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019re good Roman Catholics we must go’..<\/em><\/p>\n

You might get a Nickel tip, four-out of Ten times.<\/em><\/p>\n

The least likely to tip\u2019 you was the Eleven A.m. mass out at Noon . . <\/em><\/p>\n

They \u00a0were the ones forced to go to church by family members..<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

They always wanted a discount. . .\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

The most sinful of the Church goers were the Noon Mass goers, who <\/span>exodus at 1 P.M.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Leaving church they\u2019d realizing they\u2019re still in the ghetto. They\u2019d \u00a0hurry back to their Gambling, Drinking, Lying, Cheating and just overall sinning till next Sunday.!<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

‘When all would be forgiven again, It\u2019s a good deal for them . \u00a0. . . \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019d shine shoes all year long, providing that it was not raining or too cold so, weather permitting . \u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019d give my mother whatever money, I\u2019d made. She would give me a Dollar to <\/span>spend as I like. . .\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

The following summer when I had gotten good at it, I headed Uptown to 42nd Street off Time Square or over to Broadway where the big money was.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019d stand in front of my shine box ‘screaming: <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Cheap shine only a dime.\u201d <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

For the last push before heading back Uptown \u00a0. . .<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

At the end of the day, which was at about 3: p.m. . I\u2019 would make $25.00 to $50.00 Dollars a day on either saturday-Sundays. She would still only give me, One Dollar. . Once in awhile, I get Two Dollars. \u00a0. . . \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

My Mother was happier at home; That\u2019s what matter most\u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll shine shoes till I turn Thirteen. . .\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

One afternoon Rocco\u2019 the block Bully who lived in the adjoining building,.\u00a0 His family is of Italian descent. One of the very \u00a0few remaining Italian families still living in the neighborhood.. \u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019re all \u00a010,11,12, 13-year-olds boys, Rocco’s is 15 years old. He took everyone\u2019s candy or change, baseball cards whenever he felt like taking from Us’, or just h<\/span>it you for the fuck of it.!! \u00a0He kept his secret as a bullier from the adults,as an altar-boy. . . \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

He \u00a0hated \u00a0me\u2026 One Sunday afternoon returning home from midtown; \u00a0 Rocco stops me and takes me off for the $17. 00 \u00a0dollars I had made that day on Broadway..<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Showing up broke I Tell my Mother what he had done.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

She and Johnny\u00a0 bring me over to his \u00a0parents.. Johnny explains the consequence of what “Rocco had done, which he vigorously denies.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

His father searches him, finds $12.00 of the money in his shoes. The father takes a five out of his wallet to make up the difference ..\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I \u00a0heard the beating was brutal.<\/em><\/p>\n

It was better than being thrown off the rooftop. Johnny, promise them he would, throw Rocco off the roof, if the money wasn\u2019t returned . . .\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Being 12 years old Rocco loved picking on me the most. After I had told on him. Everyday just about <\/span><\/em>everyday that summer that he saw me. He bullies Me or us all, we\u2019d tell our parents they tell his. It would stop for a week or two.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Then he\u2019d be right back at it soon enough.. Most of us\u2019 challenge him; but he always beat the shit out of whomever calls <\/span><\/em>him out..<\/i><\/p>\n

He looks like James Dean, a<\/span> perfect clone.. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

After dinner one night I go to Johnny: <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Johnny we\u2019re constantly being bully bye Rocco. Can you do something\u00a0 you\u2019re our only hope man.?\u2019\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

His advice could be dangerous and detrimental to a person\u2019s health. More like you should have second thoughts about taking it . . . \u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cLook, I can beat his little punk-ass, yeah he\u2019ll stop. Your problem is, he’ll start up again as he always does.,<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

What you must do is gang-up on\u00a0<\/span>him and beat his ass yourselves.<\/span><\/em><\/i><\/p>\n

That\u2019s your only strategy to get him to stop,<\/span> because you\u2019re not matching his muscle. Since all of \u00a0you are 90 .lb weaklings. You will have to put more muscle into your arms\u201d.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

My brother’s advice was the worst thing you could have taken. To do so would have meant to either find yourself in prison or a contract on your head or being chased for Revenge<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

But it was always good to know that whatever he said you should try to do the opposite which was not to take his advice”.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Hey, these were crazy motherfuckers sociopaths! I believe my brother Johnny was a sociopath during that period of time;<\/em><\/p>\n

Did it rubbed off onto me?\u00a0 Yeah t did to some extent; <\/em><\/p>\n

But not to that fucking crazy-Ass-extent.,<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

My personality could have been found in the DMs but not under those psychosis.!!<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n


I, had more of an uncomplicated attitude, Fuck the bark it’s all about the bite, fear no one, Give No Quarter, and that was it.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

How do, we do him?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Follow \u00a0me\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

We go into his bedroom from behind the door he brings out a Louisville-Slugger.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAfter school tomorrow bring it down with you. Place it behind the buildings entrance- foyer door where you can grab it quick.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

When he starts fucking with one of you guys tell \u00a0him to fuck off. He\u2019ll \u00a0come at you; and get in your face.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

When he\u2019s in your face, make sure he\u2019s close\u2019 then suck punch him hard and run into the hall-way, h<\/span>e\u2019ll chase you into the hallway you\u2019ll have maybe 5 seconds head start.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

You\u2019ll be waiting for him to where you left the baseball bat. . When he\u2019 enters beat his ass with it.\u2019<\/span>No \u00a0head shots, you don\u2019t want to kill him\u201d . .\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

He goes on . . ,\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d He\u2019ll stop fucking with you \u2019trust me on that. <\/span>But he still might kick your ass.<\/span> But he\u2019ll never know, which\u2019 one of you\u2019 or all of you will retaliate the next time he fucks with one of you guys..<\/span>.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

After<\/i> school the next day I share the plan and \u201cJohnny\u2019 s \u2018advice<\/em><\/p>\n

The guys were all agreeable that we should gang-up on him but\u00a0which of us would strike the first blow?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

They agree but I’ should hit him with the bat first? <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

It was my Idea”\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

If I said,\u00a0<\/span>No\u2019?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

How <\/span>can I tell one of them to do \u00a0it.?\u00a0 <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

We agree they would all have my back, If I\u2019m overwhelmed they would jump in. . .<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

We plan on confronting Rocco the following day. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

After school is let-out the following afternoon<\/span><\/em> I rush home eat a quick snack, then go into Johnny\u2019s room. Grabbing the bat, I head to the front door, having to walk through the kitchen. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

My Mother say:<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWait a minute, where are you going with that\u201d.? \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

To play stickball. \u2019<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere at the Yankee Stadium.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

There isn\u2019t a baseball park for miles.\u201d \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

We broke our stick-ball bat,so we\u2019re using this instead. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Holding up the bat for her to inspect \u00a0. . .\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Looking at me with a tilted head & squinting eyes; she knew something was up. \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Before she can ask another question. I\u2019-bolt-out the door.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

She\u2019s starts screaming in Spanish \u00a0\u201d Get back here now .!! \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Racing down to the lobby landing, I put the Louisvillie-Slugger behind the door.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019re all waiting for him out in front of my building. I\u2019m sweating, I\u2019m nervous as hell. Hoping he\u2019 doesn\u2019t beat me with the bat.\u2019<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Rocco comes out from his next-door Apartment Building,seeing us gather in front of a car, facing the building entrance where the bat is waiting behind the doors .,\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Walk<\/i>\u00a0over to us:<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

A lucky strike-hangs from the corner of his mouth, perfectly combed \u00a0Pompadour, roll-up, white T-shirt a pack of\u00a0 Lucky Strikes in the sleeve-roll. Jeans with roll-up, pants-cuffs, garrison belt, biker Boots. . . . . . \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Stops in front : . . . \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you pussies waiting for.\u201d?<\/em><\/p>\n

I step off the car I’m leaning on and say <\/em><\/p>\n

“You\u2019re stupid fagot ass.\u2019 \u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

His mouth hangs open in disbelief…<\/em><\/p>\n

The lucky strike falls into the gutter.<\/em><\/p>\n

Now, I\u2019m scared.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

leaning back against the car, sweat snails down my back as I b<\/span>reak into a nervous stutter.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

“that’s that\u2019s, that’s right you, you, heard me. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

(Doing my best<\/span> to keep from running.) <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Hoping he\u2019 leans down–into me before he hits me, he does’\u00a0 . \u00a0. \u00a0.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Leaning down into my face:<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 coil my fist as tight as I could. I wait until he says:<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d I’m going to’ kick your fucking ass.! \u201d \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

As the last word comes out of his mouth:<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I hit him with the hardest uppercut I can muster!\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

‘It sends him reeling backwards, falling onto the sidewalk on his ass.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m running into the buildings hallway in a flash.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u2018I think I took off, before he hit the sidewalk.’\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Within<\/i>\u00a0a few moment he\u2019s bolted-upright; starts after me,<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I’m waiting for him with the Louisville-Slugger\u2019. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

As he turns into the Inner-Hallway seconds\u00a0later!<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 swing hitting Rocco across his chest,as he stumbles backwards into the door frame I hit him in his right knee-cap he goes down, I then hit him across his back<\/span>, as he’s down on one keen., …<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I kept hitting him over & over across <\/span><\/em>his arms and upper-body. . .\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Remembering Johnny had said: \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Head-shots, you don\u2019t want to kill \u00a0him” <\/span>Just scare the fuck-out-of-him, give; him a taste of his own medicine.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

‘He Manages to take the bat away from me..<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Throwing it onto the outer hallway on to the street, starts beating me for about,Ten\u2032 seconds with his fists, before turning and running towards the street exit. Leaping out onto the sidewalk, running-back into his building . . .\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

As I come out of the building the guys are all screaming, high-Five-ing me, while\u00a0 jumping-up-and-down! and patting me on the back \u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

As the word travels in the hood, I\u2019m a hero.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

Rocco: stops bullying us . \u00a0. \u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

Early fall brings a moving-van in front of his building . . .<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

His family leaves the neighborhood for good. . . \u00a0White Flight.?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter:12\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

1963<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Fort Apache, The \u00a0Bronx.\u201d<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Part \u00a0Two:\u00a0<\/strong><\/b>Gang \u00a0Member \u00a0. . .\u00a0<\/strong><\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u201d These are the same men that call themselves Men of dignity, honor and respect, everyday they show they are men of none of these virtues. But men of deficiency of virtue and virtual is the mean between two accompanying vises that exist within a sphere.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Aristotle..<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

By 1963, The Bronx Neighborhood where I lived in was so crime ridden, settling scores emerged as a way of life; were enough cultural conflict and blistering contempt fuel the copious hated that strip your skin while brushing your hair Day-Glow-Red-With-Blood.<\/em><\/p>\n

The Police were reluctant to wander too-far into several parts, day or night. I do remember the cop on the beat. \u201cJoe the cop.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He knew all the kids just about by name. Knowing our Dad\u2019s and Mom\u2019s; \u00a0when we did something we weren\u2019t supposed to be doing our dad\u2019s or mom\u2019s would know about it soon enough.<\/em><\/p>\n

He had spent a lot of his time chasing us\u2019. . . One day he just stop coming around. Budget Cuts.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Turning 13-teen brought with it a rite of passage becoming a \u00a0\u201cJunior Scorpion.\u201d \u00a0An offshoot of\u00a0 The Senior Scorpions. The ruling Gang of that part of The Bronx\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

The common denominator needed to become part of it was; <\/em><\/p>\n

You were of \u00a0the same \u00a0\u2018Cultural Bloodline. Initiated would be implemented early. It was what you did. Not joining meant you\u2019d be looked at with suspicion, bringing constant harassment not joining you’d be th<\/em>e subject to an ass-kicking everyday they saw you. <\/em><\/p>\n

Other family \u00a0members could not protect \u00a0you, \u201cNo one could.\u201d You were expected to join at 13 years old, bye committed, too taking a blood oath: <\/em><\/p>\n

Joining would teach you about surviving ‘your’re surroundings and environment. It would require you to be aware of the eminent possibility of violence, learning to know, what I would do, before it happened, ‘eliminated my fear of not living forever., ..\u00a0\u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

My initiation took place in the alley behind the building I lived at. <\/em><\/p>\n

Twelve of the gang members would initiated me..<\/em><\/p>\n

On initiation day they form a circle around me taking turns hitting me anywhere they want, with the exception of my \u00a0face and balls \u00a0for to 2 minutes. <\/em><\/p>\n

The average time you\u2019d get the shit kick out of you\u2019 in a rumble. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

They didn\u2019t hold back, they had to see that you would be able to stand up to a beating at a gang \u00a0fight. At the 90 seconds mark, all Twelve of the gang would beat you at once.<\/em><\/p>\n

If you cry or ask them to stop? Your face and balls would be open to strikes, resulting in being dropped from getting membership.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

After your initiation\u00a0A senior member would cut you above your wrist. (At your forearm) then letting your blood run onto the colors of\u00a0 your gang shirt..\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I still bear that gash on my left forearm.<\/em><\/p>\n

. \u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

If \u00a0you chicken-out you\u2019d \u00a0basically would have to move from the neighborhood. Even though Johnny was the \u201cWar Lord and a senior gang member for the Horsman.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019d still get my ass kick and good; so joining was a good thing. Protection from other gangs, which you needed, no exception.\u2019 Family members were exempt from being, mug, rob, harass, or even \u00a0killed.<\/em><\/p>\n

I Instantly became privy to gangs secrets, and it’s criminal activities in the neighborhood. I learned our sister gang was the \u201cHorseman.\u201d \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

This was only known to members..<\/em><\/p>\n

The Bronx had the biggest membership during its peak in the early to the mid \u00a060\u2019s. I saw the emergence of The Young Lords, The Black Panthers, The Radical Weathermen Underground, Students For A Democratic Society.<\/em><\/p>\n

Who came-up \u00a0in the late 60\u2019S Among, other notable gangs that still \u00a0roam the streets to this day . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Junior High School \u00a0uptown on 184 Street, is where I\u2019d come into my own as a gang member. On day one I knew, they weren\u2019t going to be pleasant \u00a0at all.<\/em><\/p>\n

On the first day the seniors beat up the 7th graders for being 7th Graders.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

I do not know what the deal with that was and still don\u2019t.? \u00a0All I know was that it was some kind of \u00a0Hazing\u2019 Tradition of some kind. Some schools, \u00a0whose students wore red on red shirt day, got their \u00a0asses \u00a0kick.<\/em><\/p>\n

Kids were crazy in those days. Today they put you in jail for assault and you do time!. Then,\u2019 it was okay for some reason.<\/em><\/p>\n

Maybe it was an indication of things to come.? \u00a0Johnny put the word out that I was not to be fuck with for any reason. . . Unless you were looking for serious ass kicking from my blood\u2019. \u00a0Johnny tells me that morning before leaving the apartment . . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cGroups of \u00a09th \u00a0graders will \u00a0be \u00a0roaming \u00a0the \u00a0yard, beating up the 7th graders. After lunch leave the cafeteria go out the schools front doors. Head towards Tremont Avenue, just stay away from the yard area that\u2019s \u00a0fenced in.<\/em><\/p>\n

The door monitor is one of our guys he\u2019ll let you out and back in after lunch. Stay out of the school yard, and away from the school grounds.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The \u00a07th Graders would be confined inside with nowhere to run\u2026 These kids were pouched out. Other 9th graders, will be on the street outside the fence on the sidewalk side waiting for 7th graders that managed to get out of the school building.<\/em><\/p>\n

Pushing then hold them against the outside fence; So that 9th graders on the inside can kick the fence as hard as they could. It was fucking brutal man.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Welcome \u00a0to Jr. High School \u00a0kids.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Rating on the other pupils was not an alternative\u2026 Some 7th grade students were told the same by a \u00a0brother or sister. Or don\u2019t go to school on the first day of classes or the second day.? In \u00a0those \u00a0days you either grew up rough\u2019 or had your ass kick offend.<\/em><\/p>\n

I move up to the Eighth Grade: Johnny, went on to High School that year. Finally finishing the 9th grade. Held back in 7th \u00a0for not showing up for 4 1\/2 months of that school year ..<\/em><\/p>\n

My third month in the 8th grade during my 5th prior class; I\u2019m very talkative, inviting a few of my classmates to a \u201cSet\u201d \u00a0( Dance) for my upcoming 15th birthday. My teacher comes over to where I\u2019m sitting down and orders me to stand up.<\/em><\/p>\n

Gets in my face.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cTake the gum out of your mouth.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

As I bring my hand up to my mouth to dispose of \u00a0it. Before my hand is away from my mouth; I\u2019m sucker “smacks” on the left side of my face with enough force that, I stumble backwards to the right side of the chair.<\/em><\/p>\n

Going over the tabletop falling onto the kid seated next to me. Both of Us\u2019 tumble onto the floor. I\u2019m dazed \u00a0from the surprise hit to my face and fall.<\/em><\/p>\n

Stun from the force he used.. As, I lay there confused for a brief moment. I become aware of the students shouting. \u201d Fight, Fight, kick \u00a0his \u00a0ass.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Adrenaline rushes through my vines, as I regain my sense of place. I hoist myself\u00a0 up with a chair, swiveling it around, grabbing it by it\u2019s backrest . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He realizes quickly I\u2019m going to strike him with it!!<\/em><\/p>\n

As he begins to bring his right arm up to protect his face. The chair hits him with full force. Breaking his forearm with the \u00a0first blow, his arm crunches on impact . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Falling, howling in anguish like a little girl, while holding his arm on the floor. I take a few quick steps towards his right side,as he\u2019s sitting on the floor.<\/em><\/p>\n

I bringing the chair down on his skull. You can hear it crack open across the room. Blood gushes everywhere He\u2019 screams in agony for help . . .\u00a0 Which, he won\u2019t be given from anybody in the classroom.<\/em><\/p>\n

Being disliked, hated by most of the student body, known for hitting both females and males. I\u2019ve given him a good, taste of his own disciple.<\/em><\/p>\n

An ambulance takes him to a hospital. Police arrive, I\u2019m handcuff, drag out of school. They charge me with Aggravated Assault and Felony Battery..<\/em><\/p>\n

I spent a long weekend at a Juvenile Detention Center. Tuesday morning My legal Aid Attorney, at the arraignment states that” I\u2019 was simply defending myself against a \u00a06\u2032 foot 225.Lb man by retaliating in self-defense.<\/em><\/p>\n

The entire class was brought in as eyewitnesses, testifying to that effect.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m discharged, with a harsh warning \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

At the school inquiry and examination of the incident and my suspension a week later,he continues\u00a0to swears that I struck him first for no reason., His lawyer tries to say that it was a fact that,\u201cThe whole class lie.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

I just struck him without provocation; \u00a0My suspension hearing was dismissed. Two weeks after the bullshit inquiry he was fired. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

My radical behavior and \u00a0failure at school, was due in part to the \u201cBoard of Education. My parents being just as culpable of my behavior; both help created-contributed to the environment of that violence. <\/em><\/p>\n

The culture of violence of The South Bronx<\/em>\u2018 Ooze’ from me with \u00a0it\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Left alone by the student body. ( Most \u00a0of \u00a0the \u00a0time) Chaos filled any given day. Constant fights at lunchtime or in the hallways.Teachers were beaten, students where stab, pipe, shot. It was pretty hard to learn anything at all.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018 I knew, I\u2019d \u00a0get a great education . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

No one would get left back for any reason ( Unless you don\u2019t come to class for months) Teachers just wanted you to go through the system and get the fuck out of their fucking school. They all wanted to get home at night \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

My\u00a0 first\u00a0 full-fledged gang fight would be during my second\u00a0 year as gang member.<\/em><\/p>\n

A War Council meeting was called. At the meeting we\u2019re told, we were going to rumble,with a new gang from an area in the upper Bronx.<\/em><\/p>\n

Who were trying to acquire new turf \u00a0near the school. There announcement of their presents was too beat one of our guys for wearing our colors through neutral turf that was still unclaimed by anyone at that point that we knew of \u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

After walking his new girlfriend to her apartment .\u201dLittle Chino\u201d wearing our colors is confronted by a group wearing \u00a0an unrecognizable emblem. Its leader, stops him telling him . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re on our turf, so you need to take that shirt \u00a0off \u201d!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d I\u2019ll be out of your turf, soon .\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but you still need to take it off. \u2018 Now.! \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

Refusing to take it off. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s \u00a0beaten, his colors rip off his body.<\/em><\/p>\n

Our colors were white with a black emblem of a black Scorpion on white background with black trim. On a simple pullover lightweight \u201cV\u201d neck shirt.<\/em><\/p>\n

The gang names across in black \u201cScorpions\u201d under the Scorpion emblem\u2026 Yea, it was loud, it was meant to be.<\/em><\/p>\n

The other gang was an \u00a0Irish startup \u00a0gang name \u00a0\u201cCum-hacht\u201d which was \u2018Gaelic for power\u201d \u00a0with a with a green 4 leaf clover on a white background \u00a0with orange trim. They were an upstart, and they should have known better.,They were looking to make a name for themselves.<\/em><\/p>\n

Which was fine except don\u2019t start a fight with one of the biggest gangs in the whole Bronx..<\/em><\/p>\n

Calling us out. bye telling Chino that we would not be able come into the neighborhood or go to school\u2019 for any reason wearing colors on their turf that, weren’t theirs, would include the school grounds . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

A meeting was called by the warlords to assess the situation and what would be done.? Recon\u2019 first, how many members were they.? What were their strengths.? How much area did they control.? Who did they know.? Who would support them.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Everything was plan like a military operation by the warlords.weapons would be assign, which met \u201cZip Guns\u2019, if needed, otherwise, knives, bats, chains, iron pipes, brass knuckles and so on \u00a0..<\/em><\/p>\n

The heads of the gang would decide \u00a0whether or not to allow the gang from taking root. They\u2019d shown that hey weren\u2019t ready. Protocol on their part should had been enforced by the rules.<\/em><\/p>\n

That was to make known to us, we broke the rules. By wearing colors \u00a0in turf they had claim. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

The guilty party would be warned not to enter it again without permission when wearing their colors.Choosing to strike first.? \u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Grieves mistake. . . <\/em><\/p>\n

Kicking most of Chino\u2019s teeth out of his mouth.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018 Fatal Mistake\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter: 13\u00a0<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

1963: Fort Apache \u00a0The \u00a0Bronx.<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Part \u00a0Three:\u00a0<\/strong><\/b>Gang \u00a0Fight . . .\u00a0<\/strong><\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Dear <\/b>Readers<\/b><\/span> . . .<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Unfortunately chapter: 13* Will not be posted at ohwelltoobad.com; because \u00a0of unanswered \u00a0Legal \u00a0questions on the Statute \u00a0Of limitations of the Contents of \u201cChapter 13: \u00a0\u201cGang Fight \u201d . . . Hopefully at a later date after the legality of the Law has been resolved,most likely\u00a0it,will be in the <\/b><\/span><\/span>publish Book<\/b><\/span> . . .<\/b><\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\n
\n

Chapter :14<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Subway Ride\u2019 . . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

All things truly wicked start from innocence.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Ernest Hemingway . . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I wanted to capture the \u201d Rumble \u201d with its intensity, proving my metal and\u00a0 gain the confidence of the\u00a0 gang. I\u2019 wanted the intensity of being on the line. Actually slash; across my stomach hit in the temple area by a\u00a0 Car Antenna. On my first.\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

When it was over we headed\u00a0 back to the neighborhood safe house. Johnny\u00a0 administers\u00a0 first-aid; by pulling the skin together slapping some Sterile- Gauze on it and band-aids. A patch over my left side of my eye ..<\/em><\/p>\n

Going to a hospital was not an option unless it was a deep puncture wound. Being more surface than deep about 4 to 5 inches long.<\/em><\/p>\n

It bled like crazy though. The eye area was more sore and\u00a0 black & blue than anything else\u00a0 for a week\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

A month later, me and Chino go over to see Chiba and Bucky, two of the top enforcer. Very serious dudes; both had done some time at Elmira State Prison.<\/em><\/p>\n

Chino wants a beat-down of a man who was dating his mother,who had taken to beating her.!<\/em><\/p>\n

( I\u2019 never thought it was a good idea beat a gang member\u2019s mother.? ) \u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s told it would be a dangerous situation. \u00a0Chino tells them that,\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThis Man needs to learn, that when you hit women. !<\/em><\/p>\n

You never know who\u2019s going to hit back for them\u201d Chiba and Bucky tell him It would take a few weeks to arrange . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

In the meantime if\u00a0 the boyfriend came into \u2018Our Neighborhood, well let\u2019s\u00a0 just say he took his own life, into his own hands\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Two weeks later he tells us that he has gotten the go ahead” from Chiba\u00a0 and Bucky and from the \u2018Viceroys. He can inflict the beat-down with a few volunteers plus himself to do the deed.<\/em><\/p>\n

Chiba and Bucky tell him that strictly physical contact would be all he could\u00a0 use.<\/em><\/p>\n

It must be done within 2 weeks.That would include the surveillance, planning, putting together the team .. He could not kill him.<\/em><\/p>\n

The Viceroys would not welcome blood spilled that they didn\u2019t spilled on their own turf, it would bring to much heat into their activities.<\/em><\/p>\n

Beating him to within an inch of his life was the worst, we\u2019 must do it without causing his death otherwise there\u00a0would \u00a0be consequences <\/em><\/p>\n

Chino had to put together a team of\u00a0 Six, including him, everyone would\u00a0 have to be a volunteer. <\/em><\/p>\n

Two Dozen Volunteer’\u00a0\u00a0. .<\/em><\/p>\n

One week for surveillance, 3 Three days to execute \u00a0\u2026.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

The \u00a0surveillance was done on his building and surrounding buildings to find\u00a0 one\u2019s with cover, plus alleys that would provide additional escape routes around a Five-Square Block radius of the surrounding area.<\/em><\/p>\n

locate subway stations, Buses Stops to determine the timeline .. All this would have to had been done, within 48:hrs before we were to go.<\/em><\/p>\n

I automatically volunteer to go into Brooklyn, a neighborhood that was as dangerous as any to all different Gangs &\u00a0 Members.<\/em><\/p>\n

We would have to travel through one or \u00a0two other territories that did not give their OK, so at any time we might get into a confrontation and have no weapon. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Chino, gathers all Intel on the guy.<\/em><\/p>\n

Chino calls a meeting of the of\u00a0 the Six volunteers telling us:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d We\u2019re going. The plan is to travel after 10 pm bye subway and in different cars of the subway in pairs of Two’s, so as not to bring any attention to yourself.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Will\u00a0 arrive at the targets place around 12 midnight the target is not\u00a0 expect\u00a0 to\u00a0 get to his Apartment Building a Brownstone till about 12:30 Am or 12:45 Am the latest.<\/em><\/p>\n

We wait for him in shadows of one of the Brownstones from across the street. He\u2019d have to stop at bottom of his, then walk up to the top of the entrance of the building to get to the front door.<\/em><\/p>\n

Unlock the entrance door, then step inside; 1 minute. He\u2019 most likely will be drunk,so 2 minutes. \u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

It was going to be a bad night for him, very bad . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We arrive with extra time, we don\u2019t go wandering into the neighborhood we\u2019d \u00a0be sure to attract attention which we would not need or want.<\/em><\/p>\n

So we stay close by the buildings that were survey the days before at the right time, \u00a0we head over across the street from his building. and \u00a0hide in a front stairwell of the \u00a0building that would shield us \u00a0from view.<\/em><\/p>\n

We didn\u2019t have \u00a0to wait long, he shows up right on time 12:30 A.m.\u00a0 Almost\u00a0 stumbling drunk..we see him, he\u2019s a big man about 6 plus ft tall maybe 250 lbs slick-back \u00a0dark hair, mustache long sideburns.Wearing a trench-coat pull up around its collar.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018 He doesn\u2019t see us in the shadows, across the street \u00a0\u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We wait and we nervous and \u00a0jumpy,because of his size, as he starts up and he\u2019s halfway or more to the top. We trot across the street as he\u2019s opening the front door,were right behind him.<\/em><\/p>\n

Within seconds were beating him in the small Fourier for 1 minute, somehow he falls forward and \u00a0goes through the Fourier, front door plate glass entrance. He most had fallen inward.? Too many people in such a small confined area could cause that .? \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018We, become ghost in Brooklyn\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We take our designated escape routes to the subway and safely arrive back in The Bronx bye 2:30 am.. A few months on we heard what became of him. He left for Puerto Rico, somewhat disfigured from falling through a plate glass door accidentally\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Chapter:15<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Fireball-Rat-Run . . .\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cVengeance Sound so mean that\u2019s why I prefer calling it returning the favor\u201d\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span>
Anonymous. . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The Girl . . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I get up the nerve to ask this, Unusual Beautiful Young Woman out on a Movie date, After an awkward\u00a0 long 15: minutes. She won\u2019t stop saying\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u201d to everything we can do together, insisting that she can\u2019t date me.<\/em><\/p>\n

My persistence pays off.<\/em><\/p>\n

She agrees to meet me at the Candy\/Soda Shop; the one down the block from the school. Her name is Minerva. Hitting it off we started seeing each other there regularly. After a month or so of this.<\/em><\/p>\n

I press her about her not seeing me outside the school yard and Soda Shop . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018I had, had enough Milkshakes\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI want to hang out put my parents are very strict, you know what I mean.? That whole\u2019 Puerto Rican cultural approval thing, about their Daughters. and who they can see.<\/em><\/p>\n

That\u2019s\u00a0 why I can\u2019t see you outside of school. Next year when I turn 17 teen that\u2019s only Five months away. I\u2019ll be able to start dating with my Father\u2019s and Mother\u2019s permission, after they have meant you and your family.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Forget it, that\u2019ll will never happen\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Two weeks later I\u2019m walking her home. She tells me . . . \u201cMy Father heard you have been walking\u00a0 me home. He was asking around about you, It wasn\u2019t good, what He\u2019s heard. He told me, He\u2019 doesn\u2019t think he\u2019\u00a0 likes you.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Pausing Seemingly upset . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not allowed to walk me home. I\u2019m not to talk to you anymore, date or hanging-out with you in anyway or for any reason my Father said: <\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s a Gang Member, a Thug, a Drug-Dealer, a Criminal \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

All true at the time.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d His\u00a0 Intentions are\u2019 not virtuous.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

(<\/em>Another Truth.!\u00a0 \u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I admit to none of\u00a0 it . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

How do you feel about that.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Is It true what my father said about you.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Just because, I don\u2019t let anyone push me around\u00a0 doesn\u2019t make me all of\u00a0 that. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI think he\u2019s overreacting. Of course, he\u2019s just being a Dad\u201d. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He is\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m in . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Two weeks later after convincing her to break all the rules her family had in place,we\u2019re on a Saturday Night date to catch a movie. After the show is out I walk her home. Have a good-night- stairwell-make-out-session.<\/em><\/p>\n

I head back to Washington Avenue. A few blocks down from where I had said goodnight to her. Out of nowhere come these bunch of guys, Stopping in front of me and form a semicircle around me. <\/em><\/p>\n

An older-sounding guy, steps-up saying . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Is your Name Cucho.? (street name)<\/em><\/p>\n

Yeah what\u2019s it to you\u2019? . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe have to talk’. My name is Jorge. ( Points to some other kid) that\u2019s my Brother Juan. Minerva is our Sister.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I respond to him; Wow, you wake up to her every morning.?\u00a0 Que suerte tienes.\u2019. .<\/em><\/p>\n

With a broad smirk on my face . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI know you\u2019re seeing my Sister on the slide. That\u2019, has to stop. Get it.!! <\/em><\/p>\n

You\u2019ll stop seeing her immediately.”. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I ask him and why is that.?\u00a0 We\u2019re just acquaintances, what\u2019s the big deal Bro; ?<\/em><\/p>\n

Sarcastically, conveying\u00a0 contempt . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThe big\u00a0 deal, Bro.!!\u00a0 Is.!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0Just\u00a0 stay the fuck away from Minerva.! <\/em><\/p>\n

My family doesn\u2019t want you near or around her. If you don\u2019t stay the fuck away we\u2019re going to pummel your ass.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Being diplomatic as I can;\u00a0 If she\u2019 tells me, she will stop seeing \u2018Me.?<\/em><\/p>\n

That would be the only I\u2019d stop seeing\u00a0 her. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He sticks his index finger in my face . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re going to fuck you up.! If you don\u2019t do what I\u2019m telling you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Then starts poking me with his index finger at my chests,to make his point . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I start to warn him, that, that would be immensely unhealthy for them. Before I could describe why.?\u00a0 I\u2019m sucker punch in the face,that knock-down to the pavement.<\/em><\/p>\n

A moment later most of them start thumping the crap out of me. On the ground I\u2019 cover my face and head, while they stomp, kick, punched me, all over.<\/em><\/p>\n

Able to \u00a0get up-right, regaining my running ability, I run the fuck away.! Before they could bestow further injuries onto me.!<\/em><\/p>\n

At the Emergency Room I\u2019m Hospitalized with Two fractured cheekbones, Broken Nose, Two Black Eyes, Three Crack Ribs, Numerous Bruises. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Yeah. . .\u00a0 They gave me a good ass-kicking.! \u2026 I did not deserve that \u2026 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Oh well too bad.\u00a0 .\u00a0 .<\/em><\/p>\n

Detectives interrogate me at my Hospital bed-side for all of 5 minutes . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWho did this. We can not help you if you don\u2019t tell\u00a0us.? \u201d \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u00a0 profess to them: An assortment of kindergartners attack me in the schoolyard. I was lucky to get away.\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIf we\u2019re going to follow-up on this, and find who did this to you.? You need to tell us\u00a0 who did.? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

I remain silent. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSuit Yourself.\u201d He replies with a stern demeanor. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Never heard from them again . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Two days later the Brothers find out that I\u2019m a ranking member of The Scorpions. Now they\u2019re alarmed, because they recognize what\u2019s coming their way..<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m told that, Minerva was pull from school,promptly sent back to Puerto Rico. They assumed I might retaliate, by harming her.?<\/em><\/p>\n

A week later they send a family acquaintance to the Hospital Ward to apologize for the their misunderstanding and my mistaken ass-kicking . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

The family friend is entirely\u00a0an arrogant dick about it.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou I should had known better. She was already promises to be married in Puerto Rico, when she finished High School next year’ Bla, Bla, Bla..<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0A small detail which she never mentioned\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I tell him: Go Fucking Home.!\u00a0 While you\u2019re “still not!\u00a0 an Emergency-Room-Patient\u00a0 here.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Four months later, I started scouting for them . . .\u00a0 I caught-up with\u00a0 8, of them that had join in while I was on the floor. They got what I got and then some. . . The older brother got it the worst; I made certain of that. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Catching up with Jorge. We\u00a0 force him into a car we had stolen. Blindfolding him, drove him\u00a0 to a nearby abandoned Building Basement we used for illicit activities.. He\u2019s restrain bye five of us, and tied to a chair.,<\/em><\/p>\n

Breaking down crying he pleads, not to kill him. ( Which of\u00a0 course we\u2019re not.)\u00a0 We torment him for about an hour, while we wait for Two of The Enforcers who might kill him?\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

When they join us he\u2019s held him down;\u00a0 his face is muzzled, his hands are already tied his feet bound. One of the Enforcers takes out of his trench-coat a “San-tel Pruning Shear. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s, one nasty, Motherfucking ‘Shear\u2019 that’s use to cut 3’ inch branches . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

They cut-off his Mother-Fucking right hand Index Finger, at the Knuckle. The blood shots out like a hose. As He utters a prolonged stressed dull cry of expressive agony as he squirms,with duct tape across\u00a0his mouth .<\/em><\/p>\n

We wrap his dirty blindfold around his hand, while he\u2019s threaten, by the Enforcers. <\/em><\/p>\n

“We will kill you and your whole \u2018Fucking Family even that, Tasty Sister of yours, if\u00a0 you give us up to the cops “. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018He\u2019s never been able to point again with that finger’ . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018 That Finger.? . . . Rats Maybe.?<\/em><\/p>\n

The younger Brother sent away the next day to-who-fucking-knows-where.? A message is sent to his family bye the enforcers. If he were to ever return to New York, they be waiting for him. . .\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

‘One year from now, Five years\u00a0 from now. He\u2019s theirs\u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

The Dealer:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Johnny with his stolen auto parts business, buy\u00a0car parts from the junkies, hawking them across Town. The condition of the Auto Parts was a consideration at\u00a0 times. Most of\u00a0 were moderate quality. . So they moved slowly.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dealing pot was quicker money. I could make some $200.00 a month, but weed\u00a0 sales were on the\u00a0 decline\u00a0 because\u00a0 of the Heroin which\u00a0 suck. \u2018I was very\u00a0 grateful\u00a0 for the $200.00, a\u00a0 sufficient\u00a0 amount, that save us from becoming homeless \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Heroin was developing into the\u00a0 New Big Boy In The Ghetto. An epidemics, true beginning of a people\u2019s demise. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t\u00a0 touch Heroin\u2019 as a product that I could move, extremely risky\u00a0 with much longer prison terms. Seeing two friends\u00a0 tragically die from overdoses at arm\u2019s length finding another with the homemade, eye-dropper hypodermic dangling from the still warp tourniquet arm; was more than enough to keep me the fuck away\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dealing\u00a0 weed to improve our meager lifestyle, priceless\u2019\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

While giving\u00a0 my Mother a couple of\u00a0 hundred dollars one morning she, ask . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is this money coming from.?\u00a0 Since you gave up shoe shining Six months after turning fourteen.?<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s my \u201cMonthly pay\u201d. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

You know I\u2019m a Stock Boy and Counter Clerk at Ray\u2019s Bodega. I\u2019m there, regularly doing a double shift. That\u2019s why I usually don\u2019t get home till midnight. .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 Immediately get the quizzical raised eyebrow . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cRamon, it seems is paying you quite a lot of money for a Stock Boy and Counter Clark.?\u00a0 If\u00a0 you\u2019re lying and are doing something you shouldn\u2019t be doing and get yourself arrested for it .?<\/em><\/p>\n

Pausing . . . Thinking of what she will say to me next:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou realize you\u2019re on your own.\u00a0 There is No Bail\u2019 to get you out.<\/em><\/p>\n

As an afterthought she says.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI won\u2019t be making an appearance in a Courtroom either.\u201d .\u00a0 .\u00a0 .<\/em><\/p>\n

Nodding my head up and down at her acknowledging that, I\u2019 knew the deal . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I asked my dealer; Muerto: (Death) if he,<\/em> could\u00a0<\/em>fronted me some weight, a pound or two at most.? I had to help in producing revenue for the gang activities and for myself and home.,<\/em><\/p>\n

“I\u2019ll hook you up with customer deliveries first, to our uptown clients. I\u2019ll \u2018give you a\u00a0 Hundred a week and a bonus if you hustle on deliveries. And bail-out for possession and a lawyer with your turnover of the product. Until you Prove yourself, then will talk weight.”<\/em><\/p>\n

On one of my first weekends dropping of a pound, I have a real panic. When I\u2019m almost busted on a delivery . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Getting off at the Mosholu Parkway Subway Station . I head towards the stair exit within the crowd, staying invisible was crucial while staying in plain sight. Starting down the exit staircase;<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 realize there are Three cops standing at the bottom. An older looking man standing alongside one of them; the\u2019 cops are pointing out men as they descend the stairs. <\/em><\/p>\n

As two of them halt and pull aside suspected Black and Hispanic individuals.<\/em><\/p>\n

If\u00a0 I turn around and head back up.? They\u2019ll notice.!\u00a0 \u00a0Fuck it, keep walking down . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Getting to the last of the landings just before the bottom of the stairs; I can hear the cops saying ..<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIs that him.\u201d?<\/em><\/p>\n

And he\u2019s pointing directly at me. . ,<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cDoes he look like the \u2018Mugger.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

If\u00a0 I\u2019m stop and they say what\u2019s in the sack.? I\u2019m fuck. ‘<\/em><\/p>\n

Nothing officer it\u2019s just a pound of Panama Red, and the loaded Gun is for convincing\u00a0 people not to take it away from me. \u2018Hey, it\u2019s a special delivery.!<\/em><\/p>\n

The elderly man quickly say.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo he\u2019s too young\u201d I can kick his ass.\u2019!\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Obviously Insulted . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m wave on by the Cops. I was shaking all over. If I had been stop and frisk, I\u2019 would had done some serious time somewhere . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

That should had been enough to make me find something more legitimate.? At almost Sixteen and one of \u00a0the essential supporters of the household.<\/em><\/p>\n

Even if\u00a0 it\u2019s from dealing. Surely, what the fuck else would I do.? A job at McDonald\u2019s.? Oh shit there weren\u2019t any.\u2019\u00a0 A\u00a0 Supermarket stock boy at Fifty cents an hour after School wasn\u2019t going to do it. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

How about \u201cGo on welfare.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Oops I did not qualify\u201d..<\/em><\/p>\n

Being arrested or killed, stabbed beaten on the street did in fact weigh heavy on my mind, all the time. Everyday I\u2019 step out of our apartment, every day I\u2019 was taking a chance on not making it back for supper; but to the morgue in a body bag.<\/em><\/p>\n

Death followed me around every day, waiting for it\u2019s turn . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

The Hustle: Part One. . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The only way for us to keep from being on the street homeless was for me and my Brothers to hustle any which way we could because there wasn\u2019t any help coming from anyone, anytime or from anyplace.<\/em><\/p>\n

Were poor living in poverty, unschooled, not worthy of the \u201cAmerican Dream\u201d\u00a0 living in the ghetto was a reminder of that factor . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Our family and society, had abandoned us at the time of the old man\u2019s death, with relative\u2019s and social injustice like that who needs enemies.? \u00a0The so call \u201cSocial Net\u201d that was supposed to be in place was nothing but bull shit ..<\/em><\/p>\n

So things went pretty much along those lines for us\u2019, \u00a0but slowly my mother saved up enough of the money I had been giving her over the course of\u00a0 a couple of years. She saved enough, to guess what? fucking move.!! The women was nuts.!! Two\u2019 years \u00a0of saving $1, $2, $5, $10 dollars weekly.<\/em><\/p>\n

She was getting less cleaning gigs to do, she starts Ironing shirts and that help but at ten cents a shirt she had to Iron a lot of\u00a0 fucking shirts.\u00a0Louie had taken over my shoe shining job but what he brought in was minimal.<\/em><\/p>\n

City Hall should had put her in charge of the city budget, \u00a0at that time the city was talking about going into bankruptcy\u2019 Mayor Robert Wagner, would had gotten Re-Elected \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

My mother did not like where I was headed, she was tired of keeping me \u00a0Louie, \u00a0Johnny on a straighter path, not that she was tried just that she felt that she would lose the fight of keeping us out of \u00a0jail or the cemetery but she was close to losing it..<\/em><\/p>\n

she was not going to have that, plus I got tired of her once in a while hitting me with the small bat. When I Disobey her she\u2019d crack me with it.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Hey we were very mischievous\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

And she was the dispenser of\u00a0 \u00a0discipline. She never remarried, when Johnny had asked her one day why doesn\u2019t she Re-married, she said and I quote:<\/em><\/p>\n

“Get Marry again .? Why, so that I\u2019d have to cook, clean, do laundry, Iron, be beaten\u00a0 abused verbally.<\/em><\/p>\n

Told what to do. While they sit around, watching TV.? Eating, Farting\u00a0 and getting Fat\u2019 \u00a0No thank you.! Twice in a lifetime was enough.”<\/em><\/p>\n

We were so unaware of the world outside the Bronx, seriously unaware I mean unaware.\u00a0 It was at least Two years after I turn 15,\u00a0 before I realize people actually lived in their own \u00a0homes out in the suburbs.<\/em><\/p>\n

We thought that was all made up for television. Our world was only as far as we could see from the rooftops.Anything farther than the Empire State Building or outside the outer\u00a0 Boroughs did not exist at all \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

The distance of the horizon from the rooftops of The Bronx was where our world ended. There was no reason to believe otherwise just like in the 14th century the world was truly flat to us. \u2018<\/em><\/p>\n

Never\u00a0 going further than the skyscraper\u2019s glow that oozed into the stars, becoming\u00a0 part of the Universe\u2019. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Spending a lot of times on the roof tops, hanging-out, target Practicing, Shooting Pigeons, and drinking pluck, (Thunderbird wine ) Smoking Pot and throwing shit off them.<\/em><\/p>\n

It \u00a0was a favorite, pastime and place for daydreaming or escaping the reality of the ghetto.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0Fireball, Rat-Run<\/span> . . .<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

We found a Cage like the one\u2019s \u00a0used to \u00a0catch rabbits or small game, uptown somewhere. It was made of chicken \u00a0wire about 16\u201d bye 10\u201d with a \u00a0metal plate bottom and front\u00a0 flap that tilts back to open.<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u00a0 became\u00a0 used for a favorite\u00a0 pastime: Catching Rats. We\u2019d Set it up in the\u00a0 building\u2019s Basement. We baited it\u00a0 with chicken legs.<\/em><\/p>\n

The rats would \u2018d crawl in, to eat the and fine\u00a0 no-way-out.\u00a0 Fireball Rat\u00a0 Racing was born. It went\u00a0 like this: We\u2019d Set\u00a0 up the cage trap the beginning of the week, way back\u00a0 near\u00a0 boiler room.<\/em><\/p>\n

Four or Five\u00a0 days\u00a0 later\u00a0 we\u2019d go down,\u00a0 to find, one or two,\u00a0 sometimes maybe\u00a0 three rats.\u2019 Usually one or both would kill the other or each other. Hungry,\u00a0 trapped for days their fucking, rabbit, squealing and shit. . \u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

These rats were huge, cat size and full of anger, they hadn\u2019t been fed, trapped for days . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Before we bring the cage up\u00a0 to the roof.\u00a0We\u2019d\u00a0 douse them with Gasoline in the\u00a0 Buildings alleyway. (We did have sense enough not to set the building on fire by not\u2019 dousing them on the roof.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Once\u00a0 on the roof we\u2019d\u00a0 put the cage on\u00a0 the stone overhang, along the\u00a0 building\u2019s\u00a0 edge, which\u00a0 face a huge empty lot on one size. Now this was dangerous shit man. One false move you\u2019d go over with \u00a0the fucking\u00a0 Cage and rats.<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019d get the cage line up with the drop off \u2018 edge; needing three of us, one to hold it, one to tilt back flap and one to light them up.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

Just before the Lid is open we strike a book of matches, dropping it on top of\u00a0 the cage.<\/em><\/p>\n

Fumes would instantly ignite the rats. At the same moment\u00a0 the lid was open, they run right out of the cage. Hurling into the\u00a0 night air like Super-Rat-Fireballs. .<\/em><\/p>\n

Seriously sick shit.! Neighborhood folk look forward to it, sick bastards. We were fucking nuts. . .\u00a0 It was better and easier than the, \u2018Cat\u2019s. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Psychopathic or Sociopath\u00a0Behavior, one or the other possibly.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter<\/span>: 16.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u2018Conflict Zone . . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\u201d I Hate When I Lose\u00a0 things at school like my pencils and papers and life ambitions.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Anonymous. . .\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m enroll at a New High School after, I punch out my 10th grade teacher for calling me a Spic. Transfer to a School in the heart of the South Bronx that was more integrated, they hope that I could avoid mayhem.!<\/em><\/p>\n

At the New High School the day after registering, on my way to the lockers ( New Textbooks underarm) finally arriving\u00a0at them.<\/em><\/p>\n

The bell sounds for the second period class. Chaos ensues as pupil\u2019s spill out of the classrooms,every student was talking at the same time. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Stashing the books in the lockers knowing I won\u2019t need them. I\u2019 get a tap on my shoulder, followed by a deep menacing tone. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYo. I\u2019 need your lunch money.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t turnaround, ignoring him;\u00a0I say back to the voice.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m busy, Fuck off.\u2019 . .\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d MOTHERFUCKER.!! YOU BETTER HAVE SOME MONEY.\u201d!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

While I won\u2019t share his enthusiasm; I nonchalantly inserted my hand into my front waistband; feeling for the 25.cal automatic\u2019s, reassurance’.<\/em><\/p>\n

Perspiration breaks out on my back. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u00a0 wonder: will scaring him be enough.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Johnny had gotten the 25: cal for me as a 15th birthday present and had taught me how to use it before he left for the Air Force to protect myself during the last two years of High School, nice gift. ( untraceable too.!)<\/em><\/p>\n

As I stood there a voice behind\u00a0me says <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c I need lunch money\u00a0You\u2019d better have something otherwise it\u2019s ain\u2019t going to be good for you Motherfucker.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

While he\u2019s poking me in the back with his finger.<\/em><\/p>\n

Mind you it\u2019s my first morning”. <\/em><\/p>\n

I’ countinue to face the locker, ignoring him, and continue to arrange my books. My mind is racing about the fallout and the outcome of this early morning friendly meeting.<\/em><\/p>\n

In those few moments a small crowd had started to gathered around us\u2019 to see the new student being taken off., they started\u00a0 making all these noises and saying shit like.,<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Woo you in trouble now whitey.!<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m fucking Puerto Rican, seriously.\u00a0
<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

I turn slowly to deal with him. I\u2019 find myself \u00a0looking up at him, he\u2019s a foot from my face\u201d he sounds angry; but I know bullshit when I hear it and a bully because of his size \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

The piece comes up swiftly from under my waistband and into his mouth in fewer than 2′ seconds. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s small but when it\u2019s in your mouth, it\u2019s huge.!<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 start backing him back, onto the other side of the corridor with the gun in his mouth.!\u00a0 His lip appears to ooze blood\u00a0 from thrusting it into it, drips onto the piece. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Know what.?<\/em><\/p>\n

You actually pee in your pants and start crying.! Because the person that\u2019s holding that \u00a0pistol in your mouth is, grinning\u00a0 back at you and suggesting to you that you made a mistake about having lunch today.?<\/em><\/p>\n

?. You know you could be dead before noon.?<\/em><\/p>\n

So you\u2019 wouldn\u2019t need to eat lunch.? . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

With the gun in his mouth he starts to stammer.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo I\u2019m not hungry\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

That\u2019s what I thought; If you ever fuck with me again?\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

or talk to me, I\u2019m just going to kill you . . .\u00a0 Now get the fuck away from me.!\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I get a round of applause from the dozen students who\u2019 did not\u201d run away, when he started crying and peeing in his pants\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

First day of School and I already have new friend\u2019s and status.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Can\u2019t wait for tomorrow . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Living in a \u201cpredatory society where most of the people were illiterate, impoverished, fought by unemployed, dwelling in cram dilapidated\u00a0 buildings,rat, roach infested.<\/em><\/p>\n

Traumatized by poverty, bias with extensive amounts of heroin addiction. Powerlessness to anticipate their fate and their prospect for better was zip to none.?<\/em><\/p>\n

What there was, was a good deal of decaying values to bear onto. You either made it out\u2019 on <\/em>your own\u2019 or you vanish in the ghetto..<\/em><\/p>\n

Violence was the element of the culture.\u00a0 .\u00a0 .<\/em><\/p>\n

Watching someone die from \u00a0violence up front outside of a conflict zone, for a civilian was an emotional struggle that stays in your mind for a\u00a0 lifetime. To this day I still see them\u00a0 die in my dreams; \u2018not as often anymore but they make a come back to remind me of their deaths now and then. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I saw two extremely painful \u00a0deaths. One of a small child about 8 years old, the other of a teenager maybe 17 years old, and a few friends I came up with; who died\u00a0of heroin overdoses at arms reach. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

They wanted a way out and they discovered it in a body bag. Stamped with enormous white letters:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cMORGUE\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The second death, I witnessed was a horrid accident and a bloodcurdling sight to watch when you\u2019re 15 years old. \u201cNo\u201d I\u2019 didn\u2019t get therapy, that\u2019s the way it was, you handled it as best as you could. <\/em><\/p>\n

Taking\u00a0 years for the dreams to gradually fade from my mind.. This incident never actually\u2019 has left my mind\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Resting on the stoop of a building on 174 Street, off, of\u00a0 Washington Ave, on a hot summer midday just hanging out waiting for.?\u00a0 ( who remembers.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Sitting on the hand rail, where it has the 3 steps up to the front door with a small landing. Leaning against the right side of the door along the railing.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u00a0 hear someone rushing down the stairs from the upper floors. Their taking the steps \u00a02 and 3 at a time, you can hear them jump just before they get to the last few steps.<\/em><\/p>\n

If you were a child \u00a0and if you lived in this tenement type of building you know what I\u2019m saying; \u00a0you jump off the 3rd or 4th step, right!?<\/em><\/p>\n

Finally hitting the bottom of staircase, I see it\u2019s a boy maybe 8 or 10 years old.\u00a0 He\u2019s 75 feet from \u00a0the stoop entrance to the street.<\/em><\/p>\n

Barreling down the hallway as fast as he can; he rushes past me, jumps off the stoop, over\u00a0 the 3 steps; lands onto\u00a0 the pavement-runs in between two parked cars in front of the stoop, off\u00a0 the curb into the street.<\/em><\/p>\n

Doesn\u2019t stop to look either way, as he flies out and\u00a0 pass the parked automobiles; a Two-Half Ton Truck rolls over him, in front of my eye’s’<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s front right tire wraps him around the tier, like a suction cup, rolling him over twice. . . Then spitting\u00a0 him backwards to be roll over bye the back tires . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

That will give you, Fucking\u00a0 Nightmares\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

There\u2019s wailing from above me on the upper floors; as the truck keeps rolling down the block, doesn\u2019t stop for roughly\u00a0almost another block before the driver realizes he hit a small child\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018 Yeah, he was speeding . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

As I stood there in shock, his mother, rushing out the building. Having\u2019\u00a0 watch him go under the truck from her 4th floor apartment, seeing him die. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I trudge off the stoop: I\u2019 went home; it was a dark day to be out. Life in the ghetto is not worth much. Sometimes those memory come back into my minds eye..<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 cry silently, for not blocking him. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you look at the ghetto, the ghetto looks \u00a0back at you. Death doesn\u2019t let you say goodbye in a war zone nor in the ghetto.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n
\n

Chapter 17th:\u00a0\u201d \u00a0The Hustle, Part Two.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Creciendo puertorrique\u00f1o en el sur del Bronx:<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Raised, After turning Sixteen to stepped up from the junior position of the Gang.. After Johnny leaves for the Air Force, to go on the Lam . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He leaves specific orders that after I’ve turn Sixteen Six months hence; I was to be groom to raise within the Gang. . . Or if I chose\u201d I could separate without reverberations.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m introduced to Bucky and Chiba both are Grifters. .<\/em><\/p>\n

We like each other right away They were easy going and take me under their wings to groom me. They felt the best way for me to learn was for me to live it. Wise words to live by. . . “Never make a mistake, it could cost you your life.” . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Plus, these were two of the toughest people in the Gang, from what I learned. They had both done people, and time at Elmira State New York; so was the rumor.<\/em><\/p>\n

I was not going to challenge it. I\u2019m not senseless or suicidal thought, I\u2019 might express and sound like I am; trust me I\u2019m not.! At least I Don\u2019t think so. . .\u00a0 They introduce me to to a wide range\u00a0of\u00a0 life practices, other than narcotics and the breakdown they produced. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

They were to show me the streets I did not know. Teaching me how to hustle, in areas that I had no notion of. IE: Numbers, Turning Over Stolen Goods, lock-Picking, Hot-Wiring Cars.<\/em><\/p>\n

How to integrate into your environment anywhere how to knot a tie, recognize the Craftsmanship of Stitching on a Suit, the touch of premium fabrics.<\/em><\/p>\n

Know if it\u2019s, hand or factory manufactured. And\u00a0 for starters how to acquire the confidence of strangers in seconds flat . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

How to purchase the perfect shoes, to express\u00a0myself to ladies! (a huge one) pick\u00a0out a Cuban cigar from a counterfeit, buy the right fedora, recognize how full the brim should be.<\/em><\/p>\n

How to try to negotiate\u00a0 in your favor. Details and skills by the time I turn Seventeen . How\u00a0to effective blend within all of culture\u2019s and classes of society.<\/em><\/p>\n

Becky\u2019s\u00a0 primary importance of the Gang was to fine all and any\u201d ways to bankroll the Gang\u2019s activities. None which were legal. Chiba was more of an enforcer\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

A contact approaches Bucky with a Safe-Box Combination, it\u2019s pass on to him for a cut.\u00a0 It sounds like a sure thing. . . He wanted to do it due to its location on: \u201cLong Island\u201d\u00a0 where he can collect\u00a0 $1,000 Dollars\u00a0 debt owed to him\u00a0 by an Ex-Con.<\/em><\/p>\n

Who deals in the area and happens to work at a Diner for cover as not to bring attention to himself; works a 1\/4 mile away from the target in\u00a0Massapequa on Sunrise Highway on Long Island, of all\u00a0places. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThe contact of the gang\u00a0\u00a0works on a Delivery Truck, that delivers\u00a0 a few times a week to restaurants in\u00a0\u00a0Massapequa Long Island. He informs us\u2019 that over the last 3 weeks after their\u00a0delivery at this restaurant they have\u00a0lunch.<\/em><\/p>\n

One week a month ago, he\u2019s sitting\u00a0 in the\u00a0rear\u00a0office while his\u00a0 Boss\u00a0talks\u00a0to the owner upfront. While sitting at the desk; he\u00a0\u00a0realizes he\u2019s\u00a0sitting\u00a0next to the Safe-Box.<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u00a0glances\u00a0towards the\u00a0front\u00a0of the store see\u2019s the\u00a0boss\u00a0 still,eating and\u00a0 bull shitting\u00a0 with the\u00a0proprietor; who\u2019s\u00a0 just out of his\u00a0field\u00a0of sight.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI started playing\u00a0with the Safe Tumbler. \u201cI\u2019m just\u00a0turning\u00a0it back and forth to\u00a0see\u00a0if I can\u00a0open\u00a0it. Five\u00a0 minutes of this nothing.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 look up, from leaning over it; I\u2019m staring right at the phone and on the\u00a0dial of the phone is the number, printed on it. Trying\u00a0various\u00a0combinations\u00a0of the\u00a0phone\u00a0number. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

On the third\u00a0tried. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018It Opens.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s packed with cash.! I don\u2019t touch it, I realized that they would know; I was in the office, I\u2019d be busted\u00a0\u00a0for it\u2019 I close the safe door and spin the combination.<\/em><\/p>\n

Curiosity\u00a0gets\u00a0the\u00a0best\u00a0of me. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I lock and open it\u00a0 a few more times, I quickly wrote\u00a0 the phone number down.\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Bucky:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHow much did you take\u201d.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cJuan-Carlos. None,\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Bucky :<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u00a0 don\u2019t believe it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

It takes awhile for\u00a0 me to believe\u00a0 him too . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Chiba and I\u2019 both spoke at the same moment:\u00a0can you reopen it.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAs long as the number is good.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Juan-Carlos: \u201d It was good when I was at the restaurant\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s an all night Diner\u00a0on Sunrise Highway which is a 1\/4 mile away from the station. The train station, half mile walk from the Restaurant called the Western.\u00a0 We can case it as we walk by it. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Having a reason for being in that neighborhood. . . Priceless.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

Bucky obtains the store hours and schedule from Juan-Carlos<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re going on a night they close early, which is a Sunday. Break in after the stop at the dinner.<\/em><\/p>\n

Open the safe take the contents and head back to the Bronx; easy. . It sounded that way\u2019\u2026 All the planing in the world wouldn\u2019t work at all; without the proper tools.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Two weeks later; we\u2019 take the long Island Rail Road out to Massapequa.<\/em><\/p>\n

An hour afterward we\u2019re at the Massapequa\u00a0station. We start our walk to the dinner. As we pass the Western Restaurant. We stop to Look in\u00a0 through window Chiba is trying the front door \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Which is senseless because all the lights are out and it\u2019s totally obvious it\u2019s close.. continuing our walk to the dinner. We frantically think of a way to gain\u00a0entrance, because we\u2019 did not! bring any tools to break-in with.<\/em><\/p>\n

Chiba\u2019s plan was that we were going to smash the back door open\u00a0 bye all 3 of us ramming it at the same moment \u00a0like they do in the Bronx, to the Bodegas\u2026\u00a0 No Tools.?\u00a0\u00a0No proof we trying to break in . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

That was the dumbest thing I had ever agree to try.!\u00a0 I had said at the meeting, \u201d In the Bronx that works, but we have to go see it.? To case it.\u201d\u00a0 We won\u2019t know the type of structure, we\u2019re going to break into! . .<\/em><\/p>\n

At the dinner as we walk in the place goes silent,except for the hum of elevator music in the background \u2026 Why you may inquire.? Well Bucky and Chiba are both wearing what some would regard \u201cSuit\u2019s, with the Fedoras; out of place is an understatement.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Long Islanders only saw them on criminals in the films that\u2019s why. . . Before we had left the Bronx; I had told them that they were going to draw\u00a0to much attention by being over dress\u2019 for a burglary.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

Their response was: They wanted to look appropriate in front of the Judge in the morning if we were to get arrested.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

Fucking nuts\u2026\u00a0 \u00a0I was wearing jeans and converse sneakers,\u00a0dress\u00a0for the\u00a0possibility\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cTO RUN\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I was not\u00a0planning\u00a0on being in\u00a0front\u00a0of the\u00a0judge\u00a0at all.!! \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

We sit at the counter and look so utterly out of place.\u00a0Ultimately someone comes over and ask what will you have.? \u00a0Three\u00a0 coffees. As the counter person serves us; Bucky ask \u00a0for his friend Ramon\u2019 the dishwasher.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s off on Sundays.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

No problem, we\u2019re just in the area and wanted to say \u201d Hi\u201d . . .\u00a0 We finishing our coffees and head back on Sunrise highway towards the Restaurant. It\u2019s maybe<\/em><\/p>\n

1:am by now, the neighborhood is dead silent.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

The restaurant is situated on a corner; With the Long Island RR on the North-side of Sunrise Highway. There are one family homes on the side streets off the intersection behind the restaurant.<\/em><\/p>\n

There\u2019s a home that you can say was right behind it,\u00a0but actually it\u2019s the first home on that road and it splits the Western restaurant from it with a 6\u2033 foot stockade fence.<\/em><\/p>\n

We go behind the building to see if there was a back entrance; our break-in point.\u00a0 Standing\u00a0 there assessing the durability and resilience of\u00a0 the door, its solid \u00a0steel. It doesn\u2019t even shake\u2026 Why we were even perplexed is beyond me.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Let\u2019s do it, and smash it open.\u201d Bucky said\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

We back up, 8\u2033 feet, run into it and bounce right off.!!\u00a0 We do this 3 or 4 times, 6 before we determine it is not going to cave in..There\u2019s another door about 10 ft away Chiba goes over to it and tries it, and it opens.\u2019 Bucky and I\u2019\u00a0 run over\u00a0 to see;\u00a0 its a Bathroom.! We stand\u00a0 there\u00a0realize it\u2019s not going to happen without tools.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m thinking this is a comedy of eras. Three guys out to do a burglary with no fucking tools.!\u00a0 \u2018Dresses like they\u2019re going to a dinner party\u00a0 . . . Poor planning on their part as far as I\u2019m concerned. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Bucky:\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m \u2019s going to go check the side and front doors\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n

Me and Chiba, talk about our options which are none.\u2019 Other than go through the side glass doors\u2019 was our only other way in.?\u00a0 Suddenly.! There\u2019s an enormous crash of glass.!!\u00a0 Seconds\u00a0 later, Bucky comes running from around the corner of the building towards us laughing. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019re like what the fuck was that. He pushes us into the bathroom and tells us. \u201cThe doors were close, so I saw a cinder block\u00a0 outside the door. I pick it up and \u00a0threw it through the side glass door, our way in.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I start screaming\u201d. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

You woke the whole fucking neighborhood.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Chiba is smiling in the corner\u00a0 saying\u00a0 \u201d Far-out man\u201d\u00a0\u00a0over and over . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

While\u00a0 I\u2019m Yelling.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

Bucky continues claiming:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u2019 alarms are going off man.! relax Dude.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I quickly insist that we come up with a cover story if the cops show up<\/em><\/p>\n

Bucky: Will say that we, were walking towards the station; a car drove by threw something at us, we duck in here.?\u00a0 Simply with few details and totally plausible. We stick to it.!\u00a0 \u2018No Matter What\u201d. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He was right\u2019. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Five minutes later there are 4 to 6 Police cars in the parking lot, you\u2019d think that they were responding to a terrorist attack.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Where each drag across the lot to separate cars. We\u2019re all slam against the hoods of the squad cars and handcuffed. While my face is examining the white paint on the hood of the patrol car.<\/em><\/p>\n

I look over towards Chiba in time to see him spit out his upper false teeth into his hands as he\u2019s\u00a0punch in his face. . . They then\u00a0 force him into the backseat.\u00a0 Bucky is being hit with a baton across his back.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m grab by\u00a0the hair and thrust headfirst into the rear of the cruiser,\u00a0landing between the rear and front seats I\u2019m left there till we arrive\u00a0 at the Police\u00a0Station.\u00a0 It was going to be an extremely \u00a0lengthy night\u2026 Separated\u00a0 at the station, to be\u00a0 interrogate.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m\u00a0strip\u00a0search,\u00a0left\u00a0standing\u00a0in\u00a0 my boxer\u00a0briefs,\u00a0humiliated\u00a0by them without a\u00a0second\u00a0thought. . .\u00a0They were\u00a0determined\u00a0to\u00a0get\u00a0us on\u00a0sometime\u00a0from moving\u00a0Heroin\u00a0\u201cThat we\u00a0flush\u00a0in the\u00a0restroom;\u00a0to\u00a0running\u00a0an auto\u00a0theft\u00a0ring\u00a0on the Island, there\u00a0to mark\u2019\u00a0the\u00a0automobiles\u00a0for the chop-crew\u00a0we\u00a0work\u00a0for.<\/em><\/p>\n

In my interrogation room:\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to fuck you with this baton I know you\u2019re all fagots. You fags were giving each other blow-jobs in the bathroom; unless you tell me different.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Me:<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll confess , here\u2019s what happen, while walking by the Western someone throws a brick or something at us from a moving car barking the glass so we ran for cover in the back.<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019 hid in the bathroom waiting it out for a bit when you showed up: <\/em><\/p>\n

Hey\u2019 if you\u00a0\u00a0enjoy using your baton so much, have you try using it on your Mom, Daughter, but your son would probably like it more.? . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He hits me hard with his baton across my back, stomach with\u00a0 3 or 4 quick solid shots. I\u2019m on the floor pretty quickly. One of\u00a0 his buddies makes him leave the room. I\u2019m interrogated for another hour as I lay handcuffed and naked on the floor.<\/em><\/p>\n

After what seem forever, I\u2019m un-cuffed, told to \u201d Get dress, you\u2019re being take to\u00a0 Lock Up\u2019\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

For what.? You never, Miranda Me . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

They put me back in the holding cell. Ten minutes later Bucky and Chiba are also put inside with me. They both look like they\u2019ve been in a bar brawl\u2019 \u00a0they really got an ass kicking that night.<\/em><\/p>\n

We talk among our self and realize we all had stuck to our story none of us caved\u2026 30 minutes later we\u2019re put in a police car and again told they\u2019re taking us to county lock up. . .\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

We had not \u00a0been book.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Fifteen\u00a0 minutes later we were at the Massapequa train station. The two cops come around, opens the doors, un-cuffed us hands Us\u2019 an envelope with our I.D.\u2019s and personal shit.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d The next train going to Penn station will be in, in 5 minutes, get on it and\u00a0 don\u2019t come back to Massapequa; if you know what\u2019s good for you.\u201d . .<\/em><\/p>\n

They start to get back into the patrol car, Bucky says . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cwhat\u2019s the deal man, why are you letting us go.\u201d?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe check out your story, with the dinner that you were in the area visiting a friend: sorry it was a case of mistaken identity.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u00a0 board the train back to where we belong; with the knowledge that we were beaten, physically humiliated interrogate, for no good reason other than their boredom\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Lesson Learned:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Don\u2019t Do A Burglary; without Burglary Tools\u201d . .<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Chapter: 18<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

L.S.D.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

He coolly turns to me. \u201d This sugar cube is not just some ordinary sugar cube, this sugar cube is going to change the world.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong>. . .<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201d Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you .<\/strong>\u201c<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Gayle Forman . . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Chiba gets arrested; goes on to serve Three years. Being pick-up on an outstanding warrant from a year earlier. Can\u2019t remember for what.?<\/em><\/p>\n

That same year the Gang begun to break up. I and Bucky continue hustling and waited for an early release for him from Elmira State Prison. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

One afternoon me and Bucky were meeting in front of Mi Casita Vieja\u2019 on Washington Ave, a small coffee shop we frequent\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s there first:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cLet’s\u00a0go in\u2019 have coffee.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Sitting down at the counter orders a cup for himself. I ask for a class of water. He\u2019 goes into his pocket out comes a Sugar Cube wrap in tin foil.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Bizarre behavior. . .\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Unwrapping it he drops it in the coffee, stirring it gently.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m like give me a fucking\u00a0 break\u2019 \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Smoking before we met-up\u2019?<\/em><\/p>\n

I \u00a0watch as he drinks this cup of coffee with the most deliberate manner \u00a0that I have ever witnessed, someone drinking a cup of coffee. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

So\u2019 I most ask him.. .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

SUGAR AND COFFEE.\u2019 !!<\/em><\/p>\n

He coolly turns to me.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThis sugar cube is not just some ordinary sugar cube.\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

This sugar cube is going to change the world.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m thinking OK; he has completely lost it.<\/em><\/p>\n

I say really.? How\u2019s that.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou will have to sample the coffee.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Right away my mind said \u2018NO FUCKING WAY\u2019 \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Magic sugar.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you a Punk.? Are you.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

No brother, I\u2019m not,\u00a0 ‘you\u2019re just fucking nuts.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThen finish this corner in the coffee cup.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I just stare at him; back at the coffee. Twice,Three times . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I lift the cup, throw it back.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018OK what\u2019s the deal.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Taste like shit.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIt has no taste, the coffee taste like shit .. Brother in about 20 minutes you will never be the same again you\u2019re going on a trip.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m excited for you. That sugar cube was dip in something call \u00a0LSD 25 \u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Never heard of it \u2018 ..<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018We move on to talk about a hustle that involves providing assistance, (Cars and weapons) to a group of Men for 10% of their take plus their use of whatever services they provide ?. .<\/em><\/p>\n

Twenty minutes later, I\u2019m bored with waiting. It\u2019s been a long day. I see through the Coffee Shop window the downtown Bus rolling towards us on Washington Ave . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Bucky: I\u2019m headed back downtown, Mom\u2019s cooking a favorite tonight.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018 Raising my hand, I\u2019 slap him \u2018five. saying\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s talk more about the 10%\u00a0 tomorrow;\u00a0 we should get 20%.?\u00a0 \u00a0. .\u00a0 \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

‘Get help\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 sprint across the avenue; hopping on . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I had an awakening of some kind that night and just like that; I never saw Bucky or Chiba again. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I had left Fort Apache The Bronx, with \u2018Great childhood memories\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018The trip was incredible ..<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019 was right. It did change my life; and the world.\u201d\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

In the fall\u00a0 of 2012: I\u2019m introduced to a dude let\u2019s call him\u2019\u00a0 \u201cJimmy\u201d\u00a0 while visiting an acquaintance who lives in a long Island Ghetto. She has a mouth like a sailor, delusional that she is beautiful and alluring to all men for some reason.?<\/em><\/p>\n

She is at least 60 lbs plus, over her dress size. She grew up in an environment where her father owned a Strip Club dealt Coke \/ Heroin and other assorted drugs out of the Storefront.. She\u2019 was a \u2018Functioning Heroin User. <\/em><\/p>\n

When I quiz her about her usage.? She denies it unequivocally (even though fresh track marks are evident on her arms and between her toes. A total fucking mess: sad.<\/em><\/p>\n

Yes\u2019 I still know people in the hood; even\u00a0functioning heroin users\u2019 \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Jimmy’ had learned from her: About me growing up in the South Bronx.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere in the South Bronx did you grow up,? “<\/em><\/p>\n

Fort Apache on 174th. Street & Washington Avenue.,\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI had an uncle who grew up right where you did, maybe you knew him.? Or of him\u201d.?<\/em><\/p>\n

What\u2019 was his name.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019 went by the name of \u00a0Bucky\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

In a flash of excitement, I yell.\u00a0 Yes.!\u00a0 I did know him, we were good friends.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Where is he now.? lives.? Did you know Chiba as well.? what had become of them.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d I hate to bear sad news: My uncle Bucky died two years ago, summer of 2010. From a Brain- Aneurysm, while smoking a joint, drinking a beer on his Beach Chair at Orchard Beach\u201d \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Sounds like a good way to go. . . .?<\/em><\/p>\n

Chiba; was murdered some 10 years ago during a dope deal gone sour on Bathgate\u00a0Avenue\u201d Two months after serving, 7 Long Days. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019 share some stories of Bucky and Chiba adventures and misfortunes \u2018. .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 Hope you had a great trip Bucky..<\/em><\/p>\n

My trip isn\u2019t over yet\u2019. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

My Mother had anticipated \u00a0the demise of the neighborhood coming long before everyone else. \u2018 More building were bursting into flames daily.\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

The junkie\u2019 population was exploding. Gangs were being crackdown on; then dismantled by the Police.. There was less protection, more of the members were going away and not on holiday either.<\/em><\/p>\n

Friends and their Families were fleeing for Puerto Rico, Yup\u2019 they were going back. Or where headed farther uptown. As if a cancer was permeating from the center . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Within a\u00a0couple of \u00a0years of us leaving almost 60% of the Buildings \u00a0in the\u00a0 South Bronx would be skeleton shells ..<\/em><\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t want to be one of the last. It was like \u201cPuerto Rican Flight.! So she headed to the lower South Bronx. Change the\u00a0 environment\u00a0 change the outcome. Nothing positive was left here; but the death of everything.\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Moving to 161st Street off of\u00a0 Melrose Avenue; which still had decent \u00a0apartments with affordable rents. More of a Middle Class Neighborhood feel, but it wouldn\u2019t\u00a0 last..<\/em><\/p>\n

It had now been practically a year since we had moved from 174th street.\u00a0 My mother decided\u00a0 to move again.! . . .\u00a0 Moving to Melrose Ave, and 159th Street.<\/em><\/p>\n

Giving School officials a reason to expel me for punching out my 11 Grade teacher for calling me a \u201cSpic.\u201d I\u2019m transfer to another school\u00a0 district\u00a0 closer to where I lived, where I could provoke more pandemonium.!<\/em><\/p>\n

I hated fucking school and justly so.<\/em><\/p>\n

At the end of that last school year\u2019 I was ordered \u2018 not\u2019 to come to graduation or the prom. I was an evil seed and a troublemaker.. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

As it turn out at Graduation, there were Two stabbing.<\/em><\/p>\n

One faculty member was beaten. A shootout between two rival Gangs. Two wounded one kill, all together 5 incidents. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSo much for their policy of keeping troublemakers and bad seeds \u00a0from attending Graduation Prom..<\/em><\/p>\n

School is out.!<\/em><\/p>\n

July had come scorching in. . .\u00a0 By now I had dropped out of the Gang with easy; but for\u00a0a few hardcore members it was over. . . A new crop of gangs would soon surface.<\/em><\/p>\n

With names like \u201cThe Savage Skulls, Black Spades,\u00a0 Ghetto Brothers, Viceroys and last but not least The Turbans. They were consistently into it\u00a0with each other. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter:19<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The Departed. . .<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWrong dose not ceases to be unjustified because the majority share in it.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Anonymous. . .\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The rest of that summer we\u2019re smoking reefer and dealing Rorer 714\u2019s. Drinking pluck and breaking night and just screwing with people.<\/em><\/p>\n

One afternoon we\u2019re sitting on the side of the building off\u00a0 Melrose Ave; when 6 black guys are riding their bikes past us. Their from two\u00a0 blocks up on 157 street.<\/em><\/p>\n

Red and Dead-eye what to screw with them so they call them racist names.That they live down the block doesn\u2019t save them.<\/em><\/p>\n

Because just like that scene in that movie The Bronx Tale, four of them spring from the stoop; running up to them as they rode by the third or fourth time beat them with Fist,\u00a0stick-ball bats and empty metal garbage cans. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

They batter the shit out of them\u2026\u00a0 Five minutes later they\u2019re on the stoop laughing and reminiscing, while I scream at\u00a0 them \u201cYou\u2019re fucking racist.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The old timers hanging out at the corner in front of the Bodega consuming their Schaefer beers and playing dominoes. Stop to call them criminals and wimps, dumb-asses.!<\/em><\/p>\n

They\u2019re like: Fuck you.!<\/em><\/p>\n

We don\u2019t what those fuckers on our block; and so on\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

It isn\u2019t long before we see a \u201cMob\u201d of about 20 to 30 of their friends running right towards us;\u00a0 Mothers, Kid\u2019s, Fathers\u00a0 the hole dam block was\u00a0 now chasing\u00a0 after us\u2019 and they all have some kind of\u00a0 bat\u2019 or waving\u00a0 Knives,\u00a0Chains\u2019 above\u00a0 their\u00a0 heads.<\/em><\/p>\n

I think even furniture;\u00a0they sound angry as hell\u2026 The sole thing do.?\u00a0 \u2018<\/em><\/p>\n

Is to run away from them.!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

They chase us \u00a0for at\u00a0 least 3 to 4 blocks before we melt into the rear alleys of the neighborhood\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

A few days later were back on the stoop. We\u2019re \u00a0harassed \u00a0by the old timers.\u201d\u00a0 Yelling\u00a0 at\u00a0 us\u2019 you\u2019re all a bunch of punks they drove you off your block; \u201cYour own Block.!! That went on for weeks during that summer\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

So; after being humiliated you think, we\u2019 would never\u00a0consider\u00a0attacking the neighbors again.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Yes\u2019 we would. . . We did not discriminate<\/em><\/p>\n

A month later, after being run off our own block:\u00a0 We\u2019re sitting on the same Fire escape outcrop, on 159th Street.<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s Two: in the morning, blasted from smoking pot and \u00a0drinking, Mad\u00a0Dog 20\/20, Thunderbird, with an assortment of other liquids\u2026.<\/em><\/p>\n

Some of the last remaining group of\u00a0 White Kid\u2019s\u00a0from a few blocks over on Park Ave; are\u00a0strolling\u00a0past us on the opposite side of the street, and they are minding\u00a0their own\u00a0business.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

We\u2019re\u00a0 assholes pretty much and often. As they walk passed us on the other side of the street. . .\u00a0 Someone suggested something to one of the girls, she replied with\u00a0 you\u2019re a bunch of blockheads or something minor as that . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We have\u00a0a dirty mouth.<\/em><\/p>\n

Her ass comes into discussion and\u00a0 the size of her Tit\u2019s..<\/em><\/p>\n

At which time one guy with them answer to our opinions<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAss-holes Fuck you, blah, blah, blah . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Dead-eye answers with:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll\u00a0 Fuck her in front of your Mother, and so on\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

A foot race ensues: Chasing them as far as 164 Street and Park\u2019 where they run into one of the few Single Family type homes that are still standing in the neighborhood.<\/em><\/p>\n

During the foot-chase \u201cone of the girl takes a tumble with her face;\u00a0they were wearing high Heels and should not been running and maybe we should have not been chasing them either.\u00a0The last of the guys makes it inside; as we run up to the front of the house,<\/em><\/p>\n

We waited for the three Girls to join them inside first; having ran pass them during the chase. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Standing outside and mocking them to come out and fight for about 2 minutes\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

The shotgun blast\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Rip\u2019s through the front glass door and into two of the guys torso. they were standing outside the picket fence entrance and are only hit with, what turnout to be Squirrel Shot or something like that.<\/em><\/p>\n

The cops take Us\u2019 all in for assault and harassment. They drop the charges against us and We\u2019 against them\u2026.<\/em><\/p>\n

Fall is coming\u2026<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

My best friend, and partner in crime Johnny-c, that I spent the last two years on the street with, just received his draft notice..<\/em><\/p>\n

” Carlito I just got my draft notice I’m going to go down and ‘volunteer for the draft”\u00a0 next week.<\/em><\/p>\n

My brother told me that, that way you’ get the benefits of enlisting which are a lot more than if you’re drafted.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Come with\u00a0 me to the recruiting office and we’ll both join the Army in the bubby system.?<\/em><\/p>\n

You’re going to get drafted soon yourself anyway.? “<\/em><\/p>\n

Deadpanning him I don’t know what to say to that at that moment.?<\/em><\/p>\n

The thought never crossed my mind , what did was that, it wasn’t a good idea to join the Army during a war?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Maybe I wasn’t as patriotic as I should have been?<\/em><\/p>\n

I was already being shot at on the streets, of course the advantage in a war zone was that I get to shoot back, but I do shoot back here’… I don’t see a clear advantage””<\/em><\/p>\n

I tell him I’ll give it some thought? ” Laughing ” I say: But I’d first will need to evaluate where I’m at other than on the street..<\/em><\/p>\n

A week later when he’s ready to go down.<\/em><\/p>\n

“So what are your plans Carlito?”<\/em><\/p>\n

I won’t be volunteering, I’m going to\u00a0 wait until a draft notice come’s before I volunteer brother.”<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0That summer he volunteers for the draft, looking for adventure, he asked to be sent to Vietnam…<\/em><\/p>\n

He doesn’t die in the jungles of Vietnam after two tours and a chest full of medals, a mean-ass case of jungle rot, exposed to Agent Orange his body raging from disease, an addicted to China-White’ heroin as a plus ..<\/em><\/p>\n

Two tours later, he’s back in the South Bronx, just waiting to die from it all. .<\/em><\/p>\n

He does die’s on its streets. Shot point-blank with a double-barrel sawed-off shotgun, bye a fifteen-year-old junkie he was scoring from. .\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I missed my friend for a long time.. ‘he was only 21 years old, he had a short one . .<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

The Draft Notice:<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m Sitting at the kitchen table having morning coffee; it\u2019s 2 pm. A Saturday afternoon. I\u2019m turning over the events of last night; at the same time planning my evening \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Through my new friends I\u00a0 had started to date this Puerto Rican Girl with, Caramel Skin and Topaz Eye Color, Hair the color of coal. . .\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

My First Love:\u00a0 Mercedes. She had the most amazing groove to her body, a way\u2019 about her that I believe is unique to Dark-Skin Women only \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Yea, I\u2019 understood the term; \u2018Soul Sister\u201d now. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m wondering: We\u2019ve been getting it on heavy these last few weeks. Her mother is going to a party and her sister and brother are going to be going to the movies.<\/em><\/p>\n

That leaves me and her alone at her parent\u2019s place for 4 hrs and we\u2019\u2026 That could be very bad choice for both of us . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

My mother interrupts, my train of thought:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Son; this arrived for you\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018My Mother throws a letter on the table.<\/em><\/p>\n

I make it out to be from:\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

The\u00a0Department Of Selective Service. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Opening it. I stumble through my mind searching for words, not in my vocabulary. What I can read: <\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m to be at some place called Whitehall Street, Downtown Manhattan.<\/em><\/p>\n

They even provided the subway token.! . . . <\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Thoughtful-Motherfuckers\u2019. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m\u2019 to bring a bunch of toiletries and underwear in case I have to stay or be inducted\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Whatever that meant? That\u2019s almost <\/em>Five months away, a month after my 18th birthday. I should start to worry.?<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know what the rest of the letter stated.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s it about? <\/em><\/p>\n

Did you apply for welfare benefits.? <\/em><\/p>\n

How much are you getting.?”<\/em><\/p>\n

I shake my head back and forth \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a letter saying I’m going to be drafted. They might be sending me to that war they have going on over in Vietnam.? That\u2019s not good.!<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m seeking support, some compassion from her. She slowly shifts from her stove, covers the pot of fresh coffee, turns the heat off; faces me and saying\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOh well too bad\u201d \u2026<\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Its four words that will permanently alter how I\u2019 look at life\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYour body may weather and break, bend in ways you never thought possible. The pain will be unbearable at times. You\u2019ve been here before and you know how to get out, but this path will carry trying times. <\/em>Just remember, you\u2019re not made of steel you\u2019re made of hardened emotional determination and you will persevere\u201d . . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Getting us ready for life by, molding a rough inner shell, for when we confront the raw realities of life.\u2019 Like being on the streets of the ghetto or shipped to war zone.?<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019 were prepared to endure.<\/em><\/p>\n

She knew hardship and was still living it \u2026 Doing so till her dying day.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll just have to crouch and run I\u2019ll miss you. If you go the way Johnny went after they killed Kennedy.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

She\u2019s convince Johnny died in some war with Russia even though I\u2019ve told her that; \u2018No such war with Russia ever happen\u2019.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

She still insisted\u2019 . . .\u00a0 .?<\/em><\/p>\n

We hadn\u2019t heard from him as of\u00a0 Yet.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

\u2018In late October I go meet the army recruiter about the letter I had received in September.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

The recruiter tells me if\u00a0 I volunteer for the draft, It\u2019 gets me\u00a0 two years in the regular army, same as being recruited with the benefits of enlisting ..<\/em><\/p>\n

Most guys who depart with me don\u2019t come back . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Not on their own anyway. .<\/em><\/p>\n

But in body bags. .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll never be the same . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 and Mercedes breakup when she goes off to college across the country \u2026\u00a0 She never comes back to the neighborhood after graduating, who could blame her’ . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Two Years Later:<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u201d The object of\u00a0 life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Emperor Marcus Aurelius<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

On the next-to-last-day in the Army before I\u2019m on my way to the Bronx, but before I\u2019m free of my nightmare.<\/em><\/p>\n

I must check-in with the company First Sergeant who closes his office door cuffs himself to a pole; ask me to strike him so that I can be sent to Fort Leavenworth for 20\u2032. .\u00a0 \u201d No Shit\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sent to see a Master-Sergeant.\u00a0who’s the Base recruiter. (Yea right) Located in a small none script structure on the post.<\/em><\/p>\n

I strolling over towards the building.<\/em><\/p>\n

On the way there, I\u2019m thinking I just might make it out . . . of here’ . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I enter, I look around the room. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

The Sergeant is standing by the window, silent and motionless. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

As if reliving his glorious past. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s built like a Max-Truck, a flat top haircut\u00a0 piercing ice blue eyes a square jawline a face like a bulldog \u00a06\u20196\u201d weighing 250 Lbs plus\u2019 a starch uniform; it’s creases could cut your hand.<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019 looks like he\u2019s been in every war since the revolutionary war.<\/em><\/p>\n

The walls are covered in re-enlistment posters illustrating the marvels of re-upping\u2019 for the rest of your existence. I\u2019m depressed just by looking at the walls. I\u2019 come to attention in the front of the desk:<\/em><\/p>\n

Specialist 4th-class reporting:<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019 doesn\u2019t tell me to at-easy, so I stay at attention..<\/em><\/p>\n

The one thing that stands out the most is over on an opposite wall.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Why it\u2019s a \u201cConfederate Flag\u201d A nameplate hangs; mid-way down, it reads:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHonored to be from Alabama\u201d\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

He turns around and walks over to his desk sits down; I hand him my file while still at attention. He opens it looks over it.<\/em><\/p>\n

I swear he\u2019s not reading any of it.? . .<\/em><\/p>\n

looks up at me and says . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve previously read your file and you belong in a shit hole somewhere not in <\/em>this Man\u2019s Army, you Spic\u201d\u2026\u00a0 end quote\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

Someone informed him I was coming bye.?<\/em><\/p>\n

I reply:<\/em><\/p>\n

Yes, I did refuse a direct order to shot civilians, I just didn’t\u00a0have it in me to execute all those Women and Children.<\/em><\/p>\n

Master-Sergeant<\/em>:<\/p>\n

“THEY WERE ‘VIET-CONG”!!!<\/em><\/p>\n

It turned-out that they weren’t, but he decided not to mention it.,\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I went on:<\/em><\/p>\n

‘That kilo,of Marijuana in my tent was for personal use not for distribution, as I was charged with and acquitted of that charge \u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I continue pleading my cause. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Please, If given one more chance I\u2019ll commit; to re-upping for 5 to 10 years. Even grow into a lifer like yourself.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Pleading in an almost crying tone of Voice\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019d do a better job at killing all the women and children they want.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

‘I Mean\u00a0it!!<\/em><\/p>\n

Please let me re-enlist, please\u2019\u2019 I want to kill.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

Signing off on my file without looking up; throws it at me. His coils hands are tightly wound into fists;<\/em><\/p>\n

With an exploding violent red face, he\u00a0Screams\u2019 in an angered voice. .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cGET OUT, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE.!! \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

You degenerate Spic \/ piece of shit.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

As an afterthought..?\u00a0 . . .\u00a0 I\u2019m sure . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I think he might have been heard in the barracks.?. .<\/em><\/p>\n

Having a bad day and it looking like, he hated not being able to re-up everyone.?<\/em><\/p>\n

It had to be that.? It could not be that he was a racist.?<\/em><\/p>\n

I head to the P.X. for some last minute shopping . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0That night I pre-pack my duffel bag with all my uniforms, and all things army\u2019\u00a0 leaving out my chives in a pack Carry-on for a quick exit off Base, in the morning. The next day I go to sign out. I\u2019m done in 30 minutes.<\/em><\/p>\n

To demonstrate my acknowledgment for the wonderful prep talk the day before! Too show, how this new Veteran, that just served 2 years of his life for his country, watching his buddies die in a shit hole in Asia, how I felt about being call:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cA Degenerate Spic and a piece of Shit.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s not forget, \u201cNot good enough to belong in \u201d This Man\u2019s Army.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

My favorite Quote . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve \u00a0prepared a small thank you; if you could call it that\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

On the way off Base after singing out,ending a two year nightmare.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I Take<\/i>\u00a0a quick detour towards the \u201cParade field <\/em><\/p>\n

(where they hold the military ceremonies)<\/em><\/p>\n

I walking to about the center of the field. I dump the contents of the duffle\u00a0bag. I open my carry-on, take out the item; I had brought with the cigarettes the night before at the P.X.<\/em><\/p>\n

A Big Can Of \u201cLighter Fluid\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I spray-pour and spray it all over everything Army; throwing the lighter fluid Can on top of the pile .. Strike a match, it\u2019s time to leave\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

At the gate signing-out; I\u2019 hear fire engines. .<\/em><\/p>\n

I turn to the sergeant[at-arms., There must be a Fire, somewhere\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m ready go home after two years of searching for Immortality in a War Zone\u2019 while living in a hell .\u00a0 .\u00a0 .<\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter 20::<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

December, 1968<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The Bronx is Burning<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201d<\/b><\/em>Thought no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new end..”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Anonymous<\/i><\/span>:\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Home\u2019 after two years of ducking and playing in the jungle; one day I\u2019m in the Swamps the next day I\u2019m flying into San Francisco.<\/em><\/p>\n

Two days afterward, I\u2019m in The Bronx\u2019. . . My mother welcomes me home. She\u2019s happy, but she\u2019s filled with\u00a0 astonishment I\u2019ve made it back alive. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I only wrote to her twice, which I\u2019m certain was in illegible for anyone to read. Since my reading and handwriting skills were very modest at best when I left . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Sleeping for a few days, getting up to eat, bathroom. I have not slept without a rifle in 18 months; the feeling is strange without it.<\/em><\/p>\n

Sleeping was strange..<\/em><\/p>\n

The nightmares and cold sweats have not appeared yet.\u00a0 It will be another 6 months before they kick in at maximum throttle. My mind doesn\u2019t perceive its home. I\u2019m restless as hell.<\/em><\/p>\n

I lie low; I don\u2019t leave the apartment\u00a0 for roughly the Winter Months. Staying close; just short walks to the Bodega that\u2019s it.\u00a0 Till spring breaks \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Few people realized I\u2019m back\u2026 \u00a0A transformation had taken place in my mind..<\/em><\/p>\n

I no longer wanted to be the individual I was before..<\/em><\/p>\n

I had felt a different me\u2019 was emerging. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

‘But it won’t last.,<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u00a0 would be a new challenge that would be complicated to surmount because of my environment. I want to start to grasp how to read and Write and progress to develop my skills, which were at about a Ninth Grade status.\u00a0 I recognize; while I was gone that\u00a0 If \u00a0I\u2019 was to establish myself and get out of The Bronx;<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 would have to master\u00a0more then Basic academic skills.,<\/em><\/p>\n

Having found my way back to The South Bronx neighborhood: \u201cNothing\u00a0 changed\u00a0for the better; but for the worst \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

A portion of all buildings are burnout,in the upper and lower South Bronx. People would set tenements they lived in on fire.! So they be able to move into the New Projects that were going up on Webster Ave. . . Sort of\u00a0 like:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cJumping into the fire from the frying pan \u201d\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I can see that the infection of Washington Ave has appeared to increase here fast. It\u2019s not a positive signal, it\u2019s only been two years. I had missed the anarchists of\u00a0 68\u2019. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Most prominently\u00a0 \u201cThe Detroit Riots.\u201d\u00a0Standing on a street intersection of The South Bronx you would expect they happen here.?<\/em><\/p>\n

All my eyes met was, what look like a World War Two Landscape\u2019\u2026 There was nothing but vacant lots\u2019 or discarded and uninhabited buildings as far as you could see up & down some avenues to their horizons..<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHistorical records show that In \u00a01967\u00a0the continued presence of American troops increased further and a total of 475,000 were serving in Vietnam and the peace rallies were multiplying as the number of protesters against the war increased.<\/em><\/p>\n

Muhammad Ali was stripped of his boxing world championship for refusing to be inducted into the US Army.<\/em><\/p>\n

In the middle east Israel also went to war with Syria, Egypt and Jordan in the six day war and when it was over Israel controlled and occupied a lot more territory than before the war.<\/em><\/p>\n

Once again in the summer cities throughout America exploded in rioting and looting. The worst being in Detroit on\u00a0July 23rd\u00a0where 7000 national Guard were brought in to restore law and order on the streets.<\/em><\/p>\n

In England a new type of model became a fashion sensation by the name of Twiggy and mini skirts continued to get shorter and even more popular with a short lived fashion being paper clothing.<\/em><\/p>\n

During that year new Discotheques and singles bars appeared across cities around the world and the Beatles continued to reign supreme with the release of \u201cSGT. Peppers Lonely Heart Club Band\u201d album.<\/em><\/p>\n

That year also coined the summer of love when young teenagers got friendly and smoked pot and grooved to the music of \u201cThe Grateful Dead.<\/em><\/p>\n

Jefferson Airplane and The Byrd\u2019s\u201d.\u00a0The movie industry moved with the times and produced movies that would appeal to this younger audience including<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThe Graduate\u201d Bonnie and Clyde\u201d and \u201cCool Hand Luke.\u201dTV shows included \u201cThe Fugitive\u201d and \u201cThe Monkeys\u201d and color television sets become popular as the price comes down and more programmed are made in color.<\/em><\/p>\n

Not to be outdone in\u00a01968\u00a0In both Europe and America Japanese imported cars and other goods were continuing to rise and trouble the governments of UK and USA as they worried about industries in their own countries being affected and jobs lost.<\/em><\/p>\n

In the spring of 1968 on 4th April\u00a0The Rev Martin Luther King was assassinated.<\/em><\/p>\n

Robert Kennedy was mortally wounded when he is shot by Sirhan Sirhan.<\/em><\/p>\n

The peace movement had continued to grow and more and more Americans were against the war in Vietnam, and once again more riots occurred throughout cities in America.<\/em><\/p>\n

The music scene was once again set by the \u201cBeatles\u201d and the \u201cRolling Stones\u201d, and fashion flirted with see through blouses and midis and maxis skirts joined the Mini Skirt as part of the fashion trends.<\/em><\/p>\n

There is a Flu Pandemic in Hong Kong and the first Black power salute is seen on Television worldwide during an Olympics medal ceremony\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Cultural shock is an understatement. My head is totally fucked up with what is going on around me and the world\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

All the rules were different from the rules of the ghetto. I would have to learn the rules of residing in a Society with different rules\u00a0than\u00a0the rules I understood and the rules that prevailed in my life . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I had missed a lot during my absence: I needed to catch up with it all. Two months\u00a0 after being home; Louie joins the Marine corp. I hope that, that would be a positive thing for him.<\/em><\/p>\n

A chance to get his act together and just, maybe since he had been acting strange maybe,needing emotional help?<\/em><\/p>\n

I spend\u00a0the spring months job\u00a0hunting; I\u00a0find\u00a0out I\u2019m\u00a0able\u00a0to\u00a0collect\u00a0unemployment for my\u00a0time\u00a0in the Army.<\/em><\/p>\n

I get a\u00a0whopping\u00a0$40.00 Dollars\u00a0a week\u00a0in my\u00a0pocket\u00a0for beer and weed. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I start looking up friends.<\/em>
An abundance of the guys are either serving time or are on a perpetual diet of dope.\u00a0Stealing, Arm Robbery. Mugging people on the Grand concourses.<\/em><\/p>\n

Yea things haven’t\u00a0changed much, just more doping and crime \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Can\u2019t find many of them. The ones I do reach up with; I\u2019 can not have a one-on-one conversation with them about anything but, who do I’ know? Where I’ can score? to celebrate my returned home\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Doesn\u2019t help\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I finally run into my friend Moe. . aka: Red’<\/em>
He\u2019s one of the few White red-haired Irishman left in a Puerto Rican & Black Ghetto. We get a Six Pack, head over to the park to catch-up on everybody\u2019s misfortunes\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Red tells me that most of the guys\u2019 have tuner to smack and robbing the 3rd Ave El for the tokens; which they moved at a 50% discount.<\/em><\/p>\n

Some were looking at \u201cLife starches or 10 to 15 year terms. The others still had not gotten into robbing the neighbors yet.. \u00a0\u2018That \u00a0would come later.<\/em><\/p>\n

Red and I, are two of the dozen that are still not in lock-up or\u00a0absorbed in criminal activities or drug transactions.<\/em><\/p>\n

The others that are still around and not in prison yet\u2019 are the Two\u2019 Billy\u2019s, Johnny.C his brother Frank, Paley, Foggy, Apache,\u00a0Dave and of courses Dead-eye.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dead-eye had lost his left Eye in a High School Gang Fight. Poke in the eye with an ice pick; never wore an eye a patch to cover-up the scramble eye. . . When I ask, he simply said . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m scarier without it\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

It was saddening to learn about everyone\u2019s faith.\u00a0Guys I had grown up with were either dead or serving time. Everyone else was striving to exist.<\/em><\/p>\n

Red and I\u2019 started \u00a0hanging out on Friday & Saturday nights. Hustling at the uptown Pool Halls. Red a serious pool shark who racks the tables on the unsuspecting\u00a0White kids uptown.<\/em><\/p>\n

We frequently went to different pool halls. We bet heavy; after losing a few games of pool. They now think he\u2019 can\u2019t shoot for shit. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

They demand bigger bets . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Then he\u2019d run the table on them for the next 5 games. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019d had to run out of the Bars,once they realize Red\u2019 was hustling them. . .<\/em>Always having to hit someone with a pool stick to make it out the front door is how we’ ended the game. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

A short time later Red\u2019 starts \u00a0dealing, Up\u2019s, Down\u2019s, and Aspirins\u00a0as Rorer 714\u2019s.<\/em>
Anything he could do to make some money.<\/em><\/p>\n

This became the end game that would eventually end his life . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\n

Chapter:21<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

July,1970<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been here before; I know how to get out. .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The whole planet raged with animation. At times, I heard my name in the clamor: <\/strong>The spirit of the abyss calling me to join them in their nocturnal dance.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Isaac Bashev<\/strong>i<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s the 4th of July and I\u2019m staying indoors. Doesn\u2019t help that the dreams are keeping me up. That next morning my Mother,wakes me because of the wailing. As she hesitates over me, then tries to shake me awake, drawing my Army issue 45.cal. from under my pillow . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 Fire . . . <\/em><\/p>\n

The bullet strikes the top of the door frame. . It would\u00a0have\u00a0been bad\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re fucking nuts\u2019,!\u00a0 Get some advice for whatever it is that\u2019s in you.\u201dOr move out because, killing me\u2019 is going to put you away forever \u201c. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

That day I reach out to a dude name Falco\u2019; who I hadn\u2019t seen in a couple of years. He sells weed among other assorted necessity.<\/em><\/p>\n

After telling him I\u2019m back from the Army; That, I’ wasn\u2019t doing a long 10 days.<\/em><\/p>\n

( terminology for Ten years in prison )<\/em><\/p>\n

I was in the Army doing a deuce’<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, I\u2019m sorry to hear that,\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Which would have been worse, jail or the Army?<\/em><\/p>\n

Hey Flaco, I have unwanted hardware, I need to move?<\/em><\/p>\n

(We would suggest the term\u00a0<\/em>Hardware Instead of: Gun’s<\/em><\/p>\n

I have a Stolen Military 45. caliber Fully Automatic. . for sale; Used.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Can I come over.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m still living at my Parents. I\u2019ll come to you,\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Come by in an hour, my Moms will be going to the Bodega: Bring Weed’<\/em><\/p>\n

One hour later<\/em><\/p>\n

A knock brings an unkempt, bedraggled, frail looking\u00a0\u00a022-year-old. . Looking at him, I ask what\u2019s wrong with you; you don\u2019t look good\u2019 Your skin looks yellow or is it Green. . .??<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cDude: I had to go underground, I\u2019m a phantom now.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

You look like death, brother; you better come back to existence!.\u00a0What happen.?\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

No confessions . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThe fucking\u2019 Cops are claiming, I was running Army Surplus guns to those Irish White boys uptown who hang with a crew call I.R.A.s\u2019\u00a0 . .\u00a0 So they want to talk to me; but I\u2019m not throwing up anyone.\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Dude that\u2019s NOT A GANG.! That\u2019s a Terrorist Organization. You\u2019d better be more apprehensive of them, than the cop\u2019s.!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve never heard of them.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

You\u2019ve been shut-up in your ‘Mothers\u00a0 apartment for two fucking years almost?<\/em><\/p>\n

Do you not watch the News.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo; I don\u2019t watch the News, more like the cartoon animations and shit\u201d. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I shaking my head back & forth, I’ take him to my room in the back. I bring out the 45.cal. .<\/em><\/p>\n

He examines it, plays with it; we exchange for it. He delivers; a pound of weed the next day . <\/em><\/p>\n

A year from now this very Gun will be use in an attempt to assassinate of me, and it, will forever change my way of life for good. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

My Mother; now wakes me from down the hallway. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

The social achievements that I had pickup while away had started going by the wayside. My street slang is gradually creeping back into my vocabulary. .<\/em><\/p>\n

I head to the library to find help with my reading, handwriting skills. After a week of this; I\u2019m not doing well with self-teaching myself.<\/em><\/p>\n

I ask the librarian to help me.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe have a Three month <\/em>three night, weekly course. It’s initiates, and it’s repeats every Six weeks . It starts again next Monday at 7pm you can attend if you Like.?\u201d Bring a pencil\u00a0and notebook<\/em><\/p>\n

I sign up for the available reading and writing courses for Immigrants. After the first Six weeks. I restore to attend over the rest of the year on a tri-weekly bases.<\/em><\/p>\n

After the first Six months\u00a0to assess my resolve;\u00a0 I take on a task:\u00a0 Read and seek to understand \u201cAlbert Einstein, Autobiography.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

Reading it, I was overwhelmed with random thoughts of discouragement.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

A<\/em>s, <\/em>I Stumbling through my mind searching for words, not in my vocabulary, just trying to grasped what “The Book’s was revealing to me” . <\/em><\/p>\n

After eight months: I understood enough to appreciate who he was and his marvelous revelations of the universe. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I ultimately get a hearing at the Veterans Administration and <\/em>secure a spot for a Veterans Retraining Job Program.. . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

They Assign me downtown to Battery Park to the Marine and Aviation Building at the very tip of Manhattan; I\u2019m thrilled. . . <\/em><\/p>\n

The Veterans group dialogue is Two hours with 11 other Veterans. We\u2019re told what to wear: Work Boots Coveralls, bring work gloves, blah, blah, blah .\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

They represent it like we\u2019re going to be working on the Ships\u2019 on the West Side Piers. The income is crap, but it\u2019s an opportunity. I\u2019m thinking maybe even Ship out on one down the road.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Travel nice. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

A week later I show up downtown dress and ready to work on the ships.!<\/em><\/p>\n

It was going to be\u00a0\u00a0challenging, but I was ready. At the Marine and Aviation Building they load Eight of us on the back of a deuce\/half;\u00a0 We\u00a0 are driven uptown to 78th Street Piers off the West Side Hwy.<\/em><\/p>\n

When we arrive, \u2018No Ship \u00a0\u00a0\u2026 There is however a dozen very \u201cLarge Brooms\u201d You guess it.<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019re sweeping the fucking piers all along the West Side Hwy\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Everyone was distraught! \u00a0\u201cWe were all Con\u201d into supposing that we were actually going to get theses great Jobs and ultimately make excellent pay.<\/em><\/p>\n

They had dropped us off with this one Nazi supervisor that we\u2019re thinking of pushing him off the wharf within 10 minutes\u2019 of being there, but a few of the guys are vague\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

That first day we work like dogs. Just\u00a0 a 30 minute lunch recess. in N.Y.C. 85* Weather, no water, nowhere to purchase anything, can\u2019t indeed take a piss without being observed by passersby and the cars.\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

The berths aren\u2019t as they are now. There wasn\u2019t crap around but rotting wharves that for some reason they had \u00a0to be swept\u2026 The\u00a0 Nazi supervisor drove us hard all week,\u00a0never cutting us any kind of slack,\u00a0while at the same time degrading us with obloquy<\/em><\/p>\n

The ensuing week; after I had opened my paid envelope and stared at my check, I became distraught. What a fucking joke\u2026 $38.00 for 40 hr.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Slightly less than a $1.00 an Hour.! Before taxes, I\u2019d go home with $32.00 and change. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I made more on unemployment\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 was going\u00a0to strike\u00a0that Nazi with the broom if he\u00a0pushes\u00a0me this week . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

The next day five of us are just finishing our lunch at the edge of the dock. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Walking over toward us, hooting . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou guys get back to Fucking work.\u201d!!<\/em><\/p>\n

We remain there and frown at him with contempt.<\/em><\/p>\n

He yells:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy the Fuck are you still sitting there.\u201d!!<\/em><\/p>\n

As we get up, he makes a motion to shift a few of the guys along; I shift and prod him with the brooms brush hard enough that he stumbles backwards; he\u2019 plunges into the Hudson River backwards. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I flip the broom at him. He reports it. We all said He slipped in. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

So they dismissed and fire all of us \u2026 Funny Shit! \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m resolved to find employment; and not deal drugs, just do them. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Four months after the pier work, ‘My New Way of life, was not looking great. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve\u00a0 wasted the last\u00a0 four months on various jobs. Factory laborer,western Union Messenger, Freight Loader, Produce Clerk, Delivery Boy, Bodega Clerk, Grocery Beggar\u2019s , Moving Company Mover, Numbers Runner. <\/em><\/p>\n

Anything to produce some Pay. Just a cluster of shit low paying \u00a0jobs; design to maintain me without any kind of prospect or a future worth anything.<\/em><\/p>\n

All I prefer was is to not whine up on the Social System Of\u00a0 Dependency. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Within the never-ending cycle of despotism from one generation to the next that continue to now, in the Wealthiest Nation in the world.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Where 1% of the society\u2019s population dictates the state of prosperity for all \u00a0\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Fall: 1970<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

I get a gig working for this guy name Pee-wee he\u2019s 25 years old, owns\u00a0 a soda fountain\/candy store\/ conveniences store; that he finance with drug capital.<\/em><\/p>\n

I start working for him: he pays me shit money. I\u2019 open the place at 6: am, close it at 10: pm. 7 days a week. He promises to instruct me on the avenue to prosperity. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I trust him, nothing else\u00a0looks encouraging. So his whole scene at the store was dealing out of it. I think he was one of the originals to deal pot as a takeout-order.<\/em><\/p>\n

Patrons came in and inquire\u00a0about our lunch special.? What size lunch Special.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Depending on your order:\u00a0 $5. $10. or $20.00 you order a\u00a0 lunch Special or\u00a0a\u00a0 lunch Special with a cover: a\u00a0 lid $25.00. .\u00a0 Any weight \u00a0bigger than a Lid. You\u2019d \u00a0have to come back at a pre-set pickup time;\u00a0 pay up front or leave a 50% deposit..<\/em><\/p>\n

Business was swift. Some of my perks for getting shit money from him, was getting my weed, cigs, soda, candy and other miscellaneous crap from him free.<\/em><\/p>\n

But this job \u00a0took up most of my street time and free time.. Pee-wee had me there 60 to 80 hrs a week.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 started to meet a lot of the neighborhood people while working and dealing out of the store..But I recognized that this was not a long-term career.<\/em><\/p>\n

If anything\u00a0 was a sure thing;\u00a0 I would be doing time at Sing-sing from this employment opportunity . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Once in a \u00a0while;\u00a0 Pee-wee would have to kick some idiot\u2019s ass who would come in, order and decline to pay. Or me having to beat some Ass-hole up with a Bat. . . Just a strenuous job, I would say . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

After Five months I decided It was time to consider new employment opportunities that would put me on a path out of here somehow, or at least make matters easier\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

One week after setting up new hours, He ask me to open for him at ‘ 7:30 am on a Sunday\u00a0 which was my first Sunday off in months.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cCan you do the Sunday Papers, he\u2019 could not get to them that Saturday night. I\u2019ll be there by 9:am, I promise!<\/em><\/p>\n

I’ might get stuck there till 8:pm that night.,<\/em><\/p>\n

He’ doesn\u2019t show up to relieve me at 9:am, as promise\u2026\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

I close at\u00a0 4: pm,<\/em><\/p>\n

On Monday, I dont open and I come in at 12: noon;<\/em><\/p>\n

He yells at me:\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cDude\u00a0 you\u2019re late and what happen Sunday night you close early.? \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I tell him I can’t do it anymore\u2019 the hours are too fucking long. You don\u2019t follow through. I have no life. You\u2019re\u00a0 playing me shit money . . . <\/em><\/p>\n

You never pay me extra money for the long fucking hours; I\u2019m\u00a0 putting in,\u00a0 Ever.!<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m dealing for you.!<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t get shit from it\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

But all the risk.,<\/p>\n

That\u2019s over.! . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I wanted a cut.. 5% on all I move . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Also when I come in tomorrow, I\u2019ll\u00a0 start my shift 9:am, done by 6:pm. During the week, on Weekends, Saturday at 9:am till 5:pm, Sunday 8:am till 3:pm.<\/em><\/p>\n

Monday and Tuesdays, off. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

You\u2019re going to have to close out. .<\/em><\/p>\n

He started with a line of bull shit that was thick\u2019 why, this or that,\u00a0just bull shitting me, on and on..<\/em><\/p>\n

Find someone else, I turn to leave the store\u00a0 \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Reluctantly he agrees. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

What was he going to do close up shop, work.? I had him by the balls. Beside all the customers would only deal with me by now..<\/em><\/p>\n

I get 2% which is more than I expected . . ,<\/em><\/p>\n

A Week later he hires this 16-year-old boy name Tracy who I knew from around the corner. He tells me to train him, but he\u2019s not to handle any of the drugs or cash register.<\/em><\/p>\n

Things go well after that I\u2019m making more money; have more free time to hang out with the girlfriend of the moment who was older than me and had a kid that was 3 years old\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Pee-Wee kept a loaded\u00a0 15:mm Beretta\u2019 in the stock room for me, for when anyone decided they want to make a withdrawal. \u00a0I knew how to use it of course; having been a Small Weapons Specialist \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a quiet afternoon, I and Tracy bored; were in the back of the store stacking soda cans when Tracy see\u2019s it on the\u00a0 bottom shelf of the cabinet above the cigarettes.<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s kept there so when They make me go in the back to get the money and the drugs.\u00a0 It\u2019s handy easily accessible to me to shoot the Motherfucker. Tell the cops we struggle I got it off them.? him.? \u00a0shot him, them? whatever\u2019 with \u201cTheir Own Gun\u201d \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Tracy say. \u201d I want to see it \u201c. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I tell him, the gun doesn\u2019t come of the shelf; he pesters me for a half hour\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I bring it down off the shelf, I drop the magazine from it, I bring it up and put it to his head and say to him; is this how you want to see it! you fucking punk! he starts pleading:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cPlease man, please man\u2019 take it away from my head please.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Do you want to still see it?\u2026I just wanted to scare him \u00a0I cock it \u2026 he starts to cry \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

The roar of the Beretta was deafening in that small enclose area. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 had pull away from his head; pointing it up at the ceiling, then pull the\u00a0 trigger on the Beretta.<\/em><\/p>\n

Pee-wee had put one in the chamber never told me\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I never check. . . stupid of me. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Tracy would have had his brains splattered all over the stockroom, I would have gone to jail for at least 15 years, Pee-wee would have gone away also I\u2019m sure\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

It was enough of a fright to get me to just quit that night\u2026.<\/em><\/p>\n

Two years later during Tracy\u2019s shift, they found him dead in the Storage Room . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Tracy had\u00a0turn to heroin, dies of an overdose right in the back of that storage room where I almost blew his brains out \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Death was waiting for him there all the time. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I was more than ever determined to get out of the ghetto. I call the V.A. Two days later. I go in for an \u00a0interview\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I get gotten my hair trim the night before. Get out the only pair of dress slacks I have, borrowed a tie and\u00a0 Blazer. . I wasn\u2019t coming home without a job\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

At the interview I tell the \u201cVet Rep, I must have a job that will lead to a career of some kind\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

After some 30 minutes of back and forth.<\/em><\/p>\n

He takes out a file and tells me:<\/em><\/p>\n

There\u2019s a job in the mail-room with a \u201cBrokerage Firm at\u00a0 40 Wall Street.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He calls them on the spot sets up the interview for the next day ..<\/em><\/p>\n

The particular work experience I have is:\u00a0 Killing individuals in a conflict zone. Theses are skill I\u2019ll\u00a0 not need on\u00a0 Wall Street \u2018 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

But you never know .?\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Can I\u2019 . . .\u00a0 \u00a0Pull it off.??<\/em><\/p>\n

A week later I start working on Wall Street\u2019 \u2026 I\u2019m working a normal 40. hour week for the first time. Making: $125.00\u00a0 a week before taxes, I\u2019m set!\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Three months in, I ask \u00a0my supervisor, Francisco, if I have a shot at advancemen .?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Francisco: Could I ask HR if I could get in that training program to be a runner on the Trading Floor.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo this is it for, Us. \u201d\u2026 I\u2019ve been here now going on 17 years. Retiring in Three, so if you learn all you could, you could very well step into my position.? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

Well that\u2019s a real relief to know. . .\u00a0 Thanks.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

Now knowing that I am never going to get any further than:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Mail-room-Clerk-Supervisor:\u00a0 Maximum pay after Twenty Years. $35,000. Dollars\u00a0 before taxes..<\/em><\/p>\n

Bored with getting up and out and being there at\u00a0 9:am in the\u00a0 morning. Seven\u00a0\u00a0months in;\u00a0 I lose the suit & Tie. I start showing up at work in jeans and Tie-Dye T-shirts. Hair that\u2019s starting to reach the middle of my back. <\/em><\/p>\n

Full Jesus Christ Bead\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Tripping on Acid one day; spending the day in the storage room. Granted I was\u00a0 smoking weed in the storage rooms everyday so it was a safe place.?\u00a0 \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Nine\u00a0 Months in:\u00a0 I\u2019m Fired.! When I said you don\u2019t have due-course.?<\/em><\/p>\n

HR: I was detrimental to the environment and unprofessional.<\/em><\/p>\n

Whatever that meant . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Early Spring:1971<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Back out on the street hustling and dealing weed, making more money, then on Wall Street. . . \u2018Great hours and my own Boss . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I run into Red\u2019 he tells me he\u2019s hanging out at a club on Jerome Avenue. Dealing Quaalude; on weekends.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou should come by one night. There is a big need for good reefer at the club. . .\u00a0\u00a0You\u2019ll do well selling Nickel\u2019s\u201d\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter 22.\u00a0<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Homeless: 1971<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

To Expect Men Not To Do Wrong Is Madness.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Marcus Aurelius. \u201cMeditation\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

That would be one of the last times \u2018I spoke and saw Red\u2019 alive.Two weeks afterward I head over to Club Cloud-Nine on\u00a0Jerome Ave. Arriving at about midnight there\u2019s a sizable crowd of people in front of the Doors\u00a0 attempting to get in. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u00a0see Red over by the Curb. I wave: He waves me over to him.<\/em><\/p>\n

We exchange hugs slap each other five. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

How\u2019s it going inside.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cA\u00a0 mix crowd of Guido\u2019s tonight, not many Brothers,\u00a0so the\u00a0 D.j.\u2019s music is lame.<\/em><\/p>\n

Disco fever on the Dance floor.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Are the girls fine.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Hot.!\u00a0 Pack with\u00a0 Puerto Rican Girl\u2019s tonight, you know they\u2019re always scorching . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Who\u2019s has what.?\u00a0\u00a0What do you have.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d I\u00a0 have Quaalude; they\u2019re already promised. The dude will be\u00a0 showing up\u00a0 to pick up\u00a0\u00a0all I have, so everything is accounted for,\u201d\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

The Speed Freak of the Club; Chino’ has Blow and Black Beauties and Meth Dimes . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I continue trying to get him to give me a few \u201cQuaalude\u201d \u00a0for a couple of nickel bags.<\/em><\/p>\n

He doesn\u2019t. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018I Left your name at the door, just take care of the Bouncer on the way in. .\u00a0 I head into the Club.. I greet the Bouncer\u00a0; introduce myself, I slide him a lid, as I\u2019m waved in.<\/em><\/p>\n

No cover charge. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I have a few beers, sell Ten Nickel bags of Weed. See a few of the fellows. Approach the ladies; dance a little. I\u2019m done 3: hours is enough I decide to take off.<\/em><\/p>\n

I shuffle out, pressing\u00a0 myself through the crowd towards the Curb for a clearer vantage point; glancing across to the other side as I\u2019m walking through the outside of crowd\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I see Red\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s on the other flank of the crowd off the curb at the boundary of the Pavement . I get his attention; I\u2019 raise a close fist at him. He\u2019 comes back\u00a0with the same jester. He\u2019 waves to me to come over.<\/em><\/p>\n

As I walk towards Red, I notice a kid not older than 18 years old coolly walking\u00a0 through the outer crowd towards his right\u00a0 side. The one he had been expecting.?\u00a0\u00a0Or look to me like; He\u2019s come back.? . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Without any expression; brings a Gun\u2019 to the right-side of his head. One shot rowers from it into it his Skull. Spraying brain matter and blood onto moving traffic and\u00a0 everyone within 10 feet. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Red is dead before he hits\u00a0the Black-Top.<\/em><\/p>\n

In a flash there\u2019s mayhem\u2019 everyone is breaking in a million directions I scrambled towards my best friend. He lay dead at my feet, his brains all over the street behind him.<\/em><\/p>\n

The kid had broken off into the night with two dozen others that ran-off when they heard Gunfire..<\/em><\/p>\n

Never to be caught\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

It had developed so sudden, I never had a chance to warn him. Red knew something I recognize that when you\u2019re waiting for death you didn\u2019t have to wait long in The Bronx to meet it\u2026 I don\u2019t linger for the Cops, I don\u2019t have the answers for them and I\u2019m holding.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 move on\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

A week afterward I find out that Red was executed for moving. \u201cAspirin as Quaalude.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The yield.? His life\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..<\/em><\/p>\n

A month thereafter I\u2019m back at the Club; This time just to \u00a0Party\u2019 like everyone else. At 3: am I\u2019m headed back to Melrose Ave. It\u2019s a good Two Mile walk downtown Via-The Grand Concourse then crosstown on 161st. to Melrose ave\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

The roads are deserted as I reach 162nd Street; I see a man\u2019s silhouette standing on the\u00a0\u00a0opposite Street Corner beside a Street Lamp. As if he\u2019s\u00a0 waiting to cross over. . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

There isn\u2019t an automobile anywhere on the Avenue. He\u2019s not crossing over; just remaining there\u00a0 leaning against the Street light. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I get a sense of uneasiness as I walk towards the corner. Something seems off.<\/em><\/p>\n

Striding\u00a0 along the Buildings maintaining a distance of maybe 8 feet. As I get to the corner, I see the piece come up ..<\/em><\/p>\n

I freeze, slowly turning\u00a0 towards\u00a0 him. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Thinking fuck me\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

He says:..<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cCome over to me\u201d \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I cautiously walk over till I\u2019m about 3 feet from him.<\/em><\/p>\n

He keeps his arm with the Gun at eye height; asking for everything I\u2019ve got.<\/em><\/p>\n

Which that night is nothing.!\u00a0 (That\u2019s why I\u2019m walking)\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

In that brief moment As I answer him with \u201d I don\u2019t have any monies\u00a0dude.’\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I realize he\u2019s weaving back-and-forth; nodding off for very brief moments.<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s fucking Wasted.! As he appears to nod-off repeatedly.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSlurring, Give me your Mother-Fucking-Money-motherfucker.! \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

I take Two swift strides forward to the right of his inside right Arm inserting myself into and alongside his right arm; wrapping my right arm around his, gripping\u00a0him by the right wrist\u00a0 with my left hand. <\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 ripped the handgun out of his fucking grip, as I drag and bring down my weight down on his right arm.<\/em><\/p>\n

Forcing him downward as roughly as I could,\u00a0smashing his face onto the concrete pavement. Pistols wiping him across his head and face a few times . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I leave him with a gash in his head with a face that I\u2019m certain both would require, lots of stitching up\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I insert the Gun in the small of my back, immediately walk away. When I get back to my place. I\u2019 cracked open the 38: Snub Nose: It has no cartridges in the chamber. It\u2019s an empty\u2019 fucking chamber.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

I move the Gun the next day.<\/em><\/p>\n

I call Flaco\u2026 \u00a0$50.00 Bucks.!<\/em><\/p>\n

I have monies for the rest of the week. I have to find a situation out of the Ghetto, otherwise I\u2019m going to die here. Or spend some considerable time in prison..<\/em><\/p>\n

A few weeks thereafter I learn very bad News that one of my Best Friends I used to run with; Johnny C. .<\/em><\/p>\n

Walking his\u00a0 German Shepherd at 3: am He takes two barrels from 4: Feet away\u00a0 from a Sawed-off to his Face, Chest, Rib Cage. The blast also kills the Dog with the upward spray of buckshot.<\/em><\/p>\n

When it saw the sawed-off it instantly jumps toward him; the 13-year-old junkie jerk himself backward falling away from the dog while letting both barrels go.<\/em><\/p>\n

( So much surviving two Tours in Nam)\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Only to have his life end in the Gutter of a ghetto street, Shot dead by a 13-year-old junkie. . Violent just seem like it was a constant daily drilled . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Within a few months of Red’s\u00a0death, my life had slowly declined.<\/em><\/p>\n

My Mother puts me on notice one night:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d You\u2019re not doing anything constructive or productive, not paying rent, or food. Nothing.! Not working, dealing drugs hanging out with the neighborhood garbage.<\/em><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t have you here putting my safety in peril. If you don\u2019t do something constructive with your life while you live here in my home: I\u2019ll be putting you out, if you don\u2019t straighten out.\u201d \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I vow to do better;\u00a0 which I don\u2019t . . .\u00a0 just worst<\/em><\/p>\n

She changes the locks on the door a week later; after some junkies come looking to Score from me\u00a0 \u00a0. . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Once a week she lets me in to bathe eat a decent meal, shower, otherwise I\u2019m sleeping on the rooftop stairwell or wherever I can crash on someone\u2019s couch. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Now I\u2019m homeless . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

For two months now I have been panhandling up on 161st. in the facade of the Supreme Court Building during the day.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

I make a few dollars from the Lawyers and Judges coming in and out the courthouse.\u00a0 At night I break into cars on the Grand concourse for whatever I can move the next day.<\/em><\/p>\n

I meet this other Hippie\u2019 who, likewise\u00a0 is working the stairs entrance of the Courthouse.<\/em><\/p>\n

When we become more friendly, we merge our panhandling moneys together for beer, pot on a daily basis. <\/em><\/p>\n

He lives with his parents who I meet they welcome me into their family. Tom and his family are one of the few whites left in that neighborhood. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s an \u2018up-and-coming Artist and a damn good one. The kid had it all, Blond, Blue eye \u00a06ft tall lean with chiseled facial features only 20 years old surfer’\u2026 We became good friends.. <\/em><\/p>\n

He appears to live up the street from the courthouse. . Tom had\u00a0 dropout of \u00a0F.I.T. in New York City to be able to pursued: as he calls it. \u201d A Wider Universal\u00a0 Artistic Spiritual Mind Set. \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

We spend the days panhandling there. Tom emboldens me to stay away from my neighborhood, not that, that compels me to resolve my destructive behavior just that he\u2019s a higher influence on me\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

He introduces me to his girlfriend she introduces me to her Sister; that I start seeing. Three weeks later the Sister breaks up with me, realizing I don\u2019t have much to offer. She seems too paid for everything and I\u2019m always high ..<\/em><\/p>\n

So I stop hanging out with Tom at beginning of that Fall. As much as I try I kept shooting myself in the foot and could not seem to get it together for very long. I wander back into the neighborhood<\/em><\/p>\n

One afternoon I\u2019m standing in front of my Mother\u2019s building waiting for my friend Freddy. Freddy had also served a dual\u00a0Tour in Nam.<\/em><\/p>\n

As I\u00a0Linger in\u00a0 front of my mothers building waiting for Freddy. Five of the block junkies come up to me, one of them puts a gun to my waist; whispers in my ear to go into the building. Inside he takes me off for the $5.00 I Panhandle that morning \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m like guys: I live on the block, I\u2019 live in this\u00a0 fucking building.! I\u2019 know who you all are.! \u2026 I\u00a0 had given it up easily\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t going to die over five dollars\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

The next day we caught up with the dude with the gun\u2026 Me and Freddy kick his ass,\u00a0right in the middle of the streets we got a round of applause from a few of the old ladies they would rob on check day\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

We also caught one other dude\u2019 we gave him a few whacks, sent him on his fucking way. We were demonstrating a position that you don\u2019t take off\u201d people that were living on your block.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

Things had gotten so bad that I now was sleeping on a Park Bench or the Stairwell of my mothers Building. One night I\u00a0 fell asleep on a Park Bench of the Kiddy Park on on 161 Street. I woke up to being robbed by half a dozen guys. Shaking me down for money.<\/em><\/p>\n

They realize that I\u2019m homeless, as they start to walk away saying to each other that they should go over to the Grand Concourse to Mug. . .\u00a0 I ask\u00a0 if I\u2019 can go with them to help with the muggings.?<\/em><\/p>\n

They don\u2019t take me with them; Instead telling me if I pursue them\u2019 they would execute me. Good advice.! \u00a0So I \u2018do not accompany them. I laid down on the bench and wonder what\u2019s my next move.?<\/em><\/p>\n

A week later on my way home from El Barrio by way of\u00a0 The 3rd Avenue Bridge on 138th Street. I taking a walkway to an underpass that runs underneath the Harlem River Drive at the base of the Yankee Stadium parking lot.<\/em><\/p>\n

Two black guys approach me from the overpass and stop me. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m Stone I\u2019ve been drinking pluck and smoking dope and just floating on my way home. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t understand a word they\u2019re saying, other than they’re asking me for cigarettes or money?<\/em><\/p>\n

Honestly I can\u2019t remember. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Suddenly one of them reaches down slides both of his hands into my front jean pockets, kneeling down at the same time; rips them straight down as he knelt.! <\/em><\/p>\n

They\u2019re astonish nothing Falls out of the pockets.!! Standing there both of them start freaking out.<\/em><\/p>\n

All I can say to them is:\u00a0 “Wow\u2019 What the fuck man.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

They turn and run back up the saddle of embankment towards overpass laughing. It was just a big bummer at the time. It was my only pair of jeans. <\/em><\/p>\n

The pocket flaps laid on the floor at my feet. I picked them up stuff them into my back pocket and thought; I\u2019ll just Stitch them back on.?<\/em><\/p>\n

One other time when we went to Score some drugs up on Brook Ave. ( Just a few blocks from the 48th Precinct) Swear to god.! <\/em><\/p>\n

None other than the \u201cGodfather of Soul\u201d himself was getting out of his Limo and going upstairs to score from our guy.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

His Handlers\u00a0 yell at Us\u2019 to stay the fuck away from the building until their business was done and I don\u2019t think we could ask for autographs. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We hung outside with everyone that was waiting to cop, till he came down.<\/em><\/p>\n

I see a few of the other guys go to prison. Two Overdose in my arms, both die. What really discourages me from doing smack is\u00a0knowing how strung-out you got. <\/em><\/p>\n

My life was already fucked up.. .<\/em><\/p>\n

The ones that are still hanging out are robbing the neighbors apartments during the day. I\u2019m afraid it\u2019s just a matter of time before I\u2019m strung-out myself and over on Rikers Island waiting to go up state, or some other shit-hole.<\/em><\/p>\n

My mother\u2019s words echo in my mind. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou will\u00a0 eventually will have to face up to the consequences of your actions. I\u2019m afraid you\u2019ll reap what you sow.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I should have listen to her\u2019 I was reaping what I had Sow’\u2026\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

‘My life was so fucked up! . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter:23<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Homeless Part Two<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201d A pessimist see the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Winston Churchill\u2019 . . .<\/span>\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Almost a year now that I’ve been homeless, I’m glad it\u2019s one of those warmish February days . . .\u00a0 I head towards Melrose from crashing\u00a0at Toms . . . I heard Eddie was out, which I didn\u2019t believe. Red had told me he was doing a life starch in Southern Alabama.\u00a0 . . .\u00a0 Maybe; I\u2019ll run into him.?\u00a0 . . . .<\/b><\/em><\/p>\n

Book Two: Chapter: 24. <\/b><\/em><\/span>Part One\u00a0<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Is He A Desperate Man.? . .\u00a0<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

“All Men Are\u00a0 Desperate When They\u2019re In Love\u201d\u00a0 . . .\u00a0<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Hilda\u00a0<\/strong>Mendez\u00a0<\/b>. . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Reconnecting with Victor and Hilda in Bayamon. (A small township just 25.Miles West from Rio Piedra.)\u00a0 On a beautiful Saturday Caribbean\u00a0 morning; <\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Manny ask me to go to Bayamon to chaperone Hilda. I protest saying: I have no way of getting there.?\u00a0 \u201cTake the MG.\u201d<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Arriving at the home I go inside; I\u2019 chat with my Aunt Socorro and her Husband Amari<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Hilda, Yells from the other side of the house!<\/em><\/div>\n
“I’m not ready”<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
I tell my aunt, I’m going back outside to wait in the Car. .<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Hilda comes out-I had forgotten how beautiful she was for an Eighteen-year-old young woman. <\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Ice Blue Eyes, long shoulder length blonde hair that seems highlighted by the Sun. She\u2019s\u00a0 5\u20336\u2032 with an athletic tone body..<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
I could see why they would ask me to Chaperone her to the downtown-open air market.<\/em><\/div>\n
We head out. <\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Once there parking can solely be found at one end of the market which is an 8 Square block section in the Center of Town. We head to the center of the market Hilda leading the way. . .<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
The Streets are of mostly cobblestone, the architect of the buildings are Spanish-style\u00a0 structures of cement that are colorfully stained, Blue, Yellow, Purple, and other colour combination.<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Of course the sidewalks,where shoulder to shoulder with shoppers. Vehicles moved gently down the streets. <\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Drive faster than Ten Miles an hour and strike someone. (Sort of reminded me of Delaney Street. in downtown New York City. in the day.)<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
Salsa music plays from every corner of the market. Everyone seems dress in great color combinations. <\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
The women all seem to wear these brightly color patterns of ankle length peasant skirts. <\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
While the Men are in \u201cGuayabera Shirts, Fedoras, and khakis. I was dress similar as the men.\u2019 I felt, I fit right in\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\n

Most Stores have fabric roll-up awnings of all colours with fluttering streamer. All of them\u00a0 advertising their merchandises, with placards that refer to economical sales .\u2019Two for One. <\/em><\/p>\n

While displays under the awning\u00a0 showed a series of garments on tables. They also swung from the undercarriage of the awnings of the dozens of Fabric Stores and Dress Shops.<\/em><\/p>\n

Others were of Live Chickens ready for slaughter. Whole sides of Beef, Hogs; their heads swung from hooks. Let\u2019s not forget whole piglets. <\/em><\/p>\n

Among them were, Seafood Markets with fresh caught that Morning . . .<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

As we walk through the bustling crowds: We\u2019d stop at street cart vendors to eat some local traditional delicacies, drink tropical all natural fruit drinks.<\/em><\/p>\n

For a treat we had Shaved Ice Cones, covered in sweetened coconut Milk churned as thick as honey and my ultimate favorite was an ice cream,with a consistency that was of Italian Ice and Ice Cream; Coconut of course, which is call \u201cCoquito\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019ve already been to five or more Dress Shops. I\u2019m standing in the doorway of one waiting for her; I\u2019m checking out the crowd and all the Ladies that are going by.<\/em><\/p>\n

Hilda yells out from inside; She thinks she has found something. <\/em><\/p>\n

She sounds\u00a0excited.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cCarlito come in tell me if you like it.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I turn slightly to look inside. She holds it up by the hanger, showing me an exquisite floral print. Knee-high dress that seems gathered at the midriff, that flar down from that point. <\/em><\/p>\n

The pattern reminds me of the oil painting by \u201cRenoir: Summer landscape.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

As I’m showing her my approval with a thumbs-up. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Out of the corner of my peripheral, I See\u00a0a shadow of a feminine contour approaching. She is breathtakingly beautiful. I\u2019m stun and in awe.The delicacy of her movement is unimpaired.<\/em><\/p>\n

She seems to be floating effortlessly: Candy red silk fabric, interlace within jet black hair; fluttering back and forth, dancing with her every step . . <\/em><\/p>\n

Tufts of hair lightly sweep the surface of my face leaving a trail of intoxicating fragrance; my senses are overwhelm . .<\/em><\/p>\n

like a blur: all else seem to rushes pass us, surrounding us with the void of sound. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Our eyes lock, seeming for what seem to be an eternity for me. A crescent smile on a face that courses up to Topaz eyes inviting me in- I gazed into them in those briefest of seconds-seeing the reflections of an Aphrodite\u2019. .<\/em><\/p>\n

She moves along the crowded pavement with ease . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Someone waves to her from within the crowd-walking into it; she\u2019s consumed. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Life\u2019s sound\u2019s come alive again\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Without any thought I frantically rush into the Dress Shop. <\/em><\/p>\n

Hilda is standing with\u00a0the merchant, haggling with him\u2019.\u00a0 .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018We have to leave now; will come back later.<\/em><\/p>\n

She glares at me with embarrassment.<\/em><\/p>\n

I grasp her hand and start pulling her towards the front exit.<\/em><\/p>\n

Vendor:\u00a0 \u201ccu\u00e1l es el problema.?<\/em><\/p>\n

We have to go, will be right back.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Hilda:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are you talking about.!! \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 just saw someone who I have to meet, they\u2019re going down the block and if I don\u2019t get after them I\u2019m gonna lose them.! Let\u2019s go.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

She rips her hand away. Staring at me as if I was nuts.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIs this someone you know, recognized.?<\/em><\/p>\n

No.!\u00a0But I have to meet them.!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAre you out of your mind.? I\u2019m not going anywhere till I pay for this dress; you\u2019re spoiling everything.! I\u2019 haven\u2019t finish negotiating.<\/em><\/p>\n

She turns to the Vendor calmly:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00bfcu\u00e1l es el costo\u201d.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Vendor: \u201cSe\u00f1orita\u00a0es \u201c$70.00 D\u00f3lares.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo estoy Segura? Est\u00e1 muy expansiva\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n

Te dar\u00e9 $50.00 D\u00f3lares.? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

Now I\u2019m losing my mind if I don\u2019t get out and down the block soon\u00a0I\u2019m never going to see her again.<\/em><\/p>\n

I say to the merchant:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201clet me see it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He hands it to me: Looking at the stitching in the hem, it\u2019s\u00a0a double stitch. The fabric might be too thin for the pattern and the complexion of the dress will diminish after a half a dozen washes, plus there\u2019s a revelation on the interior of one of the upper Arm Sleeves.<\/em><\/p>\n

I pull out Money: Peel two $20.00 Dollar Bills off the top fold; shove them into\u00a0 his hands. I leaned into his face:<\/em><\/p>\n

No es buen negocio enga\u00f1ar\u00a0sus clientes: ah\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

I shove the dress in her bag haphazardly. Grabbing her by the hand and start rushing out the door, pulling her behind me.<\/em><\/p>\n

Stepping out into the humidity of early afternoon; the pavement outside of the awning shade, is so hot you can feel the intensity rise from it.<\/em><\/p>\n

Hilda continues to wail. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201clet go of my hand\u201d over and over . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I ignore her, yelling back, Hurry.!\u2019 As I yank her alone through the crowd.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d You\u2019re absurd.! Who is this person.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t get\u00a0a view of her; the crowd is thick ahead of me.\u00a0I rush between the Park\u00a0Cars with her, out into the street.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cLet me go.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I start walking hurriedly\u00a0up the street with her in tow.\u2019 She is furiously\u00a0 screaming:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cLet me go.! \u2018Stop dragging me.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

People are starting to stare. . .\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking: make it worth their while. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

And drag her faster. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re going to get us both kill; ruining\u00a0us into the streets.! \u201c\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Just before we approach the end of the block; I see her standing in front of a fabric store on the opposite\u00a0corner of the intersection .<\/em><\/p>\n

I stop and turn back to Hilda saying: There she is just across the street.!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWho.! Who is where.! \u201cWhat is wrong with you.!<\/em><\/p>\n

You treated that Merchant with contempt. I\u2019ve never been so\u2019 embarrassed in my entire life.! \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019 was trying to rob you.!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you know this.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll tell you in a minute.<\/em><\/p>\n

Coming to a stop at the opposite\u00a0 intersections corner . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

She yaks her hand out of mine, with a huff turns toward, where I am looking. Then back to me with clutch teeth. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Who\u2019 or what! exactly am I looking at, in that crowd\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I point\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Hilda: turning towards her\u00a0 \u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0That girl across the street the one with the White Peasant skirt, yellow-top, red fabric around her shoulder.<\/em><\/p>\n

“That Beautiful girl with the Red Shawl.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Yes\u2019.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Turning back to me calmly.<\/em><\/p>\n

My focus is never diverted away from the girl.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Carlito\u2019 look\u2019 at me\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I am.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNo! you\u2019re not.\u2019 Look at me.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

My eyes drop on her:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018What.?<\/em><\/p>\n

In the same breath I say:<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 must meet her. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re nuts.! This is \u2018Not New York City.! \u2018You can never,ever meet HER.! Ever, ever, ever.!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Besides she is much too beautiful to be Single, among other things.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

An older Woman comes out of the store-chats with her showing her what looks like to me a roll of fabric. They both look it over; briefly talk about it. Then the older Women ducks back inside..<\/em><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t care how beautiful she is, that is irrelevant.! . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you propose to meet her.?<\/em><\/p>\n

“Because that other woman is most likely her chaperone, she will not let that happen; she is a \u201cSenorita\u201d \u00a0just Like I\u2019 am. You\u2019re here to keep men like \u201cYou!\u201d away from me. Little did my Father and Mother realize that you are not a Caballero.! That woman will not\u2019 allow it.\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Okay you need to stop with all this crazy formality stuff.<\/em><\/p>\n

I have to meet her. You\u2019 will help make that happen.!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI will do nothing\u2019 of the kind.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Yes\u2019 you will.!\u2019 You\u2019ll will walk over to her, introduce yourself point at me; tell her that I am in love with her, and\u00a0 I\u2019 can take her away from all the unhappiness in her life.!<\/em><\/p>\n

To which Hilda start laughing loudly and hysterically\u2019, <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re, Crazy and Delusional\u201d!! \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t help me; my wonderful little cousin. I just might have a slip of the tongue the next time I am talking with \u00a0Amari or Socorro. ( I use her parents name for extra added shock and seriousness of my,\u00a0 \u2018Impending Blackmailing) \u00a0\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

About how when we went to the Drive-in, you seem to disappear to Julio\u2019s Car\u2019 (Her boyfriend ) for the entire time of the Movie. . .\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t imagine they would be happy about what\u2019 their little \u201cSenorita\u201d is doing during the Movie.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re Disgusting.! How dare you insinuate that I would dishonor myself.!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I know you \u2018would never.!\u2019 Please let\u2019s stop arguing, she is going to go inside at any moment and if the Women comes out, then it is over. Can you not see\u2019 that I must meet her.! . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Hilda glares at me through squinting eyes with reluctance in her voice she say fine\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go talk to her.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Thanks, I love you, you\u2019re the best.!<\/em><\/p>\n

To which she say<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c And you\u2019re an asshole.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

As she starts to across the street\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 watch as Hilda is careful not to approach her from behind. Instead she walks up to her from the right side while she facing the outside fabric display, stands besides her and pretends to also be looking\u00a0 at the fabrics.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

After a few moments she \u2018leans in and starts talking to her-moments later she faces Hilda.<\/em><\/p>\n

It seems so casual and unconcern. One would never know from seeing them talking that they are both total strangers to each other \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

As they\u2019re talk; I see smiles on their faces a sigh of relief for me. After a minute they turn to my direction.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 had walk up to the oppressed corner when Hilda started across the street.<\/em><\/p>\n

Hilda points to me continues to talk to her as the girl looks toward me, with back-and-forth\u00a0gazing from Hilda to me.<\/em><\/p>\n

At one point; looking towards me: \u2018She smiles at me’. <\/em><\/p>\n

I remove my fedora taking a slight bow, as I tilt it towards her with an out stretched-out arm, Fedora in hand. <\/em><\/p>\n

Unaware of the stupid grin on my face.<\/em><\/p>\n

Hilda breaks-out-laughing at whatever the girl is saying to her.<\/em><\/p>\n

After what seems to be an eternity; Hilda goes in her Purse\u2019 brings out a pencil and paper, writes something down and hands it to her. She glance over it-tucks it away. .<\/em><\/p>\n

Hilda says something else; steps off the curb heads back across the street . .<\/em>A moment later her chaperone exits the store\u2026 <\/em><\/p>\n

They both look toward Hilda as they turn and walk down the street.. The girl saying something to her. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Walking back to me slowly, without as much as a hint on her faces as to what had transpired \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Reaching me:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cCome on let\u2019s go back to that shop so you can apologize to the vendor for you rude behavior.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Seriously.? Are you kidding me.? Tell me what she said first.?\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

No.! I am not kidding you; turns and starts to walk away. I put my hand on her shoulder to stop her forward motion. <\/em><\/p>\n

She shrugs it off turns toward me-glaring, fisted hand on her hip:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI will Not\u2019 tell you anything.! Not until you apologize. \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

I say give me the dress, let me show you something\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to see the dress, you\u2019 just need to apologize.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019 become aware of\u00a0 \u2018Us standing on the corner of the sidewalk as people are trying to walk around us arguing. <\/em><\/p>\n

I take her by her elbow and gently guide her to the opposite side of the sidewalk close to the wall.<\/em><\/p>\n

Once we\u2019re out of the way I hold out my hand and say please let me have the dress..Please,\u00a0Please, let me show you something.<\/em><\/p>\n

She reluctantly hands me the bag:<\/em><\/p>\n

I take it pull the dress out hand her back the bag. Flip it inside out near the innermost seam of the upper part of the dress is a white sticker that reads \u00a0$39.99..<\/em><\/p>\n

I show it to her- she grabs it and brings up to her face and screams. .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d OMG he was trying to rip me off.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

You could have bargained him down to $40.00.! and you would have still paid the original price of the dress, but you were willing to give him $50.00 Dollars\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, I\u2019ll give you the $40. dollars.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

No need to, consider it a gift for pointing me out to that girl\u2019 besides your blood and my little cousin\u2026 <\/em><\/p>\n

She leans up and kiss me on the cheek saying:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re just so unorthodox with your manners; you forget where you are\u201d..<\/em><\/p>\n

No that was The Bronx\u2019 not my manners\u2019. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s sit at a cafe`and have something to drink, and eat; you can tell me everything\u2019 . . . I can use a beer.? She looks at me disapprovingly\u00a0 which means No!.<\/em><\/p>\n

We walk down the block to the corner cafe`and grab umbrella cover table and sit and wait for the server\u2026 <\/em><\/p>\n

We order a few small plates; some natural fruit juices that come in Ex-Tall frosted \u00a0mugs with shards of sugarcane, flakes of coconut, or garnished with mint leaves<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018White or Dark Rum was optional of course, I had mine with White Rum. ( I\u2019 get a dirty look for that one) \u2026 The best part .50 cent each\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

Hilda:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI first excuse myself for my rude interruption while she is shopping. Introducing myself\u00a0 telling her that. I was born and rise here and where I live to establish socioeconomic status as to set her at easy. <\/em><\/p>\n

That I am not some kidnapper or vagabond and my family is well-known and active\u00a0 in the Bayamon community; I continue saying to her:<\/em><\/p>\n

If you would turn around for a moment I like to point to someone who you might want to meet.?\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

When we turnaround:<\/em><\/p>\n

‘I pointed to you, telling her that you \u2018re my Cousin; he had seen you walking by him-fell madly in love\u2019 at first sight.<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s is a scoundrel, uneducated, a womanizer and doesn\u2019t have a job.!! It would serve her well to stay away from him.\u201d \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m in total amazement as she lets that sink in. I\u2019m looking at her my mouth hanging open as I listen to her. . <\/em><\/p>\n

She\u2019 has nothing but a blank-poker stare on her face. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

WHAT.!!\u00a0 In disbelief . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Are you nut\u2019s.!!\u00a0 How could you say such things.! How could you\u2019.!<\/em><\/p>\n

She burst out laughing unable to control herself.<\/em><\/p>\n

Very funny, I said to her I\u2019ll get you for that. You really blew my chance.? . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cDo Not be ridiculous.! I would never had said such things. That\u2019s for the way you drag me down the street.<\/em><\/p>\n

I told her everything I just said, except the part of you being a scoundrel,\u2019 uneducated and a womanizer and not having a job\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

That\u2019s not\u2019 funny at all.! What exactly did she say.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d When we\u2019 turn around she asks me, who you were. I told her you\u2019re my Cousin just New to the Island, but born here, but\u00a0 that you were well established and had great manners\u2019 that was the only lie.<\/em><\/p>\n

Which part.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThe one about great manners.\u201d As she laughs.<\/em><\/p>\n

Enough already, tell me, why were you both laughing.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI told her that you fell in love at first sight. <\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019 feels it\u2019s his Destiny, to meet you.<\/em><\/p>\n

She says to me :\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0“Is he a desperate Man.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I said to her, <\/em><\/p>\n

“All Men are\u2019 desperate\u2019 when they\u2019re in Love, so y<\/em>ou\u2019 can really take advantage with this one”.<\/em><\/p>\n

That\u2019s why we both started laughing\u00a0 . . . Just then you took off your fedora, bowing slightly with it. .<\/em><\/p>\n

I must say that was a great jester. I think you got her with that. I then gave her my home number saying if you like to meet him his name is \u2018Carlito-would you mind telling me your name .? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

My name is, ‘Apola.”<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cApola, call me at my home anytime with a time he can call you; if you’re\u00a0interested.? <\/em><\/p>\n

She did say from here\u2019 he looks very handsome.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

And you said\u2019.?<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019 is -With that I\u2019 thank her and walk across the street.\u201d \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

A truly Tropical feeling to that day ended with great expectations of meeting \u201cApola.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Chapter 25. Apola\u2019 . . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201d It looks like Beauty, has kiss you with fire<\/b>\u201d<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Hilda <\/b>Mendez<\/b><\/span> \u00a0. .\u00a0<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

At breakfast later the next morning, I share my encounter and the prospect I might meet this fascinating young Women; spending an-hour speculating, while Manny plays the devil’s\u00a0advocate. Denouncing me and my fantasies; as he offered it laughing at me . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

The Problem meeting with her is: \u201d You Don\u2019t know her family. \u2018Big one there!. . . <\/em><\/p>\n

so the chances of that materialize is Zero! . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

You do not have a Car, No Money, you\u2019re not from here; you\u2019re unaware of basic customs with dating-it\u2019s just different here on the Island than the States.<\/em><\/p>\n

You also, lack a Job\u2019.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve wanted to talk about that.? I\u2019 don\u2019t like asking and taking money from you’ all the time. I need a job. That will allow me some outlet; four months now; time I found some work.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Manny was supporting me financially with a weekly stipend.\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cA client of mine, who serves at the admissions department at the University of Rio Piedra. will let\u00a0 you take the admissions exam at the house to get you into a Two-year computer language course. Learning to write\u00a0computer programs adopting a modern language call \u201cDOS.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I still need a job. Anything, just not come back home after class.<\/em><\/p>\n

Something part-time.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Maybe something by the salon.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018 Or I was thinking maybe something at one of the Hotels by the Salon.? this way I could ride back with you.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cLet me think about it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Next night at supper:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI have an excellent resolution for you.\u2019 I called around and this is, I think the best scenario Job\/work wise\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

What, Where.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d At \u00a0the salon.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I stare at him\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

.???<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYes I am dead serious: It\u2019s either the salon as my assistant at $10.00 a hour or you can work at one of the Hotels as either a Porter\/Custodian, Busboy\/Dishwasher or Landscaping.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Hard work under the Sun, at $1.00. an-hour. Twenty Five Cents more than the alternative two positions.<\/em><\/p>\n

Hotel administration employment is offered too those; who are career minded committed. I can not use my relationships to get you\u2019 a job; where you don\u2019t propose to establishing a career of it \u2026 Think about it further, sleep on it let me know in the morning.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

That night considering my choices. and realize,that the people looking for me would never find me, if I become a hairdresser:\u00a0 I’d-become invisible”<\/em>A search for me would not take place in a beauty parlor, being that I’m a homeless street person?.<\/em><\/p>\n

However reluctances permeated my mind. My escape, depends on my invisibility, regardless to a very unsure and uncomfortable feminine surrounding and environment; to say nothing of the stigma that would come from being a man who is a hairdresser?<\/em><\/p>\n

The next morning:<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll take the job at the salon..<\/em><\/p>\n

Little did I\u2019 realize the stage was set\u00a0for me\u2019. .<\/em><\/p>\n

Suddenly, it\u2019s time to start something new\u00a0. . .<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

___________________________________<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

My first day at the salon..<\/em><\/p>\n

Apprehensiveness is my frame of mind. I had met the Beauticians\u2019 when I had first came in with Manny a month earlier ..<\/em><\/p>\n

They all wore a White 3\/4 length lab coats with name logos. Coiffed hair; gleams of jewelry in it.\u00a0 Makeup was perfectly applied.<\/em><\/p>\n

They welcome me with warm demeanor to the team, making me feel relaxed and welcome. They chatter about how they were delighted that I would be working with them; and how Manny had brought in an assistant pleasant for them to look at and play with.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Louisa, Mannys Head Beautician, takes me through the Salon explaining my duties. How to do the towels, sweep the floor, wash the rollers after every service. Keep all the stations wipe. An endless list of minor duties that keep a quick pace Salon like his, moving.<\/em><\/p>\n

“Be courteous and affable to everyone; the salon is a haven\u2019 for our Celebrity Novela Television clients. Take care of them with the utmost esteem. <\/em><\/p>\n

Their biggest most prominent client is the Wife of the Governor of Puerto Rico. Manny does her hair three times a week. Try to remember the things she prefers; with a big grin . .\u00a0 she say:\u00a0 It will be entertaining.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

It blew me away..<\/em><\/p>\n

Who knew I would start a job at a \u201cCelebrity Hair Salon.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

The following weekend I go back to Bayamon. We\u2019re headed to \u2018Luquillo Beach one of the Island best renown beaches. I say hello to my Aunt and Uncle; I go look for Hilda\u00a0 to hear if there’s\u00a0any news.?\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Victor and a few of his friends are loading or sorting Beach gear into the Jeep-securing the surfboards to them.<\/em><\/p>\n

Victor:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Were roasting a small piglet at the Beach\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Please explain;\u00a0as I look at him with much doubt . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d We dig a pit in the sand; about 3:ft deep & 2:ft wide, 4:ft long.\u00a0 We line the bottom with about\u00a0 40:lbs. pounds of coal. Light it up wait for the coal to get \u2018white\u00a0hot. Then we, inlay the coal with wet banana leaves.<\/em><\/p>\n

Placing\u00a0 the season piglet that\u2019s wrap and secure in more Banana leaves. We enclose it with more wet\u2019 leaves. Fill the hole with sand.\u00a0 4 hours later roasted cook & season succulent piglet.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Hilda calls out \u00a0\u201d Carlito \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

As she came around the front of the house..<\/em><\/p>\n

She\u2019s smiling:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d I have wonderful news-\u2018She called for you last night.!<\/em><\/p>\n

She wants to meet with you.\u201d!<\/em><\/p>\n

( Dragging the\u00a0phrase out loudly for everyone to hear\u2019) . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Background<\/i>\u00a0noise from the others: wooing,sowing.<\/em><\/p>\n

I ignore it. .<\/em><\/p>\n

A salvo of applause comes from the guys & girls: my embarrassment had been strip-away there\u2019s nothing but shame left. .\u00a0 I hang my head . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Hilda : \u201cWelcome to the family\u201d. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Ecstatic.!\u00a0 Lifting her, I\u2019 twirl her around a few times as she shrieks, yells.!<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cPut me down.!\u201d A half a dozen times.<\/em><\/p>\n

Tell me what she said.? when can I meet her.? What time should I call.? Follow by another half a-dozen questions ..<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHilda:<\/em><\/p>\n

She wouldn\u2019t like you.?<\/em><\/p>\n

Why would you say that.?<\/em><\/p>\n

I spoke to her, she Sounds like she is very reserved and very traditional, she doesn\u2019t appear to be your type.?<\/em><\/p>\n

And why would she not like me and not be my type? <\/em><\/p>\n

You don\u2019t even, know my type.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t get defensive.<\/em><\/p>\n

she\u2019s soft-spoken, you\u2019re loud.! You can speak proper Spanish to save your soul and you\u2019re from New York City. .\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

What do you mean by that.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI do not know how you will be capable to get through to her in a conversion.?<\/em><\/p>\n

You think you’ speak Spanish.? It sounds like street vocabulary mostly, too much slang. \u2018You have to loss it \u201d . .<\/em><\/p>\n

( Let me just add\u00a0 that most of their friends spoke English, I spoke english too them and they spoke back in Spanish, that\u2019s how I eventually learn to speak excellent Spanish ) . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Watch:<\/em><\/p>\n

She Yells over to the guys and girls,\u00a0 \u2018Oye Victor\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019 thinks he speaks Spanish\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n

They all\u201d burst out laughing at me.<\/em><\/p>\n

Victor yells out.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou speak Spanish-Spanglish.! or something in that neighborhood \u201c. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Powerless to check their amusement;\u00a0I hold in my frustration \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019 comes over put arms around\u00a0me\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe love you\u2019 Carlito\u2019 I hope you can take a good jesting.? it\u2019s all in good fun\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I laugh along with them ..<\/em><\/p>\n

Hilda:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI told her where you\u2019re from, that you were-raised in the Mainland-that your Spanish is hideous and she shouldn\u2019t laugh at you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Still riding me\u2019 she bursts out laughing.<\/em><\/p>\n

You\u2019re just so hysterical Hilda . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d I\u2019m sorry, just playing\u201d \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

You\u2019re Killing me, jealous are you.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cStop being disturbing.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Just tell me the rest\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

She lives with her parents she\u2019s Twenty years old. I told her your age, Twenty-Two. Her parents have very stringent rules for her.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

(sarcastically saying )<\/em><\/p>\n

Ancient world religious christian-conviction the kind that believes in arranged marriages.?<\/em><\/p>\n

That leaves you out\u201d. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I glower at her.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSo she said. she might just be able to spend maybe anywhere from five to fifteen minutes at most on the phone with you. She did sounded eager to meet you.<\/em><\/p>\n

“P<\/em>arece que la belleza te a’ besado con fuego “<\/em><\/p>\n

What time I\u2019m I to call\u00a0her.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Tomorrow at 10:am.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t wait for fate\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014-<\/em><\/p>\n

I call Apola\u00a0it\u2019s awkward at first. I struggle to put two phrases\u00a0together simultaneously and disastrously . .\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m more nervous than she is. But I have her laughing at the other end for most of the time\u2019 which is a solid thing.<\/em><\/p>\n

In Latin America countries like Puerto Rico, in those days Dating was formal type of arrangement. You did not go over to someone you admired and say \u201cHey let\u2019s go to the cinema.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

That presented a major lack of respect.\u00a0\u00a0That could get your ass kick by the dad or the brothers\u2019 whichever was worst\u2019.. To meet a young woman you had to have been introduced to the family. No if\u2019s or but\u2019s\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

She was hesitant to break those rules, but will after we share enough about each other making her feel safe to meet. .<\/em><\/p>\n

I ask her when could I\u2019 meet you.?<\/em><\/p>\n

She\u2019s restrained with her movements, stays\u00a0 close to home base. However, she tells me she goes to San Juan to visit a cousin every few months for a weekend; shes due for a visit soon and that would be the soonest\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s is the only way we\u2019 can meet .\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not discouraged.. \u00a0After Twenty minutes we say goodbye. I give her my number at Manny\u2019s house and Salon;\u00a0 telling her to call me collect anytime she wants. Before we hang up we plan for her to call me the next day.<\/em><\/p>\n

I spend the next two weeks with her on the phone. At the end of those two weeks she tells me she will be spending the following weekend with cousins in Old San Juan. Will meet on that Saturday afternoon at the \u201cPlaza De`Armas in the heart of the old city\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Apola \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

Walking towards me along the cobblestone street, With the Sun behide her, she seemed bathed in a glow of luminescence; all else around her became unfocused in my eyes. The light breeze makes soft incessant in her hair with stroke of winds, as I had first seen her.<\/em><\/p>\n

Her skirts flutter against her body; every step enhancing her outline .. \u00a0She was dazzling. Stopping in front of me; she wore a Mona Lisa smiles that absorb all that\u2019s around her.<\/em><\/p>\n

Her hair reflected the softness of her beauty. Her presence became surrounded by a void of sound. I sat in silence; all else rushed pass me\u2019 as a blur.<\/em><\/p>\n

I stand to \u00a0introduce myself. \u2018Mesmerize; frozen in place. She stretches out her hand. .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cApola\u2019\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

She\u2019s\u00a0small-boned and olive-skinned, has a delicate, contemplative quality that\u2019s strikingly Northern-European. Honey colored topaz eyes, hair as deep black as onyx. Lips of gloss cherries, a soft and soothing voice\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

We\u2019 sat at the caf\u00e9 across the street from the plazas fountain. As we talk: I\u2019 felt as if all my senses had just been awaken. My reality-our souls were bonding. love was on her Lips, her body exudes sexuality. The ease of her movement expresses silent passion.<\/em><\/p>\n

Our romance would \u00a0flourish . . . I could not, but fall in love with her. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Chapter :26\u00a0<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
The Moon\u2019s Silver Lining:\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\u201cEver has it been that Love knows not its own depth\u00a0<\/strong>until the hour\u00a0of\u00a0<\/strong>separation<\/strong>\u00a0\u201c<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
Kahlil Gibran . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n
\n
\n

\u201cEvery summer since childhood, I\u2019ve spent summer in San Juan, from May till August. I will be able to see you as often as you like starting next week.! <\/em><\/p>\n

We arrange to see each other a few times a week visiting the caf\u00e9; we simply loved where we first met. A Month on, we feel the need to spend real-time together the caf\u00e9 is losing it appeal for holding hands. It\u2019 was not enough at all.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

Apola:<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe can go on an overnight beach bonfire they have during the Full Flower-Moon in the area known as La Porta Carib\u00a0.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Yes, let\u2019s.!<\/em><\/p>\n

Her cousin is no-whereas\u00a0as rigorous or draconian\u2019 as her other family members. Being, the black sheep of the family she\u2019 was all for Apola\u2019s love. Granting\u00a0her permission to go to the overnight beach bonfire . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We both jump up and down with trepidation at her getting approval-letting her go on the overnight bonfire, giving us that time along . .<\/em><\/p>\n

She had gather a basket, blanket and all the essentials we would need. I bring the wine.<\/em><\/p>\n

I Flip the top down on the MiG\u00a0head down Route 1.\u00a0 The cities of the Porta caribe, waits\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

Stopping at a few of the coastal shore beach\u2019s taking in their sight & sounds .. Apola, had promise to bring me to one particular beach where very few people went or knew about it.<\/em><\/p>\n

As of yet undiscovered by the \u201cTourism Industry.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIf you were not a local you\u2019d never know it was there.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Tell me about the beach.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAt this beach, during\u00a0 the rising of the full flower Moon fills the horizon. As you watch it raise. The horizon moon seems to rushes out of the water across it; as if an eclipse shadow illuminates its reflection in the water looking like a silver lining spread across the cove. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Wow; that sounds amazing.! Does the beach have a name.?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThe locals just call it<\/em><\/p>\n

La playa De la Luna. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

I have been going there since; I was a three year-old.\u00a0Even at that age I\u2019ve\u00a0 always known it\u2019s a special place; where dreams come true when you wish it upon the silver Moon.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m in trouble-is all I\u2019m thinking . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We travel an hour further down the road.. Chasing the setting sun as it falls closer to the sea, the day fades before us\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We finally turn taking a dirt road that passes through a thicket of jungle foliage for about a half mile. The road, empties onto the most magnificent beach, I\u2019 had ever seen..<\/em><\/p>\n

Sheltered on the southern coast by being tuck into a Curve Cove of Coral Reefs-acting as a barrier shielding the natural lagoon beach head; keeping the water still as glass. I could now see why it would look like a silver lining . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Getting out of MiG, stepping over to me, takes me by the hand; slowly tugs me along toward the glittering shore line.<\/em><\/p>\n

I peer out towards the horizon. .<\/em><\/p>\n

The setting fiery Orange sunset fills\u00a0 the sky\u2019. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Sugar white sand stretches and bends into a crescent-shape bay, fringed by coconut trees that stretch to the end of the sand. The aquamarine water gleams brightly, sparkling against the white sand.<\/em><\/p>\n

Foliage around us\u2019 is pepper with dozens of wild Orchids of contrasting colors and blossoms. The perfume scent encompasses us.. I\u2019m mystified by its beauty . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

In a soft tone of voice, that seem childlike; she whispers. .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201d Orchids symbolize \u2018beauty and love, Water\u2018\u00a0symbolize purity. Tonight within the full Flower-moons Silver\u00a0Lining, I want to make love for the first time as a woman\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

As I kiss her, her kiss is full of truth and exceeding tenderness. Her warm skin tingle\u2019s from the cool crisp sheet she had laid. The\u00a0smooth lines of her body expels erotica;\u00a0the warmth of her breath caresses my face. I\u00a0revel in her; as her body is laden with endorphins releasing\u00a0her aura. I\u2019 gently taste the essence\u00a0of her passion,\u00a0where\u00a0dreams of\u00a0 birth and life are born; bring her to complete euphoria elation. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

We gave and took under the Moons silver lining as we slept-dreamt of a simpler life where the wind blew gently through our souls.<\/em><\/p>\n

So concluded the perfect weekend . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

By the end of that summer, her Mother learns out about us.\u2019 She was not going to have none of it. \u2019She forbidden to see me again.! She was considered a \u2018Old maid by their\u00a0 religious traditions .\u2019 So a suitor was being appointed for her to marry on her 21st birthday, by the Church Elders. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

After a while I saw less and less of her. I penned a letter to her every day. Ultimately I lost track of Apola\u2019s\u2019 altogether as she stops calling and writing back. I\u2019was lost\u201d\u2026 love had a slip through my fingers \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Back at the salon, I seem to have a\u00a0 knack for hairdressing gaining a following and a book. I decided this what I\u2019m going to do as Profession. I would never do anything else., I dropped out of the Academy. Manny goes ballistic when I tell him I\u2019m dropping out to do hair.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

Manny:<\/em><\/p>\n

I pledge to our father that I\u2019d do what I have too, to make certain I take care of you and get you an Education.!\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

Did you agree\u2019 too do the same for Louie? \u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

Manny:<\/em><\/p>\n

He\u2019s not here, you are!.<\/em><\/p>\n

That opens up the old wounds . . We quarrel over the subject, I hold my ground \u2026 \u00a0he concedes nothing \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Manny really help me out; but I felt he did it because of the shame guilt\u00a0 that he felt for screwing me, my mom Louie and Johnny out of that Social Security money way back when. Then hanging us out to dry. We continuously argue over this for the next month.<\/em><\/p>\n

Three\u00a0 months into doing hair as a hairdresser, Manny is not content at all. He pulls me aside . . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c I\u2019m being told that you\u2019re dating the clients.? Stop dating and fucking the clients\u201d you\u2019re costing me and the rest of the salon clients and money.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

    \n
  • \u00a0You don\u2019t have a license. .<\/em><\/li>\n
  • \u00a0I don\u2019t know if this is something you propose on doing long-term or if it\u2019s a passing fancy . .<\/em><\/li>\n
  • \u00a0I don\u2019t want you to ruin my business while you\u2019re here . .<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    As you would have it, one afternoon a week later a client that I had stop seeing calls the local licensing Bureau and complains.<\/em><\/p>\n

    They come by to see if any unlicensed hairdressers were working there. I\u2019m caught \u00a0working on a client. But since Manny clients where the entire Novella stars in Puerto Rico and the Governor\u2019s\u2019 Wife. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    He received a pass. Manny is\u00a0 warn\u00a0that I had to register\u00a0at the beauty school or stop working at the salon or be cited. The next day I go to enroll at the local beauty school. If I\u2019m going to do this I better get serious\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

    It didn\u2019t go well\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

    First of all in those days, there was no such concept as \u201d Bilingual Education \u201c\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

    When they gave me the application, all I was able to read was just one word.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cNombre\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    Yup.! I knew my name\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

    Fifty minutes later I sat down with the admissions interviewer.<\/em><\/p>\n

    Interviewer:<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cWhy did you not fill out the application.?\u201d As she flips it back and forth in her hands . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    I tell her I can\u2019t read or write in Spanish \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

    She processes to tell me that the course is in Spanish:<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201d You\u2019re need to have total comprehension of reading and writing in Spanish\u2026 It doesn\u2019t\u00a0 matter that you can do hair, the state written exam is in Spanish as well as the school curriculum \u2026\u00a0 The only other way for you to do\u00a0 hair in Puerto Rico, is to go back to New York, get licensed there; come back here. Then and only then; It can be converted to a Beautician\u2019s license here in Puerto Rico.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    Back at the salon I\u2019m depressed\u2026 Can\u2019t do hair, no money, no Apola, that was the worst\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

    Manny keeps me on-relegated to assistant again.<\/em><\/p>\n

    A week after the school interview I\u2019m sitting at the rear of the salon and I pick up an industry periodical, looking thru it, I realize it\u2019s been roughly almost 2 years since that February night.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    Is it too soon to go back to New York.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    It had seemed I\u2019ve been here so much longer. Telling myself go to beauty school in New York.? \u00a0then come back.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    Faith is weird.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    A few days later I see what looks like a friend of Apola, Francesca.\u2019 I remember her from being introduce by Apola who brought her along with her when we had met\u00a0at the library once. She\u2019s outside the salon looking in. She\u2019 was the one who\u2019s phone number I first call to connect with Apola. I go out to talk to her.<\/em><\/p>\n

    Hola’ Francesca.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201d I have a message from Apola\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    Her mother realizes that you two were both still exchanging phone calls, letters,her- sneaking off to meet you. \u2018Deciding to take drastic intervention, because you were destroying her religious convictions and morals with her involvement with you!.<\/em><\/p>\n

    It\u2019 was not tolerable for her mother or her family to allow her to be involved with a pagan.\u2019 As her mother put it.\u2019 \u2018So she was sent to stay with a relative in New York City.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    What did she do to her?\u00a0 Why haven’t I heard from her?<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u00a0What happen was, Apola and her mother Get home from Church four months ago. <\/em>Her mother tells her that they\u2019re going for a drive into Bayamon to take her shopping to cheer her up. <\/em><\/p>\n

    During the drive she realizes that she wasn\u2019t being taken to go shopping! Instead she was being taken to the ‘Airport on a flight,\u00a0headed to New York to stay with a relative.!<\/em><\/p>\n

    Who, is this\u00a0relative.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cAn uncle who\u2019s a Christian fanatic. He wants to married her off to his second cousin who’s almost twice her age.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

    She considered an \u201cold maid by their standards, so a suitor within the family has been chosen for her to be married too, by The Church Elders in two weeks from now.!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

    Apola\u2019s aunt call me a few weeks ago asking me to get in touch with you. Apola\u2019s aunt lives in The Bronx.\u2019 She is against the marriage; so is most of the family for more than just ethical reasons. .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Apola confide in her aunt Gloria;\u00a0 telling her how you two are in love and how she is heartbroken, spends most of her time crying, her heart is\u00a0 filled with heartache. She ask her aunt Gloria to help her reunite you both, or keep her from marrying her second cousin\u201d. .<\/em><\/p>\n

    She hands me a scrap of paper-her aunts phone number on .<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cCall her if you get to New York, within the next two weeks.?\u00a0Her aunt knows\u00a0 where she is being held in Brooklyn. The wedding is in two weeks, on her birthday. . It won\u2019t be easy getting to her \u201c. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    I know all the right people, it won\u2019t be a problem tracking her down. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cApola wants you to come and get her; with tears in her eyes and urgency in her words say, \u2018Please . . .\u00a0 Time is of essence.\u201d . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    It\u2019s been almost two years; since I had left New York:<\/em><\/p>\n

    In Twenty-four hours, I\u2019ll be touching down at JFK .\u00a0 \u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Apola:\u00a0 Would become my muse; losing the innocence that oozed\u2019 from her life . . .<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    The Bronx:<\/strong><\/em><\/div>\n
    \u00a0<\/div>\n
    \n

    I\u2019m back in the Bronx after what seem a lifetime. First things first, enquire about Eddie in the ghetto. As it turns out, no one has seen or heard from him in as much time as I\u2019ve been gone; as if he simply disappears off the face of the earth.<\/em><\/p>\n

    I\u2019 don\u2019t think he took his own advice. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Tom\u2019s Dad had committed suicide. He plunges out the 6th floor living room window onto the courtyard.. I go visit Tom and his family, express my condolences.. We\u2019 pledge to stay in contact. . .\u00a0 \u00a0Tom, becomes a raving alcoholic; keeping in touch became a passing word. .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Ten years later Tom also commits suicide from the same window as his Dad had done, \u2018I was absolutely crushed when learning that news..It seemed that everybody I knew was dying, the streets there were poison with desperation. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    My primitive mind-set had achieved a 360. That hold gangster logic had collapsed.\u00a0succeeding in Puerto Rico, expose by being around prosperous\u00a0 communities and their cultural influences that were real . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    I had discovered inner peace violence would no longer be an instrument of survival\u00a0\u2026 If, I\u2019 adopted it anew, it will be \u00a0wholly in protecting myself and those I cherish \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

    We were, meant to be with each other at that time and place for whatever lesson waited for us. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    I\u2019m back two days, 12 day till the wedding:<\/em><\/p>\n

    I talk with my mother, filling her in on Apola and the events of the last two days\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

    Mom:<\/em><\/p>\n

    Carlito, There’s\u00a0a lady name Gloria who is my neighbor . .\u00a0 Stun. .\u00a0 What are you talking about, you must be mistaken.! That\u2019s not possible, Mom, are you sure.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cOf course I am.! \u201d\u00a0 \u2018She lives on the ground floor of the building . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    It hung in the air as heavy as a brick, it took a long moment before it hit me . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    How can this be.? . . . really how could this be.??<\/em><\/p>\n

    She goes on . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Being that Gloria Lives in the same building we’ become neighborly, Two days ago my mother and Gloria had spoken: <\/em><\/p>\n

    We get to talking. Carlito you know how Puerto Rican women are,we’re very friendly. I love to hear bochinche\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    ( Gossip)<\/em><\/p>\n

    What conversation would not be complete without two women bragging about their kids.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    Gloria: \u201cWhat are your children\u2019s names where do they live, what do they do.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    The usual banter women who are acquaintance as new neighbors would exchange . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cI have two sons, one Lives in\u00a0 Puerto Rico,now, is headed back home in a day. My\u00a0 youngest is in the Marines who is home. My oldest said, his girlfriend whose named is Apola; whose mother sent her back here, to get her away from him and he\u2019 is, heartbroken from it”. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Gloria: “What did you say his name was?!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

    “His names is Carlito.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

    Gloria is astonish.? Could it be that he\u2019s one and the same.?\u00a0 Her sister had sent her youngest daughter Apola, here to get her away from a man she was dating\u2019 a few months ago. .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Could it be.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    Is it her son.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    Could he be the same.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    Could he be the Boyfriend in Puerto Rico .?<\/em><\/p>\n

    Gloria shares her possibilities with my mother. .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Gloria: \u201cThis has to be a coincident\u201d.!<\/em><\/p>\n

    Mom: \u201d I don\u2019t think so; Preordain\u2019 is more like it. Apola knew, knew he\u2019 would come for her when he learned she was in New York. \u2018Love is strange.? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

    I\u2019 continue quizzing my mother . . ,<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    What apartment is Gloria in.?\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    \n

    \u00a0\u201cShe Lives on the ground floor apartment # 1 A.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    That evening, I\u2019 head down to introduce myself, my adrenaline level is screaming through my veins\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    I go knock on her door, it opens. .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Hello”<\/p>\n

    \u201cHi I\u2019m Carlito. .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Apola ask me to reach-out to you? That you can help me find her??<\/em><\/p>\n

    Gloria cheerfully greets me with a hug and welcoming smile . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    “Yes, I have all the information about where she is”<\/em><\/p>\n

    We exchange some pleasantries. She walks us into her living room,to sit, she offers me a beverage, I decline., We talk about how incredibly coincidental aspect of her living in my mothers building and with myself and Apola!<\/em><\/p>\n

    She then tells me how her Sister who is a religious\u2019 zealot went nuts when she found out about us\u2019 dating. <\/em><\/p>\n

    Apola was younger than she had told you.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

    I\u2019m shock! she had lied to me, I\u2018 say to Gloria she told me, she was shy of being twenty years old by a few months.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201d NO.\u201d she was Eighteen;\u00a0 just shy of being Nineteen not twenty. She’ Will just turn ‘Twentie.,<\/em><\/p>\n

    It doesn\u2019t matter now . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    So the moment came where is she.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    She gets up goes into her bedroom, comes back with an envelope containing a letter from Anpola.<\/em><\/p>\n

    She had written me when she arrived in New York, in hope of me looking for her, if Gloria got her letter to me in Puerto Rico.<\/em><\/p>\n

    It\u2019s in Spanish, so I let her read it to me, it\u2019s heartbreaking, by how it reads.<\/em><\/p>\n

    I can tell she must have cry while she wrote it..<\/em><\/p>\n

    Where is she.! ..<\/em><\/p>\n

    I need her place now.<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cShe\u2019s in Brooklyn\u201d she hands me a phone number and address.<\/em><\/p>\n

    Why didn\u2019t she just leave, runaway.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    Gloria :<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cIf you just arriving in New York, where you don\u2019t know anyone.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    Not knowing your way around; where would you go to..?<\/em><\/p>\n

    Unable to speak English well or very little..?<\/em><\/p>\n

    Add you\u2019re eighteen and being under house arrest, just about.? . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Nowhere, that\u2019s\u2019 where.?\u201d ..<\/em><\/p>\n

    Who\u2019s holding her.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cShe at her second cousins, family which is also his mother house. The future husband visit his mother in the evening after work every night. <\/em><\/p>\n

    He\u2019s.a much older man in his late Thirties. The family keeps her under a tight rein with his mothers help and her cousin-chaperones her insistently and is present in all she does \u201d . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    That evening I\u2019ll have a female friend call the number:<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    A woman answers.<\/em><\/p>\n

    Hola\u00a0 it\u2019s Juanita: \u201cCan I speak to Apola. .<\/em><\/p>\n

    She gets her on the phone.<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201d Apola: Hola qui\u00e9n es.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201d Es\u2019 Juanita, un momento\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n

    She hands me the phone \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

    I say, Hi\u00a0 it\u2019s Carlito:<\/em><\/p>\n

    She starts to cry\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cI\u2019 always knew you would come for me\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    The conversation is brief but ecstatic for both of us.!<\/em><\/p>\n

    It\u2019s last-minute; so here\u2019s the plan. Would you ready to go tomorrow night.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cYes.\u201d!!<\/em><\/p>\n

    Juanita will call you be ready to leave immediately, grab a few things you might need, I\u2019ll be out-front waiting with Louie. Juanita\u2019 will call at 9:pm, when I\u2019m out-front tomorrow night at 9:pm be ready.!! . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    No one\u2019 would be able to stop us from being together again. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Louie had just returned home on a Thirty day leave from the marines, two weeks earlier.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

    I brought him with me as a backup, If something went down . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    **Louie<\/em><\/p>\n

    We arrive at the tenement in Brooklyn about 8:30 p.m. I call Juanita from a phone booth on the corner she in turn will call\u00a0 Apola at 9pm sharp . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Juanita will call me back:<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cIt\u2019s all set, she\u2019ll come down at 9: pm ..<\/em><\/p>\n

    We walk over and wait in the Fourier of the building; it\u2019s not long now . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    At exactly\u00a0 9:pm, we hear someone running down the stair, someone else is chasing, them.!\u00a0 They screaming cursing\u00a0\u00a0in Spanish.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cGet back here\u201d where do you think you\u2019re going”<\/em><\/p>\n

    Followed by string of profanities,in both English and Spanish. .<\/em><\/p>\n

    I don\u2019t hear her responding, just a steadying run down the stairs. She hit the ground floor landing running\u00a0 towards me. .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Running at full throttle and right into my arms.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

    Louie steps in front of us to meet the chaser.\u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n

    As he comes to the landing he\u2019s holding a baseball bat, which I assume was too frightened or hit Apola if she resisted.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    Louie greets his visceral attacker with enthusiasm and eagerness.<\/em><\/p>\n

    Louie just happens to have;\u00a0 4-black belt degrees in four different martial arts skills. <\/em><\/p>\n

    I think it took less than 3 Seconds, \u2018could have been a few more.? . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    All I know, is-that man was on the ground screaming in agony. Louie throws the bat beside him casually walks towards the front door. <\/em><\/p>\n

    I don\u2019t believe, he ever thought that he would be beaten with his own bat \u2026 No shots to the head though, he still remembers\u2019. .<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u2018I hurry down the steps-where Apola is waiting . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    *Hairdressing fell by the wayside for the time being.\u00a0All I wanted was to be with Apola and she with me. We were young, beautiful and out of control. I was opening up a new world for her-that I would see through her eyes.<\/em><\/p>\n

    Adventure-awaited us\u201d. . .<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \n

    Chapter: 27th.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

    \u201cThere is no passion to be found playing small-in settling for a life that is less than the one you can live\u201d . . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

    Nelson Mandela. . .<\/strong>\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

    Wow man, groovy.!\u201d . .\u00a0 Isn\u2019t going to pay the rent.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

    Slowly, we bled into the counter cultural influences, that were massive. Apola, transforming herself into the likeness of Joplin.\u2019 She embodying all that was a part of feminist movement. I regressed to activism following the movements of the radicals of the times both of us\u2019 immersing our minds into the music and its distorted philosophies. Drugs electrified our consciences. Marijuana was a viable commodity that maintained our lifestyle of living within a total Bohemian philosophy, while broadening our minds by ingesting hallucinogens. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Post Note:<\/em><\/p>\n

    ( The Feminine Mystique is a book written by Betty Friedan which is widely credited with sparking the beginning of second-wave feminism in the United States. It was published on February 19, 1963 by\u00a0 W.W. Norton.<\/em><\/p>\n

    :Reference-Wikipedia<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

    At the time Feminism had started to go mainstream.\u00a0The Equal Rights Amendment (ERA), which states that \u201cequality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex,\u201d was originally introduced to Congress in 1923 \u2014 three years after women gained the right to vote \u2014 but never reached the House or Senate floor.<\/em><\/p>\n

    The National Organization for Women, which was founded in 1966 and advocated for a \u201cfully equal partnership of the sexes,\u201d soon endorsed the ERA and made passing it into the U.S. Constitution a top priority. (The amendment had been unsuccessfully presented to every session of Congress between 1923 and 1970.)<\/em><\/p>\n

    However, the ERA was just one part of what the new, \u201csecond-wave\u201d feminists wanted to accomplish, as TIME\u2019s article \u201cWho\u2019s Come a Long Way, Baby?\u201d from August 31, 1970, points out:<\/em><\/div>\n
    \u201cThey want equal pay for equal work, and a chance at jobs traditionally reserved for men only. They seek nationwide abortion reform \u2014 ideally, free abortions on demand. They desire round-the-clock, state-supported child-care centers in order to cut the apron strings that confine mothers to unpaid domestic servitude at home\u201d.<\/em><\/div>\n
    \u00a0<\/div>\n
    The most radical feminists want far more. Their eschatological aim is to topple the patriarchal system in which men by birthright control all of society\u2019s levers of power \u2014 in government, industry, education, science, the arts.. .<\/em><\/div>\n
    \u00a0<\/div>\n

    Apola true to her feminism becomes an advocate after immersing herself in \u201d Betty Friedan The Feminine Mystique.<\/em><\/p>\n

    I with,\u00a0Mao Zedong Little Red Book; became standard possession. We became part of the Puerto Rican resistance, joining the\u00a0 \u201d Boricua Popular Army.\u201d A spectrum of autonomous, Nationalist, and Independence sentiments and political parties exist on the island. Supporting them through donations and literature distribution; enlightening the masses at rallies on resisting, Imperialism..\u2019\u00a0 We picked up some ideals about the world. We\u00a0 built our own world-view-from: What was right for\u00a0 Us\u2019 and what is wrong for Us.<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201d When you were younger, you probably had some lofty ideals about life and the world. Yet the older you got, the more the system and education tried to pound out your ideals. Society wanted you\u2019 to become generic, to the point of castration.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    Nassim Taleb. .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Within a brief space of time \u2018we had become starch radicals.\u00a0 We started traveling to demonstrate\u00a0 around the region to bring home the troops. Regulars at rallies by the weatherman and Students for a Democratic Society, Black Panther, Young Lords.<\/em><\/p>\n

    We were part of the stage and led that life . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    The Moral Majority of the Nixon Administration Banner was the most nefarious of the times. Kent State\u2019s University Massacre became a crying-rallying point for us. We desired to strike and strike back hard. Patty Hearst brought it to the streets, the only one to walked away free.<\/em><\/p>\n

    Our\u00a0 life\u2019s had turned into an action adventure film in a Twilight Zone episode..\u00a0 But I imagine it might depend on what surface of the Twilight you\u2019re standing on.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    I was living in the future but I was from the past, as I watch the Moral Majority fight; as the old America was shifting away from them . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Becoming fixtures at the Fillmore East in the Village. Hendrix, The Who, Ten Years After, Janis Joplin; CBGB\u2019 where Insanity prevailed nightly on the stage. Where we first saw \u2018Blondie, Johnny Rotten, The Sex Pistols, The Ramon\u2019s. It was fucking incredible.!<\/em><\/p>\n

    Apola drops her first tab of Purple Haze acid at the Electric Circus on St. Marks Place. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Our second summer Apola wants to see the country.\u00a0We talk about California and the hippie scene there.\u00a0 After a night of weed smoking and wine, we decided we could hitchhike across the country.<\/em><\/p>\n

    Within one week we had brought together all the camping gear we would be\u00a0require to camp out in the vast outdoors. We were not planning on staying in Hotels, we had maybe\u00a0 $200.00 dollars\u00a0 plus three O-z\u2019s of ass kicking reefer we\u2019re prepared\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

    We would bed down on the side of the roadways, campgrounds, parks or wherever\u2019 we could pitch\u2019 a tent. \u00a0We\u2019re going to see \u201cAmerica\u201d like the pioneers did, but be stone\u2019\u00a0all the way across the good old U.S of\u00a0 A\u2019 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Traveling through northern Ohio, we\u2019re pickup by a\u00a0hippie who terrifies the crap out of us. We\u2019re traveling down some steep incline about 1\/2 mile in length as were coming into the exit\u00a0 Rt to Columbus. He announces that his \u2018brakes are gone.!<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201d I can not stop the car.! \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

    Needless to say we\u2019re high so we start freaking out, screaming crash into the bushes at the bottom. We\u2019re yelling all kinds of dumb shit at the same time.\u00a0 \u201chysteria.!! \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

    As we near the bottom, he\u201d opens the driver side door and sticks his left foot out and onto the highway pavement to try to slow the car down with his foot!! .. We laugh uncontrollably at this.! We\u2019ve been had\u2019 by this country boy.!<\/em><\/p>\n

    On the fourth morning we start walking along the highway, when a state trooper pulls up alongside of us.<\/em><\/p>\n

    Coming over to us and saying:<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201d Where y\u2019all headed on my road.? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

    Me:<\/em><\/p>\n

    Were just two hippies man; struggling to get to San-Fran\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

    His response:<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cI\u2019m going to drive up the road a piece and turn back on the alternative side and continue down a bit, turn around and head back towards you; if y\u2019all are still on my road, why I\u2019m going to make certain you spend the next 30 days on a chain gang breaking fucking rocks\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    To which,\u00a0 Apola decides to fuck-with the trooper in her best broken English, which horrifies me.!<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cjuw-kan\u2019t-maka-a-me Du-dat\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    Trooper:<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cNo,\u00a0 \u2018you\u2019re going to be handed out to some honest good ol\u2019 boy\u2019s to perform\u00a0for; you might see your boyfriend\u00a0he\u2019re\u2019 one day again.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    He just deadpan us; blue piercing eyes peeking, below his Smokey the bandits hat. In the most southern drawl I\u2019ve ever heard.<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cThe two of you: Better get off my fucking road, by the time, I\u2019d get back to this here spot or I\u2019m bring you both in for loitering which will get you\u201d 30 days in the Pokey.! . . follow by a smirk. .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Gets in his cruiser and take off.<\/em><\/p>\n

    We\u2019re right behind him running as fast to the exit 1 1\/2 \u00a0miles away.\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Three hours afterwards we get pick up by: (This is no Bull.\u201d \u2018Newlyweds.! Maybe mid-to- late-thirties, In a\u00a0 Sky-blue- White-Trim-Cadillac Coupe-Deville convertible; with Pink, White, Purple streamers, just married scroll on the trunk and side\u2019s.<\/em><\/p>\n

    Two Great Danes in the back of the fucking car.!<\/em><\/p>\n

    The only thing missing were the canisters\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

    They actually stop.!<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cWhere you headed\u201d \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u2018West.!<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cGet in.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    You\u2019d think; we\u2019d\u00a0 say: \u201cNo Thanks.! .\u00a0 .<\/em><\/p>\n

    Yeah\u2019 we got in\u2019. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    One hour into our drive, as they sang to blaring country music:<\/em><\/p>\n

    The bride in her wedding dress and converse blacktop-sneakers;\u00a0 turns off the radio; faces us stating:<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cWe\u2019re thrilled that we\u2019 have Hippies in our car.!\u00a0 We\u2019ve only seemed them on T.V.. You two- really look like those hippies on T.V..! \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

    Me and Apola sit in the rear with grins on our face petting the two great Danes.<\/em><\/p>\n

    I say:<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cWow that\u2019s truly exciting. I\u2019m excited too, that I\u2019m with a flower child\u201d. .<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \u00a0She stares at me queasily;\u00a0goes on:<\/em><\/div>\n
    \u00a0<\/div>\n
    ” Well I just want to express that you two seem pleasant enough, but young man\u2019 you would perhaps do well from a haircut? <\/em><\/div>\n
    \u00a0<\/div>\n
    Wy your hair is as long as hers.’<\/em><\/div>\n
    \u00a0<\/div>\n
    And you darling I suggest, wear a slight more makeup, a Bra would also do you well\u00a0 maybe.?.”<\/em><\/div>\n
    \u00a0<\/div>\n
    Apola:<\/em><\/div>\n
    \u201d I don\u2019t need makeup, I\u2019m a child of the Earth, but I should get a bra my titties have gotten a lot bigger so I\u2019ve had to burn my Bra’s .\u201d. .<\/em><\/div>\n
    \u00a0<\/div>\n
    The wife not making the connections or knowing what to say-back; missing the reference of \u201cBurning your bra-logo\u201d of The N.O.W\u2019 . .<\/em><\/div>\n
    \u00a0<\/div>\n
    Wife:<\/em><\/div>\n
    \n

    \u201d Well that might be a slight more knowledge than I would\u00a0appreciate, however it\u2019s highly inappropriate not to wear one as a\u00a0 lady.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

    Apola:<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \u201cOne day when I grow up and become a Lady’ I\u2019ll get\u2019 one\u201d..<\/em><\/div>\n
    Whatever that meant.?<\/em><\/div>\n
    \u00a0<\/div>\n
    Wife:<\/em><\/div>\n
    just left it at that. <\/em><\/div>\n
    .<\/em><\/div>\n
    \n

    Proceeds to ask Apola?<\/em><\/p>\n

    We have heard and read and watch on Television, being said, that the hippie movement is growing in the suburbs, is this true.?<\/em><\/p>\n

    Apola:\u00a0 Making it all up, she answers.,<\/em><\/p>\n

    \u201cActually there\u2019s a lot that the media is withholding. Reports are coming in but they don\u2019t what to overwhelm the country, causing chaos in the Cities.! Dozens of Eastern and Western-states- cities, are now run and govern by \u2018Hippies across the country. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

    We\u2019re headed to the biggest gathering ever\u2019 in San Francisco, to take part in voting to change the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \n
    • All Drugs Will Be Legal.!<\/em><\/li>\n
    • Everyone over 30 would be subject to doing LSD.!<\/em><\/li>\n
    • Clothing will be optional.!<\/em><\/li>\n
    • Only a Woman can be President.!<\/em><\/li>\n
    • Women will also run other branches of Government throughout the country.!<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      Among other great changes, It\u2019s going to be announced by Nixon in the State of the Union Address before his pending impeachment at the end of the month in San Fran.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI\u2019m\u00a0 yelling.\u201cRight on man-thought-out the whole time; while she is ranting.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      She got that from a movie we had seen call \u201cWild in the streets.\u201d throwing\u00a0 in the Nixon part for good measure . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      These people look horrified of these prospect.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola is screaming:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cSeeing women who go topless will be commonplace.!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      The woman looks terrified:<\/em><\/p>\n

      For the next ten minutes they sit in stun silence, as she rants and lays it-out, while continuing to make it up as\u2019 she goes along.! . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Suddenly:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola \u2018whips out a joint; lights-up.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      There will be a New World Order of Drugs.\u201d As she tokes on it a few times before\u00a0 passes it to me.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I toke on it, after a toke or two, I hand it back to Apola. She tries to hand it to the wife, while saying:<\/em><\/p>\n

      — You might as well start now\u2019 so when it happens you\u2019ll already be hook.!\u201d . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 notice that we\u2019re going over a bridge thats headed North towards Peoria Illinois.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I yell out over Apola’s\u00a0 “Hippie apocalyptic’ description of the United States “<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0Hey man! we\u2019re headed West, why are you driving North.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      The car come to a screeching halt, the fucking dogs go flying into us and the front seats.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      The man is screaming:<\/em><\/p>\n

      GET OUT OF THE FUCKING \u00a0CAR.!!\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      At the top of his lungs.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d You\u2019re not going to ruin this country.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m yelling<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d We\u2019re in the middle of the bridge we can\u2019t get out here.! There are no walkways.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Husband:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cGet the fuck out now, or I\u2019ll sick the dog\u2019s on you.! \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola, defiantly yells back:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cThey\u2019re our friends now.!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      He pulls out a gun that looked like a Western-Six-shooter. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Points it at her. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Get Out.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      We get out fast\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Out of the car, Apola starts screaming at him.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d It\u2019s too late it\u2019s going to happen you might as well join in.\u201d!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m holding her back, while trying to shut her up. I don\u2019t want her\u2019 to get shot. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      The woman is screaming-crying. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201c Will kill \u2018ourselves first; how can you do this to our country.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Anyway you get the picture, it fucking mayhem on the bridge.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      Force out of the car at gun-point. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Where\u2019s that state trooper; when we needed one.? \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n
      \n

      \u00a0Chapter 28:<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      \u2018Cloud Nine.!\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      \u201d Like Any Drug It wears Off. \u201d . .<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      John Lennon:<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      \n

      We\u2019re hoping on establishing the finished stage of our hitchhiking tour. leaving Nebraska on interstate 76; while entering Colorado we pick up a lift that was more dangerous\u2019 than anything since we been on the road..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Two dudes stop:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWhich way are you headed.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Which is noteworthy here: Since we have our thumbs out pointing westbound and are on \u2018Westbound side of Inter. 76-West . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      red flag.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yup.! but when your stone does it actually matter.?? . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      it\u2019s a ride. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      One\u2019s White the other is Black both seem, friendly, smiley and ease. We say Frisco\u2019 at the same\u00a0moment.<\/em><\/p>\n

      They both come back with.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cSo are we.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      A few minutes afterward we\u2019re headed down the road\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      They start telling us how inspired they are to have more company for the duration\u00a0of the trip there.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We acknowledge we\u2019re fired up to have a ride all the way to California as well.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The Black Male:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cSo,\u00a0where are you guys from.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re from NYC;\u00a0 been on the road for five days looking forward to getting there.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We tell them about our trip so and the personalities we have met on the road. Crazy shit that has happen to us with the State Trooper a few days previously. The bridegroom and bride with the fucking dogs.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      The White male:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018glancing back hurriedly. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWow\u2019 that\u2019s some fucking\u2019 crazzzyyy\u2019 shit-brother.\u201d.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      With anticipation while peering into the rear-view mirror:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018loudly.!\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Did You Take The Gun Off Him.!! \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d We\u2019 were limited in the details of the gun when sharing the story. You never knew when\u00a0 details in life could help you \u201c. .\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Apola had become as wise herself she had learned\u00a0 \u00a0. \u2018Never let them see you coming; Always be a surprise; Never let them see you sweat, and never ever, be seen as a threat, unless you need’ to be seen as one’.,<\/em><\/p>\n

      Their mistake . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Street Wisdom:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola: Interjects to get us off the Gun\u2019 subject\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWhere are you guys from.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      They could not offer a straightforward answer.\u00a0They were from Mississippi, New Orl\u00e9ans, Alabama.? They agree on Atlanta Georgia.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Thus they start telling us why they pick us up. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Now I\u2019m not certain if they were full of shit; but the narrative they describe was.\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Black male:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWe escape from a prison correctional facility, we\u2019re running from the law, for a shooting and robbery spree. We\u2019 both were incarcerated for Fucking life.! With four us in the car we\u2019d be less exposed. They\u2019re looking for two Men not four, they\u2019ll\u00a0 paid- less attention to us.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      They spoke about prison life and how they\u2019ve been treated\u00a0badly. The last Fifteen years of the twenty year stances was all they could stand..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Their hold escape part was thoroughly confusing\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      What look like gray prison garb sort of gave it away.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m considering:<\/em><\/p>\n

      This is not a beneficial situation\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018How do we get \u2018The-Fuck-Out \u2018 out of this car.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      If we\u2019re pull over at a roadblock, and there\u2019s a gunfight.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yup;\u00a0we\u2019d be in the thick of it\u2019. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Or hostages.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Conspirators.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      So after we\u2019ve traveled for about two hours, whispering in whispers in Spanish. Apola, comes\u00a0 up with a game plan . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      it\u2019s simple and the request, can not be turn-down. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola: To the White Male<\/em><\/p>\n

      I have to pee\u2019.. Lets pull over at the next ramp exit coming up.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Black Male:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cYou should hold\u00a0it, until it turns\u00a0darker to get out of the car; you\u2019d be less-noticeable,\u00a0we don\u2019t want to attract any attention now do we.? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sits up from the Driver-side; leans into this Black dudes face:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI need to go \u2018Now; \u2018Turns to the White guy:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cSo stop the fucking car at the ramp exit.!\u00a0 let me the fuck out.!! \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      The tension swells in the car for a brief moment . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      White Male:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cHey relax-baby, hold on to your fucking panties.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      A broad smirk on his face. ..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola shoots him a look of contempt. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      I quickly place my arm and forearm on her lap, indicating let it go\u2019 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      I had given Apola, and\u00a0she\u2019 had taken-self-defense-classes \/ instruction over the last year-and-half. Louie who was a<\/em><\/p>\n

      “Fourth-Degree Black Belt-Holder.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

      Had been back from the Marine Corps-she spends, the last Nine-Months-Learning-Aikido \/ Japanese Martial Arts. . He\u2019 had included in-depth-hand-to-hand combat direction which she took too like a pro, training regularly with-him to remain fit . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Needing self-defense knowledge at demonstrations and rallies; \u2018or on the streets of New York City essentially for young beautiful Women, who are never safe on them.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      She was almost like a \u201d little\u00a0Nikita.\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      After years of force servitude by her family especially the men who beat her in life. Empowered by the feminist movement Apola:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cHad transform herself.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      She would get in anybody\u2019s face. If she felt disrespected; or was being intimidated by their responses, physically or otherwise.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We each had a ten-inch-serrated- boundary-knifes in our knapsacks, which we had brought with us for assured and as a camping tool . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      We might have been hippies, at that juncture however,\u00a0 Apola, I would say could be very-deadly. I\u2019m also street-harden and a hardcore season war veteran.<\/em><\/p>\n

      If need be; I\u2019d do them both without a second thought. If either of our lives were threatened or we were intimidated. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      We were conscious of the susceptibility; that we might experience on the open road with crazies.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Yea, we saw Easy Rider. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      We were not going to become casualties of anybody. Being in the rear seats gave us that\u2019 advantage.<\/em><\/p>\n

      She\u2019s insistent\u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      They pull over . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 get out to let Apola out; she heads towards the tree line.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 slam the door behind me. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Black Male:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Why are you both getting out.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I walk away slowly, along the traverse for about twenty-five feet from the car; Turning\u00a0 to deal with him; as automobiles-whiz by exiting onto the ramp. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u00a0drop my rucksack beside me . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re pitching our tent here for the night this is as far as we go with you guys . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Black Male: comes at me anew:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWere not traveling to California together Bro.\u2019?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Are you fucking kidding me motherfucker.!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018No Mother-Fucker.!!\u00a0 I\u2019m Not.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019 have our own\u2019 plans and they don\u2019t include anyone else.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      It Definitely\u2019 doesn\u2019t include two\u2019 escaped fucking felons.\u2019 !!\u00a0 \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Black male:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Glaring angrily.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d That\u2019s some \u2018Fuck-Up shit to say brother.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      His partner is cursing and screaming shit at me.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Get back in the Fucking car now.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Motherfucker\u2019.!! \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      Then, yells to the black male:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cLet\u2019s take him now.!!\u00a0 I\u2019ll grab that bitch when she gets back.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Being in the presence of those circumstances; my mind-set reverse:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I step back into a combat-zone-mind-set . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Standing there, I remember my platoon leader saying to our fire-team before Search and Destroy missions . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Panic is the killer of the mind \u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Inner calm flows through me\u2019 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      I Replied calmly:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Maybe I took that Gun.\u201d ??. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 go silent . .\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      My right hand, softly moves behind me, gripping the handle of my blade, tuck behind my lower back: . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Standing perfectly still, using my attitude and body-language, as warning:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola: Comes over from the tree line behind-us, stands alongside me; Drops her knapsack at her feet crouches down draws the knife from it. Stands; kisses me quickly on the cheek.,<\/em><\/p>\n

      Cheerfully; saying:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d I pee\u2019d, I\u2019m ready honey.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Glares back at the car, Kicks the\u00a0knapsack behind her at the same-time, her knife is\u2019 brought up to her chest she takes:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0A perfect-combat-clench-downward-knife-stance\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m impressed.!\u00a0\u00a0. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Their fucking with the wrong girl.\u201d\u00a0 And man.\u2019 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019 both know:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d He who speaks first loses.\u201d . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      The Black Male:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Shifts his gaze; to the driver. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Out-of-earshot: . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      The white guy, says something to him.??<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Fuck-That, Fuck-Them .!!\u00a0 Let\u2019s get the fuck\u2019 outta here brother.\u201d ..!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      The car peels-off . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      We never learn of their outcome\u00a0or if those two where ever detected. . . Caught.\u2019\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola really \u2018needed to pee.\u2019 . . .\u2019 Who Knew.! . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Heading west on interstate 76th:<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      Camping out at the \u201cOgallala State Park, before heading into Boulder then to a hippie commune off of interstate 76, in Sterling Colorado. Crash there for a few days then\u00a0swing Northwest to San Fran\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Leaving the campground the next afternoon, hiking over from the campsite to\u00a0interstate 76: Arriving\u00a0at a\u00a0narrow bridge that divides the reservoir from the Main road that is no more than a fraction of a downtown block. Then a\u00a0half a mile to 76th westbound\u2019s entrance\/exit\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      At the bridge stop by yet another\u00a0 trooper that looks like the other one; with the same glaring-penetrating-eye\u2019s.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d You folks can\u2019t walk across that span onto that road;\u00a0 I\u2019m The Sheriff around these here parts. It\u2019s my duty to tell you that.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Pointing to a bush; that partially obscured from view a sign at the base of the span:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018On a white-backboard-with-huge-Red-Letters that read;<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cNO Foot Traffic On Bridge.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Smokey:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cLet me just propose to you that you spend another night here; in the park campgrounds. Tomorrow morning people start streaming outta\u2019 here at Day-break, you can catch a ride, maybe at the campsites then.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Strangely\u00a0looking at Us\u2019. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Now, I\u2019m not telling you to break the Park Codes or The Law, by hitching or strolling across this-here bridge; just remember that. .\u201d Shook\u2019 his head down, once; with that turned around-got in his cruiser, casually drove away..\u00a0Shocked, delighted by him.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      Now stuck at the base of the span.. We agree to set-up the tent later on at the foot of the traverse get a lift over bridge at daybreak.\u00a0 We\u2019 hike back to the campground-till evening\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      The bridge Span\u00a0that evening:<\/em><\/p>\n

      As we\u2019re unpacking to pitch the tent, a Jeep pulls up; a hippie driver at the wheel.. He\u2019s like maybe 19-Years Old.?\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Where you headed.? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola: We\u2019re headed to San Fran.! . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Me:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Head back east\u00a0a week later. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cAll that way for a week.? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Yea man it\u2019s part of our journey-Can-you-dig-it-man.! Seeing the country before it becomes an \u2018Industrial waste\u00a0 land, after they have polluted all the City\u2019s. \u201c. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Hippie driver:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d\u00a0I\u2019m down with you on that.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m Cory:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d I live on a homestead about three miles up the road, you guys can crash there tonight and I\u2019ll drive you back to the other side\u00a0at dawn.? Or I can just drive you over now, you guys can set your tent-up there.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola: That would be so much cooler\u2019 man, to crash at your place.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Me:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Who\u2019s\u00a0homestead is it.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cMy parents, I\u2019m home from school; but their in Europe for the summer. At night I drive down to this campground, pick-up some of the freaks hitching rides. I let them crash at the house overnight. You\u2019re both welcome to crash, but you have to split at dawn.? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      Were like:\u00a0Awesome man; \u2018No problem\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Cory:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cgroove mann, get in.\u201d\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      About two-miles down from the bridge, then\u00a0onto\u00a0a secondary road, again onto a gravel road for a 1\/4 mile, that opens into a vast expanse with a huge ranch house. The road ends in a circular Driveway. A Barn alongside a\u00a0 corral, a couple of Grain silos a short distance away.<\/em><\/p>\n

      A clear\u00a0full-moon, suspended over the farm \u2019. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      The Jeep; comes to a stop in front of the house\u2019. Music blares from the open bottom windows. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018The Doors.\u2019 riders on the storm-is-Oozing loudly from them. .\u00a0 .\u00a0Damn that was a moment for us;\u00a0 as surely as if we had found,\u00a0Yea\u2019 Nirvana.\u2019 . .<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

      \n

      Before we continue in, we\u2019re told the: \u2018Rules &\u00a0Consequences\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      Cory:<\/em><\/p>\n

      1.) \u201d You guys will remain-in the game room; it\u2019s most of the bottom of the house, absolutely \u2018 No-upstairs for any reason.! \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      2.) \u201cNo wandering around the\u00a0 property\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Break Both, or either gets you kick-out.!\u00a0 I\u2019ll call the Sheriff;\u00a0 who\u2019s happens to be my Uncle to remove you from the property.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d No Exception.\u201d!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola: We met a Sheriff, he said he was the Sheriff.? This afternoon at the Bridge; he seem very nice, polite.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Cory:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cDid he suggest you not cross the Bridge.? Because he was hiding right out-of-sight on the other-side, just waiting for you to do just that. Or in the morning he\u2019d arrest you for hitchhiking.\u2019 It won\u2019t be good, he actually hates hippies\u2019. . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      These are the\u00a0\u2018Rules<\/em><\/p>\n

      1.) Clean up after yourself, shower together you\u2019ll have to share a towel. Conserve hot water so everyone else will have some.<\/em><\/p>\n

      2.) Only use the basement bathrooms.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      3.)\u00a0 If you have weed, optional to pass a joint around; turn everybody on or at least offer\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Cool.? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 and Apola rattle out words of acknowledgment and acceptance, which technically have no based to what we are agreeing to:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Out-of-sight, Right-on, We\u2019re Down, Far-out\u2019 and so on . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Come let\u2019s go in.\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Inside we meet about Ten-other hippies that this kid had pickup over the course of the evening to crash at the house. Everyone share histories, grooves to Sargent Peppers. Tell of where we\u2019re from, where, we\u2019re going and vice-versa . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      A few joints; some hash-pass-around and shared-wine.\u2019 . .\u00a0 Around midnight we settle in for the night on a spot in front of a roaring fireplace\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      \n

      We finally get to High Asbury\u00a0in San Francisco\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      We had long since missed the \u2018Summer of Love\u201d but we found groups of hippies-flower-children to party with and some cool places to crash.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sharing stories, music, drugs and distorted philosophies. All I\u2019 can tell here is that from what I can recall.?\u00a0 I can only draw a blank. I don\u2019t remember much, most of the time were stone or either on acid or magic mushrooms, pack with natural psilocybin.\u2019 We\u00a0Ascended into\u00a0Cloud Nine.\u2019\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Only in San Francisco did it seem, that we were invisible.\u201d .\u00a0 .\u00a0 .<\/em><\/p>\n

      At one point, Apola handcuff\u00a0 \u2018Us\u2019 together so as not to lose me; when tripping or partying or crashing at night. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      After a week,\u00a0the\u00a0drugs-wore off, we\u2019d had enough. Headed to our southern route.Taking 101 South-down the California Coast Line to Los Angeles than West on Highway Forty-across to Florida to-interstate 95-North to New York City.<\/em><\/p>\n

      It was a fucking nightmare once we left the Western States.!\u2019 We had to interact with the most backward populations.\u2019 At the truck and rest areas, unfriendly, threatening was the norm with the majority.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Drivers, families, old people, children spit at us.\u2019 At the rest areas some want to pose with Us\u2019 for pictures; or take our picture. They call us names or just threw shit at Us\u2019. Every trooper interrogated Us\u2019.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      One group of men that look like they had been on some fishing trip or going on one.? Were menacing\u00a0 to us;\u00a0 pulling-out-rifles while, casually pointing them carelessly at Us.\u2019 Shouting, derogatory remarks for wrecking the American way of life.!\u00a0 Some of them looked just like the character-Hillbillies\u201din the film-Deliverance.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      It was nerve-wracking for Us\u2019 both.\u2019\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      In Florida we\u00a0headed North staying within the truck stops and rest areas for protected at night, being to-far into the-South-bound-States to trust campsites for safety . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re speeding along with some hippies that had picked \u2018Us up in Baltimore. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Riding-up the Garden State Parkway, In N.j. .\u00a0 \u00a0Another car fill with more freaks, is driving alongside of us. We exchange a few hoots of unity.\u00a0When one of them slaps\u00a0a hand palm spread, across the back passenger window showing us:<\/em><\/p>\n

      What looks like: Two taps of Sunshine.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Hauls.!\u00a0\u00a0Herself out the rear driver-side passenger-window-scratching herself-out-with-both hands-reaching; out far as she can towards the other car.!\u00a0 At least 50% of her body is hanging out the window.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      While, I\u2019 and one of the other hippies hold her steady . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018A\u00a0hippie in the other car does the same.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Hands her the two tabs of barrel sunshine; as the cars are moving alone at 80-miles-per-hour-side-by-side.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Awesome shit!\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      She:\u00a0 had balls.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      She shows me that through life experiences; anyone could rise and go higher and farther in life.\u2019\u00a0 . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cAll you have to do is live it, not just imagine it. Life is not what you see, but what you feel in the moment \u2018you look at it\u201d\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      all I\u2019 saw was her\u2019\u2026 \u2018<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      \n
      \n
      \n
      <\/div>\n
      Chapter 29:\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
      Tijuana, Mexico:\u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
      A nice place to live;<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
      When you\u2019re running from the Law.\u00a0<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \u201cAccept whatever comes to you<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
      woven in the pattern of your destiny.\u201d<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
      Marcus Aurelius.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n
      \n

      Winter wore away, it\u2019s early in the spring; the war in Vietnam is ending. Sleeping-in on a Sunday morning we\u2019re woken by heavy banging at the front door. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola: \u201d Someones wants to connect this early, its 1:pm.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      These fuckers know I don\u2019t do anything till 6: pm. Dragging myself out of bed to the front door\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u00a0take a peek through the glass:\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 see what looks like my long lost half brother.? Is It really Johnny.! With a strikingly gorgeous woman..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I haven\u2019t seen him since I was 15 years old. I\u2019 considered the dude dead for sure.\u2019 The guy goes into the Air Force; we never see nor hear from him since. He disappeared, our\u2019 mom took it the harshest; for years she say crap like:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cHe will show up and take us away from this hell hole. He\u2019ll move Us\u2019 back to the Island.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      It was simpler than waiting for him. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Johnny looks great; we jumped up and down with glee at the fact he eventually made it back to the Bronx and isn\u2019t dead; he\u2019s alive.!\u00a0 It bewildered me that somehow he found Us\u2019.?\u00a0 My Mother was like a gypsy, we\u2019d move every Two to Three\u00a0years, it was what she did.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019d wander in from school on a Friday, virtually everything in the household was packed.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019d say: Mom,\u00a0what\u2019s going on.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWe\u2019re moving tomorrow.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Why.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cThere aren\u2019t as many roaches at the New apartment. It\u2019s $15.00 or $20, Cheaper.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I never believe her because all the apartments in that ghetto where\u00a0Roche and Rat infested\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Johnny tells us all about Texas and Mexico, what he\u2019s been doing for the last 7 years after leaving the Air Force.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Now back to New York to set-up a place for him and Maria. So he said.? . . Two months later Johnny surprises us with the announcement; telling Us\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Maria is pregnant so we\u2019re\u00a0headed \u00a0back to Mexico. We\u00a0want you\u00a0and Apola to come with us.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Me:<\/em><\/p>\n

      We would have to talk about that kind of a road-trip.?\u00a0 We\u2019re set up here, have a lot of positive stuff\u00a0working for us and; we do not\u00a0think we want to miss another City summer, last year\u00a0was an absolute daze\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d I\u2019ll pay all your\u00a0 expansive and your rent for Three months.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Can you really afford that.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cThat won\u2019t be an obstacle\u00a0at all, so\u2019 come with Us.?\u00a0\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      Will consider it:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Thinking, talking about it.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola: It would be cool to spend the summer in Mexico.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      When Johnny comes over for a response. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      When do we leave.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cOne Week.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      The\u00a0 next day Johnny drives up with a 1969; Candy Apple Red \u201cCadillac Coupe Deville Convertible\u201d with a White Top, White \u00a0Leather Interior, we\u2019re excited we\u2019re going in style.\u00a0At the last moment Louie begged s Johnny to take him along, which is cool;\u00a0 will have our own\u00a0 attack commando. If\u00a0 for nothing else, if we were to be fuck with.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Actually, it turns out that his skills are to be\u00a0much\u00a0needed on the streets of\u00a0Tijuana,\u00a0Mexico.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Our first day out, things are going great, we plan a few breaks along the way, just put inasmuch road behind us as feasible. Sleeping in the car on the drive, just stopping to eat, gas, and restroom breaks.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Johnny and Maria take turns at the wheel so we drive for a straight 22 hrs, the first day. The black beauties are starting\u00a0to\u00a0call my name: (Uppers) that I\u00a0took daily \u2026\u00a0 I\u2019ll just have to do without until we get to Mexico where I\u2019ll score\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 have lots of stimulants to stimulate me with the drive there. But I\u2019m out of Black Beauties. They will come out from hiding in 24 hours . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Misreading that as I\u2019ll find out.\u00a0I have a chippie a slight-habit I did not realize I had. How would I.? \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      If I am continually doing them.! it\u2019s a Four day excursion to El Paso, Mexico: \u201cFuck me\u201d\u2026\u00a0 Who knew\u2019\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      The pot doesn\u2019t seem to help much. Bye the beginning of the second day I\u2019m not doing well at all; the delirium had kick-in harder. . With throwing up every twenty-five minutes. <\/em><\/p>\n

      There\u2019s green shit coming out of my nose\u201d it smell horrific. Being in the car doesn\u2019t\u00a0help, everyone is piss at me. Apola forces Louie to sit next to me, so she can be by one of the open windows..<\/em><\/p>\n

      On the Third morning , Johnny makes a detour as we come into the Kentucky border or some fucking where. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I did not understand where we were. Pulling into a Greyhound Bus depot, Johnny tries to scores because no one can take the smell any longer.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Johnny finds someone score downs from. They put me to sleep; which I have had little luck with. I\u2019 slept the rest of the way just-about. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      By the time we reach El Paso,\u00a0on the Texas border on the Fourth day.\u00a0I\u2019ve broken the habit. It was a fucking nightmare kicking that habit. I\u2019ve never used Uppers\u2019 again\u00a0.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      El Paso is a shit-hole\u2019 from what I can see.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Johnny guides us around;\u00a0pointing out the places of importance; which are the best spots to eat & score.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      The essential stuff..<\/em><\/p>\n

      We search for sublet furnished\u00a0apartment before we head across into Mexico.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We find a Two-bedroom apartment and settle in. The woman folk get along awesomely, becoming the girls they are-chase us-man out of the kitchen. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      The living-room had Western-style quality; even though it\u2019s sparsely furnished, lots of dead space between the couch\u00a0and drapes; televised whose day has come and passed,\u00a0Oak wood floors throughout with some scattered rugs.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      That evening Johnny gathers us together:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI have some unfinished business here in El Paso, I will take care of it tomorrow morning.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Maria as you know is from here, she\u2019ll take you guys around for a tour.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      The next morning after Johnny leaves; we go on our tour.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Seven hours later\u00a0he shows up.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Carrying an attach\u00e9; he gathers us again\u2019 around the kitchen table.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d This is what I was doing today; he flips open the case to expose neat stack bundles of $100.00 bills.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d There\u2019s Eighty-Five Thousand there to live in Mexico like Millionaires.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      We all scream with joy for about 2 minutes\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Until Maria crosses her arms, inquisitively saying to him:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d\u00a0Where did this come from.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Johnny:<\/em><\/p>\n

      The attach\u00e9.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Maria:<\/em><\/p>\n

      NO.! THE FUCKING MONEY.!!\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      We stand in utter silence\u00a0.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Now this is an explanation we\u2019re dying to hear, except for Louie\u2019 who is telling Johnny that he could use some \u2018New Nunchucks\u2019 and Sneakers: at which point:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Maria turns to him and saying in the calmest voice I\u2019ve ever heard a woman speak and in Spanish’\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201c\u00a0If you say one more thing you fucking\u00a0pendejo, retard, I will poke out your eyes.!\u00a0 With my two Inch nails.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Do you understand me.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Louie:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cFine: I\u2019ll pass on the sneakers then, but I need the Nunchucks\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      He turns around-goes back to watching the rest of the three stooges.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Maria: I\u2019m waiting.?.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Johnny:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d The\u00a0money comes from an Arm \u2018Bank Robbery\u2019 this was my cut.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Maria, Me,Apola, Louie, stand there with our wide-open-mouth in utter shock,of what just came out of his.,<\/em><\/p>\n

      How much is in the attached<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Eighty-Five- -Thousand. . here\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Maria:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cYou lie to me about why\u2019 we were going to New York, you where\u00a0running.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      You told me you wanted to reunite with your family; for them to meet his future Bride.Then live happily ever after in New York.! While not telling me that the FBI, will be hunting for you.! Looking for you.!! Tell me the truth or I\u2019m walking, now.!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      With awkwardness in the room we excuse ourselves-quickly leave; grab Louie on the way out the door.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \n

      My take on it was: She\u2019ll forgive the lie..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Hey, I know what it was to be dirt poor. I came from just that life and it\u2019s not pretty at all. Never having enough to eat, to live. Depending on others to give. Seeing my Mom work as cleaning women fifteen fucking hours a day, or more to support Five of Us\u2019 on $40.00 dollars\u00a0 A week..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yeah; $100.K would have come in handy, it would have kept the roaches and rats out of our lives, plenty of food on the table every day.! That would have been a plus! \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      They work out their problems.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We agree that we needed to across the border a-sap at first light.. The apartment had hardwood floors, so he found a loss bored in one bedroom and with a screwdriver, jimmy\u2019 it up out of the floor. Socks $65.K of the money in the floor; leaving Twenty-Grand in the attached for travel expenses. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      He tells us if he gets caught, they\u2019ll be money for a lawyer for him, Maria, enough for us to get home.. He finds the landlord-gives him 6 months\u2019 rent and tells him we\u2019re going on vacation.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Stupid.! \u2018ah\u00a0the criminal mind.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Mexico’<\/em><\/p>\n

      We cross into Juarez Mexico that morning, driving to what John tells us is a realtor office.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Inside\u00a0the realtor, a\u00a0woman greets him and seems to know him. They hug and kiss on their cheeks; he introduces all of us to her.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Mrs. Lopez, has great appeal, is well coiffed- Business dress. (Considering the place looks like a dive from the outside) She\u2019 speaks excellent English with a slight Brooklyn accent, but I can\u2019t be sure.? maybe the Bronx.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      They share some small talk, some pleasantries about friends, families hers, mostly. After that\u2019s all done she shows us photos of different homes within a few miles from the North\u00a0 city of Guaymas on the Pacific coast.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Juarez was too close to the border for him.We settle on the Three-bedroom house in Guaymas on a mountain-side with not-to-distant amazing views of the Pacific. Pool, fully furnished in every aspect . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      The paperwork sign; extra keys.\u00a0. Cost $75.00 USD. a month!<\/em><\/p>\n

      We take a few day trips every week; go to all these small towns within 20 miles. We don\u2019t like to venture too far; we don\u2019t forget we\u2019re not in America. We had been stop a few times to show our papers, he\u2019s wanted; he brings a few grand to bribe the Federals.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Convincing..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Our longest trip was to Los Mochis on the Pacific coast. Renting an Ocean front cottage for three weeks at a small resort, truly\u00a0spectacular.! We\u2019re the only \u201cLatino gringos\u2019 there\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      It was getting late in the season and all good things must end:\u00a0 \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Maria was growing outwards; morning sickness had been hard on her. She wanted her Mother. It was time to make a move. So with two more weeks left on the house in Guaymas it being Late-August. We leave Los Mochis. head back to pick-up whatever we have left in Guaymas..<\/em><\/p>\n

      At the house in Guaymas: Apola and I make plans to get back to The Bronx, when we get back to El Paso.,<\/em><\/p>\n

      Louie would go to Puerto Rico\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 question Louie about his choice of destination.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d It\u2019s Sunny, it\u2019s always Warm, the Waters are really\u00a0blue.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      That was his answer.? .<\/em><\/p>\n

      You can\u2019t question that. It would be Four years before I saw Louie again. At least I knew he would be safe with the family in Puerto Rico.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Driving through the border after showing our papers, crossing over into the the U.S. .. We roll into El Paso without incident.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Johnny seems relax but I knew he\u2019 wasn\u2019t; his eyes keep darting back and forth at every light and turn-none stop looking in the rear-view mirror.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Once on the other side, he decides that we will not go back to the apartment. . But instead we will rent at a trailer park; he knows right on the outskirts\u2019 of town; because the apartment might be hot.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      We all Protest.! It\u2019s a very bad idea.! \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Overruled :<\/em><\/p>\n

      The Four-reason-for-our-downfall.<\/em><\/p>\n

      1.) Not taking the money with us in the first place\u00a0into Mexico.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      2.) Waiting another day to retrieve the $65.000 dollars ..<\/em><\/p>\n

      3.) Staying in a Trailer Park\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      4.) Where we attracted the attention we didn\u2019t want.\u201d .<\/em><\/p>\n

      We settle into our Two bedroom sparsely furnished Trailer for what we hope would \u2018not be more than a couple of days at most. <\/em><\/p>\n

      As we try to come up with a plan to retrieve the money, then go our separate ways.,\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      We,propose to John:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Louie and I\u2019 Can go pick up the money ‘Now, while we still half most of the day to\u00a0 work with-then tonight or later or tomorrow morning;\u00a0 you-drop-Us\u2019 off at the Airport.! You and Maria split back to Mexico instead of waiting for tomorrow to move on getting the money?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Johnny:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Let\u2019s to it tomorrow Morning.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      After some more debate; We reluctantly agree\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      The next Morning: Johnny starts off the morning rambling:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI\u2019m not going to prison in Texas; I brought everybody a handgun\u00a0to shoot it out with the FBI.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m assuming we\u2019re in a fucking movie.! Or the twilight-zone; he\u2019s fucking nuts.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      I Can\u2019t<\/i> see Me; Apola and Louie shooting it out in a dramatic ending for Us\u2019 with the FBI, while Johnny and Maria; Jump in the car and slide into a Mexican sunset.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Fucking delusional man\u2019 were \u201cHippies\u201d Shooting guns is not in our\u00a0 cultural beliefs.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      The girls are protesting and howling at Johnny:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Maria:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d I don\u2019t choose to die, I what\u2019to live’ and raise our baby.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola taking up any silence-in-the-air \u2018On me.\u2019 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      realizing that yelling is \u201cNot\u201d in our best interest\u00a0at all; we calm down and take control of what to do next.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      As we’re get ready to drive back to the apartment in downtown El Paso.<\/em><\/p>\n

      J<\/em>ohnny approaches me.,<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI want you to take over as the cars registrar owner if I\u2019m arrested. They wouldn\u2019t be able impound the Caddy, you\u2019ll need the Caddy\u2019s registration to sell it to, get out-of-El Paso; if I am captured and they find the money.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      So now I own a\u00a0car\u2019\u2026 I didn\u2019t even have a driver\u2019s license.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Actually it was surprisingly cool move on his part. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      The Television is on in the background when:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018 A News bulletin\u2019 gets Louie\u2019s attention:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Louie yells\u2019 out.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cThey\u2019re showing a picture of Johnny on a News story.! They now have his other two \u2018Friends\u2019\u00a0 in custody.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Johnny and I enter the room in time for him to see himself on television and hear the Newscaster say:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201dThe FBI announced earlier this morning, that apprehend is forthcoming shortly for \u201cJohnny Martinez.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

      Who is wanted for his involvement in the daring broad-daylight Bank robbery, that resulted in the death of two of the Bank Tellers; both shot in the head as they exited the bank one of the robbers, even though they both comply with all their demands; according to witnesses.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Martinez was the alleged getaway driver. He should still should be consisted arm & dangerous.\u201d\u00a0 \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re all standing in the middle of the living\u00a0room around the television, in stunned silence..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Johnny turns around he-looks scared. . Grabs his\u2019 black backpack starts pulling out revolvers, boxes of cartridges; distributing them at the windows for the shootout.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The girls start crying. Maria is begging Johnny to cease with the handguns, the Baby and so on\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Louie wants to know which window he should select\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      That\u2019s when we\u2019 hear the\u00a0\u201cBull-Horn-Outside.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cTHIS IS THE FBI THE HOUSE IS SURROUNDED.!! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP.!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Chaos, Hysteria, breakout inside,it was just total panic.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      This is declared\u2019 about half-a- dozen-times.!\u2026 or more.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Without a warning-breaking through the door, Men Dress in Black Business suits with white cowboy hats with guns drawn, a few with-long-guns at the ready.\u2019. announcing in a voice of appalling acerbity,<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d F.B.I.– <\/em>get down on the floor.\u201d . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Over and over.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Standing over Us\u2019 with revolvers pointed at our heads continuously yelling, don\u2019t move, don\u2019t move; as we\u2019re handcuffed and swiftly lifted by the underarms and drag-out, over the gravel driveway onto the Backyard, spread face down. <\/em><\/p>\n

      ‘As a News Team yells questions at Us\u2019 while we\u2019re being read our Miranda Rights.!..<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s like a feature.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re each placed in an unmarked cars and transported to the downtown F.B. I. Offices in El Paso. There they take us\u00a0to\u00a0divided-interrogation chambers, interrogation consistent of:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d\u00a0Who Are You.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      They\u00a0didn\u2019t know Johnny was traveling with others. At first they thought we were vagrants hippies that were just hitchhiking with him..<\/em><\/p>\n

      We explain to them, that we\u2019re related but were unaware of what had taken place; during, before or after, nor knew who his accomplices where in the bank heist.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      So questioning us about the bank robbery was ineffective. We had no inkling and no sense of what they were describing to us about or challenging us about.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I say to them:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWhy pass up the opportunity to go to jail, to say that we\u2019re excited would not be accurate; we\u2019re telling you all we know\u201d . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Johnny, had never during our reunion\u00a0or trip had ever spoken about the bank robbery other than when he showed us the attach\u00e9 at the apartment.<\/em><\/p>\n

      During our stay in southern Mexico we had prepared for this scenario on Johnny\u2019s emphasis.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cIf we were to get arrested, it\u2019s simple and uncomplicated way to not become connected:<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      It\u2019s to See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. <\/em>You know nothing; which you don\u2019t!<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      If you know anything or\u00a0 if you express any knowledge of anything. <\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      They will charge either one of you with Knowing and abetting in the bank robbery, or conspiring in a bank robbery, fleeing the country to evade prosecution, illegal weapons possession and anything they think that may stick. .<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      They\u2019ll\u00a0 probably seek to connect you to the homicides that my friends committed. Plus being part of a stick-up-crew that literally had been\u00a0 robbing banks for months before you guys arrived in El Paso.\u201d.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n

      \u00a0They tried: <\/em><\/p>\n

      Eventually after 8 hours.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \n
      They return us to our cells. They put Louie and me in one unit; the girls in lock-up was in a woman\u2019s ward on the lower floors. We had no sense where Johnny was put or if he was even in the same building.?.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n
      \n

      The next morning we\u2019re\u00a0 brought down to a conference chamber:<\/em><\/p>\n

      They advise us they are letting us go, but they had discovered the rental receipt and a key for an apartment in El Paso, in the car glove box.<\/em><\/p>\n

      They wanted to know about the apartment.? If the rest of the money is there.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      We tell them we had stop there for Two night layover; before heading into Mexico after our drive from New York but that was it\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      F.B. I. agent:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d We need your help to help recover\u00a0the monies.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u00a0all play stupid\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I do most of the talking:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Being careful not admit to knowing any of it; to do so would get Us\u2019 charged with conspiracy and suppressing evidence\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Explaining to them:<\/em><\/p>\n

      We don\u2019t know what they\u2019re talking about.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      This continues for roughly two more hours. Finally, they suggest, I take them back to the apartment.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Me:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Maria is the only one who knows the exact location,being she’s\u00a0familiar with the area. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      I ask if they let me talk with Johnny that maybe I can get him to confess exactly where it is.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      They buy it, five minutes\u2019 later I\u2019m in front of a holding cell talking to Johnny:<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Johnny:<\/em><\/div>\n
      \n
      \u201cThey are looking to lock all of you up; don\u2019t let them con you into believing their your friends, they\u2019re\u00a0 not.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      I\u2019m going to do time most likely, so here\u2019s what you need to do.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \u201cWhen they let you go; go get the money wait about a month before you spend any of it. <\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      It\u2019s unmarked untraceable bills. Use it to get me a Lawyer. <\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      If they find the money, split back to the Bronx by selling the car. <\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Take Maria back to our moms, she\u2019ll take care of her.If she wants to head back to Tijuana to her mother\u2019s let her go.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Once I\u2019m sentence I\u2019ll be in touch” \u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      I ask about where the money is.?<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      The money is it still under the floorboards in the bedroom\u00a0 ..<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      “Yes”<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n
      Back in the conference room they question me about the conversion:<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n
      I tell them he wouldn\u2019t tell me, <\/em>I insist it wasn’t there!<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n

      We go back to the apartment;\u00a0after a\u00a0ten-minute search they discover it under the floorboard where Johnny left it\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      like I said: Stupid place to hide money.\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      They take us back and process us out the next day.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The car is waiting for us in the parking lot of the FBI building\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      We get in and take off; we head out of El Paso\u2019 downtown. They follow us around for an\u00a0 hour and they\u2019re obvious about it, because at one point I notice in the rear-view mirror Louie waving at someone.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I realize it\u2019s them..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I ask Louie to stop antagonizing them. We find a spot to park; we walk and talk\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      ‘ We believe the car was bug.,<\/em><\/p>\n

      What\u2019s the plan.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I tell them what Johnny wanted us to do, were to head back to N.Y.C. A-sap\u2026 Sell the car use the monies for airline tickets, he\u2019d be in contact with all of us\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      We head over to the first car dealership we find. Inside I greet a sales rep we talk for Ten minutes,\u00a0he comes back 15 minutes later paperwork in hand. I sign off on everything; he hands me $600. dollars in cash\u2026 <\/em><\/p>\n

      I have him call us a cab\u2026 I\u2019m out the door\u2026 \u00a0While we\u2019re standing there waiting for the cab\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Maria tells Us three, she was not coming with us.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d\u00a0I live here; my Mother is here and with the baby coming I\u2019m going to need support with my child. So I\u2019m going home to\u00a0Tijuana. I might\u00a0 be able to help Johnny with his legal matters.?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      If the F.B.I.\u00a0tries to locate me for more\u00a0questioning,\u00a0they won\u2019t be able to.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      She\u00a0is grown\u00a0women\u2026 I hand her $150.00.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Our cab comes we part-ways.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We never hear or see Maria again\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      So ended that summer\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWe had fun.\u201d\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Johnny:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Johnny gets sentenced to 15 years and spends 10 years of it at the Terre Haute Federal Bureau Penitentiary, for aiding and abetting during the commission of an arm bank robbery, as the getaway driver.<\/em><\/p>\n

      His co-conspirators are both convicted on all counts of bank robbery and murder charges, drawing death penalties, <\/em><\/p>\n

      (Texas what would you expect).<\/em><\/p>\n

      They allow him to take up residence in New York City. He shows up at our mothers house, looking well for just doing 10 years in the penitentiary.<\/em><\/p>\n

      He immediately finds work gets himself into community College-night courses, while at school he meets and marries a woman named Alicia’ . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      A year later they have a child, he had put himself on the right track. In his mid 30\u2019s now, the times of doing what he was doing, which was essentially criminal activity, are over now.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Redemption\u2019 is at hand..<\/em><\/p>\n

      But his \u201cDemons\u201d torment him; after 5 years of the success on the straight & narrow path in society, he becomes re-involved with Narcotics and hook.,<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018He dies\u00a0 2 years later naturul couse?.<\/em><\/p>\n

      A tragedy of society for a man who \u00a0cited from,\u2018 Arthur Miller\u2019s novel;\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201dTragedy and the Common Man\u201d..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I never really knew who Maria, and his second wife, Alicia and their children were.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Louie<\/em><\/p>\n

      My brother never received the guidance he needed. He slipped through the breaks in the social order of life. Never getting the support needed to treat him with his demons.<\/em><\/p>\n

      As I had expressed: The V.A. never undertook anything to support him, they put medications in his pocket and sent him on his way.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I lost track of him at some-point in the early 90’s. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      An Aunt informed me 25 years ago, that Louie died as a Mercenary in a war in Angola.? His body never recovered by either the American Embassy or the regime government he was fighting for. I don\u2019t know whether; Louie\u2019 was buried or if he was cremated.? He disappears from the face of this earth..<\/em><\/p>\n

      What I understood after a few years of research was that \u201cNo One\u201d\u00a0 knew anything.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I think Luis found his-Out\u2019 in the struggle that overwhelm his mind.<\/em><\/p>\n

      rest in peace Louie\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Chapter: 30.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

      I Still remember, Every Moment of Her\u2026<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      \u201cEver has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      Kahlil Gibran<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re<\/i>\u00a0back in the Bronx: Apola and I settle into our routines; one of the first tasks is to pick up a Lb. of weed on consignment. The rents pay till October, so we\u2019re good till then\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I go over to my moms, tell her about our trip to Mexico omitting Johnny\u2019s faith, just that he went back to Mexico with Maria and that she would soon be a grandmother’. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I didn\u2019t have it in me to mention to her it would be another Ten years before she saw her first bore again\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      We go back to partying and telling friends about our experience. Fall turns into winter. I and Apola are having issues about our future, she wants to get married, have babies, not something I want at all..<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI want to get marriage, have babies, that issue takes over our lives.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      That following spring the landlord \u201cSignora Rosa, informs us that when our lease is up in September, we will have to move out. She requires the residence for her\u00a0family coming in from Puerto Rico.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola finds a factory job making about $80.00 a week, with overtime. I find one with Publishing Company as a shipping Clerk.<\/em><\/p>\n

      After I had to concede to avoid dealing and establish a reliable income. We don\u2019t stick around for the lease\u2019 to run out.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We find a place in Greenwich Village on 13th Street and 2nd Ave it\u2019s $200.00 a Month.\u00a0 I tell her we can\u2019t afford it, she insist we rent it away. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I sign a lease to make her happy.’\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      After a few months Apola is not content\u2019 she has to take the subway uptown it\u2019s an 1 \u00bd hr one-way. She leaves at 6:am & gets back in at 7:30pm.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Tensions escalate..<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s complicated..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I can not understand.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      She wanted to move to the East Village.? She knew the commute would be long? <\/em>She now had her different lifestyle; unlike the one we had.?.<\/em><\/p>\n

      So many expectations,\u2019 the end is impending for us. Four months in the New apartment with no resolution we concede to a separation until we can work out our issues. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      She\u2019ll move in with her \u201cAunt Gloria. I stay in the apartment: She; closer to work. I struggle to paid the rent on my own after another Three months breaking the lease; I move back in with my mothers in the ghetto..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m distraught..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Through my connections I\u2019ll decide try to make as much\u00a0money\u00a0as I can to get my own\u00a0place in the Bronx.\u00a0Hoping to convince\u00a0Apola\u00a0to move back in with me.<\/em><\/p>\n

      But out of sight is also out of mind for almost a year since she had moved out from the East Village apartment,she tells me.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI wish to be on my own. Start a different way of life, get into college do something better with my life than this.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m heartbroken, because I know what\u00a0that means \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s over for Us\u2019 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      for a long time, I tried as often as possible to \u2018woo her back into my life with no success.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The love of my life fades\u2019 away from me\u2026.<\/em><\/p>\n

      One day, 14 years later after I had last seen her. I get a phone call, the caller ID shows an anonymous number. I typically do not acknowledge these type of incoming calls, but I answer this one\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I say: Hello and pause\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      The voice on the other side says. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Hi\u2019 it\u2019s Apola Carlito, How are you.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      For a few\u00a0 brief moments, I search my mind for the name and the face to this voice that sounds eerily familiar.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      My mind is blank.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I Say:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m sorry who is this.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I know you from.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      She calls me by my street name:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cCocho: It\u2019s Apola.! \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      My breath seems like it had been taken away. .\u00a0 .<\/em><\/p>\n

      I yell, ‘ OMG, at least a half a dozen times. How did you find me, how you get my number.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I can\u2019t believe it\u2019s really you.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      She tells me:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI ran into your mother at Rays-Bodega on 159th street, (My mother still lived on Melrose Avenue) while visiting my aunt Gloria. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      We talk; I ask how you were,what you were doing.? She\u2019 tells me you\u2019re good, you\u2019ve been successful, and so on. I ask her,for your number.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I hope that was OK\u2019 with you.?, Your Mom offered me this number, I assumed it was your home number.?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t mean to call you at work.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      That\u2019s fine, I\u2019m so happy to hear from you.! I\u2019m an Independent contractor so no problem calling me..<\/em><\/p>\n

      After 15 minutes of back and forth we arrange to meet for lunch around the corner the next day at Marigolds, a cafe\u2019 a short walk from the salon..<\/em><\/p>\n

      We meet and talk over lunch and catch-up on what we\u2019ve been doing with our life\u2019s.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      She had married Three years after we went our separate ways. She has a Son two years later,now ‘Nine years old. Divorced, now for the past Three years.\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sorry, it didn\u2019t work out\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWhat about you.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I went back to Hairdressing school, earned my license, somehow I\u2019ve become\u00a0moderately\u00a0successful\u00a0in spite of\u00a0myself. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m living with my, Girlfriend in a Kibs-Bay Brownstone downtown now. We\u2019ve been talking about possibly getting\u00a0married, in a year or two.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      We reminisce more about the times now passed and all the crazy stuff we did.Who we still saw, if anybody.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      And the way we were; \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Towards the end of our lunch date as we began to say our goodbye\u2019 she seems crushed, unhappy. She never went back to school, like she said she would; to further herself after we had broken up. <\/em>She seems shattered and unhappy about the way, it turned out for her\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      .\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>Surrendering her beauty to the harsh realities of the ghetto and her childlike sense; no-longer the muse she was when we\u2019 were together all those years so long ago now..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Never prepared to leave behind the ghetto, it stripped her dream of the life she wanted and could have had.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      As she cry, tears ran smoothly down her cheeks-onto the table-top, splintering like sheets of glass.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Disheartened-Looking into her eyes, realizing\u2019 that our passion had vanished with our past.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Apola:<\/em><\/p>\n

      “I should have never left, I\u2019m so\u2019 very sorry I broke your love and mine”<\/em><\/p>\n

      La playa De\u00a0la Luna; lives within me always. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      She comes back;<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d And within me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      leaving Marigolds,walking to the edge of the pavement, turning, wraps her crimson shawl around-her; as I had first seen her. Leaning up, kisses me tenderly on my cheek..\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Stepping off the curb, waving down a Cab:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I watch as it draws away, steadily\u00a0melting into a sea of yellow, back into our past.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ve never saw her again, Love was a good reason for everything to fall apart . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      We had a great Run\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cSometimes there is no ending, and that itself\u00a0is an ending.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      Carlito Monolo.<\/span>\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

      Chapter 31.\u00a0<\/strong>\u201d Your Going To Bleed, What\u2019s Good In Life.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \u201cHave the maturity to know, sometimes silence is more powerful that having the last word.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
      \n
      Anonymous\u2019 . . .\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n

      That early spring following the separation with Apola, I had put together a couple of hundreds to get out of my Mothers. I ran into Billy P: \u2018who happens to be searching for a roommate.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      He\u2019s been a friend for eight-plus-years. Rents in a modest three-story building; Billy, occupies the top floor which is a huge double-bedroom two-bathroom suite, that\u2019s a short\u00a0 \u00bc mile walk from Fordham University.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The streets were cleaner-it\u2019s an Italian American neighborhood one of the few such enclave in the North Eastern Bronx that starch from 187th street and Third Avenue by Us\u2019, East all the way over to Arthur Avenue. <\/em><\/p>\n

      Well lets just say that this neighborhood\u2019 was special, you did not go there if you didn\u2019t belong\u00a0 or invited,.It\u2019 could still be dangerous even with a chaperon in those days.<\/em><\/p>\n

      No street corruption.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The noise of the ghetto was silent here.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018To this day, it\u2019s considered:\u00a0 \u201cThe Real Little Italy Of New York City,\u201d. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Billy, had me meet the landlord \u2018Duffy,\u00a0 (An old-geezer of an Irish Man) a month earlier before moving in. After moving in-running into him in the stairwell-I\u2019d\u00a0 be talking to him-throughout the conversations he would say:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I fought in the big One, yo-know, WW Two\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018he would repeat that when ever we spoke with him just about\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      One morning two month after I\u2019ve moved-in, we\u2019re woken by a tremendous amount of noise at Nine,\u00a0Ten in the morning.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We rush down to learn what all the hubbub is all about:?<\/em><\/p>\n

      At the bottom of the first landing we see Duffy, directing all the geriatric tenants and their furnishings out to the street exit.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Billy:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Hey Duffy why is everyone moving-out.? Is there a dispute we should know about?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      So,\u2019 Duffy responds:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cLad\u2019s, you two are the dispute\u2019. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      They hated you two.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Why?<\/em><\/p>\n

      lets see.??<\/em><\/p>\n

      The way you both look, you intimidate the shit out of\u00a0 them.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      We do not like those kinds of neighbors, they told me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re stun: I think\u00a0we\u2019re both standing there with our mouths wide . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWell.\u2019 What to you have to say:\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Billy:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cDuffy, I never play loud music or make a peep, I take care of the place. I put the garbage cans out, remove the snow in the wither for them and\u00a0for you.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      I offer to help them carrying groceries up stairs\u2019.? You know I always paid my rent \u2018In cash, two months at a time, sometimes.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Duffy, come-on-man, you\u2019re not going to make Us move.??\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Duffy:<\/em><\/p>\n

      In his rich Irish brogue:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI\u2019d tell you the truth lad\u2019s .<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s more of the way you two look, they\u2019re afraid of \u201c\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      We both look at each other-unable to understand what he means:<\/em><\/p>\n

      The confusion on our face shows:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Duffy:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cOne of you\u2019 looks\u00a0like Jesus Christ.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Points me out\u2014YOU.\u201d With the fucking ponytail.! \u2018You look like a woman and all the Voodoo beads.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Looks over at Billy\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cAnd you \u2018You look like a Fucking mafioso some kind of gangsta or hood, and what\u2019s with all that fucking gold-chains.?!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Billy:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201chey this one \u2018Saint Christopher, my mother gave me it<\/em><\/p>\n

      Duffy: \u201cWhat ever, and what about all that other shit, around your neck? Stop fucking-flashing it, but it in your shirt.\u201d!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Billy tucks everything into his wife beater: ‘Not much help hiding it.,\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re hushed, to which he replies<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d I\u2019m going to have to rise the rent payment on BOTH\u2019 OF YOU.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Or you can move the fuck-Out.!! follow by:\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      You realize, I\u00a0fought in the big One yo-know and I will\u00a0do what I have to!<\/em><\/p>\n

      as a tread not to mess with him? ..funny stuff<\/em><\/p>\n

      Continues . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWith Seven empty units, I have no option, you\u2019re both are practically the cause of it.<\/em><\/p>\n

      So; if I can bring a few New renters, I\u2019ll bring the payment back down. I\u2019m increase your lease by, $50.00 dollars a Month each.!\u2019 Starting tomorrow the 1st. you leave me no alternative.!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re like, that\u2019s it.??<\/em><\/p>\n

      He continues on:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI\u2019m glad they \u2018Fucking left, because after Ten years, I can now raise rents on the leases, to One Hundred Dollars from $40.00. dollars a month for each unit; they were killing me.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Some of them almost died here, what a fucking shame some didn\u2019t, those old folk where fucking sick as dogs all the time.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I was afraid I\u2019d catch something when I came to collect the rents. They managed to have me over for every fucking idiotic thing. <\/em><\/p>\n

      Some of them couldn\u2019t open the door after coming back from the bathroom; they fucking call me, Two: am in the fucking\u2019 morning.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Me and the Wife had,had it!.. Good fucking riddance.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0After a few more minutes\u00a0Billy and I’ We make our way back to the top floor.<\/em><\/p>\n

      “Well I suppose, we\u2019ll have to just deal with it; until, he rents the units.<\/em>
      Will need to be concerned about who moves in. <\/em><\/p>\n

      If we move forwards and decide to put some blow on the street that could be a substantial dilemma for us.?”<\/em><\/p>\n

      For the next two days we mull over our situation finally Billy says<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cHow about if we lease out all the rooms in the house, rent them out to some of the guys on Melrose Avenue.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019ll look like everybody is a College student; going to school just three blocks away. What do you think.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I immediately move on that.<\/em><\/p>\n

      That\u2019s genius, the only challenge is.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      We have to establish they pay their Rent’.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Billy:<\/em>
      \u201cLeave that part up to me there\u2019s a few of the guys that,would have no problem paying the rent.<\/em><\/p>\n

      As long as we control who enters and goes. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      ‘We give each other high fives and set strategy into motion.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Two days later with a new plan, Billy approaches Duffy.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cDuffy:\u00a0 I have a solution for the empty Rooms, I want to lease out all buildings units.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Duffy seems to be resting there unimpressed at Billy\u2019s bid; his arms crossed leaning against the railing of the downstairs Landing says to Billy<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d How.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Do you have that kind of cash I\u2019ve never noticed you go to work.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Billy:<\/em>
      Duffy, I work at night you know that, I work for Waste Management; to which?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Duffy says:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWhat the fuck is Waste Management.??!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I drive one of the garbage trucks the private garbage trucks not the City Sanitation trucks.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Duffy: Seeming, even least impress at this stage.<\/em><\/p>\n

      So you\u2019re the fucking garbage man.?.!!\u00a0 That figures.! Not missing an opportunity say:<\/em><\/p>\n

      No wonder you stink like shit every time I see you.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Look here, I don\u2019t care what you do for a living, picking-up garbage, shit whatever.<\/em><\/p>\n

      That\u2019s a lot of\u00a0 rent-money, $700 not including your rent, of another $200. That\u2019s 900 a month for you and Jesus Christ so the question is?<\/em><\/p>\n

      “Can you afford it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      To which Billy says give me a moment,<\/em>
      Runs back upstairs to our room, less than two minutes afterward he\u2019s back downstairs<\/em><\/p>\n

      Hands Duffy two-stacks, each packet includes a Thousand dollars in hundreds strap with rubber-bands. When it\u2019s time for more rent just let me know.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      So we\u2019re paid up for a couple of months; am I correct.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Counting-out the Two Thousand dollars:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Duffy:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I don\u2019t know what you two are fucking-up-to-to-have, this kind of capital, and I don\u2019t want to know; but realize this.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Don\u2019t create any fucking troubles or bring the Police to my place.!\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

      If you do.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I will absolutely put your asses out\u2019. This arrangement is, good one time\u2019 and one time only.!\u00a0 There are \u2018NO fucking refunds; so make- damn-certain it doesn\u2019t happen.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Once again; we\u2019re not going to have any fucking problems, Yes.!?<\/em><\/p>\n

      And what; the fuck\u2019 are you going to do with this whole building.,<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sleep in different rooms every fucking night.??\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Billy:<\/em><\/p>\n

      No Duffy what I plan on doing is I have a few friends who need help and places to live, I\u2019m just going to help them, when they get settle in, I\u2019ll stop paying the rent and they will take over that responsibility themselves.<\/em><\/p>\n

      To which Duffy says:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI\u2019ll have to approve of them.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Billy replies:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cDuffy the money\u2019s guarantee.!\u00a0 I will always guarantee the rent for the entire building in cash, what do you say do we have a deal or not.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Duffy stuff the two bundles of hundreds bills into his back pocket and wanders away saying:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cIf your fuck it up\u2019 you\u2019re both out of here, don\u2019t fucking’\u00a0 forget that. !!<\/em><\/p>\n

      We see Duffy, maybe twice a month if that. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      We help move most of our closest-friends in.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Billy gets a Kilo of blow to put on the street,\u00a0he tells me if you help me move it I\u2019ll give you 30% of the profits and when your\u2019re able to split a Key with me, 50.%<\/em><\/p>\n

      Are you in.??<\/em><\/p>\n

      I was tired of not having adequate\u00a0money\u00a0\u2026 So with all the people I knew downtown it was an excellent opportunity, to make some\u00a0bucks\u00a0\u2026 <\/em><\/p>\n

      Over the next 6 months we move a lot of blows downtown. I went from making $120.00 a week before taxes to \u00a0$1,000. a week after two weeks-I quit my job that second week \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      A few months later, Billy and Me’ had everyone in the house dealing either for themselves or Us., On our re-up-Day, Billy comes home with a key (2 \u00bd lb) from a ‘New Distributor, wanting to tire to save five -hundred, on-it weekly’.,<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019d have one of our other\u201d\u00a0 Tester\u2019s\u201d come over. This tester shots it up, determines the quality of the high, in turn he gets “Off’\u00a0 for free\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      ( Yeah, we were against Heroin in every way, it was banned from the house and a rule; break it once your out.. <\/em><\/p>\n

      Coke was the only thing that at that time, everyone and their Mother\u2019 wanted. Hey we\u2019re fucking criminals don\u2019t forget )<\/em><\/p>\n

      Great deal for him and us. Our friend is shooting up in our living room, he\u2019s saying \u00a0I don\u2019t feel anything\u2019 at all. So he cooks up three more times with the same results\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Billy is not happy\u2019 We\u2019 just got beat for $5k \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cStay by a phone because we\u2019re going to re-up somewhere else and will need you to test again.Which he is more than happy to compile with\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      We thank\u2019 him give him a few dime bags from our last batch for his troubles, sending him on his way..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Billy;<\/em><\/p>\n

      When he\u2019s out the door, Billy ask;<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI need you to come with me to try to returner this junk.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Not a good thing to do, because once you\u2019ve paid, it\u2019s yours!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Returns are never, ever, ever, welcome,o<\/em>n a low-level deal:\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

      ( A-key\u2019 was a low-level deal ) \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m obligated to go with \u00a0him on this. If we don\u2019t return it and get the 5k back, Part of the money to re-up is gone.,\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Let\u2019s go get our money back\u2019 \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      He goes over to his top dresser drawer, takes out a few of the pieces, a\u2019 45. colt; a Smith & Western snub nose 38.Cal.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      A sawed-off shotgun from behind the dresser. He puts ammo on the coffee table and we load up. I grab the guns three Mag\u2019s plus one in the rack and\u00a0 (Handel) and\u00a0chamber. He grabs the sawed-off.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Billy puts the \u2018Key into a small-shopping-bag; followed by the sawed-off \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s early spring so jackets are cool to put on.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ll need the concealment for my toys\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Now we think we\u2019re \u00a0bad and we are\u201d in our own fucking mind.!\u00a0 For sure and we need to think we are, because we\u2019re headed to a Biker\u2019s Gang-Club in the South East Bronx.<\/em><\/p>\n

      This ain\u2019t no bullshit we are coming back with our money or we\u2019re going to shoot some Mother-fuck\u2019s.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Am excited! I\u2019ve watch way-to many drug movies lately, like \u201cSuperfly\u201d\u00a0\u2026. Billy drive\u2019s a\u00a0 brand-new \u2018Sup-up Canary Yellow Camaro. Driving it like \u00a0a bat out of hell.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      We pull up on a building that\u00a0is as rundown as most of \u00a0them in the rest of the neighborhood, it looks like a war zone.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We park in-between the entrance and corner. We get out of the Camaro.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Billy, points to a grate ten feet from the Camaro.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWe have to stomp on it for them to open-up.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re going down into hell:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Perfect, no one will hear the gunfire. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      I do a quick surveillance of the surrounding block. While Billy stomps on the grate.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I feel for the cold steel of the guns in the front pockets of my army fatigue jacket,<\/em><\/p>\n

      they feel good\u2019 in my hands\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      A few moments later the grate is being raise, the two metal gate doors flop to the size. Exposes a guy standing near the top of a staircase.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

      who looks like he\u2019s right out of a biker gang fight\u2026 \u00a06\u201d 5\u2019 300lbs +\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking shot him first.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      He greets Billy, he looks over at me; Billy simply\u00a0says<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cHe\u2019s with me\u201d his name is inconsequential\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      As we head down, I counted the steps down, Thirteen great\u201d\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      As we reach the bottom the biker, turns around and goes back up and closes\u2019 the grate. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Looking across the basement, at the far right-side\u00a0is a bar with a counter that, runs to the wall facing us<\/em><\/p>\n

      A big Fat-bloated man waves at Billy as he walks towards him.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We stride\u00a0over to the Bar slowly. Billy flashes\u00a0a brisk\u00a0wave at the bikers on the other-side of the basement and\u00a0<\/em>Bartender.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I can tell he\u2019s not happy to see Billy or me\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I look over to my left as I walk towards the bar and see a pool table with Five other bikers, plus the grate opener.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Six\u00a0 dudes: they\u2019re all wearing the usual biker outfits you would expect. They all look like they\u2019re not happy either, we\u2019ve interrupted their game.<\/em><\/p>\n

      A couple of chicks with straggly hair and too much make-up and some camel toe holding Cue-sticks.<\/em><\/p>\n

      A\u00a0 bunch of beers on the pool tables edge, a half-empty-fifth of Jack Daniels on a crate.<\/em><\/p>\n

      There\u2019s a low\u00a0hooded-light hovering over the Pool-table. A mist of smoke\u00a0permeates\u00a0the\u00a0cellar\u00a0with the stink\u00a0of weed\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      He approaches the Bartender who\u2019s called,\u00a0Fat\u2019s\u00a0with a hasty handshake, exchanges subtleties with him.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \n
      His presence\u00a0is extreme-could repel some:<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n
      Stringy gangling hair, below his brow, sweat silts down onto a pock-marked-face, with set back beady-eyes, blacken, yellowest teeth.,<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      All on a skull as huge as a basketball that matches his body-cover with a food-stain-wife-beater; a<\/em>long with the yellow sweat stain that had seep from his-under arms a long time ago, to match his teeth<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      His belly bulging out the underside..<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \u00a0Billy points at me.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n

      \u201cThis is my front-man.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Fats acknowledges me,by giveing me a stoic stare.<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n
      I nod at \u00a0him.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Then <\/em>I Stroll back to the far-rear wall at the end of the bar counter.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Turning to face the fellas at the Pool-table, never taking my eyes off them again.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Holding tight onto the both pieces in my Army fatigue jacket.Trying to establish who I will I shoot first.?<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Imported choice here.?<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Shoot the huge guy first\u00a0who escort us down from the pavement,now standing at the front\u00a0of the Pool-table.?<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Work my way forward,\u00a0backward.?<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Or do the ladies\u00a0to stop them\u00a0from screaming once the gun-fire starts.?<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      I see no\u00a0weapons\u00a0tuck into jeans or\u00a0at arms reach, there is a long barrel, 12 Gauge leaning against the farthest back wall\u00a0off the Pool-table.<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Fat\u2019s\u201d<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u201d Hey you\u2019re back for another Kilo, Billy boy.??\u201d<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Billy puts the shopping bag we brought with us on a stool in front of the bar, reaches in pulls out the Kilo slapping it the on the Bar, follow by his sawed-off:<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      Billy:<\/em><\/div>\n
      \n
      \n
      \n
      \n
      “No\u2019 I\u2019m back to returner this fucking garbage you gave me 4: hrs ago.<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \n
      \n

      This\u00a0is bogus junk.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      His words float in dead silence.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Tension raises immediately .<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      A deafening silence falls for a moment that fills the cellar as the Fat-man absorbs this\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \u201cWe have Two opportunities\u00a0here and purely one of them will favor you.\u201d<\/em><\/div>\n
      \n

      fat-man:<\/em><\/p>\n

      The conversation with Billy and the Fat-man goes like this.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

      \n

      \u00a0\u201d Im \u2018Not leaving here without my money..<\/em><\/p>\n

      “Or”<\/p>\n

      If you have another Kilo, I\u2019ll test it. <\/em><\/p>\n

      (which we couldn\u2019t)<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018if it\u2019s good we\u2019re done\u201d . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \n
      Fat\u2019s<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \u00a0Man-spreading with his arms on the Bar counter, leaning in looking straight on at Billy say:<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \u201d Hey, I don\u2019t sell or put garbage on the Fuck\u2019en-Street.!!\u201d<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Billy:<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \u201d\u00a0There are Two\u00a0opportunities here to make me happy\u2019 here Fat\u2019s.?<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      1.<\/em><\/div>\n
      You give me a New Kilo, I\u2019ll test right here, if it\u2019s what I need\u2014We\u2019re done.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      2.<\/em><\/div>\n
      We walk out happily with my money.?<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      This is preferred, and what I want to happen.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      actually there is a third \u2018Option.?\u201d<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Fat\u2019s:<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \u201d What\u2019s that.? ,\u201d<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Billy leans into his face, in a calm voice, almost at a whisper but loud\u00a0enough for the boys to hear him in the dead silence. . .<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \u00a0” You\u2019re going to bleed, what\u2019s good In life as you explode:<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      ‘All over the back-Bar from where you\u2019re Standing.\u201d . . .<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      I take the safety\u2019s off the Pistols.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      It\u2019s almost time to rock & roll. You can feel the tension in the basement raising higher by the moment.!<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n

      I hear Billy say to the Fat man.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cHe\u00a0 hasn\u2019t kill anyone since he got back from the-Nam.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 had asked him before we got here, please don\u2019t shoot anyone tonight,\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      He Kept saying on the way here..<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cIt\u2019s been too long since I shot me someone; what about on this run, can I shoot me some-motherfucker tonight.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I said to him: If they didn\u2019t give us back our money, will see’.? .<\/em><\/p>\n

      He just has this urge, you know how they came back from the jungle;<\/em><\/p>\n

      I tell him it\u2019s going to pass\u2026 He just silently\u00a0smiles .<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re, were we .? \u2026\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      So\u2019 yeah, Fat\u2019s It\u2019s up to you which way it\u2019s going to go.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Your choice.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      The hold time these bikers are just standing there like they got caught with their pants off\u2019, like a deer in headlights,standing really still.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m just looking straight at them with \u00a0BOTH hands in my pockets\u00a0.. safety off \u2018\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      A few moments later after the last pleasant exchange:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 hear the fat man say:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d If you really feel that way, why I\u2019ll give you-back your bread, man no need to be unfriendly, it\u2019s a problem if you\u2019re not happy;<\/em><\/p>\n

      hey! I\u2019 got your\u00a0 monies right\u00a0 here.!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Fat\u2019s begins to reaches underneath the bar, Billy lifts the double-barreled off the Bar-brings it to his head as he tilted downward. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Fats slowly raising, holding both arms up as if being shown to the cop\u2019s: \u2018That he\u2019s unarmored leans back down.,<\/em><\/p>\n

      Brings something-up placing on the counter then. Opening what sounds like a metal box to me. I hear him counts out the 5K \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      He hands the money to Billy, Billy quickly ruffles through it; while he\u2019 leads toward me saying.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI\u2019ll go up first, you cover, he\u2019 puts the rubber-band money-the sawed-off, back in the shopping bag\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I remain silent and none responsive to Bill:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I see him turn out of the corner of my peripheral, he walks slowly towards the stairs as he goes by the boys he raises a peace sign to them, saying;\u00a0 \u201cLater.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Goes up the steps and shove the doors open. when he\u2019s at the top, on the outside he yells down,<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018OK.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u00a0 started walk slowly to the steps all the time with my eyes on everyone, all you hear are my footsteps grinding \u00a0the sand under my feet on the concrete floor\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ve kept one eye on fat\u2019s through the mirror that hung on the opposite wall that faces the bar by the stairs.<\/em><\/p>\n

      When I reach the steps, I walk up going glancing backwards. Once I\u2019ve reach the 3rd to top step, I run up.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I hear the grates slam close as I jump into the\u201d Camaro; Billy is turning the key in the ignition a moment later; we peal out\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      We laugh all the way back to the apartment\u2026\u00a0 Good day\u2019s work at the office\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      We never heard from the fat-man and his cronies again, but we are on the lookout for them\u2026 Over that next part of the year.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 and Billy move blow around keeping it on a small-scale, only to close friends. <\/em><\/p>\n

      The house becomes more like an animal house, It\u2019s out of control at times with Drug induced parties going on for 3 days and nights.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      Chapter: 32.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ll Have New Hands..<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      \u201d The purpose of art Is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      Pablo Picasso\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Part-One\u00a0of\u00a0 Five.\u2019<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n

      Towards the end of that summer,\u00a0the house was taking on changes, people were moving away as we restore to pay rents on the empty Units\u00a0controlling who remained there.<\/em><\/p>\n

      It was time\u00a0to move on. Dealing with Billy had its pluses, however it was\u00a0with time for a considerable\u00a0advance\u00a0in my lifestyle.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I looked into getting back into Hairdressing..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I head over to Wilfred Academy on Broadway\u00a0& 50th Street:<\/em><\/p>\n

      At the\u00a0Institute I\u2019m told\u00a0:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d\u00a0The Six Month course goes\u00a0 daily from 9:am to 5:pm five days a week. Or attend\u00a0 Night classes; Three Nights a week for a full-year. Total\u00a0$600.00. not including incidentals.? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      They tell me I can seek\u00a0 a grand or try my luck at the V.A. The\u2019re now\u00a0 providing education benefits to veterans as long, as the school is recognized as accredited.?<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      \n

      The next day, I\u2019m at the Veterans Administration Offices on 26th Street & 7th Avenue ..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m assigned\u00a0an Educational\u00a0Counselor; in their\u00a0back to school program. He take me through the steps of the process; gives me a stack of forms to fill-out..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I sit there and devote an hour filling them out.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I go back to him; plus all my documentation in hand from my time in the Army\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sitting at his desk while he goes over everything:<\/em><\/p>\n

      After about 10 minutes he stares up at me and the phrases out of his mouth are troublesome to understand.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cEverything looks like it\u2019s in order, as far as the paperwork goes;\u00a0but the embarrassment is that the V.A. doesn\u2019t endorse: Homosexual educational program.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWhat.??\u201d \u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s just one of those expressions I\u2019ve never used to describe someone or thing.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Let me explain it to you:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Fagot school.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      And I quote.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201c\u00a0We provide educational\u00a0benefits\u00a0for accredited Schools, that offer, actual Real World Careers. \u2018You don\u2019t qualify for either. . .\u00a0\u00a0You\u2019re obviously, a queer\u2019 for choosing to go to Beauty School and those schools are not\u00a0accredited.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I lost it on that fuck.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Here I am searching to achieve some form of stability in my way of life-This prick is calling me a \u2018Fag, because the:<\/em><\/p>\n

      V.A.\u00a0felt\u00a0that\u00a0 my preference of school; was not Manly\u2019 enough.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Within 5 seconds after does words had\u00a0appeared out of his month,\u00a0I vault over the desk, I\u2019 have both hands around his neck choking him\u00a0as we fall backwards.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We crash onto the floor with\u00a0an enormous\u00a0bang.\u00a0I squeeze as hard as I can; as he beings to pass-out<\/em><\/p>\n

      Two enormous guys finally get me off him.<\/em><\/p>\n

      As I leave him barely conscious on the floor as\u00a0I\u2019m\u00a0drag away.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I realize that the chair he had sat in, was a wheelchair; he had No legs..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m glad he lost his fucking legs in the Nam\u00a0and I assumed he was suffering; Fuck\u2019em.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m physically thrown out of the building and onto the front pavement on 7th avenue and 27th Street.<\/em><\/p>\n

      That translated:\u00a0et.\u00a0 No educational benefits for me.\u2019\u00a0 The V.A. was discriminating against Beauty Schools;\u00a0 as an\u00a0inappropriate program for Veterans:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m distraught about not receiving the benefits. I\u2019m ranting to my roommates:<\/em><\/p>\n

      That\u2019s, some bullshit.! \u00a0I should be able to choose whatever school I want to fucking go too.!! Where I\u2019m I going to get the cash now.? There\u2019s no way I can save that much\u00a0\u00a0it would take months.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Go back to dealing seems like the only option.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ve calm down, Billy tells me about something call a Credit\u00a0Card that the\u00a0Banks are\u00a0issuing call: \u201cA\u00a0Master-Charge.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Now recognized as MasterCard.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201csince you have had a job for at least 6 months, you can get one with a $500.00 limit.! \u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      As destiny would have it, Two months afterward, I\u2019m at the school with my new Master charge-max-it-out. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      There are junctures in life when you eventually cross over.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      My point to ply\u00a0over had arrived. .<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n
      \n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n
      \n

      Chapter 33: Part-Two<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      \n

      I\u2019ll Have New Hands<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      \n

      \u201d The only way to win with a toxic person, is not to play.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      Maison jac.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      My first day at Beauty school I had assumed I\u2019d be competent to glide through. Starting the morning out with an\u00a0orientation follow by a\u00a0demonstration. With hands-on session in the afternoon. Where they would test our ability..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I could not have been further flustered with a comb in my hand, the years I had lost not doing Hair, appeared in my abilities.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      \n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \n
      My training with Manny; and what I had learned in Puerto Rico was not what they were teaching. <\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      What they were teaching was the New York State Board Examination of Cosmetology: I was confident and brash that day. I had my tail between my legs at the end\u00a0of it.<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Apprehension with genuine concern in whether this was something I could achieve.? I would have to do more than evaluate\u00a0the pros and cons.?<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Over the weekend I mulled over whether I\u2019m making the correct choice, decision, or was this another failed attempt at some kind of\u00a0redemption.? I\u2019m confused by not having or knowing if there were any alternative options. I\u2019m filled with self-doubt.?<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n

      It would be disastrous if I were to fail and be in debt to master charge for the $500. Dollars that were non-refundable. To do the next best thing, I\u2019ll seek guidance from the school admissions director.<\/em><\/p>\n

      That Monday morning before the\u00a0 9 a.m. bell, I\u2019m able to get 10: minutes to meet with the admission officer,\u00a0Mrs. Valentine:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Telling her about my time working at the Salon in Puerto Rico with its Celebrity status: What are the chances of working within that Salon-environment.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Or I\u2019m I being unrealistic.? Or, I\u2019m I looking at a \u201d beauty parlor career.\u201d?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Could you share\u2019 your opinion as honestly as you can be, I can take it\u2019.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      This is what she said:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d You can wake up a year from now and still not recognize or know what you want to do or continue\u00a0with what you’re doing now.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Or you can commit to a decision to train here.\u00a0<\/em>And wake up a year from now and be going to work at a Celebrity Salon on Madison Avenue.?<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      Where surely your career will be broadened. There are vast opportunities for hairdressers, who\u00a0are excellent at their craft.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      The very\u00a0best work on the sets of movies, television, Broadway Productions, fashion runway shows, perhaps working for designer house, editorial photo work. You can find you work publish Nationally or internationally.?<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      The opportunities are many to achieve prestige and fame, fortune, it\u2019s up to you. Or you can simply\u00a0work at a beauty parlor in your neighborhood.?<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      If that is all the drive you have in you.?<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      However, it\u2019ll take serious commitment to excellence and perfection to achieve\u00a0working in these Celebrity Salons within the industry.?<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n

      Your first class starts in five minutes, think about what I\u2019ve said; at day\u2019s end come back in here and either tell me you won\u2019t be coming back; I\u2019ll credit you $500. dollars tuition. Or you can tell me you will be successful here.?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Your instructor on Friday said you where one of the few who, she, though, show a glimpse of any talent. Have a great day I\u2019ll talk to you this evening.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      The bell rings, I got up inspired:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \n
      The awkwardness of how unmanly I felt; in a class of mostly 60\u2019 giggling women who all assumed I was gay and carry-on; as if I was gay until they realize otherwise.!<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      That could be an advantage.??<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      I will work in every aspect of my field, becoming\u00a0<\/em>one of the best.<\/em><\/div>\n
      A Session Stylist working on: Movies set\u2019s, Television, Broadway Productions, fashion runway shows, Music Video. Amassing a Celebrity\u00a0Client list-Working with world renown Fashion Designer\u2019s as in-house hairdresser.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Publish for editorial Print work, Photo work, Nationally & internationally Twice in Vogue. Achieving The Status Of:\u00a0 Supermodel Magazines\u00a0Editorial\u00a0Hairdresser of the Year & Winning and Awarded Editors Cover of year in 2006\/2007..<\/em><\/div>\n
      \n
      \n
      \n
      \n
      \n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Attending evening classes, was very different as far as student personality and\u00a0<\/em>ages.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      The demographics at Night classes: versus <\/em>Day-classes that\u00a0are 95.% High School Grads, from New Jersey or long island.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \n
      Night glasses, students were five+ years older then the average 18 yer olds A few college dropouts, then there were a few like me a mix of all three-with one last attempt\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \n
      \n
      \n
      \n
      \n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      I settle in to my day-class routines, but quickly switch to evening after a week for the next year; I\u2019ll be a night student\u00a0\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n
      Six Months in attending the Academy; one night during our break we took at the \u2018Chock Full of Nuts Coffee Shop on the corner of 50th and Broadway.<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
      \n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      I\u2019m introduced by one of the other students, to a stunning and breathtaking student name Martina..<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      She\u2019s Southern Italian, 5\u201911.\u201d Crystal-Ice-blue-eyes, hair as Blond as corn silk; no chemical additives; an absolute scarcity.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Fashion forward somewhat cutting edge clotting; at the time we would say she\u2019 has a very nouveau look to her.\u2019<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \u2018Throw in the Model thing: legs up to her neck, lean with all the right lines and curves to her body..<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      She had been a Day-student there for most of the past year, had been making-up hours, by chance-it was her second week of-night classes.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      I make a point of becoming friendly;\u00a0 Two weeks later I\u2019m on a date with her. She shows up wearing a very little, little black dress; it clings to her exposing the elusiveness of her body. A mouth of shade of cherries, the scent of midnight Jasmine ooze from her corn silk hair.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      Though bit taller;\u00a0 I was exceedingly comfortable with her on my arm. Three weeks in\u2014I\u2019m dating her exclusively.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      I\u2019m in love\u2019.\u00a0.\u00a0.<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      We do all the things you do when you first date. Great clubs, Great sex. Dinner\u2019s, Cocktails lounge\u2019s, Concerts. We plan and talk about our future we\u2019re on a ride of exuberance!..<\/em><\/div>\n
      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n

      We were a couple. I was getting more into her:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018No one else\u2019s had come close,\u00a0since Apola.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Eventually after 4 months of dating, I go meet her Parents. They\u2019re what I would call upper middle class. She has Three sisters a kid brother. Her mother is pleasant, her father.? \u00a0Not so much; he\u2019s owns and operates a construction and cement company in Brooklyn somewhere.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m Puerto Rican: From the ghetto,\u00a0own nothing, have nothing..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m a bad choice for a boyfriend:\u00a0 He\u2019s a racist, is not afraid to display it by his own \u00a0questioning my background and my career choice:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Why is a man doing hair.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Men do Men\u2019s work, Not Woman\u2019s work.?\u00a0\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u00a0blow it off; I remake:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yeah\u2019 but I never would have met Martina..\u00a0 if I was digging holes.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      That irritates him.<\/em><\/p>\n

      With a straight face, he quickly says;<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Where you bore here or over there.?\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      It doesn\u2019t matter:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m still-born an American\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Bottom line, he did not approve his daughter\u2019s choice\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Almost a year into our dating, She\u2019s been staying at my place in the Bronx; which make her nuts having to explain where she stays when she doesn\u2019t go home to Staten Island.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Graduation,\u00a0comes and goes.. We both pass, We\u2019re both happy. Martina\u00a0 gets a job at a fame Hair Salon on 57th Street off Madison Ave.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m working at the job of my dreams on 5th Avenue, & 58th Street. My future looks great.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018I have it all for once\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Martina gets her own place on Staten Island, cutting out her fathers control over her or her whereabouts.<\/em><\/p>\n

      On a Saturday night we\u2019 head back to her place on Staten Island since we\u2019re already downtown on Verick Street.<\/em><\/p>\n

      On\u00a0Staten Island: Cab it to the apartment; we\u2019re-pass-out in five minutes.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re sleeping in tomorrow,\u2019 it\u2019s Sunday\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      At Five: am there\u2019s thumping on the door, it\u2019s a loud booming sound that jolts Us out of bed and thoroughly awake within moments.<\/em><\/p>\n

      There\u2019s shouting at the front door; it\u2019s her father.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cMartina open the door, open this door.!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Martina is in a panic:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d OMG grab your pillow, placed it on the couch. I don\u2019t want him to know we\u2019re sleeping together.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m like cool:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m sitting on the couch as she opens the front door:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Her dad stumbles drunkenly into the room takes one look at me sitting on the couch and goes ballistic<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d What\u2019s he doing here.! Are you two\u2019 sleeping together.?\u00a0\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      On and on,\u00a0Martina tries to explain that I came over so as not have to travel back to my place in the Bronx, so late and to make sure she got home safely.<\/em><\/p>\n

      while she is saying this, he\u2019s going from room to room screaming;<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d I know you live together.<\/em><\/p>\n

      You\u2019re a\u00a0Whore.! You\u2019re Done! In this family.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      You\u2019re not a virgin.! \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      I wanted to say;<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cAh yeah;\u00a0not when I met her.?\u00a0 But I bite my tongue,<\/em><\/p>\n

      Never antagonize a drunken father about his little girl:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Not-being-a-virgin..<\/em><\/p>\n

      He comes out of the bedroom holding a spare pair of my jeans I kept in the closet, for when I stay over, which at that point was three times if that.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cEvidence\u201d\u00a0 I live there.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      It was an insane moment at 5:am\u2026 Thirty\u00a0 minutes later he drives off..<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s not good for her even though she\u2019s a grown woman of Twenty. It was amazing how this man of at least 50, years old had thought his 20-year-old\u00a0daughter was a virgin, in the 70s.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Two days later she calls me and tells me she has to see me urgently.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      That afternoon I head out to Staten Island:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m sitting with her at her kitchen counter.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d I went over to my\u00a0mothers about dad showing up at Five in the morning.<\/em><\/p>\n

      My Mother told me that, my Father has disowned me: I\u2019m no longer welcome to their house when he\u2019s there.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      She cries, how can he do such a thing.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      That\u2019s ridiculous what century is your father living in.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d\u00a0It doesn\u2019t matter,\u00a0he\u2019s old world Italian and I\u2019ve dishonor him and the family.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      I would have\u00a0been put out, a long time ago if he had known I lost my virginity when I was 17 years old.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      What about your mother.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d\u00a0She doesn\u2019t care,\u00a0I\u2019ll talk to my\u00a0sister\u00a0see what she thinks.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Her older sister was a Graduate Student at Albany : \u201cShe will have a solution for Us\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018So she said..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Her advice which turns out to be the biggest contributing factor that ends our relationship within the coming year, forcing me into hiding from a contract hit.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Two days later she calls me with the \u2018Solution:<\/em><\/p>\n

      We meet for dinner by our jobs after work and talk.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Martina:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Antoinette believes we\u00a0 should get married because I\u2019m pregnant.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Go on the honeymoon, get annulment\u2019 Two months after we\u2019re back, will have the money from the wedding, so it should be no problem no one will ever know.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      NO.!\u00a0I don\u2019t want to get\u00a0Married: that\u2019s the worst idea I\u2019ve ever heard.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yes: I want to be in a lifelong intimate\u00a0relationship,\u00a0part of a lifelong\u00a0friendship\u00a0of two people.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re too young.! \u00a0I\u2019m not settle in my career, neither are you.\u2019 We\u2019ve only been dating for a little over a year maybe, that\u2019s insane.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d\u00a0It\u2019s the only way my father would accept me back to the family.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Even if I breakup with you.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ll not be accepted back to the family without being married; can you not see it\u2019s my only hope and chance.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I have a good family that would, No doubt provide support for Us; they\u2019ll\u00a0 make sure we\u2019re well taken care of with a great start and all the goodies.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Babe, we get married, go on the honeymoon. When\u00a0we\u2019re back, will have the money from the wedding to get an annulment.<\/em><\/p>\n

      So it should be no problem\u00a0no one will ever know.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I tell her It doesn\u2019t sound like it would be a good Idea at all.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s filled with major deception of your family.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Not a good way to start off, for me with my New\u2019 family, I don\u2019t want any part of it.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      she looks at me saying:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d I thought you loved me enough to marry me.?? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      I love you, but this way:<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s not our choice.?\u00a0 it\u2019s Us\u2019 being force.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      This is more like a shotgun wedding.<\/em><\/p>\n

      She said:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d\u00a0It\u2019s either that or we part ways, I\u2019ll try to repair my relationship with my family by myself.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I tell her I have to give it some thought.<\/em><\/p>\n

      My mind races with so much doubt. I don\u2019t see her that following week; I don\u2019t speak to her,\u00a0more than twice when I called, all she does is cry.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Not so much about her family abandoning her,\u00a0but about our love not having the chance it needed for our love to grow; because of someone else old world views\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u00a0should had walk, on her right there.?\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m not enthusiastic at all: I\u2019ve got a bad feeling about it. I\u2019m still not good at making decisions\u00a0in my best interest. I want to do what\u2019s right for her and me.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m getting a conscious, it sucks.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      A week later I call her\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 will marry her, only if we can live together starting right away while we plan the wedding. Living in the Bronx would be a hassle to coordinate the upcoming events, besides, I\u2019ll get to know her family, and what I’m in for.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Having said yes: I knew not, the consequences that would be brought upon me. I had no clue that\u00a0I would be part of her father\u2019s deception as it plays out within the family.<\/em><\/p>\n

      She calls her mother, tells her she and I will get married to restore the family honor. Under the condition we live together with no questions ask.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      A week later after moving in together, we\u2019re\u00a0invited back to her family\u2019s house for a celebratory dinner party, with her immediate family, with a\u00a0 special guest name Joe.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      The surprise guest is not that friendly, says little during the meal. I\u2019m not uncomfortable at the table; he seems to watch me intently the entire time but I\u2019m good at ignoring him and not playing along.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u00a0continue to enjoy the dinner party.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      After desert her sisters,\u00a0brother and\u00a0I\u00a0head to the living room to watch a movie on the VCR.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We settle in; 15 minutes into it, her mother comes into the living room sits down and ask me to go back into the kitchen.<\/em><\/p>\n

      “Martina\u2019s father wants to have a quick chat”\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I go into the kitchen at the table is her father and the special guest Joe\u2019 having espresso I\u2019m told to sit down; I take a seat and join them:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Her Father Tony:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI want to introduce\u00a0you personally\u00a0to Martina’s\u00a0 Godfather.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Joe Bonanno.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Joe:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cHi\u2019 how was dinner.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Excellent, loved it..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yes; thee head of the Bonanno Crime Family.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m saying to myself, holy fuck, I\u2019m so fuck\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      He\u2019 interjects instantly saying<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cBeing that Martina is my god-daughter I want reassurance, that you; will care and love her, that you\u2019 will never ever deceive her, strike her.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Threaten her, curse at her, or call\u00a0Martina names that are ugly\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I mean in any way\u00a0whatsoever. You will not fuck other broads even if she shows you her pussy or puts it in your face.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Do you understand what I\u2019m saying here.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m clear on that.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yes:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Thinking: I\u2019m afraid and terrified.<\/em><\/p>\n

      This is:<\/em><\/p>\n

      The godfather and Boss of Bosses on the East coast,<\/em><\/p>\n

      One of New York\u2019s most notorious crime syndicate.)<\/em><\/p>\n

      Supposedly.?\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yes, Sir\u2019 I would never ever consider such behavior or look at another woman.<\/em><\/p>\n

      (I\u2019m a Hairdresser, that\u2019s all I will be doing; is looking at women.??)<\/em><\/p>\n

      I love her very much, all I want to do is marry her, and give her the happiest life<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 can provide her with, no matter what I would have to do, to make that happen\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Staring\u00a0at me for a long minute:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d All right, you seem sincere enough I will hold you to that promise.. if you break that promise.<\/em><\/p>\n

      With a black stare:<\/em><\/p>\n

      IT Will Not Be Good For:\u00a0 \u2018YOU.!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Do you understand what I mean by that.?\u00a0\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yes, sir: Absolutely I do.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d I\u2019m happy we have an understanding. You can go back into the living room with the other kids now.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I get up off the chair thanked him profusely for taking the time to give me such great advice.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I turn towards her father to thank him he\u2019s smirking\u2014I thank him; I leave the room..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I \u00a0know that I\u2019m fuck.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      The mother the sisters everybody was in on it except the father, family or friends \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      That being that\u00a0Martina\u00a0 was pregnant; as long as I was marrying her they would accept her back into the family and somehow nobility would come.<\/em><\/p>\n

      That does not turn out to be the case at all.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u00a0made a deal with the devil, there be no place to hide.. \u00a0I\u2019m so fuck.<\/em><\/p>\n

      That night the\u00a0wedding date is\u00a0set,\u00a0for a month later.<\/em><\/p>\n

      all I can think about is why did I agree to this\u00a0.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Martina is happy, things seem to have fell into place for her, but\u2019 I\u2019m unsure of our future \u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      We have to go to see the priest which is bullshit as far as I\u2019m concern.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We sit in his office and he asks us some of the most ridiculous questions about love, sex, caring\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      I wanted to say:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yeah, I\u2019m being forced to marry this woman because they caught me sleeping at her place.<\/em><\/p>\n

      She wasn\u2019t even a virgin or naked.!\u00a0 Mind you I wasn\u2019t even fucking her either\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Then I want to ask the priest:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Are you also going to be doing\u00a0 the annulment.??<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018We\u2019re blessed, told to go in peace;<\/em><\/p>\n

      Where I\u2019m I\u00a0going to go.?\u00a0I know:<\/em><\/p>\n

      The fucking moon! to hide.? \u00a0\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      Oh;\u00a0I\u00a0know where\u2019 straight to divorce court, then to the moon, so I\u2019m not kill and dump in the East River.!!\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Leaving the church rectory, sit outside the church\u00a0in the\u00a0Car, I\u2019m in the passenger\u00a0side; she turns:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cThere are other family matters: I need to discuss with you.? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      That hangs in the silence of the car: as the rain pounds it..<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018I tell her:<\/em><\/p>\n

      What the fuck, this is as good a time as any, I\u2019m open to more bad news.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Martina\u00a0continues:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cDon\u2019t be pessimistic\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      You\u2019re right:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I shouldn\u2019t say Bad News.’<\/em><\/p>\n

      That is the wrong thing to say after sitting down with your family priest and telling him you\u2019re pregnant.!\u00a0 When you\u2019re not.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      So; No, nothing much else would really surprise me.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      More exciting News.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      ignoring me:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Martina continues:<\/em><\/p>\n

      “My father as you know owns a construction company: People may approach you with rumors, that some of his associates have questionable reputations; that, they have been\u00a0 featured on Television and in newspaper stories.<\/em><\/p>\n

      As mobster-Mafia types, but it\u2019s just a lot of bull-shit and lies, none of it is true, they\u2019re hard working-man providing for their family.”<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m like holy shit: I have to stop her from telling-me-anymore!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Then what she has just said!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I bring my index-finger up,\u00a0 placing it softly on her lips but firmly: She quiets:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I don\u2019t want to know anything at all: I go silent..<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cThen just know this:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWhat you have to remember is never to speak to anyone who tries to speak to you, about my father\u2019s Construction Company. Please, it would be for our own safety.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I don\u2019t know what to say to that:<\/em><\/p>\n

      She fills me, for the next hour on family secrets in the church parking lot as it continues to\u00a0pours rain:<\/em><\/p>\n

      The prefect setting for this type of\u00a0conversation, no one can hear you; with pounding rain outside the car.\u00a0.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      eerie:<\/em><\/p>\n

      She’ connects her family to other family members with some seriously, dangerous family accusations by the authorities..<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cBabe are you good with it all ?”\u00a0 As she lovingly caresses me with. I love you\u2019s.<\/em><\/p>\n

      “It will be great for Us! “<\/em><\/p>\n

      I sit in the car shaking\u00a0 my head back and forth:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m now a conspirator against them, great; can\u2019t wait for the Wedding where everyone will be introduced.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d I didn\u2019t think you would be so upset about it, besides we got a blessing from the Father Thomas.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yup; that\u2019ll help me:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Does that guaranteed me a: No Cement Overcoat.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0Is it\u2019s too late for Us to reconsider.<\/em><\/p>\n

      “It wouldn\u2019t be good,\u00a0 for me, my family, my sisters and specially my mother, and for you to go back on your word.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018How could I not be upset\u00a0about it.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      What happens when the baby is a no-show.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Or are we having children now.??<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d\u00a0When we come back from our honeymoon after a\u00a0 month at most, my Mother\u2019 will tell my father: I lost the baby.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I look at her saying :<\/em><\/p>\n

      I don\u2019t what to know any-of it.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018But I already knew:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cThen will work on getting an annulment.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I start planning my escape from this, Sentence of twenty-to-life without the\u00a0possibility of paroled from either the marriage or her family.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m a reluctant\u00a0conspirator, as I stare\u00a0out the windshield in disbelief.\u00a0.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Dirty little family secrets have a way of being used against you..<\/em><\/p>\n

      The Wedding:<\/em><\/p>\n

      At the Church the father and several family members were abruptly and pointedly-rude in front of other family members..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Her father had come up to greet me:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I extended my\u00a0hand to shake his; he takes my hand shake\u2019s it once, then abruptly flings it to his right with an obvious force,\u00a0turning\u00a0and walking away.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I guess he didn\u2019t approve.? I couldn\u2019t fucking believe it.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I can\u2019t wait to be in this family;\u00a0 yeah it was an embarrassing in the fucking Church foyer. For all of them; since I didn\u2019t respond to any of it..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Press by a man who introduces himself as Uncle\u00a0Pauli who\u00a0would be my uncle-in-law.\u00a0?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Can I ask you a question.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Is it a fact that, Martina is pregnant.? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      I responded with:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Ask her.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Using my head to nod towards her, where she is greeting family guest..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I realize the dress she was wearing: was one I had seen her working on a few weeks earlier.<\/em><\/p>\n

      She made her own clothes, literally from dress designer patterns; she was amazing at it.<\/em><\/p>\n

      It sure made her look pregnant.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yup\u2019 they\u2019re playing the long con on her father and half\u00a0her family:<\/em><\/p>\n

      That\u2019s some evil shit\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Following the wedding vows the reception, moves to a local restaurant.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The best part is what\u2019s coming\u00a0 next:<\/em><\/p>\n

      As we drove West towards Great Kills, to the wedding reception being held at a Moose-Lodge\u00a0 just pass the Industrial Waste Site, that\u2019s right. <\/em><\/p>\n

      ‘You could see its Neon sign from the Staten Island expressway almost 2-miles-away!<\/em><\/p>\n

      As we get up closer, I could see a clear view\u2014atop the roof, of the Neon sign-it’s about 30 feet across and Five ft. tall or taller!. It\u2019s a massive Arrow that\u2019s jetted from one end points downwards across the rooftop to the entrance where a Giant Moose\u2019s head; protruded from above it.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The window shows banners\u2019 that read:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Early Bird\u00a0Dinner Special: $9.99.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cVenison Dinner Specials: Monday & Tuesdays: $5.99.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      We were right on time, it’s Tuesday!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Dinner would be great\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The ambiance:<\/em><\/p>\n

      White Plastic table cloths with red fake flowers in plastic vases that were almost real, among the plastic glasses and beer-mugs. The wall backdrop was of dark wood paneling while animal heads are proudly displayed throughout the dining area as if you were at a hunting lodge..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Just like the sign said.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Perfect for your daughter\u2019s wedding if you lived in the \u201cAppalachian Mountain Backwoods.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Everyone of the guest snap photographs \u00a0with their inst-matic disposable cameras for prosperity.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Aw: Memories.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      We enjoy a Four-course-dinner of a salad, (wilting lettuces \/ vinegar & oil.) passed appetizer composed of pigs-in-blank with a dipping \u00a0BBQ sauces.<\/em><\/p>\n

      (Yummy if you\u2019re 10 years old!)<\/em><\/p>\n

      Followed by the main course of Swedish Meatballs, peas & carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy that was as thick as May-O. All served on paper plates, with silverware of plastic folks and knives on top of folded paper towels\u00a0\u00a0..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Dessert was a lime-green: Jell-O. \u2018Nice..<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      It was an awesome day.! Fill with tension, deceit, misgivings, racist comments, and dirty looks.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \n

      Having your New In-laws go all out for $9.99. per-person, for the Twenty\u00a0people who attended; Priceless:<\/em><\/p>\n

      All for just under $200.00 dollars! too the penny\u2019\u00a0what a deal!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Her father had offered on making reservations in Perth Amboy, New Jersey\u00a0at a Three hour-Fuck-motor Inn; located conveniently downwind from the toxic fresh kills landfill on Staten Island.<\/em><\/p>\n

      It would be a tumultuous love affair and a tempestuous marriage.<\/em>
      One where I would be concerned\u00a0about my life for years:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Two days later we\u2019re on our honeymoon to Aruba\u2019 for 7 nights,\u00a0which we paid for..<\/em><\/p>\n

      We had\u00a0a great time.??<\/em><\/p>\n

      \n

      When we get back from the honeymoon:\u00a0<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      \u2018 We jump start-into our careers- Martina is thriving, she would take a giant leap forward in hers.<\/b><\/em><\/p>\n

      One day she\u2019s shampooing hair at the Salon, her model looks attract the attention of the client whose hair she is told to wash. Turns out the client owns and runs one of the biggest Model agencies in the world\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      FordModel Inc.<\/em><\/p>\n

      She invites Martina\u00a0 to come by the agency for a test shoot:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018She goes, as a lark:<\/em><\/p>\n

      A week later; just like that, she\u2019s offered a \u2018One Year Contract:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Four\u00a0\u00a0Months later:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018She-in a Five-Page Fashion Spread in Vogue:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Our Lives\u00a0would never be the same-again\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Who Knew\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      \u00a0<\/div>\n
      \n
      \n

      Chapter 34.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      Part-Three:<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      \u201d Get active in your own rescue \u2014 if you care for yourself at all \u2014 and do it while you still can.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      Marcus Aurelius<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      Two months after the Aruba honeymoon, out of frustration she declines to bring up or talk about the annulment and where we are with it.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Pressing her on it..<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re going\u00a0on approximately two\u00a0months now\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Her response is not what I hope to hear..<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201c\u00a0I was thinking since we\u2019re already married why not just stay marry and make it work.?\u00a0\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I come back with: effectively when; were you going to tell me of that outcome.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      You have me\u00a0caught up in this net of lies,\u00a0someone can execute me for it like that mobster guy if he is who I suspect he is.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cDon\u2019t worry about him, I\u2019ll never let that take place.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      That was not assuring to know\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      What about you being pregnant.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201c\u00a0I informing them that, I lost the baby when we were back a month from Aruba. Most ask how you were taking it.?\u00a0 I informed them you were\u00a0 distraught and\u00a0 having a painful time with it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018I can not believe you do this too me!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m\u00a0realizing: how the fuck; will I get out of this.? \u00a0It\u2019s developed into a fucking nightmare.!! It has to come from her wanting to leave me\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Why would she leave me.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      The simplest approach for a woman or spouse in any relationship to end a relationship\u00a0is to Cheat on her!!!.. Making certain she hears about not from just one woman, but from 2,4, maybe 6 of them. I can do this.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      That may hasten my cement dive into the East River.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      It would thrill her father.?\u00a0fuck\u2019em.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I see no substitute routes if I plot it correctly, I can disappear easily enough in the City or would it\u00a0 be time to leave the City to be safer.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Deceit is the convert out\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Martina stated to travel\u00a0to Paris to work the shows\u00a0she\u2018 be\u00a0gone for a week at a time if not longer.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Which left me by myself in the empty house with nothing to do but wait around for her to come home only for her to leave again within\u00a0a few days for another week or two.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m not happy; I\u2019ve just turn 24, married and sitting at home waiting for the wife. I had to come up with a strategy; that\u2019 was getting out of this marriage alive.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2018d persuade her best friend even if it\u2019s unethical, It\u2019s a plan nonetheless. I\u00a0needed an out.. Dead wasn\u2019t it..<\/em><\/p>\n

      The morning after she\u2019s gone,\u00a0I\u2019m woken by noises downstairs\u2019 I\u2019m like shit there\u2019s someone in the house. I remember I lock all the doors before I went to bed.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Who can it be.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I know it\u2019s not Martina\u00a0I had just spoken with her the night before from Paris.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I get out of bed and walk over to the bedroom door to hear more clearly and what\u2019 or who\u2019s in the house.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I go back into the bedroom go over to a closet, step inside get a baseball bat I kept leaning against the inside wall by the door (Hey I\u2019m from the Bronx\u2019 I trust no one\u2019)<\/em><\/p>\n

      While in my underwear I quietly walk down the hall tiptoeing down the stairs.\u00a0I\u00a0hear pots and Pans clanging, talking, laughter.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I relax, quietly walk into the kitchen..<\/em><\/p>\n

      There in the kitchen is her Father with 3 or 4 other man cooking, eating breakfast.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I say hey what\u2019s up.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      He looks at me and seems annoyed like I had done something wrong \u2018<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201c\u00a0Nothings up; I\u2019m just making Breakfast for my man what about it.? Why don\u2019t you go back upstairs for more beauty sleep\u2019 when I\u2019m done I\u2019ll let you know.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I say nothing to him I turn and head back up as I leave:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I hear him and his men\u00a0laughing making comments, how he fucking put me in my place..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Martina comes home two days later the next morning while we have our Breakfast. I tell her about her father being in our kitchen at 6:30 in the morning\u00a0 and how he degraded me in front of his crew.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      What\u2019s up with that\u2019 and why does he have a key to our home?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Her response is enough to want me to scream at the top of my lungs.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201c\u00a0What the fuck are you talking about.? This is his house.!! <\/em><\/p>\n

      He was just probably joking when he said those things about you: Besides he can come and go as he pleases he pays for us to live here if you dislike it, leave now.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I respond with:<\/em><\/p>\n

      He\u2019s in our kitchen at Six in the morning with a crew of dirt-bags looking men; they ate leavening\u00a0 behind all the dishes in the sink-pots-Pans on the stove half-eaten-food on plates. <\/em><\/p>\n

      Didn\u2019t clean up after themselves, the kitchen was a pigsty; and\u00a0there\u00a0piss all over the bathroom floor and toilet blow.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI hope you clean it up, like I said, It\u2019s his house.\u201d..<\/em><\/p>\n

      A few days later she tells me that\u00a0I should stop doing hair because it would make her \u201cFather happier about me\/Us\u201d.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I ask her what\u2019s the problem now.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Well, she says:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201c It\u2019s embarrassing telling his friends what you do for a living.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I do not understand what you\u2019re getting at here.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201c\u00a0He feels that you should do more of a Man\u2019s job\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Totally blown away by this\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      And do what precisely.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cHe has an opportunity for an apprentice at his business you would benefit by accepting this position, not only would he look at you like more of a man\u00a0but he\u2019d feel that\u00a0you are a man.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I can\u2019t explain how I felt at that moment that my wife and her father thought I would be more of a man because I could be hauled fucking bricks up and down a ladder and spread cement from a cement truck<\/em><\/p>\n

      I thought for a moment that I should go over to his house and plunge a fucking Pick-axe into him; show him that I can also work for her fucking Godfather, that I\u2019m\u00a0\u00a0also made out\u00a0of some serious Violence.<\/em><\/p>\n

      But that won\u2019t and didn\u2019t make me a man.<\/em><\/p>\n

      So I should give everything up I have work for so far; so that your father can see me as more of a Man?..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Never mind I\u2019m working at one of the most prestigious\u00a0Salon in all of New York City.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Not\u2019 respectable enough for him or you.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      The insult by this bitch had put the nail in the coffin as it was. The fight ensued over the weekend. <\/em><\/p>\n

      On Monday night before she was to leave for Paris as she\u2019s walking out the door; I say to her.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Fuck you and your father.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI believe you’d\u00a0be making a serious mistake\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I respond with, I\u00a0will do what I\u00a0fucking want to do.! <\/em><\/p>\n

      Not what your father thinks I should do!! And fuck you and your father and the white horse\u00a0you both rode in on.!\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Have a good trip and when you get back, they need a bathroom attended down at the lodge where we got married,\u00a0because that\u2019s about all the talent you have.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      With that she slams the door-goes out to the waiting Cab\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Time to fuck her best friend\u2019s \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      That following week she\u2019s home for a week, we barely talk.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The following Monday morning she tells me she be gone for a week starting tonight with an evening flight”\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      My first though is, plenty of time to get one of her best friends into bed.. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I remember how her best friend Nicole flirted with me since the day I met her. <\/em>She was always saying how bad she feels about me being all alone all the time. once saying Carlito,<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cIf\u00a0 you ever want company, “Please call me” <\/em><\/p>\n

      Martina need not know, It will be our secret\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ll test that.,\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Nicole is a beauty. Green eyes long straight blond hair. An amazingly physically tone body from being a runner. Her best\u00a0feature was the fact she was entirely shaved from her nose down; something that did not become mainstream-culture till the late 90s\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      She was way ahead of her time, an uninhibited nymphomaniac! \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 call her early that evening, chat for a few I ask her:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I \u00a0would love your company can you come by.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      She comes over She\u2019s in bed with me within 10 minutes after she there\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWhy waste time, let\u2019s get to know each other in bed\u201d\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      That Friday Nicole\u2019s best friend\u2019 Fabeola who was a Nicole look-alike. calls about how\u2019 she is so \u00a0jealous of Nicole, she share all the details.<\/em><\/p>\n

      If she can also keep me company.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d No strings attached, Nicole doesn\u2019t have a problem with it; can I come over on Saturday.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Who can say no to that offer:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yes!<\/em><\/p>\n

      She\u2019s has, more of a timid manner to her, with a little girl type of mindset who loves to be\u00a0told she was bad and preferred to be disciplined for it.. I spank her a lot!!..<\/em><\/p>\n

      What a freak! loved, her!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Martina\u2019s friends \/ acquaintances\u00a0 were apparently into deceit of their best friend:\u00a0 Including a few from her own agency. I\u2019m being pass around.?\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I feel bad.? \u201cNOT\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      The only time I didn\u2019t have someone over was when she was home\u00a0.. Sometimes we go out and meet-up with these same girls for dinner, clubs, Bar hopping. You would assume that\u00a0they were going for an academy awards, as they were\u00a0 pretending to be her friend.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      All the time I\u2019m hoping for one of them to slip up, blow OUR\u2019 cover, but they don\u2019t\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      New strategy.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      Romances one of them that will rat\u2019 me out after she\u2019s in love and I break-up with them.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Let me just\u00a0point out something here.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI wanted to get caught, just a fact.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yes\u2019 I was just a cheating husband and having fun!\u00a0\u2026 I go out to place\u2019s that me and Martina would go out to.\u00a0Hoping\u00a0 someone who would call her telling her I was seen!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Guess what Martina.? But it never happen\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      This is not something to be proud of (cheating) \u00a0I had a beautiful highly sexually arousing wife, who was a deceitful lying bitch living at home. Who had put my \u2018Life on the line, by her lies to her parents and her whole family.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Deceit\u201d was a never-ending goal, for the failure of our marriage\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cAgnes\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Bye now I had, had \u00a0affairs with at least a half-dozen of her friends, acquaintance over last 4-month period\u00a0\u2026 One of Martina\u2019s acquaintance I\u2019 had also slept with introduces \u00a0me to \u201cAgnes\u201d at the Labor Day weekend \u00a0pool party.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Agnes, is 23 years old \u00a0has an \u00a0amazing body, Light Green eyes, with deep auburn hair down the middle of her back. Well proportion.<\/em><\/p>\n

      She\u2019s a Teen Magazines model, that could still look Sixteen for the camera.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Also pre-Med at N.Y.U.\u00a0 \u2026 \u00a0I like\u2019d\u00a0 this woman right away as a person. Young, gifted, vibrant, intelligent.\u2019 She didn\u2019t sleep around or with me for a while.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I spent time with her\u00a0\u2026\u00a0 After a time I even thought that\u00a0it might work out between us once me and Martina\u2019 went our separate ways.. (\u00a0Delusional, Yup\u201d)..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Maybe because I started to cared for and she for me\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018She turned out to be the one that finally break\u2019s up my Marriage\u2019\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s now the year before the\u00a0 \u201cAmerican Bicentennial \u201c\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s early February around Six months \u00a0into my Affair with Agnes, that I have been seeing her. <\/em><\/p>\n

      It soften the pain of still being Married\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Martina and I\u2019 have been at each other\u2019s throats about how neither of us is affectionate to each other. We have not\u2019 been intimate in as many months\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Me and Martina could not seem to find common ground to fix the marriage. I had to explain how I felt about our lives not panning out the way she had plan.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Why was I so unhappy.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Your\u2019 father keeps interjecting into my life-our Lives.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      Like with his insistence\u00a0that I can become an electrician or an Air conditioning repair man.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201c\u00a0I can get you into the unions of either local.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Her responses are:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201c\u00a0It\u2019s all\u2019 your fault that\u00a0you\u2019re not happy. All you have to do\u2019 is what my father say you\u2019 should do\u2019.. You\u2019d be happier\u201d\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 tell her:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 will Not\u201d do what He\u2019 wants me to do.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 will not become the \u201cMaytag washer repair man\u201d you fucking cow!! \u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Valentine\u2019s day is set to roll in, in Ten days from now. Martina has plans for dinner for us\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

      She makes reservations at one of mine and Agnes\u2019s favorite restaurants..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yeah, this should be good\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      The end is near I\u2019m thinking\u00a0..<\/em><\/p>\n

      We get to the restaurant on time, I\u2019m greeted like the regular that\u00a0I am. As we walk in I\u2019m ask if I\u2019d like my usual table that\u2019s available.? \u00a0I\u2019 respond with a yes \u2019that would be great.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re \u00a0seated\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      The server comes over says:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201c\u00a0How are you doing tonight, \u2018good to see you again\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      By this time Martina is glaring at me with contempt.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI did not know you came here.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I come all the time; I respond\u2019 the food is excellent.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWho do you come with.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      What difference does it make.? Obviously not you\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      We sit in silent order drinks, have pointless conversion\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      The subject turns to her career and how wonderful her life is, how better it would be if we could work out \u201cMy indifference\u201d in our lives..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I make a point of being cordial: saying\u2019 \u00a0\u201clet me explain sometime to you\u2019 once and for all.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I have no indifference\u00a0in my life; what I have in my life is women I married because I wanted to do what was \u00a0right for her, but\u2019 mostly because I loved her.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      But all I have gotten from it so far is grief and constant nagging because I won\u2019t change my career because it\u2019s\u00a0 \u201cnot manly enough\u201d\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 do not want to become the Maytag repairman\u201d!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m constantly being reminding that it would be better for me if I do.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I have a wife that is never home, a racist Father in-law, a home that her family can come and go as they feel fit anytime day or night.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m also reminded about me not owning it.!\u00a0 And should be graceful about it! Because I have no right to privacy at my home.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Should I go on for you.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Because I want to make sure that you understand why I might be a tad piss off about not being happy about \u201cUs\u201d\u00a0 or being a “Man”. Lets not forget the deception we pull or should I say, ‘You\u2019 pull on your entire family.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I won\u2019t\u00a0 bring that into or present conversation.. I don\u2019t want to point fingers here..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m sorry if I did not turn out to be, the \u201cHenpecked Husband you had hoped I\u2019d be.!\u00a0\u2026 Dinner is over.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      We head back in silent; I pull up in front of the house-she gets out; I tell her I\u2019m going out to meet my friend Anthony at a bar on Hylan Boulevard where we hung out.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m somewhere else \u00a0in 20 \u00a0minutes\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I arrive at my favorite cocktail lounge It\u2019s dimly lit and made for couples if they want to share quite\u00a0intimate moment.\u2019 It\u2019 gave you that feeling even when its was not packed, which it is on Valentine\u2019s day.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Everyone is dress elegantly for the evening setting. Two minutes \u00a0later I\u2019m \u00a0having a Double Jack Daniels on the rocks. I\u2019 walk over to the phone with my drink; Agnes is waiting for my call.<\/em><\/p>\n

      She\u2019s there 15 minutes later\u00a0..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I had made sure I\u2019m sitting at the far end of the bar, to watch her when she walks up.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Seeing her walk into the restaurant, through the separated bar entrance. I wave to her\u2019 she sees me; she strolls towards me I watch her with awe’.<\/em><\/p>\n

      As she seems to float across the floor, she wears a Blood Red Dress that clings to her; it show off \u00a0the perfect outlines of her body. Her makeup is flawless; her waist length-Hair is wave, and swings with her every stride.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Being that\u00a0she modeled she\u2019 shows off her cat walk in her 3 inch heels all the way over towards me\u2019 as if walking the runway, while seducing me with her Eyes. When she\u00a0 reaches me she kissed me passionately. \u2018wow I\u2019m in love!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Every man and woman in that room\u2019 had \u00a0their eyes on her\u2026 I felt alive:<\/em><\/p>\n

      After a Drink at the bar we get seated for dinner. We have a few appetizers and a couple bottles of wine.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We exchange Valentine day cards. I tell her about my evening with Martina and that it\u2019s time for me to move on. That night I never make it back to the house on Todt Hill \u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      All I wanted was to be with her\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ve \u00a0saved enough to move back into Manhattan, within the last Three Months. There\u2019s an apartment that I can get into on the East side, 4 blocks away from the salon\u2026 If\u2019 I can get a deposit over there within a few days it will be sweet!\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Two days later I come home from work and Martina is in the Kitchen waiting for me\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      10 seconds after am there she pulls out the Valentine\u2019s day card Agnes gave me!\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I went through your jacket the one you wore when you went out without me Valentine\u2019s day.!\u00a0 You call me to say\u2019 \u00a0you\u2019 were staying with Anthony that night, because you were too drunk to drive!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 found this card from that little ugly Bitch! too you! in the inside breast pocket of your jacket (She knew who she was through friends of friends, having had met her twice.? )<\/em><\/p>\n

      What the fuck is going on here; are you having an affair with her.?!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Well, this seem like the perfect moment I had been waiting for.Though it took me by surprise! \u2026. \u00a0It\u2019s time to open the floodgates..!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I give her both barrels\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Not only am I dating her, but I also have fuck\u2019 half of your\u2019other, friends.! \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      While you out traveling ignoring me. Most of \u00a0your \u201cfriends\u201d call, then came over to spend the night, that included \u00a0\u201cYOUR BEST FRIEND Nicole.\u201d She turn-on all your other friends, onto me\u2019.. pretty much that\u2019s how it went\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      She\u2019s stun\u2019 seems not grasp the reality of what I just\u00a0told her.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      she takes a seat at the kitchen table\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I realize that maybe I was too harsh.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      She breaks down, cries hysterically.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I felt like a creep..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I could have been softer with that moment, but I had, had it with the masquerade. <\/em><\/p>\n

      After about 10 minutes of crying she calmly gets up off \u00a0the kitchen chair, walks over to the coat rack grabs her coat, bag, Keys; turns to me saying:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cBe gone by morning. \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      She\u2019s out the door I don\u2019t stop her.. A few moments later, I hear the car: She \u00a0drives off.. I know she\u2019s headed to her mother\u2019s house.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I get a bottle of J.D. out of the cabinet poured myself a tall one-sit\u00a0\u2026 \u2018Not the way I had hoped it would have gone.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I decide that if am not dead in the morning; I will just pack my shit and leave. It would be the best thing to do\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m done here for sure I don\u2019t own this house and they won\u2019t need an eviction notices I\u2019m sure.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ll \u00a0be gone in the morning\u00a0..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I call Agnes and prepare her for what\u2019s coming her way\u2026 She totally calm about what I told her transpired\u2026Not to worry she can handle herself and would be all right\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I tell her I\u2019m sorry it\u2019s going the way it is, but I did not want to deny it and it would have been impossible too, with your Valentines Day card in her hand.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The best thing to do was be up-front\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I sleep little that night nor hear from Martina. I don\u2019t try to\u00a0call her at her mothers. I try to understand what I could have done differently.??<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sleep was not in the clock. I ponder what the future will hold now.? \u00a0I will be on my own after almost \u2018Two years.<\/em><\/p>\n

      What kind of future me Agnes will have, if any.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      How this will affect her.? Whether our relationship will hold up under all the scrutiny that\u2019s coming\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      The death threat \u00a0from her godfather.? \u00a0I can\u2019t come up with any clear answers\u00a0\u2026 All I know is that come morning; <\/em><\/p>\n

      I need to be on my way back to N.Y.C. I\u2019ll call in sick, check into a hotel, go to the bank take my share of whatever money we had saved in the joint account.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m happy that I had to open a separate checking a few months ago the extra will come in handy in anticipation of this evening\u2026 I drift off to sleep\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I awake before sunrise; the house is quiet\u2026I get my two suitcase from the closet-put them on the bed, pack. I\u2019m done in the hour-I quickly shower, dress head down stairs.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Call Anthony; I tell him I need a ride to the Staten Island Ferry.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI\u2019m on my way, what going on.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Me and Martina are done;\u00a0I\u2019m moving out\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ll explain it when you get here.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I go in the kitchen make something fast to eat. clean up, grab my bags.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Anthony is punctual.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I walk out the front door, walk down the drive put the keys to the house and car in the mailbox-close the lid.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Anthony pulls up..<\/em><\/p>\n

      So does Martina\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      With her sister the Co-conspirator and contributor of our love\u2019s demise..<\/em><\/p>\n

      The first few words out of her month are “You \u2018Fucking Bastard! Follow by a dozen other words I never heard her say\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      she was angry..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I ignore her and continue to load my bags in the car\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      she still screaming at me loudly,<\/em><\/p>\n

      I respond with a more calm voice:<\/em><\/p>\n

      There would be no winner in this conversation.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Her voice is the loudest, the neighbors come out and stand outside their front doors.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I try to hurry it up I see that Anthony is eager\u00a0to leave.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I finish, I turn to Martina and I say:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m so sorry it\u2019s ending\u00a0 like this.<\/em><\/p>\n

      She hauls off and slaps me across my face hard enough to turn my head to the left side, the force Shoves me backwards onto the car door:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I grab my face and winch as the burn soaks in..<\/em><\/p>\n

      she takes a few steps back in anticipation of me striking her back..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I get in the car and we drive off..<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018So ended my marriage to Martina \u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      In the City the apartment I had hoped to get doesn\u2019t pan out, I\u2019m to late.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I check into a dive Hotel.\u201d The Seton\u201d on 40th and 3rd to keep a low profile and save money. I\u2019ve told no one except Agnes\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      Chapter:35<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      Part 4: <\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      \u00a0“You can’t forget that,running out of time <\/b>before<\/b><\/span> running out of life is a\u00a0<\/b><\/em><\/span>problem”<\/i><\/b><\/span>.,<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

      Carlito Monolo. .<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

      The Hotel accommodation is modestly-dingy single full-bed with worn yellowing linen on it, facing the rear of the building-it will serve until I can track down the apartment on the East Side. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I had taken Ten Grand from the joint account leaving Fourteen; having Three from my separate account; I transfer that with it. Enough to carry-me over for a few months.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Two weeks on Martina had not reached out, which was unexpected; but maybe not.<\/em><\/p>\n

      A month on I receive a call that obliges me on a trip once again for my life. I keep attracting people of questionable morals, if I\u2019m ever to take leave from tragedy? <\/em><\/p>\n

      I had to have control of my presence, in the moment of tragedy:<\/em><\/p>\n

      The call goes like this:<\/em><\/p>\n

      The front-desk pages me at my station.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I pick up my line: 1.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Receptionist:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201d Carlito,\u00a0 Line 2. you have a\u00a0 New client request; a male he wants to schedule an appointment\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I click over-pick-up line 2.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Hi:\u00a0 How can I help you.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Caller:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cIs this Carlito\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I instantly have a dreadful impression,the impulse to hang-up is instant as his accent says.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Brooklyn:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yes, how can I help you.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Listen carefully:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Calmly without agitation or intense emotion:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201c\u00a0You broke a pledge: That shows up with a value you must pay:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Pausing:<\/em><\/p>\n

      There\u2019s no place to hide or run in The City for you:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Because you\u2019re\u00a0dead.!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      The phone goes silent at the other side.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m rattled:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I immediately pack my tools, notify the receptionist I have a family emergency on the way-out of the Salon.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Lying low at the hotel, I access my situation:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u00a0have adequate money to maintain me at the hotel for more than four months tops without struggling, hiding-out will suck; and it\u2019s not a long-term-option. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ll have to leave the city and soon..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I can not go back to Manny\u2019s in Puerto Rico; Martina knows the histories of me hiding out there. <\/em><\/p>\n

      They would definitely\u00a0try to encounter me there. I must surely drop off the grid:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I come-up with what I think is-possibly the best move:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Hide in plain sight: Concluding to head back to Puerto Rico, hid-out at Playa Del Sol, on West coast in Rincon.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Two weeks later, I Totally Vanish..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ll Lived there for the coming year; working at a hostel in Rincon, one of the qualifying Olympic surfing capitals of the world, the other being Hawaii..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I led a Bohemian lifestyle, my hair is long again,the bear is back and so are the bead’s., I\u2019 waiter do cornrow hair for the tourist on the waterfront for pocket-money.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I had,reach out to Agnes once I had settle in:<\/em><\/p>\n

      She, had come to stay with me for Two months, before heading to Los Angeles to attend UCLA med-school to become a Pediatrician. <\/em><\/p>\n

      While there with me she implores me to join her, move in together near \u201cUCLA\u201d while she attends Medical in September.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I fiddle with the notion for a while even though she tells me she could not easily come back after she leaves, because of the riggers and pressure of what her courses will be like the rest of that year\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I tell her \u2018I did not think it would be secure or distant enough!.. \u00a0I can\u2019t make that move because it\u2019s too soon I didn\u2019t choose to put her life in peril, but it will be in L.A. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      After one of the best summer I have had. We part at the airstrip. Expressing to her that as soon as I feel \u00a0it\u2019s safer I\u2019ll be there for her\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      We call each other weekly for a few months, thus the phones go silent after a while between us\u00a0.. Out of mind, out of sight, out of love.. I\u2019 never see her again or known what became of her..<\/em><\/p>\n

      After a while, I\u2019 felt \u00a0the need to be among more creatively, liked minded societies,as opposed to the surfers.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 preferred to be with a more varied, multicultural\u00a0individuals, to wander, pursue more adventure almost as a \u201cCitizen of the world\u201d of sorts\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m going home..<\/em><\/p>\n

      A year and half in, <\/em>I set up the earliest fight available:\u00a0 <\/em>I make a few calls to some friends a week before I leave that own me.,<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s time for them to paid; they\u2019re more than happy too\u2019. <\/em><\/p>\n

      All I needed was a place to\u00a0crash for a couple of months.<\/em>
      \u2018New adventures awaited me\u2019\u2026.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Within two months in N.Y.C.\u00a0 I have a place at a salon on Madison avenue on 64th Street. <\/em><\/p>\n

      Two months after that I\u2019m in a new apartment downtown on the lower East Village. It\u2019s clean, but I\u2019m not surprised to see my old friends the cockroaches.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Easy to get to all the \u00e9lite clubs within 15 minutes in either direction\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      A New \u201cClub \u00a0has open up\u00a0in Midtown, it\u2019s call Studio 54. I read it\u2019s sick\u2019 can\u2019t wait to \u00a0go.\u2019<\/em>
      Things go great over that next Six months. I hardly think of Martina, except when I see her spreads in a number of other fashion magazines.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m thrilled she has moved on, but there\u2019s \u00a0that question about our: Annulment and if there a contract out there on me.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I thrust it aside for the time being, it\u2019s not something I need to do soon\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Two years after settling back in Manhattan, on really cold February evening after leaving the salon; headed over to 60th & 5th avenue to grab the Subway. downtown, a block from the \u201cPierre & Plaza Hotels. <\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s a Saturday evening I haven\u2019t made any plans for the weekend; or the night as yet, being I live in N.Y.C. something will give\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

      As I hustle to make the next subway, while rushing to get out of the chill; rounding 5th avenue, my head down fighting into rushing wind driving at me from Central Park. <\/em><\/p>\n

      Just as I round the corner, I smash right into a woman heading out of the Subway.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      We crash like a head on collision.!\u00a0 Nearly knocking each other over\u2019 her bags go flying everywhere!.. My tool bag almost,ends up in the gutter!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I apologized while I\u2019m leaning over and handing her packages,shopping bags,as I’ begin to stand-up alongside her:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 recognize her:<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s Martina..<\/em><\/p>\n

      We remain there gawking at each other dumbfounded..<\/em>
      I\u2019m waiting for her to whack me on the other side of my face:<\/em><\/p>\n

      She beams and says:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cCarlito, Hi! how are you!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I reciprocate just as friendly\u2019 & cautiously, as her\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      We awkwardly hug and kiss each other on the cheeks, suggesting to each other how delighted we are to see one another.<\/em><\/p>\n

      As we chat a moment\u00a0more, she asks me:<\/em>
      \u201cWhere are you headed.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 tell her, I\u2019m headed downtown, what about her.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI\u2019m staying down the block at the Plaza Hotel. Can you join me for a friendly drink at Vic\u2019s?\u00a0 \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I seem hesitant: <\/em><\/p>\n

      “Come-on join me; there\u2019s a jazz group playing; let\u2019s talk over a drink, we need\u2019 to catch-up.? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      Her asking didn\u2019t sound like a request:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Somewhat reluctantly I agree:<\/em><\/p>\n

      At Trader Vic\u2019s\u00a0 being early we get a secluded table in a corner, order drinks.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The dimly lit Piano Bar gave the space an atmosphere of intimacy. Jazz vocals float across the room accompanied by the horn as soothing blue note\u2019s of the piano premeditated the air, as we relive\u00a0cherish moments that had been over:<\/em><\/p>\n

      As my fear slowly drips away I\u2019m occupied with quiet foreboding dread, emotions oozing throughout my mind.\u00a0.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The question that needed asking-moment had finally arrived:<\/em><\/p>\n

      So tell me should I be afraid for my life: ?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I wanted to make sure that I ask point-blank, without any indication that question was coming.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Facial expressions are tells\u2019 of the truth:<\/em><\/p>\n

      In a croaky low voice:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cMy Godfather came to me, a short-time after you left; asking me if I wanted your promise to love me till death due us part be en-force\u2019 .? \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      Me: And you said.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      She says this with a blank stare, her dead Blue eyes look into to me as if she knew she had the power of death over me \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Continues:<\/em><\/p>\n

      “I thought\u00a0about it, even knowing from his assurance that, No-one\u2019 would ever connect me or my family to your disappearance.”<\/em><\/p>\n

      Knowing she carries the evil of her father within her, fury and fate would Collide in a fateful moment.?\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

      Was my bumping into her: just a set-up, by a bump & drop ploy. Would leaving this lounge bring me to my death on the pavement.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cNot to worry it\u2019s safe for you out there.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I felt like I did not want that on my conscience, after some soul-searching I realize that I had; in a big way contribute to it all.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I said to my Godfather please let it go for me.\u201d\u00a0 . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s now close to midnight, we had talked, ate, drank for at least four hours if not longer.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I finally look at my watch:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Well, I guess it\u2019s time to leave..<\/em><\/p>\n

      She stares at me stating:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI want to prove to you that I have forgive you<\/em><\/p>\n

      Stay with me tonight.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m completely taken by this:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019d\u00a0 love to!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cGreat, I\u2019 have a suit upstairs that faces the park, you\u2019ll love it\u201d\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ll be sleeping with my wife, for the first time Two half-years\u00a0\u2026<\/em>
      We made Love like it was our first time couple with more intensity than the years we were together.<\/em>\u2026<\/em>
      I\u2019\u00a0wake in the morning in an empty bed\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      finding a note:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cThe universe came together giving Us; another chance at our love; like the one\u2019 we had known by letting Us\u2019 share in each other ..<\/em><\/p>\n

      If merely for one last time- \u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      Always in my love, Martina\u2019\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Our divorce became final Two years later..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I heard after the divorce, she dropped out of modeling soon after, disappearing\u00a0 from New York City.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ve never seen her again \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Chapter:36<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      Why Pass Up The Opportunity To Go To Jail.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      \u201d Burn Baby Burn, Disco Inferno.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      The Trammps.<\/span> \u2018<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

      living on the East Side of the City was refined and as unpretentious, I loved that neighborhood. Some of the leading-known Designer with the most recognizable\u00a0names in the fashion\u00a0industry, pepper the locality with Boutiques.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s a 5-minute stroll to my favorite restaurant-Daly\u2019s\u00a0Dandelion\u2019 on 3rd Avenue; I\u2019m a regular most evenings. <\/em><\/p>\n

      Directly across the street facing it, is Bloomingdale\u2019s. And a hop to the Salon off\u00a0Park Ave. The salon sits across from Fiorucci on 60th. Street<\/em><\/p>\n

      That year I formed a new sleuth of new friendships thorough Salon clients. A unique client name \u201cSamuel, he preferred being called Sam\u201d who look like a young Marlon Brando: <\/em><\/p>\n

      In The Wild One but with Suits & shiny-ties,who was about my age-who also lived on upper-East side. I began running into him at the Dance clubs.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      One night seeing each other; having drinks at the China Club we begin a conversion. Recognizing that we appreciate a lot of the same shit; so we began too hang-out more-becoming friends.<\/em><\/p>\n

      A couple of months later; he invites me to come up to his place before we head out.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0It\u2019s a sprawling High-rise Condo\u00a0with dramatic views of the city. Looking West across Central Park; and both up & downtown\u2019 from the 36th floor.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Enjoying the views, waiting for him to finish-up, I notice something that draws\u00a0 my scrutiny: A photograph of a Stallion, autograph\u2018 by his grandfather; other family members are gathered around a horse at the Winner\u2019s circle at Belmont Stakes, circa:1973.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Me:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Sam: is that really\u00a0Secretariat.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      He casually mentions that\u00a0he\u2019s the Grandson of the man who owned the Stallion \u201cSecretariat.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cAnd This\u00a0Condo.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      At first I assumed he was full of shit; \u2018not for nothing but a lot people are full of shit, notably in N.Y.C.. But not as spurious and backstabbing as the ass-holes as those in L.A.<\/em><\/p>\n

      He wasn\u2019t full of shit after all..<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2026 Sam had a limo at his disposal: On this Saturday night, we\u2019re hitting our favored: \u201cCafe\u2019 Central\u2019 on Amsterdam avenue & 78th. street a few blocks over from the renown China Club.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Cafe-Central was one of the First\u2019 original restaurants or club\u2019s, with velvet ropes at the entrance; that were parted for us as we step up to them, it was rich\u2019\u2026 Inside we\u2019d see most of cast members of\u00a0 SNL among other celebrities.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We like hanging out at the Bar most of the time, some Saturday nights we\u2019d reserved a table\u00a0 or catch a cancellation.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018We never fail to meet a Woman or Two,we would ask her, them, to join-us for their company.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

      However after dinner we\u2019d part-ways or take them along with us. Finding our way back to the condo at the end of the night, to share her or them.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      One Saturday evening, we see a stunning women over at the Bar by herself, fending off\u00a0 Men. Needless to mention\u00a0she was striking..<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Sending her a note with the server, inviting her to join Us\u2019 at our dinning-table for Champagne & hors d\u2019oeuvre..<\/em><\/p>\n

      She happily comes over saying:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cGentleman,thanks for saving me:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m Kayna.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I look over at you Two after reading your invite: Thought; Can either one of them\u00a0convince me to be dessert.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Her bronze skin was supple as silk, \u2018Oozing with sexuality.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sam:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cYou must have read our minds we where planning on having you for desert..\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      She graciously sits, unfolding the dinner napkin in one swoop-move it\u2019s perfectly laid on her lap.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Saying:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWhy pass up the opportunity to go to jail with you two tonight.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      We order dinner and sip champagne with the evening meal.<\/em><\/p>\n

      She\u2019s a 25-years-old, Brazilian, tells us she was the second runner-up for<\/em><\/p>\n

      The Miss. Brazil Beauty Pageant; in New York City the previous weekend and looks it\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      After dinner Sam say to Kayna:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cAccompanies us for the hold night.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Kayna:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWhat will we be doing, \u2018the hold night?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sam explains our plan in detail, she would be ours in every way physically.<\/em><\/p>\n

      NSA..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Will pay for everything, all she has to do is order it\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yes\u2019 She was thoroughly into everything else, we would do with her..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Saying:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201c\u00a0I can\u2019t wait to wake up to both of you if that\u2019s where it goes\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      We leave Cafe Central\u2026 Stop downtown score an 8-ball on the East-side; arrive at\u00a0Studio at midnight.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Spending the next four hours at the spoon-room, where not surprising we see most of the crowd from Cafe Central.<\/em><\/p>\n

      After dancing, drinking and sorting coke, till 4:30.am; after last call we\u2019d head back. Our limo is awaiting.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The limo takes the West side highway uptown:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Driver saying:<\/em><\/p>\n

      There is a traffic issue on 2nd avenue, that\u2019s empty out onto neighboring streets and avenues; so will go uptown on the West-Side highway head crosstown through central park and back downtown, on 2nd avenue, it would get us quicker to the condo.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018We don\u2019t care, we\u2019re in our limo.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The Brazilian beauty is undress and naked, as we head back, \u2018We agreed that we will have her get out of the Limo and walk through the lobby of the Condo, into the elevator to the 36.floor butt-ass-naked except for her heel\u2019s as part of our erotic theme and game. She\u2019 agrees to it! \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      As we drive-up the West-Side highway, naked and feeding on us like a vampire; we\u2019re laughing and conducting her to do crazy shit in the back..<\/em><\/p>\n

      (Definitely\u00a0not\u2019 hurting her in any manner\u00a0physically)<\/em><\/p>\n

      She comes up for air; saying to us:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cBefore we get to your place, I\u2019 have a confession to make.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 must confess to you both that I\u2019m a Married Woman.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m getting even with my husband for cheating on me with my Sister\u201d\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      It crushes the moment\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sam\u00a0makes the limo driver stop\u2019 right on the center uptown lane. forcing the beauty out of the car butt ass naked.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Slams the door shut, stands-up in the limo; sticking his body out the sunroof and flings her panties, followed by her heels, saying:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cExplain being naked, coke-up\u2019, drunk\u2019, Fuck by two men, found\u2019 wearing nothing but your panties, in heel\u2019s at 5:am on the West-side Highway; to your husband when the police take you home.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      That should get his attention, that you\u2019re plenty more; Disturbed than your Sister!.<\/em><\/p>\n

      As we rode off with her hollering at us, we\u2019 quickly call the police to describe, a Naked Drunken Brazilian Woman\u201d on the West-side Highway.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019 had been a warm muggy night after all\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      That early Fall\u00a0Sam tells me he\u2019s going out to Los Angeles\u00a0to chase an acting career. I should go with him.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      It sounds good but he\u2019s the one with a connection in L.A. with a guaranteed\u00a0 audition out come\u2026 I pass on L.A..<\/em><\/p>\n

      We catch-up later in my life in L.A.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I had also struck up a close friendships with a hairdresser named Sal. He, Like me is straight. We\u2019d party at Studio 54. & other \u00e9lite clubs of the era.<\/em><\/p>\n

      He Could\u00a0step up to the doors, they separate the throng and Rope.\u00a0Let in without as much as challenging him; Or if he was on the guest list.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I ask:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sal:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI\u2019m \u2018constantly expected to be on it, plus one\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yeah great: but why, how.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sal:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cThat\u2019s the way it is\u201d..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Before I met him I\u2019d get in about 50% of the time. So now I constantly preferred to hang-out with him; wouldn\u2019t you.?\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

      He\u2019s getting in the most happening clubs in N.Y.C. were the leading celebrities of the presents were gods and Sex, coke, Disco was everything\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I ask who did he know.? But he would \u00a0never give me a straightforward answer. Other than \u201cI know people.\u201d Yeah, but which are the ones that are getting you in.?\u2019 \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      One night we\u2019re lying low\u00a0at his place. He said\u00a0to me<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cCan you be counted to protect secrets, can you know a subject and never mention it again?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018You know where I\u2019ve come up and where I\u2019ve been:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cYeah\u2019 but that\u2019s not the question I ask is it.? \u00a0Because I can relate to you as a person and I think I can trust you. If I trust you and you\u00a0 prove me mistaken, it will need your life to fix it \u201d..<\/em><\/p>\n

      It floated there, dull as hell. All he\u2019 had was a vacant stare in his black eyes, with no other expression.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Moment of certainty, I\u2019m considering.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I can just get up and say hey I don\u2019t want to know. Walk out and end our friendship on the spot.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Instead.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I say:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019d pledged my life on it.<\/em><\/p>\n

      That\u2019s a sentence I should have amended.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cIf it\u00a0ever leaves this apartment, It will cost you your life\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      He gradually gets\u00a0up off the\u00a0couch; waves me to accompany\u00a0him into\u00a0the kitchen. I sit at\u00a0the counter; he opens the\u00a0refrigerator leans\u00a0down, opens the vegetable drew, clutches a parcel that\u2019s cover in\u00a0foil and\u00a0places it on the counter.<\/em><\/p>\n

      He gets one more out from the frig.\u00a0He looks at me saying:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cThese \u00a0are 2 1\/2 lbs \u00a0kilo-one is Peruvian flake \u2018which is a pure cocaine block. The\u00a0is Clear Methamphetamine Rock\u00a0both are pure in every sense of the word. I can cut both Twelve times, and it can still take a couple more hits, seriously.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      I never\u00a0cut neither.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 package it, like I get it.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yes,\u2019 It\u2019s\u00a0extremely\u00a0expensive only\u00a0people with serious money can afford it. Still better that anything you can get\u00a0anywhere on the East-side.\u00a0I move two kilo-each month at the clubs. That\u2019s why they let me in.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      To be continued in Chapter 39:\u00a0Part Two:<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

      Chapter: 37 Part-One.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      Blood Red Sand:\u00a0<\/em>An Incident in a small space.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      \u201cIn a closed society where everybody\u2019s guilty, the only crime is getting caught.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      In A world of thieves, t<\/em><\/span>he only final sin is stupidity. \u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      Hunter S. Thompson.\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      I had met her as a client at the salon; Her father was a NASA Space Engineer who contributed to the design of\u00a0\u00a0the space suits that traveled to the moon.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Her family had infuses in her the uncertainties of dating outside her race, which was Norwegian.\u00a0 It was an entertaining to appreciate, that here she was, Dating a \u201cPuerto Rican\u201d … <\/em><\/p>\n

      Siobhan: was 27 years old, delving into all they told her \u00a0\u201cNot to do\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 Lived in Love with that girl.\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      She was na\u00efve in a few respects, about life owing to her upbringing, which is not an unhealthy point. She had never actually\u00a0been anywhere further than Ithaca, under-Cultured for\u00a0New York City.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Having, a high-I.Q. In a postgraduate curriculum, Cornell Business school for Health Care, hoping to achieve a PhD. She was likewise the Supervising Director of a Senior Living facilities in Old Greenwich Connecticut.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Gifted with brains\u2019 & beauty. Platinum Blonde\u00a0hair, brilliant Green Eyes, full mouth, 5″ 6′ and 110 lbs; all in a statuette body with luminous skin, without a trace of a blemish anywhere. <\/em><\/p>\n

      A, walking-erotica …<\/em><\/p>\n

      A few months into our newfound love for each other, if you could reason it.? \u2018More like an unhealthy Obsession: Which is the choicest cordial of New-Love, when it appears from both-points..<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      Jamaica was a destination I continued hearing about then, everyone I spoke to would gush about, this Island in the Caribbean sea; where \u201cGanja\u201d is rolled into these enormous spliffs you\u2019d smoke on the beach and reggae music was in the air everywhere.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \n

      \u00a0I decided to try and get away with her and spend more than a weekend together.<\/em><\/p>\n

      At dinner that weekend I say to her come away with me to Jamaica\u00a0in the <\/em>\u00a0Caribbean?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Will, Lay-low on the beach, Drink, Eat, have Sex all week instead of just on the weekends, that was the hook, being that she seem to be a bit of a Nympho .?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ll pay my pleasure, just organize the trip for Us\u2019?<\/em><\/p>\n

      She Happily agrees to this..<\/em><\/p>\n

      She\u2019 been nowhere further than Cornell University at Ithaca N.Y. what, could go awry?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Four weeks later we\u2019re on our way to Jamaica … She had booked us into a Montego Bay resort …<\/em><\/p>\n

      Which I had discovered was not the choicest area to go to. I resolved not to pay attention or inquire; it should all work out?<\/em><\/p>\n

      The travel agent had guaranteed location and accommodations as the choicest place for new lovers, to her\u2019.\u00a0.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The departure is routine, we\u2019 arrive late morning on time. <\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s 1977 this terminal looks like we\u2019re at\u2019 a 3rd world airport.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Our Hotel Van is to pick Us\u2019 up; we\u2019re to provide the Two sets of\u00a0transfers to the driver, the other Two on the way back, everything is paid for. Outside of the terminal the driver had flagged us down with a cardboard card with her last name on it.<\/em><\/p>\n

      On the road to Montego Bay the driver is particularly\u00a0nice and polite with us.<\/em><\/p>\n

      He\u2019s wearing a \u201cBlack Power T-shirt with a fist in the front, jeans, sandals, with a Pull down Black, Red, Green color cap.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The dreadlocks dangle from underneath.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The van is a piece of junk\u2019 (I paid for this.?) He starts out by inquiring where are we from.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Is it our first time here.? How long are we staying.? Typical questions ask of tourist I figure.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Myself I\u2019m not one to offer out much information to a stranger\u2019s back home never mind the taxi driver.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI trust no one, still don\u2019t to this day\u201d …<\/em><\/p>\n

      I add little,Siobhan is going on and on during our 15-minute ride. At one point he focuses on me\u2019,<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cHy Monn\u2019 I\u2019m your monn in Jamaica\u2019 anything you wish\u2019 I can get.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I say:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Will see if something comes up that\u00a0I might wish for.?…<\/em><\/p>\n

      I go silent..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m just thinking, I want to check in, hit the sand, bar and her later. \u2018Yes, it was a preoccupation when I was with her: \u2018rightly so\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      We pull up to the hotel curbside.<\/em><\/p>\n

      It has, \u2019Alabaster White columns, groups of blossoms all over the property, across the roadway from the beach it looks good. It\u2019 appear like it did in the brochure: I\u2019m relieved\u2019\u00a0..<\/em><\/p>\n

      But it\u2019s all window dressing.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      As Siobhan opens the door and gets out, the driver faces me.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cOh, yeah Monn; there\u2019s a $50.00 surcharge American, for the bags”<\/em><\/p>\n

      The monies exchange at the time is Six to One, green back\u00a0 …<\/em><\/p>\n

      What are you saying; we had transfers from what I understand they provide for bags and for the drive here and back.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cBut the bags are not.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I say, Okay.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The driver is gleefully as he gets out to go unload the bags from the back of the van.<\/em><\/p>\n

      On the curb I whisper to Siobhan:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Go, inside and check us in; I\u2019ll deal with the bags (2) \u00a0I\u2019ll be right in.<\/em><\/p>\n

      She takes her carry-on\u2019 and heads in\u00a0..<\/em><\/p>\n

      The cabbie had gone around the back, taken the bags out, placing them on the sidewalk,\u00a0is smiling from ear to ear\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m not paying this motherfucker one dime other than a tip … ( I\u2019 know when I’m being hustled’ )<\/em><\/p>\n

      I step in front of the bags, he\u2019 stands to my left side with the stupid grin on his face,<\/em><\/p>\n

      I go in my pocket, pull out maybe $80.00 dollars in cash.? \u00a0I peel off a $5.00 bill, hand it to him …<\/em><\/p>\n

      He stares at it like he can\u2019t make out the denomination on\u2019 the five-dollar bill\u00a0..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m \u00a0watching his expression the whole time, he looks dumbfounded\u2019 … I start to walk away, rollin the bags behind me.<\/em><\/p>\n

      He yells:<\/em>
      Hy monn\u2019 you made a mistake monn, it\u2019s $50. Dollar American!\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Stopping, turning to him:<\/em><\/p>\n

      NO; I did not make a mistake\u00a0.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2018m from NYC asshole I\u2019ve done that Con\u2019 in Times Square when I was 13 years old. <\/em><\/p>\n

      However if you say I\u2019 own you $50. Bucks; then lets go ask the clerk at the front desk if there is a mistake on my transfers?<\/em><\/p>\n

      If my transfers did not cover the bag\u2019s here, if there\u00a0a surcharge for the bag\u2019s:\u00a0 I\u2019ll give you the $50.00..<\/em><\/p>\n

      He turns walks toward the front of the Van, cursing at me under his breath.<\/em><\/p>\n

      This would be the norm in Jamaica. Someone was always trying to rip us off\u2019 almost everywhere; We\u2019 went\u2019…<\/em><\/p>\n

      They check us\u2019 in; we head up to our room … In the room I take one look, I know I hated. The room is like the \u201cfuck hotels \u00a0you\u2019d find in midtown New York off of, Times Square\u201d in the late 70s.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Dingy looking bed coverings, with squeaky springs, rickety furniture and dimly lit living room. The bathroom was like something right out of the Ghetto, mold everywhere in the shower stall, yea\u2019 no Tub.. <\/em><\/p>\n

      Siobhan looks distraught.. She begins apologizes; I don\u2019t let her.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI\u2019 can\u2019t understand why that travel agent deceived me.” ? <\/em><\/p>\n

      I struggling to present a positive spin on it. I maintain we will solely be in here to sleep.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      She cries\u2019 at that\u2019… I\u2019 reassure her… <\/em><\/p>\n

      I knew the minute we walk in the room, we would not be here over Two nights. I wanted it to be special and great for her\u2019 this was not it.. I\u2019 have to do something about it.?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      She seems to let it go with reluctance. I try to make the best of the fact that\u00a0we were in a shit hole for our first time away together a real cluster fuck\u2019 …<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ll be right back, <\/em>I\u2019ll have a chat with the Front Desk Ok.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0I head down to the front Desk with the Brochure …<\/em><\/p>\n

      At the front desk the clerk says:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cHi. how can I help.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I’d<\/i>\u00a0 really\u00a0like\u00a0to speak with management… <\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cYes Sir\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      He turns goes into a small office off the front counter, he\u2019s in there a few minutes, comes back and say\u2019 just a moment, please … \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      A well dressed middle age Man appears from the back a few minutes later, Boutonniere and all …<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cGood afternoon Sir\u2019 how may I assist you.?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I wipe out the Travel brochure from the travel agent,\u00a0<\/em>I lay it out on the counter. Now\u2019 it was my understanding when I book my vacation at this hotel; that <\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018This room-Picture\u2019 in your hotel Brochure, The Deluxe\u00a0Suit\u00a0<\/em>
      (I point at the picture) was the one I book\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

      These are Are Not The\u00a0\u201daccommodations were in, I had reserved and paid for Four weeks ago\u2019 Right\u2019.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      The accommodations I\u2019m in right now are a \u201cShit-\u00a0hole\u00a0they look\u2019 nothing at all like, the \u201cPremium Deluxe\u00a0Suite\u201d in Your\u2019 Hotel Brochure\u2019 at all! <\/em><\/p>\n

      Now to avoid any further Misunderstanding\u201d.. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I would like the accommodations that\u00a0I booked and paid for, right now\u2019… <\/em><\/p>\n

      If not, I\u2019 will check out right now, call American Express, have this expanse removed from our charges! <\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m I clear.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      Because I will Not debate this with you, I want what I paid for, NOW.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      He looks like he got caught holding his dick in a knife fight, goes over to the other end of the front desk, goes through a bunch of keys holes, grabs one set of keys, comes back hands me, the new Keys:<\/em><\/p>\n

      They are to the floor just below where you are now … <\/em><\/p>\n

      I apologize for any inconveniences Sir.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 don\u2019t comment, I say Thank you, head upstairs.. I\u2019m thinking \u00a0..This is not good I\u2019m here 45 minutes so far it sucks!!…<\/em><\/p>\n

      I hurry back to\u00a0 Siobhan… <\/em><\/p>\n

      I fill her in; we grab our few bags, go to the other room… <\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s Not the room in the Picture either… but it looks cleaner …<\/em>
      We lie low in the room\u00a0–\u00a0unpack, when we\u2019re ready to go.<\/em><\/p>\n

      “I\u2019 can not leave the room without getting, “some.”<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s another hour before we get downstairs\u00a0.. We\u2019re down by the pool for a few drinks, plan the rest of our stay…<\/em><\/p>\n

      I’ had brought with us a \u201cFedoras\u201d Caribbean travel guide, I look for a new place that had a more of a romantic feel and setting, because this was not it\u2019 \u00a0…<\/em><\/p>\n

      I find a place near Ocho Rios, it\u2019s a small French Villa with only 6 rooms and only two are Ocean Front accommodations… <\/em><\/p>\n

      I go into the lobby, to use the guest phone since it\u2019s a local call, it\u2019s not a problem..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I get them on the phone. Immediately\u2019 I like the person on the other end. We talk about what\u2019s available,<\/em>
      I ask about the Ocean front rooms is one available.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cThe bigger one, will be in Two nights\u2019 from now, that\u2019 includes \u00a0tonight\u201d\u00a0.. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Great let’s book it for Five nights\u2019 … 15 minutes later I\u2019m back at the poolside. I don\u2019t tell Siobhan; I want it to be a surprise … <\/em><\/p>\n

      After an hour at pool-side, we go for a walk to explore the area and see where to go for dinner, check out the beach, it\u2019s across the street.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Siobhan runs up to get her bag, walking sandals and whatever else a woman needs to go for a walk .? \u00a0I wait out front for her.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Twenty\u00a0minutes later she\u2019s finally out front. <\/em><\/p>\n

      We walk down the block with the beach on our right, the entrance to it is a good half a block away.. <\/em><\/p>\n

      As we walk, we can see, up the block a large group of locals that are\u00a0set up around what looks like portable tables hawking their wares… <\/em><\/p>\n

      As we get closer, Siobhan says:<\/em><\/p>\n

      “let’s\u00a0cross the street.”<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0There\u2019s no sidewalk on the other side and the traffic looks like everyone is on a race track best we cross at the crosswalk.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      She\u00a0 starts to pull me Across saying\u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n

      “No, I want to cross the street\u00a0here.!”<\/em><\/p>\n

      I stare at her and say what\u2019s wrong with you.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      “I don\u2019t want to walk in front of those people\u2019 “<\/em><\/p>\n

      I tell her don\u2019t be silly they will not bother us<\/em><\/p>\n

      Suddenly about a dozen or more of the people on the corner come rushing right at us at!<\/em><\/p>\n

      To which suddenly Siobhan turns around and hulls-ass back down the block to the hotel.! <\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0I remain there and watch her race up to the hotel, dodge\u2019s into the hotel, by this point the group of people are all around me all screaming.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Hy Mon\u2019 look at this, look at this\u2019 they\u2019re all trying to sell me something. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 almost have to fight them off as I try to get back to the hotel.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I spoke in Spanish, saying\u00a0 \u201cNo Entiendo\u2019 No Entiendo Soy Cubano\u201d \u00a0No English!! I say this over about half a dozen times:<\/em><\/p>\n

      finally as I walk back they relent, they walk back to their corner.. \u00a0I\u2019m mystified by the incident with\u00a0 Siobhan running back.? \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      In the lobby is Siobhan look’s\u00a0 terrify! <\/em><\/p>\n

      What happen to you? <\/em><\/p>\n

      Why did you run back in here.?? <\/em><\/p>\n

      “I was afraid”<\/em><\/p>\n

      Of what.? \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      “When I saw all those black people run towards us I thought they would attack us! I\u2019ve never been around black people before and the only time I\u2019ve \u00a0seen them in a group was on T.V. they were attacking people\u2019!! <\/em><\/p>\n

      I sit her down …<\/em><\/p>\n

      I tell her that is a racist thing to think’. Black people do not differ from us why would you think that.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      “It\u2019s the way my family talk about them\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

      I was\u00a0appalled\u201d.. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I don\u2019t know, what misconceptions as a child and stories\u00a0and\u00a0ideas have been soaked into you mind, but they have No’ place in the world. You need to think in a more clear mindset, you can not judge a person by their color:<\/em><\/p>\n

      If we\u201d are to continue in our relationship <\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cYou\u201d can not think that\u00a0way at all ever! As a person and a minority it\u2019s offending.. Look at where you are.? you\u2019re in a country that\u2019s predominantly 99.% \u00a0\u201cBlack!..<\/em><\/p>\n

      She breaks down and cries, saying, I\u2019m so sorry for being so na\u00efve about so much. …<\/em><\/p>\n

      I reassure her and explain\u00a0it\u2019s not your fault it\u2019s what they taught you… <\/em><\/p>\n

      Just lose it once and for all\u2019 … <\/em><\/p>\n

      I decide we should stay on the hotel grounds, have dinner here and venture out the next day … <\/em><\/p>\n

      Day Two:<\/em><\/p>\n

      We get out front of the resort, casually walk up the road to the beach entrance, most of the throng of peddlers ignore us from yesterday, Siobhan seem like she lost the sensitivity of the day before, \u2018that\u2019s a good thing. <\/em><\/p>\n

      When we get to the entrance, there\u2019s some kind of makeshift\u00a0booth at the steps, down to the sand\u00a0.. where we\u2019re charge $2.00 each to be let onto the beach. I dispute the charge, sorry:\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

      Only\u00a0citizens\u00a0may enter on the beach for free..\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      The beach has a lot to be desire, it\u2019s maybe 300 ft wide 100 ft deep \u00a0no vegetation of any kind\u2019 but the water is beautiful. The sand looks dirty white\u2019, a refreshment \/ Bar\/ hut with a straw roof \u00a0seem like the only saving grace,\u00a0<\/em>if\u00a0nothing else.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We get a spot about halfway to the water lay out a blanket that the hotel provided. I go rent an umbrella for Siobhan, who is a covert from head to toe in \u201csee through white linen; her hat, a wide brim white Panamanian Hat \/ black band, Chanel sunglass in a one piece white bathing suit\u201d … <\/em><\/p>\n

      I have similar hat a T-shirt that has huge \u201cNYC\u201d written across it, swim trunks. Now to do some tanning\u2019 …<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re not laying there over 20 minutes, when I hear a voice say<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Hy Monn\u2019 how you doing\u2019, <\/em><\/p>\n

      I open my eyes to see this dude sitting up against the blanket, near Siobhan. She opens her eyes, sees this man next to her,she scurries across the blanket over towards me… <\/em><\/p>\n

      I sit up and say: <\/em><\/p>\n

      ‘Who the fuck are you!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m your monn\u2019 in Jamaica! mon! first words out of my month are:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Get\u2019 the FUCK\u201d away from my blanket, you a piece of shit!! \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      No, I was not friendly!!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cThis is a public beach and\u00a0 I\u2019m not on your blanket,\u00a0<\/em>so I can sit here.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0I let out a tirade of fuck\u2019s, and almost every curse word I had not used since the ghetto which upset Siobhan .<\/em><\/p>\n

      This guy could not be faded\u00a0by my rantings! He even asks me to buy him a beer at the refreshment hut!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Finally, I stand up and say to him: I’ will go find a cop or someone to remove you from my sight!\u00a0..<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0With that he\u2019 gets up and say’s<\/em><\/p>\n

      ” You don\u2019t have to be so cruel monn\u2019\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      In his heavy Jamaican accent\u2019 turns, walks off. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      We watch him as he \u00a0walks off the beach quickly…\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      We talk about this disturbing incident.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0 Siobhan say:<\/em><\/p>\n

      “I don\u2019t like it here so far,the people have been nothing\u00a0but rude, crass, obnoxious, distasteful, dishonest … I don\u2019t think I want to stay here in Jamaica till next week.”\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I agree with her, but saying:<\/em><\/p>\n

      lets just give it a few more days\u00a0.? <\/em>
      Knowing the suite at the French Villa is not available till tomorrow after 3:pm.<\/em><\/p>\n

      She unhappily agrees to my request …<\/em><\/p>\n

      The rest of the day on the beach goes well, except for the constant barrage of peddlers that come over to us to sell us trinkets, that we don\u2019t need or what and Ganga buy the pounds from old\u201d women to small children…<\/em><\/p>\n

      We head back to the hotel to shower and get ready for the evening.<\/em><\/p>\n

      As Siobhan unpacks her beach bag, she goes through it frantically.<\/em><\/p>\n

      What\u2019s the matter.? what are you looking for.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cMy Cartier watch!!\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I say to her:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I saw you put it in your bag at the beach?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cYeah, I\u2019 threw it right on top of the wraparound.? but it\u2019s not in here.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I realize at that moment that while me and her were laying down on the blanket that our friend when walking by our blanket saw the bag sitting at the edge and sat beside it before engaging Us .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Being\u00a0 unaware of his present, he sees it, \u2018scope it out, pock’s it\u2019 sat down beside us, maybe in a panic? Thinking we might have seen him.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s the only way that, that\u2019 Watch could have disappeared and the only explanation ..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Siobhan is very upset after we both realize what happen to her watch..<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI hate it here\u201d she Yells!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cThat watch was a graduation gift from my Parents,\u2019 I’ll have to replace it asap,when we get home\u201d…\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      There\u2019s not much I can say to keep her from being upset..<\/em>
      I tell her we will leave tomorrow, late afternoon, we\u2019 can\u2019t leave till then.\u00a0.\u00a0. <\/em>
      We\u2019 made the best of the evening by staying in bed all night!<\/em><\/p>\n

      The next day I say to Siobhan: Let’s go back to the beach.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      We might see this dude there again, he\u2019s obviously a local and would probably \u2018return to the beach.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      She\u2019s not happy about going back to the beach who could blame her.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I insist we\u2019ll not\u2019 see him there, she eyes me with doubt but agrees. \u00a0… <\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re there about Two hours, when,\u00a0lo and behold; I see that fucker coming my way from the entrance<\/em><\/p>\n

      (I had set-up our blanket with a view of the steps to watch if he\u2019d came back onto the beach\u00a0) … <\/em><\/p>\n

      As he unknowingly walks towards me, I stand up and wave a friendly \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cHi; to him.<\/em><\/p>\n

      He\u2019 peers at me with the Sun in his Eyes, recognizes me, he bolts back to the entrance onto the street, hulls ass into the street crowds … <\/em><\/p>\n

      I had him now, Yup he was the thief\u2019 why else would he run.? … \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I knew he\u2019d be back., I\u2019ll be waiting for him; I don\u2019t have to wait long because a half hour later I see him jump from the street level onto the sand.. I watch him .. He goes into the refreshment Bar-hut.. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I don’t tell Siobhan I sew him on the beach as to not upset her … I go in my bag to get my wallet,<\/em> telling Siobhan :\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m getting a red stripe, would she\u2019 like one?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cSure that would be nice..\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ll be right back.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Making sure she doesn\u2019t see me take my \u201cswitchblade sliding it into my right trucks pocket, blade down, somethings you didn\u2019t forget …\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yes, I always had to travel with a weapon in those days. Hey some habits are what they were, lets not forget that violence\u2019 was everywhere I went..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I show no excitement or emotion, I can\u2019t upset her, she already been upset enough since we were here…<\/em><\/p>\n

      I casually walk towards the Hut assessing the surrounding area, it\u2019s roots of escape. He\u2019s inside, there\u2019s only one way in\u2019 and one way out, I\u2019m in front of it!.. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I take my time walking up; I set my mind-set to street level.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 walk in, it’s a small Space, I stand at the door, asses the crowd.? It\u2019s pack, they\u2019re a dozen tourist or more standing at this bar, bronze \u00a0Bikini-clad beautiful girls, <\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWhite Boys\u201d all trying \u00a0to be \u201cBlack and cool at the same time. \u201cduh\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0About another dozen \u2018Rastafarian types\u00a0also leaning into it. Bob Marley is in the airwaves \u201cBuffalo soldier\u201d is blaring from somewhere\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I see him:<\/em><\/p>\n

      He\u2019s standing only 10 ft from the entrance to my left, with his back towards me.. Perfect. … \u00a0I remember someone \u00a0say\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0Always be a surprise, never let them see you sweat or coming, it\u2019s always work for me in life in all situations\u00a0..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I stroll over to where he\u2019s standing; He\u2019s talking to some white kid. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I stand behind him.<\/em><\/p>\n

      This kid looks like he\u2019s 3 sheets to the wind, trying to focus on me, when my buddy realizes there\u2019s someone standing behind him.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      He turns to face me: at first he\u2019s totally surprised.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The white Boy, tales off the other side of the Bar..\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I guess he must have had felt safe at the bar because; he greets me like where old friends.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      As he\u2019s talking \u2018my hand comes out of me pocket with my finger on the switchblade,\u00a0I bring it\u00a0up to his neck, in an instant\u2019 the blade comes sliding out to its hilt, slams with the sound of solid steel into its lock position.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 step into him to make sure, I\u2019 pin him against the wall with the poster behind him that reads:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWelcome to Jamaica.\u2019\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I have one hand on his chest pushing him against the wall so he\u2019s has no wiggle room at all. The tip of the knife’s blade is underneath his chin and in it.<\/em><\/p>\n

      It, draws blood immediately.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      I calmly say:\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cWhere\u2019s The \u201cWatch\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

      (\u00a0Speaking softly is always more threatening)… <\/em><\/p>\n

      I let that hang for a moment while he searches for the right answer\u00a0..\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Out of my Peripheral vision; I see that\u2019 the crowd that was standing around us has disbursed over towards the Bar\u2019 into a wider area so I have at least Five’ or more feet, around me, almost like I\u2019m in a semicircle\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      I don\u2019t like the bullshit he\u2019s ruining me\u2019, <\/em><\/p>\n

      he says:\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about\u2019? He says this a few more time…\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I push the blade\u00a0into his chin more..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Where\u2019s the watch.?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      “<\/em>I sold it Monn, I sold it!! I\u2019m sorry, I\u2019 can take you to the man I\u2019 sold it too, you can buy it back! “<\/em><\/p>\n

      I lose it.. a tirade of profanity comes out of my mouth\u2019…\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I say to him \u201cLet me see what\u2019s in your pockets.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Mind you, \u2018no one is doing anything or helping him or asking me to put the knife down like they\u2019re watching TV.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I loosen the blade on his chin, but keep it on the skin surface it continues to drip blood onto the blade…\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      He tilts his head back to relieve the pressure from the blade, Blood drips down his neck onto his white shirt\u00a0..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I don\u2019t care… He\u2019s Crying … I still don\u2019t care\u201d\u00a0.. <\/em><\/p>\n

      As he empties his pockets he comes up out of the left one with a $10.00 bill and a cheap pair of earrings.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I pocket them..<\/em><\/p>\n

      W<\/em>hat\u2019s in the other pocket.? \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Out of that comes a watch… <\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s a cheap Time-X,\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I pocket it.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Whispering in his ear:\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I will be here for another week, this is the part I want you to listen too closely.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      If, I See you on this Beach! at anytime while I\u2019m here (Softly\u00a0 whispering )<\/em><\/p>\n

      I will cut you open\u201d do you understand.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      See the white sand out there (I pointed \u00a0with the knife towards the exit\u2019) \u00a0he shifts his eyes over to the outside…\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      It! Will\u2019 be Blood Red Sand!! Do\u2019 you understand..?<\/em><\/p>\n

      A nods a\u00a0 yes.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I<\/em> squeeze the button on the handle, it slides downward into itself, as the sound of the steel blade slides back into its metal sash … \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      He’ grabs<\/i>\u00a0his neck & chin- ‘he runs out.. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I turn towards the crowd:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Everyone applauds!! <\/em><\/p>\n

      One Rasta comes over puts his arm around me and says, “That was great monn\u2019 that guy has done this now for 6 months or more, robbing everyone and giving us, monn\u2019 a bad reputation.”<\/em><\/p>\n

      I get the two Red stripes with the $10: Dollars<\/em><\/p>\n

      With a beer in each hand I take a small bow and walk out into the sunshine’<\/em><\/p>\n

      Causally: head back to our blanket, as if nothing had just transpired at the Bar<\/em>\u2019..<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      \n

      Chapter: 38:\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      But I\u2019ve Been To Amarillo: There’s No Madison Avenue:<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      ” She was smart and clever and she knew she could do more with her life”\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      Lily Zante:\u00a0Misplaced Love:\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      As I wandered back, I put thought\u2019 into what I had just done. <\/em><\/p>\n

      For a moment I\u2019m pumped and delighted. . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      ” I\u2019ve taught him a lesson.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

      But reality sets in, it was utterly stupid, really stupid, substantially, senseless!!\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

      What, had I’ just done.?\u00a0 I showed little consideration to what\u201d would had happen ‘If, I had severely injured that kid, or worse killed him? Over a wristwatch.?\u00a0..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I would have \u201clost everything I had to work so hard to achieve.! I would have been screwed for sure. I\u2019d be dealing with serious Jail\u201d time.! For blatant\u2019 murder, or assault with a deadly weapon.? Against a helpless teenager …<\/em><\/p>\n

      I recognize that it’s best to leave Montego Bay, even if we\u2019re early to Negril. Leave now\u2019 before he comes back with the police, He\u2019 has Two dozen witnesses, that can say; that\u00a0I rob him at knife point!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Walking on the hot sand back over to Siobhan.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I have a surprise for you\u2019 back at the room.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      “What is it.?” <\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s a surprise!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cOoh, What are you going to do to me.?”<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0Let\u2019s leave: <\/em><\/p>\n

      We gather our stuff leave the beachfront..<\/em><\/p>\n

      In the room, I tell her:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Pack the bags\u2019 we\u2019re out of here\u201d…<\/em><\/p>\n

      She wails.<\/em><\/p>\n

      “Thank\u00a0You; w<\/em>here are we going.?”<\/em><\/p>\n

      That\u2019s a surprise too\u2019… \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      As she packs, I call the front desk I explain to the\u00a0voice: <\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re checking out in a half hour, please have my bill ready, can you have a taxi standing by.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      The Voice:<\/em><\/p>\n

      “Where should I say you\u2019re headed to.? “<\/em><\/p>\n

      Ocho Rios\u2019… (\u201cNever leave a trace\u2019) <\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re downstairs,\u00a0the taxi is out front. <\/em><\/p>\n

      At the front desk, I send Siobhan out to have the cabbie come in for the suitcases as I deal with the check .. There are bullshit charges on it, I\u2019 dispute them all\u2026I don\u2019t have to pay them …\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      There\u2019s no refund for the last 5 nights. I\u2019ll challenge them with Am-X\u00a0when we\u2019re back N.Y.\u00a0 for\u00a0\u201cNot providing the accommodations we reserved\u00a0and paid for! <\/em><\/p>\n

      We had, pictures of both rooms to eventually bolster our evidence.<\/em><\/p>\n

      ( I, she, gets those last 5 nights refunded back to Me,’ Six-weeks later)\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I run out to the curb; Siobhan is in the taxi that\u2019s Idling out front. The cab also looks\u2019 just like a piece of junk, better than ( Eddie\u2019s from the Point lookout party without the tape.) \u00a0I\u2019 jump in the back, where off.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I exhale a sigh of relief\u00a0as we ride off.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The driver is a Rasta with huge trailing dreadlocks, in his 50’s or older.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      I love it,.<\/em><\/p>\n

      He possesses a soothing voice, with an elegant like calming effect as he specks.. “Where in Ocho Rios\u2019 are we going.?”<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re not going anywhere in Ocho\u2019 Rios … Instead we\u2019re going to \u201cNegril\u201d I hand him a piece of paper with the address\u2019 and the name of the \u2018French Villa\u2019 at the same time I\u2019 ask him. how much to Negril.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      “$60.00 U.S”.\u00a0.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

      How long to get there.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      “It\u2019s an hour and a half drive, give or take?.”<\/em><\/p>\n

      I say, deal.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018He\u2019 brings the note with\u00a0the name of the Villa up to his face, reading it.<\/em><\/p>\n

      “Loudly Exclaiming!<\/em><\/p>\n

      “\u2018Oh this a great place monn! you’re going to love it monn!, it\u2019s such a cool place, romantic for the lady. You going to score good Witt\u2019 her\u2019 tonight monn!”\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      We both burst out laughing hysterically as he accompanies Us; in or laughter! …\u00a0 Yea; the winds are changing\u2019 …<\/em><\/p>\n

      We drive along on what seem like a coastal highway for a while, speaking to the driver and planning the next phase of, \u201cour vacation. I tell\u00a0 Siobhan all about the French Villa, she’s\u00a0elated. <\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019 look at the pictures and read the reviews in \u201cFedora\u2019s Caribbean.\u201d Relaxing in silence, appreciating the tropical landscape-as Beautiful beaches flyby us.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      After about Twenty minutes the driver pulls out a huge \u201cSpliff, lights it up; \u00a0and passes it back to us. <\/em><\/p>\n

      We take a few hits each, sit back to mellow the moment. Siobhan with her back into my arms and chest, gazing out the window as the wind rushing onto our faces and through our hair, we feel as if we\u2019re floating down the road:\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      looking at her profile as she lays within my arms; We were happy in love in our place in time,\u00a0on a road racing\u00a0towards a Paradise\u00a0Sunset …<\/em><\/p>\n

      Soon we began\u00a0shifting around in back!\u00a0 Rasta, is doing what feels like 70 miles hour, the speedometer\u00a0doesn’t look like it’s registering anything, ‘Snap\u00a0Us’ right out of it; We’re\u00a0on this One lane\/ half pave, road with lots of\u00a0 bends in it! We\u2019re stone, freaking out and paranoid.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0Dude you got to slow down!,<\/em><\/p>\n

      “No worry monn\u2019,”<\/em><\/p>\n

      Dude you\u2019re scaring us.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201dNo worry Monn…<\/em><\/p>\n

      I run, this Road’ all the time.? “<\/em><\/p>\n

      You run it! when Me & Her” are not in the car with you! because, I\u2019 am concerned we might\u00a0miss our exit! <\/em><\/p>\n

      ‘Get it Brother!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Slow Down! Or I won\u2019t Tip You!<\/em><\/p>\n

      “Your cruel monn\u2019”<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yeah, and alive! <\/em><\/p>\n

      I prefer to remain that way.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cNo problem monn”<\/em><\/p>\n

      He slows down somewhat.. <\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019 let it go… <\/em><\/p>\n

      Twenty<\/i>-five minutes afterward, we arrive. We\u2019re thrill to be out of the car\u2019 and not moving. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I do make arrangements\u00a0 (With “Bob” So he said) to take Us”to the Airport- Five day from now..<\/em><\/p>\n

      The Charal\u00e1 Inn, Is set off the highway by a small incline that shelves down towards the shore. Which is part of a Seven mile beach front..<\/em><\/p>\n

      The beach stretches 250 ft in-length, 150 ft. in-width. Small, Intimate, Secluded, Private…\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sugar-white sand, a tropical abundances of garden flowers, dotted the walkways as they, lead-up to the Villa. While Palm and Coconut Trees lean-over, like umbrella covers over the French Bistro from above; The Bar faces Sugar White Sand and Turquoise water, that reaches\u00a0away to the\u00a0 Western Sunset …<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0In the lobby were greeted by the personnel as if we, were arriving home\u2019… We check in, we’re brought up to our accommodations. We felt like we belong there, the instant we walk in.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The interior wall’s of\u00a0\u00a0Suit accommodations’ are White-washed. A Black Four post King Size Bed with Crisp white sheets, White Netting hangs over the entire bed.<\/em><\/p>\n

      French doors; that open onto a small veranda. Looking out to an Oceanfront Caribbean\u00a0vista, to the horizon. <\/em><\/p>\n

      The decor\u00a0of brilliant-colored flower placements in all the key places; they bloom with the glow of color in the whitewash room. It was surreal\u00a0\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

      The best was that while laying in bed we could watch the \u201cMorning Sunrise & Sunset, as well as the Rising Moon!..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Siobhan can\u2019t contain her excitement about the four post bed’ … <\/em><\/p>\n

      She bounces up and down on bed while, screaming<\/em><\/p>\n

      ” You better be\u2019 ready!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Over and over!!\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cYeah, a perfect place to fall in love\u201d…<\/em><\/p>\n

      (Post note: \u00a0I\u2019 read the Villa is still there in \u201cNegril.\u201d \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      However from what I\u2019ve read it\u2019s No longer a Six-room Villa. Now, it\u2019s more like a Small-Resort Hotel.<\/em><\/p>\n

      ‘Go, suite #106!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s still a beautiful destination in Jamaica, As it was in the 70s when I was there … Progress.?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Gently falling asleep at night with the perfume scent of the blooming night-jasmine:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018She whispers.<\/em><\/p>\n

      “Thank you, for bringing love to Us’. <\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0I guess when you find love; You live in its moment.\u00a0.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      ‘We, Drift off..\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      The next day we spend it on the beach, enjoying each other’s company. The Tropical\u00a0setting, gave us\u2019 the feeling of being on a beach in the South Pacific somewhere-with a Paradise-sunset at last.”<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2019 I tell her more\u2019 about my past and how I’ve turn\u00a0a lot\u00a0of it off.\u00a0<\/em>She tells me about herself, childhood, family, college years.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We Eat, Drink, all day, she makes me take a few trips up to the room after we buy a $10.00 handful of ganja. Smoking on the beach with no one asking questions\u00a0.. More eating, drinking, smoking, sex\u201d …<\/em><\/p>\n

      I believe we needed that after the previous few days.. The next day is a cloudy, rainy, partly sunny day that we spent it in the room: for the next 24 hours, this woman is insane! <\/em><\/p>\n

      We don\u2019t\u00a0<\/em>leave at all:<\/em><\/p>\n

      R<\/em>oom service is a good thing’..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Though I had wished I could run out for a few hours… Ultimately the sunlight breaks early the succeeding morning..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I bring Siobhan down to the beach, set her up telling Siobhan that I needed to run into town to send a telegram to a client. I go to the front desk asking them to locate a prominent jewelry, store after 20 minutes; they locate one thats legit. I\u00a0 have them call me a cab, Ten minutes later I head into downtown Negrill. <\/em><\/p>\n

      Arriving at the \u00a0Jewelry store I tell the Cabbie to wait:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Inside after some back and forth haggling with the manage. I buy her a \u2018New Cartier” Watch to replace the stolen one.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Hey it was the right thing to do\u2019… \u00a0I get a \u00a0discount, plus no taxes!! Who knew.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      That evening down at the front desk going to dinner in Ocho Rios. I ask the clerk to call Us; a cab to take Us’ there. The clerk gets the cab company on the phone, I\u2019 ask him\u2019 to ask what is the fare.<\/em>?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      As he talks to the dispatcher, while we’re\u00a0standing there; I hearing\u00a0the conversation over the phone on my end. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      He\u2019 tells me the cab will be here in 10: minutes. <\/em><\/p>\n

      “It will be $30.00 Jamaican dollars or $5.00 U.S. to Ocho Rios.”<\/em><\/p>\n

      I rise my open hand up and show it to him, and say “$5.00 dollars\u00a0American.? \u00a0He nods yes\u2019.. Sweet\u201d…<\/em><\/p>\n

      I thank him; we walk outside wait,.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The cab shows up right on the dime\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      We get in; I ask him do you know where we\u2019re going.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      “Yes I do”<\/em><\/p>\n

      Great, let\u2019s go. We get the 20 questions from the cabbie; We tell him we love it, in Negril;<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0I tell him the story of us being rob in Montego Bay, a few other times we have been approach, to buy stuff that was worthless, how people \u00a0were constantly trying to \u00a0rip us\u2019 off, \u00a0almost all the time so far, by everyone we met; and how disappointed we\u2019 were…<\/em><\/p>\n

      You would\u2019 think after telling him our story, that; the cab driver would NOT! try to rip Us of.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      No such luck\u00a0..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I ask him what do I owe you, he says:<\/em><\/p>\n

      “Are you going to need a ride back Negril .?”<\/em><\/p>\n

      Yes we will.<\/em><\/p>\n

      “If you like, I\u2019ll pick you two up; when you ready to go back to Negril.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0It\u2019 will be\u00a0 $30.00 U.S. dollars now\u2019 and $30.00 back. But I\u2019ll only\u201d charge you $50.00 U.S. if I do the round trip with me.”<\/em><\/p>\n

      In astonishment..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I say how much is it.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      He\u2019 say it again. <\/em><\/p>\n

      “Fifty round trip”\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I say how? Much with doubt in my voice.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      He repeats himself one more time:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0 Siobhan is looking at him with as much surprise as, I have.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Without missing a beat, he say:<\/em><\/p>\n

      “Just call me from the restaurant, directly at my number.”<\/em><\/p>\n

      Handing me a business card that say \u201cCab\u201d with a the number underneath.<\/em><\/p>\n

      When you\u2019re ready, call me!\u00a0 Don’t call the cab company to\u00a0return to Negril; and you can pay me at the Hotel;\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Ya’ monn, cool?”<\/em><\/p>\n

      I say cool’, back to him, because I will fuck him when we get back in front of our Hotel lobby… \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      We step out of the cab, we\u2019re, both speechless\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      He drove off. <\/em><\/p>\n

      Siobhan:\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      “Why did you not confront him about the price.? “<\/em><\/p>\n

      Because it will be better in front of the Hotel that in front of the restaurant; I\u2019ll be able to call out the Hotel Clerk to confirm that the cab company said it would be a $5.00 charge.. She smiles, a broad smile\u2019 \u00a0… <\/em><\/p>\n

      She takes my arm: “Shall we; We head inside..<\/em><\/p>\n

      The place being somewhat hushed-the music-low-key;\u00a0<\/em>when we\u2019 arrived.<\/em><\/p>\n

      There weren’t many people throughout the restaurant, maybe Two dozen.? It’s\u00a0a Monday, maybe that was the reason,which was great. <\/em><\/p>\n

      We get a table by the railing overlooking the Caribbean Sunset, and yachts. After the server takes, and brings our Wine order. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I give her the Watch:<\/em><\/p>\n

      She\u2019s overwhelmed with gratitude with my jester.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We’re able to enjoy each other’s company; in a slower pace, eat a quiet meal, drink two bottles of wine in quiet conversation; do some slow dancing which we had never done before. <\/em><\/p>\n

      Around mid-night we decided we\u2019d had enough; she wanted some\u2019 ( it never got tiring) … When we get the check, I\u2019 ask the server to have someone call the number on the card for cab service, he tells me, absolutely No Problem monn\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Siobhan paid\u2019s, as a jester for replacing the Cartier Watch:<\/em><\/p>\n

      She signs off on her AM-EX. I have no problem with that either. ( I\u2019ve always have appreciated & respect this type gesture from a woman.) … <\/em><\/p>\n

      We go out into the cool evening, a light breeze flutters our skin, with a sweet smell off the ocean in the wind\u00a0 …<\/em><\/p>\n

      Waiting out front for the cab, I tell Siobhan what to do when we get to the hotel after the cab ride.<\/em><\/p>\n

      She is to go into the lobby, send out the clerk to the curb; while I talk to the cab driver about the over changing fee..<\/em><\/p>\n

      A brief moment later the cab pulls up..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 chat with the driver, Siobhan pretends to snooze while, I\u2019 in minor detail describe our evening. As we pull up to the entrance-driveway; the cab comes to a halt at the top of the slope, just before the Path-entrance.<\/em><\/p>\n

      He says:<\/em><\/p>\n

      “Ok monn’ We\u2019re here”<\/em><\/p>\n

      I say to him: <\/em><\/p>\n

      Drive Us’ down to the front of the Lobby.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

      He tries to make an excuse about not be able to turnaround:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I lean in towards the driver’s\u00a0seat, with a stern Voice..<\/em><\/p>\n

      :The front of the lobby, is where we get out.\u2019 My fiance`is wearing heel, and <\/em>he walkway down the driveway to the Lobby is poorly lit.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      You were able to turn around when you pick us up, you can turn around once you drop us off.. <\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cFine monn, fine”<\/em><\/p>\n

      He pulls up in front:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Siobhan pop\u2019s the door; heels in hand is out and dashing up- the stair and into the lobby.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 get out on passenger side that faces the lobby as to walk around to the driver side and stall for time\u00a0for the Clerk to come out front. I get to the driver side window, go in my pocket, pull out cash..<\/em><\/p>\n

      He\u2019s saying that\u2019s $50.00 in U.S. monn\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I look dead at him and say Ah; \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      No, it\u2019s Not; <\/em><\/p>\n

      I<\/em>t\u2019s $10.00 Dollars’\u00a0American; Not’ $50. American!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I peel a $10: spot, throw it into the window, onto his lap; he seems totally surprise.<\/em><\/p>\n

      “NO MONN! IT\u2019s $50.00 US Dollars” .!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0I\u2019m: yeah, it\u2019s not! \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re Yelling’.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0I\u2019 call the cab company before you\u201d pick us up, they told me it was $30. Jamaican or $5.00 American! to Ocho Rios.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cNo monn, that\u2019s bullshit!”<\/em><\/p>\n

      At that moment as the manager is coming down the stairway with Siobhan.<\/em><\/p>\n

      At<\/em> down the bottom of the landing staircase, he says to me:<\/em><\/p>\n

      “What\u2019s going on here.?<\/em>\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      I Quickly start to<\/i> tell him, he wanted $50.00 dollars American for the round trip ride to the Restaurant .<\/em><\/p>\n

      “I know the Lady said something about that,what has happen”<\/em><\/p>\n

      He\u2019s trying to rob and cheat your guest, I say too him. .\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Walking around to the driver side of the cab, leans into the window, yells at the guy.<\/em><\/p>\n

      “This is not the way the hotel those business!.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I will report you to the cab company and take away it\u2019 preferred cab service agreement from them; You would\u00a0 lose your\u00a0job! <\/em><\/p>\n

      \u2018Now get the fuck off the hotel property before I\u2019 call your Boss-man or the police on you!”<\/em><\/p>\n

      The guy sped off without a problem turning around.<\/em><\/p>\n

      What a good driver\u2019… Never had time to tip him either.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      Yup\u2019 We had a great night…<\/em><\/p>\n

      We have two more nights not including tonight, before we head back home.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The next morning, since we’ve stay close to the hotel since being here,for me it was time to explore our New World.. <\/em><\/p>\n

      It was time to go indoors, because it was a bit too hot, Siobhan says she needs her needs met …We go back upstairs do our thing for two hours. I wonder is this how it will always be with her.? Is it a blessing.? Or will it be a curse .?\\<\/em><\/p>\n

      Afterwards, she wants to take an<\/em> afternoon nap..<\/em><\/p>\n

      It’s my chance to get away by myself for a while. I head to the French Bistro.The light breeze is soothing, while the late afternoon sun warms against my skin . . .\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cIt’s Me Time\u201d.. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m on my third \u201cRum-runner, Some Rasta looking dude sits a few stools away. Ten minutes later he\u2019s trying to engage me … I\u2019m aloof, that’s with everyone. \u201c\u00a0I\u2019 Don\u2019t Trust Anyone.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I finally turn to him and say”\u00a0 “Dude what is it.? \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      He apologizes which is fucking annoying, Dude\u2019 you deliberately try to engage me so why are you apologizing\u00a0.? \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      He moves over to the stool next to me… <\/em><\/p>\n

      “I\u2019 saw you and the lady the other day; you had a T-shirt on that had NYC across it, I thought it might interest you in a trip to a ganja farm.?”<\/em><\/p>\n

      He lets it hang there..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I look at him, I\u2019 say nothing back, pick up my drink and swig it … after a few more moments he says,<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cInterested.?\u201d …<\/em><\/p>\n

      Why? I asked;<\/em><\/p>\n

      He seems to not\u00a0understand my response …<\/em><\/p>\n

      “Hey\u2019 Monn’ this a very\u00a0cool trip, I got Two other couples going tomorrow. It’s like 3 hours excursion. You\u2019 get to be on a ganja farm, walk through the stalks. Monn\u2019 some are 10 feet tall. Monn\u2019 you smoke all you want; you can come home with a pound or more.?” …<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m leaving in Two days what I\u2019m I going to do with a pound or more.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      “You can just smoke all you want with the Four other people. \u2018Yeah monn\u2019 it cool thing to do monn”… <\/em><\/p>\n

      Who are these people.?\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      “It\u2019s two couples that are staying here.”.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I just\u00a0look at him, trying to see if he\u2019s full of shit… <\/em><\/p>\n

      Tell me the details … <\/em><\/p>\n

      “We start out like at about 10:am, we drive for an hour. When we get there you get to see where we pack it. store it, you get to try different selections of ganja we\u2019ve grown, then if you like you can buy some to take with you.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      How much is it.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      “It depends monn’, what you get.? We have ganja for $20.00 to $100.00 it\u2019s up to you.?… <\/em><\/p>\n

      By the pound.? \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0Start’s at $20.00 by the OZ.. \u00a0for some good ganja, and we have special ganja that cost more.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I don\u2019t know … I\u2019ll think about it… \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      “One more thing man the trip there cost $20.00 each”<\/em><\/p>\n

      So it\u2019s $40.00.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      “Yeah monn’, but if you buy one Oz when you\u2019re there we take it of the price of the trip, for what you\u2019re buying,so the trip will cost you\u2019\u00a0 only, $20.00. You come home with; 1-free OZ. of some good shit, plus smoke all fucking afternoon”! …<\/em><\/p>\n

      Can I sign you up now for tomorrow.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      I finish my 3rd Rum-runner …<\/em><\/p>\n

      You going to be around later.? I’ll let you know, I’d have to talk to my Lady first\u00a0to see if she would like to go.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      “OK monn’ I have to go, but tomorrow morning we’re meeting in the parking lot on the other side, just be there by 9:30:am, this way you can meet the other people.”<\/em><\/p>\n

      All right \u2018later…<\/em><\/p>\n

      He\u2019 leaves …<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m excited \u00a0to get back upstairs: I\u2019m sure Siobhan, is up waiting? … <\/em><\/p>\n

      Late that evening at dinner, I tell Siobhan about my encounter with,the Rasta\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Its seems exciting.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 tell her\u201d it\u2019s something\u2019 very\u00a0cool to do\u2019.. <\/em><\/p>\n

      She is not excited at all. She feels that it could be somewhat\u00a0dangerous for us to do.<\/em><\/p>\n

      “We\u2019d be away from any road, in the jungle somewhere anything could go wrong.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      There could be a raid.? By the Police, or government drug agents.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019re in a foreign country to some extent.? And with ‘President Reagan’s\u00a0war on drugs raging back home, it might not be a good Idea to invite danger.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      No; I will not go, and will not let; You leave me alone for hours worrying, till you<\/em>\u00a0return. Besides we have a bag of Ganja in the room. <\/em><\/p>\n

      Why do we need more.? I don\u2019t want more”..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Me: It would be cool to visit a reefer plantation?<\/em><\/p>\n

      She goes on:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cBesides we have one more day and night,<\/em><\/p>\n

      I want to make the most of our time alone while we\u2019re here … <\/em><\/p>\n

      She was right, cooler heads prevail.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The next morning I go down to meet the other two couples, chat, tell Rasta no thanks, but thank you for the invite. <\/em><\/p>\n

      He’s insistent.! <\/em><\/p>\n

      Dude No! We’re Not’ going with you.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 walk, \u00a0I wave to the couples, have fun!<\/em><\/p>\n

      My Nympho is waiting for me\u201d Now she\u2019s an adventure in her own right, I head to my room.. <\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cSiobhan..Yummy\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Late that afternoon we\u2019re laying on the beach,\u00a0 I\u2019m soaking up the ray’s. Siobhan\u00a0 is covered head to toe as usual, and under the umbrella\u2019… \u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I happen to look towards the hotel, to see two police cars in front of the building.. I get a bad feeling about them being there.? … <\/em><\/p>\n

      A short time later after they leave..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I say to Siobhan:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I’m going up to the bar, I\u2019ll be right back… <\/em><\/p>\n

      I get up to the bar, grab a stool order a rum-runner. I casually ask the bartender what’s with the police on the property.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      He tells me;<\/em><\/p>\n

      “They\u2019ve arrested Two couples for drug trafficking\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

      Realizing immediately, it’s the two copales I had\u00a0 met by the Jeep. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      Are you fucking kidding me! Those\u00a0 4′ people were far from drug traffickers.! <\/em><\/p>\n

      “Yah monn\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s What the <\/em>police\u2019 do here in Jamaica, with these local ganja dealers; they have to give the police an arrest. <\/em><\/p>\n

      So they invite these young tourist to go to\u00a0<\/em>Ganja fields\u2019 to smoke and buy. <\/em><\/p>\n

      On the way back, the police is waiting for them to come down for the farm: <\/em><\/p>\n

      ‘They arrest them for possession and trafficking..<\/em><\/p>\n

      And get very \u201cBig Bails\u2019 from\u00a0the parents! The police looks good like, they\u2019re fighting the drug trade. They do it every few months.<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s paid, to the police\u2019 for growing their Ganja! like protection monn’; so they\u2019re left alone by the government, it\u2019s been happening for years mon\u2019… \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      You’re lucky you didn\u2019t go with them monn\u2019 today you\u2019d be in a shit hole of a prison until you paid up, which takes a long time, 3 to 6 months before you can post bail, that\u2019s set at the courthouse.<\/em><\/p>\n

      ‘So you spend time in jail to urge you\u2019 to make a deal, because they know you won\u2019t be back for the trial; which you would never win.\u2019 You could get 20 years for an O-Z … If you don\u2019t paid at the hearing, then you might never get out”.\u00a0.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019m totally blown away by this unfortunate news of those Two young couples!<\/em><\/p>\n

      To think that I\u2019 and\u00a0 Siobhan would have been arrested, processed at some station house jail, and what would be waiting for us.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      The brutality of \u00a0movie \u201cMidnight Express\u201d came to mind \u00a0(I had just seen it in N.Y. recently.) \u201cI shuttered with that thought\u201d … I\u2019 won’t tell Siobhan \u00a0till we\u2019re back in New York\u2019 …<\/em><\/p>\n

      We\u2019 loll about the\u2019 rest of the day. That evening we have a romantic dinner at the French Bistro, call it a night early, have an intense sex session\u2019 the best yet! ..<\/em><\/p>\n

      On the last morning We\u2019re up early to meet the Cab driver that brought Us; Bob the Rasta cabbie is dead on time for or ride back to catch our flight.<\/em><\/p>\n

      On the flight, I tell her the \u201cGanja story she\u2019s horrified by it. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      I continue seeing Siobhan offend.,<\/em><\/p>\n

      That fall, she tells me she has received an offer from a facility in Amarillo,Texas. To run a huge Corporate Operation in healthcare service \/ Elderly Care Facility.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      It would mean a permanent move there though.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      I don\u2019t discourage her, she\u2019s going places and deserves it. <\/em><\/p>\n

      She makes the move, in January, with a $100,000. Dollar Salary a year.<\/em><\/p>\n

      : Equivalent Purchase\u00a0Power, Four Million Today:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 would too!.. <\/em><\/p>\n

      She asks me to join her permanently.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I can\u2019t there\u2019s no just chances of continuing my career there. <\/em><\/p>\n

      ‘No Madison Avenue:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0I visited her in Amarillo, Texas; every-other weekend and she does the reverse.<\/em><\/p>\n

      After that following Fall, I have other opportunities that comes my way; which conflict with our every other weekends together.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We slowly, let go of each other, till we’ became just a fond memory, to one another. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 missed Siobhan \u2019 insatiably for a long time\u201d . . .<\/em><\/p>\n

      \n

      Chapter: 39″<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      Continuation\u00a0of Chapter 36:<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      Irreparably Corruption, Can Be Your’s\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      “None Of The Dead Come Back, But Some Stay”<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      St. John The Divine<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cI can move possibly one to, two more Kilos a month, but I need someone for support.? The more I import into the club the more money we’ll make.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      What are the risk.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cIf you get detained, I\u2019ll paid for your lawyer, bail and legal obligations.<\/em>
      I, likewise will pay all your basic bills.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Plus, I\u2019ll start you with an ounce of coke or you can have a half -ounce of Meth and a half Oz. of coke. Every other month, I\u2019ll throw you small percentage of the profits after expansive?<\/em><\/p>\n

      “But you can\u2019t move any at the clubs as long as I\u2019m at the\u00a0club with you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      I tell him I need to give it some consideration\u00a0“…<\/em><\/p>\n

      Back at my place, my mind is entirely blown away by our conversion.<\/em><\/p>\n

      This can shatter my existence.? <\/em><\/p>\n

      I realize the many pluses and the many setbacks that can turn my situation bad.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The next\u00a0day;\u00a0we have lunch at Marigolds and go over some details; specifically what my position will be..<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s pretty much as he claimed, except that I\u2019m to go out with him to the clubs not fewer than four to five nights a week.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I regularly went out Three nights tops..<\/em><\/p>\n

      The rent was regularly a few days late or a week-that would end.\u00a0The influx of cash negates the risk.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I go for it: Since the pluses outweigh the cons.<\/em><\/p>\n

      If I sock money aside, I could open my salon; as long as I don\u2019t get-hook.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Going to the clubs was pricey, on average it was $50.00 to $100.00 at the doors. Drinks where $20.00 minimum. If you\u2019re buying drinks for the girls, well I don\u2019t have to go on.\u2018You get the picture\u2019…<\/em><\/p>\n

      Money, was never sufficient for; leading the lifestyle I was leading. I shop at high-end boutiques, dined at the finest restaurants on the Upper East Side. <\/em><\/p>\n

      All of my debt would disappear.,<\/em><\/p>\n

      I had more cash outflow and disposable capital then I had ever had.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      To fully live-in : \u201cThe City Of \u00a0Sin\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      At about four months in, matters are progressing smoothly in my new undertaking.<\/em><\/p>\n

      ‘Untill:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sal:<\/em>
      \u201cHey next Sunday; I\u00a0have to make a pickup in Brooklyn, can you come with me.?\u00a0 My connection can\u2019t make the trip here. I have to pick up\u00a0the three Kilos; I need you to ride shoot-gun, is that a problem for you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      No, it\u2019s not…<\/em><\/p>\n

      That quiet Sunday afternoon: We cab it to his mother’s house to pick up his car and head to the old Brooklyn Navy yard.<\/em><\/p>\n

      We pull up to the warehouse’s fa\u00e7ade; mark #9. We walk over\u00a0to the steel gated door. Sal bangs on it for a few minutes before they open.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Some huge Italia dude opens the door and greets him. He has a pool stick in his right hand; he stares at me:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sal, affirms: He\u2019s good\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      We walk in and it\u2019s just what I thought it would be; a massive space that\u2019s the length of a football field<\/em><\/p>\n

      Inside a partition divided the\u00a0warehouse\u00a0down the middle with a door in the dividing middle of the wall.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The place appears abandoned, there isn\u2019t a Pool table anywhere.\u00a0We walk towards a door halfway into the warehouse. while Sal; and the big man make small talk.<\/em><\/p>\n

      At the door he stops and say:<\/em>
      \u201cMario is inside waiting for you, he\u2019s happy you\u2019re on time,”…<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sal:<\/em>
      \u201cYeah\u00a0I\u2019m on a tight schedule myself.”<\/em><\/p>\n

      We step into a huge room Inside, we\u2019re greeted by this person call Mario. They hug and kiss each other on their cheeks and inquire about each other\u2019s families.<\/em><\/p>\n

      He introduces me as the new associate:<\/em><\/p>\n

      He had told him, he was bringing..<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cThere\u2019s the pool table in the middle of the office\u2019..<\/em><\/p>\n

      No Balls, No Rack, a big red staind; in the middle:\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      A Bar area with, 5 stools; some sport memorabilia hanging on the walls over a couch. Posters of old playboy centerfolds with\u00a0enormous breasted Women.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Newspapers piles, an espresso machine; a water cooler opposite an assortment of miscellaneous crap all over the place. On the opposite side of the office is what at first I could not make-out; but as I peered closer.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I grasp that what I\u2019m seeing: Bales of Marijuana stack, Two-by-two almost to the ceiling across the wall..<\/em><\/p>\n

      More Marijuana than I\u2019 have ever seen anywhere;\u00a0in one place in New York City.<\/em><\/p>\n

      At the far end is a smaller inclose area:<\/em><\/p>\n

      There\u2019s an enormous heavy metal door into a refrigerator that looks like the kind you\u2019d see at the Meatpacking district over in Hunts Point in the South Bronx.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Walking-up to it, Mario’ opens the door:<\/em><\/p>\n

      We step inside.<\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s has to be about 40 degrees inside; nice and chill…<\/em><\/p>\n

      There are a four 55-gallon drums..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Mario pulls the door close behind him,then guides us over to them.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Standing beside one, He\u2019\u00a0pops it open. <\/em><\/p>\n

      It\u2019s packed to the brim with what at first I thought\u00a0it was flour?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Until I realize it shimmer like sugar’..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Four 55. gallon drums of it\u2019…<\/em><\/p>\n

      He speaks about the significant aspect of the merchandise.<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cIt\u2019s Bolivian marching blow; most of it; is all already spoken for.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      ( Anyone<\/i> who knows anything about coke is that Bolivian cocaine’ most be kept refrigerated to maintain it’s high quality)<\/em><\/p>\n

      I Try to suppress my astonishment.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Mario says:<\/em>
      \u201cGo ahead guys, do some.?\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sal:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Takes a Two-inch waded of hundreds from his inside jackets breast pocket and peels two $100, bills off the top. Stuffing the rest back into the breast pocket.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Rolls one for me, thus rolls one for him..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Mario looks at me and replies:<\/em>
      \u201cJust stick it into the edge, do some without killing yourself; it’s 90% pure.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      To which Sal says;<\/em><\/p>\n

      “No problem, will just throw him into the water in the rear;\u00a0he\u2019ll sail home,\u201c<\/em>
      They burst out laughing at me..<\/em><\/p>\n

      The best, I\u2019ve ever had.<\/em><\/p>\n

      After a few more blasts and chuckling.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Mario tells Sal:<\/em><\/p>\n

      “let’s go into the outer-office and get your package so you can get the fuck out of here.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sal:<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cYou\u2019re giving me some of this, right?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

      Mario: ” Yeah.”<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sal, says to me:<\/em>
      \u201cWait for me outside\u2019 by the car; while I take\u00a0care of business.<\/em>
      The big guy is right outside the door, he walks me to the outside door; locks it behind me.<\/em><\/p>\n

      About 10 to 15 minutes later Sal\u2019 is walking out the door: At the car he\u2019 pops the truck, drops the parcel’s in it.\u00a0 Pulls-out from the trunk what I recognized to be a Israeli Uzi. ( Being a small weapons specialist in the Army I was familiar with it. )<\/em><\/p>\n

      “I knew inchase we might have issue on the way home this would solve any any of that” slams it shut..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Locks and loads it, we get in the car, he’ lays it between us: <\/em><\/p>\n

      Saying:<\/em><\/p>\n

      ” If you need to, make sure you use it, cool.”<\/em><\/p>\n

      No problem:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Moments later we\u2019re headed back to his Mother’s house; drop off the car-he, would return another night to get the packages.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Headed towards the Brooklyn Bridge it’ seems deserted along the pier’s. We stop at the only light, 1\/4 mile\u00a0from building #9.<\/em><\/p>\n

      Abruptly a black car appears out of nowhere, it breaks right on our ass.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The door snaps open on the passenger side, outcomes this dude holding what appears to me, to be an Kalashnikov, AK-47..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Standing behind the car door and has to bring the AK\u2019 to his shoulder, and up over the door so his stands is unbalanced when he, let\u2019s loose with it.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The recoil is so strong that he\u2019 can\u2019t control the weapon as recoil forces him backwards; it rips upwards with a stream of gunfire..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Because most likely, he has never discharged one before.<\/em><\/p>\n

      And before<\/i>\u00a0he gains control of the AK.<\/em><\/p>\n

      I, had pop the door open-jump-out, with the Uzi; emptying the clip in their direction as they duck-for-cover. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I jump back in; we peel out, we’re down the next block in moments..<\/em><\/p>\n

      That was very fucking close\u2019 for me.!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Sal is screaming someone set me\u2019 up, and so on, half of which, I do not know; what the fuck’ he\u2019s talking about…<\/em><\/p>\n

      We get back to his mother\u2019s house to drop off the car. In her driveway: while putting the Uzi back in the trunk; we check for bullet holes around the car\u2019s trunk and back-side..<\/em><\/p>\n

      Not\u2019 a single hit, somewhat of a lousy trigger man:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Lucky us’..<\/em><\/p>\n

      He heads inside to call a cab and too put the coke in the basement refrigerator. .<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n

      The cab pulls-up 15: minutes,\u00a0later we head back into Manhattan.<\/em><\/p>\n

      A week later, Sal tells me that the dudes with the AK, where found by his \u201cassociates.\u201d They had put the word out on the street for them..<\/em><\/p>\n

      When one of them went to a hospital for a gunshot to his shoulder. The hospital had to file a police report that made its way to some of his associates in the Police Department:<\/em><\/p>\n

      They were just on their own trying to rip Sal off. They had been observing him for two months and watching his movements at the club\u2019s. So no one he knew, had anything to do with what went down.<\/em><\/p>\n

      After their integration they delivered them to \u201cFish Haven” Where they won’t be coming back from their swim; as they float behind the warehouse and down to the bottom..<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u201cHow accurate was that?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know.?<\/em><\/p>\n

      For me it would be the end of my involvement, and clubbing for sometime to come.<\/em><\/p>\n

      It’s the last time, I\u2019m associated with any criminal enterprising…<\/em><\/p>\n

      A month later I sit down with Sal:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Telling him as much as I hate to separate:<\/em><\/p>\n

      ‘I’m out.’<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019ve given this a lot of thought:<\/em><\/p>\n

      ‘I no longer want to, live a life of living dangerously.”<\/em><\/p>\n

      I\u2019 feel it would be best for me to move on. I don’t what this to be part of my life. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I’ve spend most of my life trying to stay away from this; where no one ever, opens fire on me again with a ” Kalashnikov; ever.!!<\/em><\/p>\n

      Being killed over drugs,or doing Twenty to life, at Sing-Sing or federal prison for trafficking is not what I want in my future..<\/em><\/p>\n

      I want to get into my carrier and pick up, and go in a different direction in life.<\/em><\/p>\n

      He responds:<\/em>
      \u201cI understand wholly, Know that your always welcome to join me again…<\/em><\/p>\n

      Chapter 40:<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      A New Way Of Looking:\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      ” Thought no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new end..”<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      Carl Bard..<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

      \u00a0I connected with a High End Salon on 57th street, off Park Ave. The Salon is involved with the runway shows, Known for its celebrity clientele: 95% Of the guest; are A-list.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      Some of those A-List clients,\u00a0<\/span>I\u2019 start servicing\u00a0or assisting with the likes of Brooke Shields, Mariel Hemingway, Angie Dickinson, Olivia de Havilland, to name but a few of the guest. …<\/em><\/p>\n

      Another of the aspects of working at the salon was working the <\/span><\/em>\u201cHaute Couture Shows at the Plaza on 58th Street, in their Grand Ballrooms; \u2018for Givenchy, Armani,Versace,Chanel and then some.. <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      Thirty years before they were move to the tent shows at Bryant Park. These days at Lincoln Center\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      I settle into my new life.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      I was a\u00a0<\/span>long way from the mean Streets of the Bronx: \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      There \u00a0are two reasons a man frequently moves from one place to another, either he\u2019s searching for something or he\u2019s running from something . ? <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      Me; I’ was searching.? <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      Life continually unfold as I\u2019ve searched to find new meanings where nothing is what it seems until it comes into view.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      Will I\u2019 be afraid to see what life will finally show me, as I reach the end of life’s journey.? <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      Will I\u2019 be punished for the things I did, the lies I<\/span>\u00a0told; the secrets I\u2019ve kept.?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      My life had become like Martin Scorsese film. Dramatic, intriguing, controversial, arguably vexed and tendentious. I had been my own man there was nothing richer than that … <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      “life is a destination that begins with the profound moment of birth before your journey.\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

      Six months later:<\/em><\/p>\n

      Pausing on the rooftop promenada during an after-party Fashion\u00a0Show; I’ ponder my move to Paris. .<\/em><\/p>\n

      New York City holds my view, gazing towards Park avenue; its imposing Glass Skyscrapers approach the Havens.<\/em><\/p>\n

      The streaming of silver and, crimson, yellow, green, sheen of the car lights surging below. Implying their way downtown as they oozing through the Pan Am building. Disappearing; coiling their course into a darkened vacuum and out the other-side.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Reflecting in bewilderment, it was unpleasant to imagine before; living within various degrees of cultures. I speculate how I\u2019ve achieve this culmination position, when my life had laid prostrated so frequently. <\/em><\/p>\n

      I have scorched the lessons of the past into my soul, carrying me to my eventual destination\u2019 …<\/em><\/p>\n

      As the night chases me from my old life:<\/em><\/p>\n

      I’m blinded by the horizons rising Sun; I’ll<\/em>\u00a0wake in a new dawn’ …\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

      Book Two<\/em><\/p>\n

      Let Me Be Your Mirror”<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

      Preview Excerpt of\u00a0 Chapter One: <\/em>La Mujer En el Espejo<\/em><\/p>\n

      “She is Earth, as I am rain”<\/em><\/p>\n

      She played on a whole different field when not pleased with her’ relationship’s or for that matter anyone else who might Challenge her or try to double Crosser her-she would become a house fire; e<\/em>specially one who will ultimately bring disaster to any man who becomes involved with her emotionally.,<\/em><\/p>\n

      \u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

      \u2018Share\u00a0 On\u00a0 Facebook, Pinterest, Reddit, whatsApp<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

      Direct Messages,Comments:\u00a0 @carlitomonolo.bsky.social<\/em><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

      Thank’s’<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

      \u00a0<\/p>\n

      Blog \/ Web-page <\/b>powered<\/b><\/span> by\u00a0<\/b>WordPress<\/b>.<\/b><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

      This is a copyrighted manuscript.
      (C) All rights reserved January 15, 2015.<\/strong><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

      <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      A Pulp-Noir Novel..\u00a0 \u00a0 “Five Twenties, A Life Of Living Dangerously, is an emotional, dark, suspenseful story. The subject is raw, disquiet- disturbingly unsettling. Inspired by true events, however dates, most names have been changed throughout this story for obvious reasons and to protect the innocent. Some incidents have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.\u00a0 Chapter: … Continue reading “Five Twenties, A Life Of Living Dangerously.”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-399","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-http-ohwelltoobad-com"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9bfRa-6r","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2885,"url":"https:\/\/ohwelltoobad.com\/?p=2885","url_meta":{"origin":399,"position":0},"title":"Book Two:","author":"Carlito","date":"March 1\/15\/20159, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Let Me Be Your Mirror\" ... Please Scroll to the bottom to read \" Five Twenties a life of living Dangerously,\" The prequel to let Me Be Your Mirror..\" Book Two: Let Me Be Your Mirror .. Chapter One:: Unforgiven 'Rolling awake by thundering knocking at my door, that rumbled\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Five Twenties"","block_context":{"text":"Five Twenties","link":"https:\/\/ohwelltoobad.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ohwelltoobad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cropped-gothic-mirror-751x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ohwelltoobad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cropped-gothic-mirror-751x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ohwelltoobad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cropped-gothic-mirror-751x1024.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ohwelltoobad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cropped-gothic-mirror-751x1024.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ohwelltoobad.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/399","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ohwelltoobad.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ohwelltoobad.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ohwelltoobad.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ohwelltoobad.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=399"}],"version-history":[{"count":283,"href":"https:\/\/ohwelltoobad.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/399\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3433,"href":"https:\/\/ohwelltoobad.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/399\/revisions\/3433"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ohwelltoobad.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=399"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ohwelltoobad.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=399"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ohwelltoobad.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=399"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}