Book Two:

Please Scroll to the bottom to read ” Five Twenties a life of living Dangerously,” The prequel to, let Me Be Your Mirror..”

Due to my laptop crashing I have been unable to upload the conclusion of “let me be your mirror.” At this time ,my I.T technician has been unable to retrieve my documents from my laptop.. My apologies for this inconvenience to everyone. The only solution may be that I might need to rewrite the entire chapter, so for now I am trying diligently to not do that LOL anyhow thanks everyone I’ll post soon I promise thank you again.

Thank You,for your patient and understanding

Book Two:

Let Me Be Your Mirror ..

Chapter One:: Unforgiven

‘Rolling awake by thundering knocking at my door, that rumbled through-out my apartment. Turning to look at the clock, blurry eyed, half asleep.

Who could it be at 2:13 AM? Forcing myself half asleep, I stumbled towards the door. The floor was cold beneath my feet. I could hear the boards, which had also been asleep, crack awake. 

I looked through the peak hole. I couldn’t believe it was her. It had been four years since I’d seen that curly head of onyx black hair. 

We had agreed to separate three years earlier and planned to never see or speak to each other again. I felt for a moment as if I was still asleep, because this surely felt like a dream. 

I held my breath as I opened the door. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked. 

“Look, I’m tired,” Catalina said. “I haven’t slept in 24 hours. I just need a place to crash for a couple of days.”

I cocked my head to the side and looked confused — you couldn’t tell that she was sleep deprived by the sight of her ice-blue eyes.

She was just as stunning as she’d always been.

We stood in silence for a moment...

“Are you going to let me in or what?” she asked. 

I stepped aside without uttering a word. She walked in as if she’d never left.

She went straight down the hallway, with the boards groaning with every step under the weight of her three-inch stilettos.

She stood in the bedroom’s doorway and looked down the long hall at me. The light hit her, and her silhouette glowed blue in the moonlight. 

I still had said nothing, myself being in a bit of shock. 

“Can we just talk about it tomorrow?”

That next morning:
Sitting on the Bay window’s ledge, dawn began its break on to her partially naked body..

Tossed pillows and sheets became clouds that softly wrapped her inward, while the arch of her nude body slopes upwards, enhancing, floating on clouds.

Looking down at her, wisps of Onyx black hair spilled onto her face. 

Her crescents eyes lids open, exposing the aquamarine blue eye color hidden behind them. 

A gentle smile crests her lips..

Social autism is the source of appeal, vulgarity is its purpose …

Good morning sleepyhead!

As She presses and squeezes herself into the bedding, thrusting the pillows under her while stretching the sheet gently around her..

Looking up at me, she says,

In a soft voice,
“Are we friends again?” 

No, we’re now lovers again…

“Good, that’s what I was thirsting for, now you’re mine,”

That retort wasn’t entirely encouraging:

I know most men would feel appreciative of a woman’s responding like that about them?

But to me, I recognized she meant it literally, and that was cause for apprehension. It’s not what she’ proposed, It’s what she meant by that.?

Telling her:

In life, you have to be extremely cautious with what you wish for?

” I’m exhausted from trading with my situation in life.,?

I’m always traveling but never arriving by playing on a feminine plane..

’I want to fight. I prefer to ride stallions and be a wild woman, not a hostage!

I’ have a straightforward approach. Fuck the roar, it’s all about the pain, fear no one, Give No Quarter.

The only peaceful day was yesterday: She had an attitude that comprises the specific combination of contradictions along with a mild case of bipolar disorder.

She declares:

“You know you cannot avoid my love; it seeks you.,

let me be your mirror”

What will I see?

“The illusion of my love.”

I cock my head and raise my eyebrow at that, responding to her in a satirical light manner:

Tell me again what was your childhood like? Ha-ha, tiring to add light to that response?,

“I had a brief one.”

I told her it sounded harsh..

And dropped it at that…


Chapter: Two

La Mujer En el Espejo

“She is Earth, as I am rain to the Earth.”

While we’ were living in Paris, she was engaging in her three professions: By day a flight attendant. And by night a Cat Burglar, while her favorite activity was being a grifter,’

She baffled police with her exploits.

This unusual’ cat burglar that surfaced in Paris, during the Springs through summer months, who only stole from the uppermost floors of tallest-high-rise apartments of very wealthiest men during the last few years. 

Especially one who gains entrée undetected through the adoption of her agility
She would appear either early springs or Summer, the press dubbing her the” Spider”. Because of her stealth .. 

As a grifter, her victims were unaware Older gentlemen of means, meeting her, they would let their guard down, open themselves up to the promise of being with someone striking uniquely fascinating, her total image was bar-none like that of a seductress.,

She weaponized her body for sex; you needed to touch, taste, feel, and not necessarily in that order. Her allure would encourage you in.

She’d promised you everything, all you’ve ever craved in a woman. It will require your soul. She’d cradled you with images you wouldn’t neglect, because of the video! 

She would invariably be there to advise you of it.. Because her price was your lives’ contents, all of them.’

Which makes me reflect on our first en-counter at Trge’ which was one of those cafes’ that you love, love, to hang out at’ as I did whenever workable.

That’s where Catalina came into my life and solely because of my paucity of inquisitiveness in her when I first ‘see her ..

Chapter Three

Paris, I see you’..

I had moved into the Spanish Quarter in Paris when I first arrive from New York City ., making it a lot simpler to shop and associate with the residents.

The French are not friendly towards Americans. I’m sorry they’re not. I was just becoming comfortable in the neighborhood. Some locals started greeted me in the morning’s with’ “Bonjour”

Catalina came into my life when, I first ‘ see her while sitting at the cafe enjoying an expresso and the morning paper.

Watching her body-language-nuances easily reading her attempted, with her chance-encounter-ploy..

Yeah: it didn’t work; or did it?

Having sat, taking the table next to mine.. 

I entirely ignored her.

A few minutes after the server had come over to her.,

In an English, French Accent..

“Do you mind if I’ smoke”?

Without looking her way, I acknowledge with:

Not at all:

And go back to reading my paper and espresso.  

A minute later..

“If I smoke, are you certain it wouldn’t bother you”?  

Because I will put it out if it does “

I reassure her I didn’t care even if she was smoking a joint” (I had felt annoyed, hence my response.,

She burst out laughing’ responding in a Brooklyn accent!

” Just did. Great to encounter another New Yorker who gets high! “

We both burst out laughing!

She Introduces herself as Catalina:

I am Carlito’

She’s quickly responds with:

“Carlito: Can I accompany you.?” 

With a grin I propose to her:

I thought you’d never ask’ em’ thrill

Sitting across from me:

With a sway of her head..

“Why did you evade me when you saw me out of the corner of your eyes? I’m curious..

There was no desire to engage you.

You appear to be unapproachable to me? 

“What about now?”..

Chapter: Four

Passion, obsessions, possessiveness. Are quick to ignite and fade’..

The more we met, the more we were seeing each other daily, if possible.

We had been meeting each other now for 8 weeks, first bi-weekly as we reveled in each others’ own company, finding out we’ had much more in common.

Some mornings that she would show up from btw 1am thru 4 am. Once waking me from a dead sleep at 5:30 a.m. ..

Showing up at dawn after international flights or whether she had been on the ledge of a building…

Making her arrival known to me by her signature rambling, banging on the door! A habit she never seemed to have had dropped was, that banging, instead of just knocking like most people would she always went with the banging that drove me nuts!

‘Always has’..

This one morning after I had question, her about not spending an entire night or any nights at my flat, asking her if she was a vampire, out feeding at night?

I had, as yet, to have spent one whole night where I wake up to you?.

Instead, am opening the door for you.. at dawn ..

“I am especially fear of the night. Perhaps that is why, I always felt that at night, I need to wander the parties.. ‘

Chapter Five.

Day Two:

I, See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil:

“I hope you have the stomach for what I am about to tell you and you don’t see me as some wounded, women’ which I am not.”

I sit back and let nothing but the tall tale fill the surrounding air …

Along with wide-eyed expressions of surprise, disgust, expressive anger, with moments of hysterical crying..

You couldn’t miss the point she was trying to establish.. The cruelty she endured as a child and how she came to be with me in Paris..

Watching her expressing and energizing her point by flaunting her hands in the air, or across her face as if it were a handkerchief..

“I was eight years old when my virginity and childhood were stripped from my soul in the middle of the night… Fear was introduced in its place..

On the first morning of my first menstrual period…

I tearfully engage my mother in what I assumed would be my saving grace from becoming pregnant by my brother or my father. . .

I explained to my mother how I’ve been raped repeatedly almost nightly since the time I was eight years old, first by my father and most recently by my step-brother these last Six months..

She listens, intently in stunned silence; as I spill all the dirty little secret with all the sexual escapades between both of them and me the last few months..

She quietly gets up from the kitchen table, walking over to the broom closet, opening it takes from it a bamboo-rod.

As I turn, the rod comes down, striking me across the upper-back and neck while I’m still sitting.

I whimper from its strike..

The second blows from the rod lands across the side of my face, as she strikes me with quick succession’.

As I get up to run, I’m stricken with it across my back and legs, arms..

I’m being beaten and called a pathetic, disgusting liar, a child with nothing but Satan in their soul..

While I’m running to escape the next blow..

As I run blindly into the next room, my mother closely behind my heels, screeching profanities at me.

Steadily swinging the bamboo Rod, as it swishes through the air from behind me.

She cornered me in my brother’s room, slamming the door behind me, thrusting my body weight against it to keep her from entering.

Desperately. I glance around the room for something to fend her off with and keep her at bay.

With my entire weight press against the door frame- I see the metal baseball bat, my step-brother, (The rapist) had brought himself this past Christmas..

Stepping aside from the door and rushing for the bat, clutching it and bringing it up as if I was in a baseball game,

I wait as she kicks the door open.

She’s standing in the doorway, looking every bit craze and out of her mind.

Holding the bloody bamboo shaft at the ready to administer the next blow..

I can see her contempt for me in her eyes.

It was clear her husband hadn’t screwed her, ‘my stepfather’, since their wedding night 14 years ago.

Standing in the doorway, she claims..

I’m going to give you the beating you deserve for accusing your father and your brother of such revolting crimes and if they did fuck you? 

it’s because you seduce them to fuck you, you lying whore..!!

I’m also going to petition the parish to have you excommunicated!

You are nothing but a shameless, two-bit- whore..

I’m going to make certain Police arrest you for prostitution.!

As she stepped into the room, I waited for her, as if I was waiting for the pitch..

I took a step slightly backward as she drew close to me. As she charged at me, I swung the bat with all the full force that I could muster,.. it’s struck her straight across the forehead,

I thought she was doing the limbo, as the back of her head slammed into the floor at full force, I heard her skull fracture on impact..


I felt a Pang of regret just before; I was going to strike her one last time while she remained down on the floor with a busted skull, a coup d’état sort of-to put her down..

I let her live. She was my mother..

I back-up from the body that lay sprawl and grim and lifeless in front of me. I Drop the bat out of my hand; it clangs on the wooden floor, snapping me out of it. I ran’..


Back in my room finding and clutching a small backpack, I throw numerous

pieces of clothing, from off the floor, dresser and bed.. bathroom ….

I go back into my mother’s bedroom, then into her closet, to look for her purse. Rummaging for it, I find her purse and the grocery money in it. There are five twenty-dollar bills.

I take Three of them, shove it into the zipper compartment of the bag. I’m at the door.,

I paused there before I pulled it close behind me for the last time.”

Chapter: Six

Day Three:

Conclusions, No One Escapes ..

‘Ooooh, the bipolar disorder was just checking in…

A matter of moments later, like someone threw a light switched upstairs, she suddenly turns to me:

“They want the name of my connection. I can’t do that. It’ll be a death sentence..

The disappearing act is not exactly on top of their list for me.

They saying I don’t have enough worthiness for Witness Protection. Without some names!

I’m so fuck!

However, I have a Mark I’ve been working on for some time. He’s in his late 70s has some health issues.

He’ wants this pussy terribly before he dies?

Are you going to give him that pussy? Curious because the guy might just die?

“I told him I’d fuck-him but before I fuck-him, he has to fly me to Paris for a shopping spree.

Shopping sprees comes before the fucking sprees. I

In my rulebook, I don’t want him to die before we land either..

My disappearing act begins when I’m driven to downtown Paris to do some shopping with a credit card with a $500,000 limit.

That he’s going to give me to shop, then have the driver take me back to his Mansion estate..

I’ve been planning it for months.. Everything is set. I will walk into Chanel and never come out-simply disappear “

Both the FBI and the cartel are going to be looking for you, one doesn’t care where you are.. the other has. Rules..

“They have amazing plastic surgeons down in Venezuela and no extradition.”.

Is that where you’re headed?

You know what? I don’t want to know where you’re headed.!

She totally ignored that..

She continues on..


“I’ll take my chances better than rotting in jail.

The worst, my Colombian friends sent a message to me, which was about one of their favorite things they like to do..

Which was dunking those who do not fulfil their promises: by dunking them into sulfuric acid, one body part at a time while I was still breathing!…


” Carlito, I need a favor..”

She sits down beside me on the floor and leans onto my lap. Looking up at me, she says. With pleading eyes..

“You’re the only one that can help me with this..

I got some money, 200K in cash and 300K in negotiable bonds in a safe-deposit box.

Where is this safe deposit box?

“oh, it just so happens, were’re only Five blocks from it.. can you help me retrieve it? “

She let that awkward moment hang in the air..

“Carlito, I might have lied to you about a lot of things, but not something as serious., come on, don’t you remember anything good about us? About me?..

Carlito, I need your help?
I fuck with the wrong people, Carlito.

I Flew in yesterday from Somalia Mexico. I came straight here last night because you’re the only one I know I can trust and I need your help… I’m in trouble with the feds. They want to lock me up. They offered me a deal.”

What kind of deal.?

“Oh, I have a deal with the feds. Hopefully, I won’t do over 10 or totally disappear. That would be my best choice..”

What do they have on you? What do you think they’re going to charge you with without evidence?

“ I’m dirty  “

I mean really; you know how that shit goes? And that sounds like there is a cartel that might be involved in all of that?

“I’m pretty sure I’m being watched ..

I’m dirty Carlito.

I’m dirty and I’m afraid of what they’re saying back to me..

Rico is their first offer, and that has a string of charges attached to that word, so my choices are Slim.”

She stood up, grabs a cigarette, fighting with it, standing in the middle of the room staring off in a stoic stare, as if confessing..

fidgeting with the lighter some , looking back and forth out the window, while pacing around the room.

If I didn’t know her, I say she just did a pound of blow…

That walking contradiction in her life is,
always present during stressful times. Oh, the bipolar disorder was just checking in...

A matter of moments later, like someone threw a light switched upstairs, she suddenly turns to me:

“They want the name of my connection. I can’t do that.

It’ll be a death sentence..

My disappearing act is not exactly on top of their list.

They saying I don’t have enough worthiness for Witness Protection. Without some names!

I’m so fuck!! 

Obviously I’ve been used! From the moment she had walked in the door ….

I had to work a few of her Grift’s in the past for the thrill, but this one had a dreadful feeling to every word..

Chapter: Seven ”

I have no knowledge of that subject “
Mayra Lansky .. Murder Inc ..

We had become a glass of water that quenched each other’s thirst for intimacy, companionship, where we were our own person. ..

She continues:

” I came up sore and poor… I change my environment, it change the circumstances of my life, that, where becoming a life pattern.

I would wake up every morning with nothing but conclusion, with no endings ” ..

Catalina was the only woman I knew who was  married more times in a 10-year span then actress Elizabeth Taylor with a whopping nine times, having given her away:

“The Bride” at Three different weddings..

I asked her what drove her through so many marriages, other than the obvious..

“ I was longing, for someone to died married to. “

Her divorces where payout by men who wanted her drastically out of their lives within a week of their marriage. And all those, prenups? Those men ate them, just to see her disappear from their, lies.

To say nothing about the amounts of wealth she accumulated during those ten years, gave her the ability to reinvent herself physically, emotionally and mentally. .

Her outlet, for pent-up energy was released with gymnastics, ballet for the Poise and agility, while accumulating a couple of black belts in the martial arts. for endurance..

she was on her way to becoming a  Renaissance woman by the time she was 27 , in all aspects, and a deadly adversary.

” I learned my first life lesson from my mother.. ‘That lesson was, even when someone tells the truth about you; beat them, physically, emotionally, mentally, until they admitted thy lied “

Chapter: Eight

“Eat This Bitch,”…

“And those lessons really came in useful.
After my daring Escape from my mom.
I decide to fade into the City slums only to be turned in for a  $50.00 reward, by my brother..

I was tried and convicted and sentenced to Ten’ years for attempted homicide and felonious assault.
I’m committed to a Youth Center, for Emotionally Disturbed and troubled teens.

So they informed me it would be secure for a Thirteen-year-old rape victim..
Thinking back now, that initial Youth Center made Rikers Island in New York City seem like a stroll thru Central Park at night..

My nightmares at home would endure while they assigned me to one of the Eight by Eight dormitories that had four night, roaming security guards…

The incident of the felony, as she confessed to me, was very vague..

She was repeatedly being molested / rape from the time she started her confinement at the facility during those initial three months.. One night she’s had enough, and She, bites off the Captain of the Guard’s, “Penis”..

She’s charged with attempted homicide, with a dangerous weapon “Her mouth”. T

Three of the guards say she was the assailant, so she’s tried convicted given an additional Ten years added to the Ten she’s serving.

“At 13 years old I was facing 20 years for defending myself..”

Tuning in to her gave me the impression, as if turning every channel on a television simply to discover the Twilight Zone playing on each one with no conclusions or ending..

Her lovers lawyer, visiting another prisoner here’s about her and suggests serving as her lawyer, pro-bono.

The lawyer convinced her to file suits against all the guard the facility, the state, filing criminal assaults on her behalf.

Against the captain of the guards. Arresting three of the other guards who were looking elsewhere while she scream for help while being raped nightly for approximately 3 months..

‘ “We granted the three guards who watched out for the captain immunity for testifying and turning eyewitness evidence against the captain with the missing penis.”

They never recovered it in the cell. They suspect that she either flushed or dispose of it some other way, discounting her statement that she ate it..

Because according to her, he said to her “Eat this bitch,” before he inserted it into her mouth..

They convicted the Captain of the Guard on all counts. He’s classified as a level Three Sex Offender and given 10 years at a penitentiary. Plus 10 years probation when he gets out.,

As part of her absolution and settlement, they reduce her sentence to what it was when she was first sentence, and for not suing the state.

She is to receive a transferred to a minimal security facility that provides academic and opportunity programs that enhance her emotionally, mentally, physically where she hopes her childhood ends and a woman emerges.

While confined, she determines to get a Law degree, becoming a jailhouse lawyer. Aiding the women who want to divorce their spouses while confined..

At 24, she leaves the facility, with a law degree in Divorce law, add to that, thoroughly train in classical ballet, Acrobatic gymnastics-Sport training, Two Black belts in the Martial Arts…

She literally put those ten years to a good purpose. Now she was going to fuck the world to get, not revenge’ or retribution, but even..

Chapter: Nine

“Amour Fou“..

“Love is Lawless, it does not discriminate.
Does your love protect me, is it free giving”

Catalina.. .

Those were her opening lines to the men who proposed Love and marriage to her. Oh, and with those words you no longer own your’re life. If you answer, yes ‘ you’d start suffering right after the split personality emerged…

I say Catalina, have you played me in the same way?

I go silent…

“You realize when I first saw you sitting at the cafe’ that morning in Paris, that was my original intention to take you for whatever you had, for fun..

Even though you weren’t the type of man, I would not normally have approached.

I would never had felt that I would even date you. Of course, the space between us disappeared.

As I grew to know you, I realize I could trust and love you..

For the last Seven years that I’ve known you, for me, that’s the longest I have ever been intimate with anyone man I have ever known. Even though we were only “Together” for the first two years as a couple…

I love that, we still can be intimate like we have been during the last Six years.. Like last night ” …

You know I didn’t want to be in a relationship. I told you; I wanted to be in a lifelong intimate friendship of two people 

“I thought, I can tell you everything.“

Looking dead at me, saying:

‘” Does your love still protect me,

Is it still free giving.? “

I stared back at her realizing that she invested this “Amour Fou of Us” with a sense of Doom:

Saying to her, I always meant to love you, but you were always out of reach of that love..

Chapter: Ten

Day Five:

The Plot Thickens:

And by the way, did you set-me-up when you showed up Five days ago, to crash for a couple of days?

Stupid of me to think you wanted to see me’..

But you came to see me, to make a withdrawal from the bank, was that really it?

And can you explain how the fuck and when did you get that safe-deposit Box at the bank?

“I got the Safe deposit Box when we moved in together Four years ago. You just forgot that..

I told you about it and I said to you I needed something to secure myself.

That’s where I was keeping my, Fuck-you-money: in-case everything went south for us and I’d have that, to start over again..

Now I’m in a position where that seems to be the case..”

Does it even belong to you, and if not, who does it belong to?

I’m demanding nothing but the facts, Catalina, Maria.!

“I was living in L.A. and I was running a unique Grift:

I had been looking at the international “Tradefest Publication” that has all the listing for the biggest and the most important and best rated trade shows in Mexico and around the world..

I decided to put together a group of Brand Ambassadors, and take them, South’..

A straightforward procedure, I provide visual interaction to a male or female audiences, enticing them to buy ‘High-end Luxury Automobiles’, because that will get them a chance to fuck someone that looks like the model ‘ thar are fucking the Car’s.,

That was my message and the one the promoters insisted at the hundreds of conventions with Luxury Brands.

Since I was an independent contractor, I represent my own Ambassadors Brand Teams..

eerily laughing onto herself., as if knowing that her mischief had gone unpunished…

After registering all the documents as a Lawyer to Accredit the corporation and establish it as an LLC.

I immediately tried to employ twenty girls. Settled for Ten, butting them through some basic training, posture, poise. Most were up-coming models trying to break into the industry..

I’d contract them out at Industry shows as Brand Ambassadors for every major brand of European and American Automobiles including private exhibition for exotic one of a-kind Cars…. ’ works for them..

BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Rolls-Royce, Porsche, Ferrari, Corvette, Maserati, Lotus..
Wherever, Major Brands were exhibited at a convention center. Or privately..

Bringing collectively 20, highly gorgeous females, no one younger than 18 years old and not older than 23 years-old, persuade them, and insuring them, that they would make enormous chunks of money..

The girls were all “10’s “in every aspect…
They all seem to have a rift of alpha running through their veins, which I loved and they needed …

They were a mix of different nationalities, educated some had, Bachelor of Arts, a couple of them had MBA’s; Two of them had High School Diplomas:

(I thought they were the smartest of them all : They made the most money with the lease effort, born Grifters they were, go figure …

Amazing personalities, everyone of them, women whose presence would command attention in any situation or place.. It took almost a year to recruit and train Ten of them in some of the finer aspects of Grifting and small-scale swindling..

I started out with Ten, eventually adding Ten more.. One set of the ladies where triplets, being at three different convention centers, was quite a feat on the same day..

One night between the three of them, they pull in close to 50K.!

Any-how, the girls would clear up to a couple thousand a night, plus be tipped in the hundreds of dollars, which was their pocket money. I would clear three times, that much all in cash..

But the ladies weren’t just there to be noticed, and graceful when standing by the automobiles or the boats; They would be there not only too, sooth the automobiles with their bodies..

But also for evening entertainment for the executives at a price, of course at a set price..

Arrangements for dinner with one of the “Brand Ambassadors’ was Two thousand Dollars..

Anything else was up to them, only on the third night…

Initially, only a few of them would take part with the executives. Until they were also offered Two to Five Thousand for going to dinner, sex?..

The only rule was, you can only! Work the floor for an all-nighter, on the last day of the last show..

The other nights were dinner only..

No exception to that rule: you break it, you’re done..
Little by little, the others joined in when they realized the others were making huge amounts of money.

They suddenly wanted a piece of the action themselves, knowing that this would be kept confidential and no one would ever know. That they were actually prostituting..

The only thing that would give them away was the amount of money they were making for posing alongside a car or a boat.. If you mention a high-end show,? We were at those programs where the wealth paid…

Everything was going great for the first two years. I was making money hand over fist, working the spring summer and fall shows.

The winters I spent in Saint Tropez at the Villa. One day I got an itch; I started looking to expand outside of the United States during the offseason..

I had organized the Staff well enough that I could do it from here and never having to leave the Villa?? I needed to make a connection that promise big returns in Mexico first.

That’s what’s led me to where I am now…

Going south was how I eventually met.. “El Muerto”.. who made me an offer.,

I couldn’t ignore’ or refuse..

Chapter Eleven

Mind-Fucked

Hey mister, I’ve met a man once …
I’ve wined and dined on Mulligan soup and never wishes for turkey as I hitched and hiked and Grifted too from Maine to Albuquerque …

“The lady is a tramp. “

“I Believe I could always find Solace with you, but now it seems., my death is the only way to that Solace.”

I gave her away at three of her weddings, taking over the traditional role of the ‘Father giving the bride away or a “Best Man” instead of a Maid of Honor?

Of course, they were all very, very awkward moments..

“You will never have the competition of another man as long as I remain in love with you “

I felt like her Alpha personality just oozes out of her at that moment and she showed me the other side of her feminine vulnerable, for the first time.

I’ve never have known her to show me that side that she loves me, in the most serious way…

For 15 years, she has flown from-wherever she was to wherever I was, to meet me for Valentine’s Day,

(Except for the three times that we tried living together)

No matter who she was with or where in the world she was, or whether we hadn’t talked to each other in a year. She’ hadn’t ever missed an evening dinner and night, during those 15 years..

It was of a surprise but not entirely because of the date that knocks on at my door at 3 in the morning came on, “Valentine’s Day Eve..

Or was it because we were both emotionally damaged, wounded, complicated people who no one else would have or accept into their lives..

The rain that night was soothing as we drifted off.. Three and a half years have oozed by, yet I still felt the longing for her breath next to me in the dark

Slowly and softly kissing her neck while I laid behind her, seeing her smile, the curve of her brow looking into each other’s eyes as we lay in bed in silent conversation.

I hungered for her touch and desire, the way she held onto my back muscles while making love, feeling her pressing against me, I” d put my ear to her chest and listen to her Heart thump softly as she slept.

We often lose things, but keep looking for more. Once the burn heals and Fades we light another match. That ugly fear that the problem Maybe leaking from within- dreading that sick scary ending but loving the ride-

Wanting to be strong but still needing to let go, wanting someone to see and accept the demons. The last few years have cast a cold shadow over our passion, feeling like we’ve passed that point of no return.

Ugliness, hurt, used up, sick of the fear, always afraid, lonely, needy, too many expectations have yet to be met, too loving, too forgiving, too gullible, not strong enough, too vulnerable, too hard, too agreeable, too alone, too insensitive, too depressed, too blind..

Nature’s Primal Drive somehow got lost along the way. Falling in love has obtained a hilarious, far-sighted twist to me. Is it all in the perspective?

Do I feel this way or do I surf along the foamy Crest While others crest the murky swamp?

It’s frustrating to have so many desires, so many questions, so many urges, the want to make her smile, the desire to free fall into the gravity of her adoration…

To feel that soft blanket of security knowing she will never let me out of her life without a fight…

The floating question?
Of whether to lower my heart’s standards just to have another half…

Or whether to give up hope in finding someone because I’m getting too old.?…

The fear that something must be wrong at my age that maybe the problem lies in the cloth’s fabric and I don’t deserve those emotions..

Until I bleach out my own nagging stains.

She who I have lost through neglect and fear and insecurity. For the chance of more blank pages I have yet to write.

And hope that the things I saw and learn will be remembered and used again to cause happiness instead of heartbreak. These were my desires..

We share with each other our hunger to recapture those past moments, the ones that we had held in our memories.

If only for these last few days.

I drifted off with the thought that my nights were cold without her soul beside me..

The next morning, I asked her to pick up where she left off the night before, by answering my original question of the cluster-fuck she has gotten herself into in Mexico.,

“I Arrived in Mexico City in early June. I checked into a suite at the Hyatt.

Reaching out to one of the major automobile presenters, I could set up a meeting to provide ambassadors at their shows exhibition..

At the meeting with the senior executives, I provide detail of our service, and how it’ benefits their company by increasing sales to have:
My Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model look-alike, ambassadors assign to the vehicle. Adding physically, of course.

They will be available for company functions or private parties with every discretion..

The ambassadors will be fully knowledgeable of whichever vehicle they are assigned to. With accurate stats, of its performance in details ..


I also provide the executives with profiles of the 10 to 12 presenters that will be assigned to that company including, their security clearances.

Guaranteeing that they are also bonded and insured, of course including their fees and confidentiality, the NDA including affidavits sign by each of the Ambassadors.

I finished with:

There are no consequences with this deal just, Profits!

I go silent, and minded-fuck him, as I gently leaned over towards the other side of the table to provide the Mont Blanc..

My cleavage is beaming into their eyes, instead of looking at the pen, as I place it gently into the hand of the CFO, guiding it to the signature line …

Bringing my femininity into play, I let my cleavage and my Coco Chanel # 5, do its things..

He muttered sweet nothings about how wonderful it will work with me..

As he, sign on the dotted line, without taking his eyes off my girls ..

Finishing he lifts his bloated “red face” from too much scotch and water, showing a smile that ran end-to-end above the double chin of his face.

Yes: Chins..

That one minute cost him $250.000., thousand for staring and wishing’…


 

Chapter Twelve

The Burros of the friendly Skies

“At the conclusion of our second season of presentations and exhibition in Mexico City, a senior executive wishes to welcome me to a dinner to contact a highly prominent Mexican corporate liaison who could open doors, I never would have imagined.

It would be desirable for me oh, so he added “..

El Muerto had had her investigated and determine oh, that she could be as treacherous as one of his own men, if not lethal if she required to be.

Realizing that her speciality was creating arrangements that move and were very successful, which was what counted when millions are affected..

” The following evening a Stretch picks me up at my Hotel bringing me to a mountain top Villa

who was looking for a way legally?.

If possible to purchase from one or two, maybe even three.? Their automobiles and Yachts in the US bringing them down to him and he, in-turn, sells them back.

‘The money is now washed..

The other idea he put forward was if you would be interested in being not a mule but a burro?

He tells her it would be virtually undetected since she flies private jets with her brand ambassador. He has come up with a way to move  20 kilos with no detection.

By using their bodies:
Specifically, their cup size would become large by stitching “cocaine circular headed paste disc” into the padding of the cup. Who’s saying they’re not real?

A week later, on the way home, all the girls had two cup larger breasts, then when they arrived a week earlier in Mexico.

The Learjet lands, and they’re usually wave through at customs by the agents who just want to see them walk by all happy and giggling, filtering, as they walkthrough undeterred, question or otherwise..

After the first flight, she thought he was right. Who’s going to question that?

It was ingenious.

She would get 25%. It was less of a risk and less complicated than she thought it would be..

At the Hotel three very well-dressed gentleman came by to take possessions of bras and left just as quickly as they came.

Within a couple of hours, they’ll gather and pickup the others..

Each of the girls received a hefty bonus.

She would average 100,000 for herself..

* Unfortunately, she was unwilling or unable to share any further information of these individuals for obvious reasons.

All the girls knew that the bra’s padding was filled with a cocaine paste that increase the breast cup size by a factor of two.

As long as they would get a tremendous bonus for wearing them with no questions asked … till someone came to pick them up at their hotels..
“Catalina:

“Carlito, I need to tell you a little of the backstory from my meeting with El Muerto. Carlito, remember the friend I had spoken to you about?

Alx.? remember her?

I reached out to her in Venezuela, where she’s a rare book store owner, She tells me, she knows of him and he is ruthless and that a likely contract would get put on me if anything goes wrong, even stopped and questioned could’ do it..

Alx, came at me saying

” What are you getting into.?

You will not win with any unacceptable result of my shipments. If those results are threatened or manner.

“I repeated to her I love risk. If it gets me killed, so be it…”

Alx:

“You’d be putting your’re life in a position where it would be likely for you to end up-dead in some hideous way.
By these people, if they are double-crossed in any manner and you should heed my warning, walk-away “

(Alx) was a friend of hers she met when she was first incarcerated – She becomes her cell mate and lover after biting off the prison guard’s penis)

And both had been, parole on the same day? Coincident, who knows what day did for that?

Saying she is a Natural Born Killer or a Hit-Woman or some highly trained assassin? 

She was Russian?

Abandoned at Birth in a hospital in Moscow, adopted in the states and then abandon again in a basement stairwell by the adopted parents at 3.

Adopted by crackhead parents, who just wanted the monthly support payments. The child gets hooked, at Nine years old, binging and crashing at 9 and a half years old from a 2-day bender. She shoots them both as they sat in the kitchen sharing a crack pipe and refusing to turn her on…

With two dead amphetamine parent junkies, making her a ward of the state.. irony?

And spends the next 15 years incarcerated for her own good, so there’s that..

(It was rumored, and said in the facility, that she was the one to take care of anyone as long as they could pay)

And a track record to prove it..

“But before I’m found and liquefied, I need you, Carlito, to do something with me that only you can access what I need you to get.

When we first started living together, you know I open that bank account down the block, well that wasn’t exactly true. What I did was forge your names “…

(lets that sink in)

WHAT!?

I forged your name onto to the Bank documents.

So my back account is actually your bank account.”

: a broad smile crosses across her face..

Happy??..

I’m thinking:

“I’m Going To Fucking To Jail!!…

“I open the account with $10,000, five year CD. But the main reason for that savings account was so that I can also get a safe-deposit box and I used your name to get one, so you are the signator’s perfect match.

I’m in stunned silence.

Thinking, I’m I supposed to be…

“Happy.”.

I had too In order to open an untraceable account’s on line:

I simply lifted your signature and pasted it onto the safe-deposit box documentation that I down loaded, so you can walk right in, retrieve my belongings, close out your bank account.

It’s totally legal, unless you tell on me, everything in the account is yours, if you have the need or feel like double-crossing me “…??

‘Remember when you made that first deposit for me? With Ten grand, you opened that account..

Well, that’ today is worth, $11,000. it’s yours for the trouble of going downstairs, walking a few blocks, close out your’re bank account, and retrieving the contents of the safe deposit box.

What do you think?..;

“Before you answer, I have another confession to make to you..
After spending a few days catching up with Alx, and on her recommendation, I’d lie low in Venezuela. But that was not to be. Three days after subletting a Chalet in a working-class district, I had midnight visitors they entered quietly clad in all black and welding machetes.

Neither Left alive, neutralizing one of them in the initial attack, using his machete I struck him at the base of the shoulder where the collar meets the rest of his torso, slashing downward with maximum force, the blade slices through him like a hot knife detaching him from the left side of his body…

His companion fared little better. but before I killed him, I extract from him a message that was simply” …

“El Muerto de manda una buena muerte,”

“He sends you a good death” ..

I executed him with one single stroke to the top of his skull, splitting it in half …

Recognizing I needed to go deeper underground, I came here..no one knows of you, no one’s ever learned of you, I’ve never discussed you in any shape or form, you’re non-existent to those who know me or of me.. so I came here to get my “Fuck-you-money” … and disappear into the world..

Come with me, Alx will join us, the three of us could really be happy together.!!

Chapter Thirteen :
The Big Con..

“Our occupation is naught but a breath of wind. “

Gilgamesh..

Some very dangerous characters are searching for her. Maybe it was because our street Creed in the previous interlace with each diverse’s worlds.

Here she was embroiled in a global narcotic plot which seem to catch up with her.. 

The bra caper the triplets hauled off didn’t fly easily for them either, so it sounds, because all three have departed from their late relocation to her villa in Italy..

Their entire strategy reminded me of flying back from Ocho Rios before progressing through customs there and in the United States.

 I purchased a $3 box of a Jamaica cigar, swapping the labels on a box of the Cohiba Cuban with those of the Jamaican brand. 

 The Customs representative in the US scrutinizing them as I looked on..

“I expect you’re going to enjoy these. They are the sole ones recognized Legally..”

 I will, thank you..

Relabeling them, when I went to my apartment with the 50-Cohiba labels that were in my pocket, as I strolled through custom.. 

However, those were Cuban cigars! 

‘Not seven and a half kilos, of ‘Peruvian marching cocaine, plundered between those three splendid Young grifters?

And that was on her..

I needed to maintain my distance.

I go back at her. So what transpired to the alternative Seven ladies? what’s their tale? How are they resolving,?

 I learn you dissolve the corporations that the company led in Caymans, but likewise, how do they fall into El Muerto intentions?

Do you still have access to the alternative 10 million?.

 I go mute..

Totally ignoring my asking, of the other Seven other Brand Ambassadors‘ instead, She settles backward calmly into the cushions on the lounge, lightly crushing them inward as they absorb her, as in slow motion…

 She tilts her head back, mildly shakes her hair to the left and somewhat back, which is a “Tell for someone who’s about to lie.. 

Responding: 

“How considerable is it going to come to? “

He who talks first loses..

“I informed you; you could have the $5,000 that is in the account when you close it out “…

My unplanned concern is if I just accept that, it will be absolutely lawful. 

If, I accept cash from whatever she’s or whomever she’s grifting from, I would be a conspirator no matter how old the money is….

Where is it?

“It’s not $300,000 like I told you. It’s over, like 18 million in those untraceable bonds, of course. How much do you want?

I’m. fair “..

I Prefer None..

I just want you to pick-it-up and follow through with your arrangements and for the second time don’t come back here. I don’t think it’s healthy for us, for me! This has to be our goodbye..

“I don’t know where to hide. What am I going to do?.

Roam around the world.?..”

You have some exceedingly evil people looking for you..

Walk into Chanel In Paris again and disappear..

 Connect with Alx.?..

And it’s not realistic here with me..

Tomorrow I’m not going to close out the account until you figure out what you need to do….

Chapter Fourteen

The Surly Departed..

It was a Sunday in Paris when she originally put the gun to my head and cock the trigger, threatened to execute me.

Now that she was back, I started to become particularly cautious of her, her scheme to have me withdraw the $10,000 and remove the $18 million plus in transferable bonds. from her safe deposit box ..

A lot can go awry?

I have this sixth sense instinct. I’ve never underestimated. It prevented me from jail and has kept me alive…

For someone who suggests of being sure that they were going to be finished off, she didn’t show much fear that she was being hunted?…

Thus, the unsettled awareness developed into suspicion..

Was I being paranoid?

Was I’ the mark all along, her strategies of deciding to salvage herself by running away with me was nothing but part of a grift she was working to draw me into, she after all was a grifter…

I resolve to reach out to some contacts to assess the actuality of her story and whether the FBI has reached out to her, and whether she is being straightforward?

I detested myself for not trusting her, but I had to find out..

Her story description was crammed with overly minutiae details, none of which could be verified or disproved.

Before bed we share a glass of wine, and some small talk about her drama. Telling her I had some necessary monthly errands to take care of in the morning.

Her wine was spike, my was not. I search, her phone for some numbers I don’t have but have names

I would have to call in a few markers and most likely wind up putting out a few.
I have to move on it fast. She was like a used car salesperson, slick of hair and quick of tongue and convincingly so.

I was looking specifically for:

Alx…

Uncertainty had inched into my mind that I might actually be a hit?

I left the apartment early the next morning, saying to her not to leave. I didn’t want to come back to the apartment to discover you left and have been apprehended?

Replying with laughter to that description, we both sort of grinned it off!

As I stepped out the door, telling her..

“I’ll see you sometime later this afternoon or early evening.

knowing this might be the last time, we’re as cordial as we have been, I step back in, walking back into the bedroom, lean over the bed, kiss her passionately before saying goodbye once again..

If all is true, I will miss her..

I picked up a few disposable phones and start making calls

After some calls, I still haven’t determined how everything, everyone I had spoken to told me, they were unaware or had any knowledge of her being in south América. not within this past year …                  

My apprehension was starting to increase that she was not on the level with me.

A colleague attached to Major Law administration departments, who owns me a favor, informed me as far as he learned the FBI has not questioned her about anything?…

Nevertheless, they had her on their sonar for trafficking. They had no actual specific evidence, just reputed that she was working with El Muerto….

There was no definitive line of certainty, just more gossip above all else.. to accept those facts I had to reach out to Alx, she would know …

Alx was thrilled to hear from me. We had met a few times when she had visited us in Paris and another occasion when we were living together, in the Los Angeles.

She asked me how Catalina was?

Which was unusual because Catalina had told me over two weeks earlier that she had been holding up in Venezuela at Alx’s house for the last 2 or 3 months.

Alx was happy that she and I were doing well because she hasn’t heard from her in over a year..

To cover my call to her ‘’’

I say, you know Catalinas Birthday is in a month, I want to get us tickets and come down for her B-day, in Three weeks. Can I ask you, if you provide accommodate for us?Unless if would not be an intrusion on you’re privacy? otherwise I’ll make hotel reservations?

Alx: “I wouldn’t have it!

I’ strongly insist that you and Catalina, stay here as long as you two want to stay! I mean that,”!

Great, will-hang out soon then, just do me a favor, don’t call her, that I am surprising her with tickets to come down to see you as her Birthday Gift; so it’s a surprise.!

“It would be great to see her and you. I’m looking forward to getting to spend time with you both and in bed since, Catalina assured me. She’d like to share me, with you..

She makes jokes about her shoving me out of the bed or pushing me off the bed. We laugh, making a few extra innuendos about our sexuality drives.

I exchange some more witticisms and saying goodbye and great speaking with her-looking forward to visiting her..

I knew that was never going to happen.. Unfortunately…

So I was going to be the Fall Guy for someone or something. Recognizing how resourceful she was, I would have to keep my measures to a margin and be very tight to the vest.

Evidently, the entire narrative of her murdering off those two machete welding Invaders was nothing but one vast bullshit fiction. 

I bought right into it and why wouldn’t I..
Never realized she would burn me this way, she would unquestionably decide to kill me afterwards. After all, she was also femme fatale, and I had to be ready to ward off her attempt..

She would pick up on any words that emanated from skeptical questions. That might give it away, that I realized I was her mark…

I head back to the apartment and to hear out what Catalina’s plan is for us to retrieve the money at the bank.

The prospect of that impending discussion spikes my apprehension level to a margin of 8 on the paranoid scale.. 10 is the prime point!

She’s a talented grifter. It’s troublesome to know when she is lying…

Chapter Fifteen

The Getaway

Look back over the past, with its changing Empires that Rose and fell, and you can foresee the future, too. We all knew what was going to be..

Marcus Aurelius

I had to break it down and find out where my place was in the Con..

The two things I needed to know. Who? why?..

******

As I walk into the apartment, the air is filled with the scent of her. My pituitary gland with other parts of my body sped up by, releasing all of my endorphins,
I think they all immediately peak
Rushing down the hall to the front door, making the floorboards behind her come to life, screeching loudly behind her ..

At a full run, she runs into me, wrapping her arms and legs around me it’s. intoxicating..

I respond in time, unable to avoid embracing her embrace, as I look- into her piercing blue eyes..
I could almost see the universe…

She is a seductress’: I kept telling myself!

I quickly gather myself and push away from her-at least arm’s length.

I have to live the life I’ have, not the life I had in Paris. Nor the one before that or before that.. 

Looking straight into her eyes, I say to her,

I spoke to Alx today?

“I know you both spoke..
She called me right after you said ciao.”

What did she have to say about my visit.?

” That you were asking strange questions about my where-about over this past month “

I go in my backpack pull out two first-class tickets. Holding them up to her, that’s why I called her…

We’re going to visit and stay with Alx for you’re 35th birthday!..

To be continued in Chapter: 16th

In the dramatic conclusion of

‘Let Me Be Your Mirror …